BORN IN HARD LUCK
Chris Bouchillon

[SPOKEN:] Folks, I want to tell you what a hard luck man I am.
I was born in hard luck.
I was born on the last month in the year,
The last week in the month,
The last day in the week,
The last hour in the day,
The last minute in the hour,
And the last second in the minute,
And to tell the truth about it, I liked not to got here at all.

I had a job one time a-working in a grocery store.
A lady came in and I asked what I could do for her,
And she says: "What is your butter today?"
I said: "Lady, my butter is butter today."
She said: "Well, I'm glad it is,
That I got here yesterday was axle grease."
So the boss fired me. Oh, I'm hard luck.

So I went on down the street and I got me another job,
In a ladies' shoe store.
That was a good job too.
All I had to do when a lady came in to try on a pair of shoes
Was just to lace up her laces,
But the boss fired me there. He said I got above my job.

So I went on down the street and I got another job in a department store.
One day a lady came in, and I asked her what could I do for her.
She said: "I'd like to see your underwear, young man."
I told her: "You'll have to excuse me this time.
I don't wear any. It's too hot."
The boss fired me there too. Oh, I'm hard luck. Ain't no doubt of that.

Then I got another job, in a dry-goods store.
One day a lady came in and wanted to buy a pair of hose.
I asked her what size she wore.
She said she forgot her number,
And I told her I was sorry but we didn't have any dressing room to try 'em on in.
So the boss came back there wantin' to know what the trouble was,
And I told the boss about it. He said: "Well now, I'll tell you what to do:
All you young men clerks go back to the back end of the store,
And let the lady go behind the counter and try her on a pair of hose,
And the first one I catch of you looking, I gonna fire him right then."
Well, after I lost that job, I started to singing for a living.

And now I'm gonna sing you all a little song entitled
"In Time of Trouble, Prepare for Walkin'".

[SUNG:]My bonnie bent over his gas tank,
The height of its contents to see.
He lighted a match to assist him.
Oh, bring back my bonnie to me.
Bring back, bring back,
Oh, bring back my bonnie to me.