Britons, have no fear ! I have been in training in exile these many long years and have returned to defend you from this onslaught ! (This time I will get it absolutely right, I promise you. I will not be beaten.) Trust me ! We will be victorious against these Martian hordes !

As Dio Cassius said of me last time round: "She was huge of frame, terrifying of aspect, and with a harsh voice. A great mass of bright red hair fell to her knees...Now, she grasped her spear, to strike fear into all who watched her."

The years have looked kindly on me. I am even more huge and terrifying now and, though hard to contemplate that it is possible, kind friends tell me that my voice has become still harsher.

Little Hawk, you say their men are "gorgeously suave"...I must confess, this gave me pause for thought that I might join you as a collaborator... But no ! I have met their sort before. I will stand by my people !

Fellow Britons ! Rally round ! We meet at dawn on Wednesday next at the lay-by just before the turn-off to Colchester on the A12.

BOUDICCA