We have seen thee, Queen of Cheese
Lying quietly at your ease
Gently fanned by evening breeze
Thy fair form no flies dare sieze

I need the rest of the words...can't find 'em anywhere.

Can anyone help? The guy who wrote it was an astonishingly bad poet who attained considerable fame in the 19th century precisely because he wrote such bad poetry. People bought it to laugh at it. Anybody remember who he was?

Your description: an astonishingly bad poet who attained considerable fame in the 19th century precisely because he wrote such bad poetry sounds distinctly like William McGonagall, (died in Edinburgh 1902). Unfortunately, The Queen of Cheese is not in Poetic Gems, the collection on my bookshelves.

McGonagall was much admired by Spike Milligan, the quintessential Goon - and McGonagall was rated as the "World's Worst Poet" in The Book of Heroic Failures".

Best of luck with these words - I shall await them with bated breath.

Regards,

Bob Bolton

All gaily dressed soon you'll go
To the great Provincial Show,
To be admired by many a beau
In the city of Toronto.

Cows numerous as a swarm of bees --
Or as the leaves upon the trees --
It did require to make thee please,
And stand unrivalled Queen of Cheese.

May you not receive a scar as
We have heard that Mr. Harris
Intends to send you off as far as
The great World's show at Paris.

Of the youth -- beware of these --
For some of them might rudely squeeze
And bite your cheek; then songs or glees
We could not sing o' Queen of Cheese.

We'rt thou suspended from baloon,
You'd caste a shade, even at noon;
Folks would think it was the moon
About to fall and crush them soon.

Malcolm

Cheese, cheese, cheese Won-der-ful cheese Bees don't like cheese But I love cheese.

Cheddar, cheddar, cheddar In any kind of wedder There's simply nothing bedder Cause I love cheddar.

Add equally bad verses ad libitum.

It just gets worse and worse
Verse by turgid verse
The very gods would weep
Or else they'd fall asleep

Thank you, Malcolm Douglas, I am in your debt!!!

I think it would be fun to see if any of us Mudcatters can actually write poetry this bad...could be fun, don't you think?

Maybe I'll launch a thread...

I think your James McIntyre could be a dark horse to unseat William McGonagall! (Oh! The umplumbed depths of Victorian heroic poetry!)

Regard(les)s,

Bob Bolton

Carol