BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 16 Nov 01 - 10:27 PM

Nice song Amos.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: catspaw49
Date: 13 Jan 01 - 06:32 PM

Ah yes Leej.....The stigma is removed from you Briarhoppers when WVA is mentioned. Why in West Virginia they actually DO teach the three R's......that's readin', ritin' and Rt.33 to Ohio. Although I relly don't understand why they'd wish to leave.......its the only state with the fly as its state bird!

Two ol boys were headin'for Ohio one night and they got to the river and saw there was no bridge in sight. They shined their flashlight across to the Ohio shore and thought awhile about it. Finally, one said, "Hey! I got it! Shine your flashlight across and I'll walk over on the beam. Then I'll turn mine on and you can walk over on my beam." The other thought for a minute and replied, "Sounds like it would work, but I can't swim and I can't trust you. I'll get half way and you'll probably turn the damn flashlight off!"

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: CarolC
Date: 13 Jan 01 - 04:32 PM

Ahh... the symetrical perfection of being the 100th poster. I think that deserves a clique of its own.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: CarolC
Date: 13 Jan 01 - 04:19 PM

Our pleasure, LEJ, I'm sure.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: SINSULL
Date: 13 Jan 01 - 03:02 PM

Cletus is Spaw's male member??? How does he eat the possum? Oh never mind - I don't want to know.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: GUEST,LEJ
Date: 13 Jan 01 - 02:38 PM

CarolC, on behalf of Kentuckians I just wanted to thank you West Virginians for making us feel like urbane sophisticates :>}

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: R!
Date: 13 Jan 01 - 01:53 PM

Hi all! Word has it that Jimmy Hoffa is part of the foundation of the Meadowlands arena. I've never been there and so can't confirm. However, there is a Teamsters Hall just inside the town line and this past summer's election had the police force out in full. Our local force in squad cars, park police on horseback, county police driving prison transport busses, motorcycle police wearing mirrored sunglasses. The joint was crawling with coppers. The Philly TV stations all sent over reporters. Oh my, the excitement was palpable. (We're somewaht removed from the gangsters and thuggery) The teamsters voted but didn't riot and everyone else departed, dissapointed. We Jerseyites really can take a joke. ;-)

Rowana

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: Morticia
Date: 13 Jan 01 - 06:11 AM

I hope you send it to Aine for the songbook!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: Troll
Date: 12 Jan 01 - 08:29 PM

Yeah Amos. Ya done good.

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: Morticia
Date: 12 Jan 01 - 08:26 PM

That is absolutely BRILLIANT, Amos........applause, applause, maximus applause!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 01 - 04:58 PM

As long as we are in a Music Forum, the Inner Clique should reveal its charter Club Theme Song, which is introduced by a whining steel electric riff with double-time drumming in the background to a hot boogie-woogie beat:

Mudcat Cafe Number 16

Oh, God told Maxwell, "Build me a Site!"
Max says, "Chill, I been drinkin' all night"
God say, "Tough." Max  say, "What?"
God say, "You can do what you want Max, but
Just don't come knocking at no Pearly Gate!"

Well Max says, "Just what d'ye want this site to say?"
God says, "Let's just call it Mudcat Cafe."

Well Old Man Spaw, he had a bloody nose
Stuck in a ward with them paper-towel clothes
He asked the doctor,  where can I go?
Doctor  said there's only one place I know
Where they'll still love you, man, when you're old and gray...

Spaw sez, "Quick, man, show me the way!"
Doc says, "It's down at the Mudcat Cafe".

Well Rick the FIeld said to  Big Joe King,
I got forty second-hand folkies who cain't sing
And a ream of old Gibsons with broken strings
Do you know where I can get rid of these things?
And Big Joe  said let me think if there ain't some way...

And he hands old Rick a blue clicky piece of Cleigh
"Just take it all down to that Mudcat Cafe".

Now the fifteenth newbie on the fortieth thread
Said the jargon was gettin' stuck in her head
And the Songbook scansion was ruining her night!
So Troll said come here, baby, y'know I think you're right...
Let me tell the Gaelic Goddess, she'll make it all OK,

But the Gaelic Goddess, she was having her way
With a sad-eyed poet out at the Mudcat Cafe.
 
 

Regards,

A.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: CarolC
Date: 12 Jan 01 - 04:24 PM

Sorry Rowana.

It's just, you know, living in West Virginia and all, it's hard for me to find places to make fun of.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Jan 01 - 02:46 PM

Not really Peter.......I just showed you that thing where you hold your genitals in your right hand while shaking with your left turned 180 degrees as a joke. Then when I realized how stupid it was making you look, yet somehow also quite happy...........well, I just didn't have it in me to tell you it was a joke.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: Peter T.
Date: 12 Jan 01 - 01:41 PM

There is a secret handshake. yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: Pseudolus
Date: 12 Jan 01 - 12:55 PM

It's filling up, the Eagles died there last week...sniff!

Frank

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Jan 01 - 12:43 PM

Yeah chantey.......Time to bury this one I guess.

SO...Rowana? Anything still available out in the end zone at the Meadowlands?

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: GUEST,chanteyranger
Date: 12 Jan 01 - 12:18 PM

Well, Spaw, I guess that cements it.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Jan 01 - 10:59 AM

Really Rowana? Have you seen Jimmy Hoffa around?

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: R!
Date: 12 Jan 01 - 10:08 AM

Hey! I'm from New Jersey! And, as John Gorka sings, "...I don't expect much..." But please don't cast aspersions on New Jersey; it crushes our spirit. Besides, I live in such an adorable town.

Rowana

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: CarolC
Date: 11 Jan 01 - 07:21 PM

Yeah, Morticia, that was it. As far as the sterner stuff goes, you ever been to New Jersey?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: Morticia
Date: 11 Jan 01 - 06:51 PM

Awwwww, Carol, I woz hoping you woz made of sterner stuff..... I always wanted a sister....... go on, admit it, it was responsibility for Spaw wasn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat CafT Inner Clique Application
From: Snuffy
Date: 11 Jan 01 - 04:57 PM

On the whole, I'd rather be in Philadelphia. (W C Fields)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: CarolC
Date: 11 Jan 01 - 04:48 PM

Hmmm.....

I see what you mean, Morticia. Maybe I'll just take a trip to New Jersey.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: Jim Krause
Date: 11 Jan 01 - 03:23 PM

IDENTIFICATION PORTION:

Full Legal Name: James Eurastus Mordachai Clive Percival Festus Herbert Walker Bush Krause

Former names, and dates of name changes (please give brief explanation for each name change on back of form): Billy Bob Hey You Dommer Esel Dubyah Shifferbrains. Date of change: 1/11/01

Names you might have wanted to have had instead:
Sue

Mudcat Name (GUESTs need not apply): Jim the Mudcatter formerly known as Soddy

QUIZ PORTION - MULTIPLE CHOICE:

How do you pronounce "clique"?
___ rhymes with "chic"
___ rhymes with "chick"
_X__ rhymes with "thick way"
___ other: rhymes with "_____________________________"

Where is Sperlonga?
___ Ontario
___ Somewhere in the Balkans
___ Italy
___ Who cares?
Just on the other side of Ozawkie, Kansas

Cletus is:
___ an otter
___ a possum
_X__ Spaw's male member
_X__ a rock group comprised of former members of Oasis
The two are or might not be mutually exclusive

Flaming and character assault are:
___ wrong
_X__ wrong when done by GUESTs
___ fun
_X__ a great source of sexual pleasure

Rick Fielding is:
___ God
___ a god
___ godlike
_X__ a hell of a nice guy

Max is:
___ God
Nah, maybe the Fourth Person of the Trinity now renamed the Quadratity.

A sense of humo(u)r is:
___ a sign of a sick mind
___ more to be feared than respected
___ more or less a necessity in cyberspace
___ what Spaw needs for Christmas next year
All of the above

BS means:
___ just what it looks like
___ please get infuriated by this thread
___ Bachelor of Science
___ Blow it to Smithereens
All of the above

The number one rule to remember at Mudcat is:
___ never stand downwind of Spaw
___ relax and have fun
___ if it ain't in Child it ain't folk
___ never disagree with an Inner Clique member
All of the above. Good advice, except Lomax should be added to Child

QUIZ PORTION - ESSAY QUESTION

I want to be a member of the Mudcat Café Inner Clique because (continue on back if necessary): I don't have a life and hafta hang out to dry in Cyberspace.

OATH PORTION

I hereby solemnly swear, affirm, and/or agree that, if selected by the Mudcat Café Inner Clique (MCIC) as a perspective member, I will uphold the laws, bylaws, and sacred taboos of the Mudcat Café Inner Clique (MCIC), never revealing them to non-Mudcat Café Inner Clique (MCIC) members, not even my dog, and eventually have them tattooed on my inner left thigh in bright fuchsia ink. I will attack all anonymous GUESTs at every available opportunity, and make as many inside jokes as my keyboard can stand. You know, (he sez with his fingers crossed behind his back) an oath never made an honest man of a liar, and an honest man needs no oath to force him to be truthful. And I ain't got a dog. (Fingers uncrossed now.) Honest.

(signature) 1=034ghqa'dlfkbnq4\5u0-ijksfmgb
Jim Krause

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: Morticia
Date: 11 Jan 01 - 12:36 PM

I'll see your 17 year old and raise you a 15 year old boy with attitude.....and, when he gets old and senile (in about 18 months or so I reckon) you get responsibility for Uncle Spaw on even days.....and have you met the rest of the family.......I don't call myself Morticia for nothing you know.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: CarolC
Date: 10 Jan 01 - 08:42 PM

Morticia,

Iwish...

I think I'm probably about ten years older than you. You can have all of my stuff, though. It's not worth s**t. As for the babysitting, I've got a seventeen year old, so I figure I only owe you about two years of back babysitting... unless you're saying you want me to babysit your back.

See? We're bickering already. We must be sisters.

hesperis, thanks for the ettiquette tips. Now I'll know who to call when I don't know how to behave myself properly. (Be prepared for a lot of calls...)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: hesperis
Date: 10 Jan 01 - 07:40 PM

The only thing that'll stop the Thread Topic Police is mudcat being down. And that's not much fun for the rest of us either...

Carol, you don't have to be related to someone in order to visit. Just bring a nice usable gift and write a "thank you note" when you get back home.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Jan 01 - 07:25 PM

Carol....You will also be stuck with an ancient and aging LFU and a newly acquired, lecherous, and equally ancient cyber-uncle. You need to put some thought into your decision on this thing.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat CafT Inner Clique Application
From: Morticia
Date: 10 Jan 01 - 06:58 PM

Carol, if you are going to become my sister, there are a few things we need to get organised:,
a) I am probably older than you and therefore always right
b) what's yours is mine, what's mine is my own
c) you owe me 19 years of back-dated babysitting

still keen ( rhymes with effervescent)????

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: mousethief
Date: 10 Jan 01 - 03:25 PM

Not as long as the Thread Topic Police are on the job. Neither fog nor snow nor sleet nor gloom of night prevents them from making their rounds, you know.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: Naemanson
Date: 10 Jan 01 - 03:20 PM

Thanks for clearing that up, MT, I was worried we might get away without being chastized.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: mousethief
Date: 10 Jan 01 - 02:55 PM

Actually, Troll, it is pronounced "it". Rhymes with spit.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: Troll
Date: 10 Jan 01 - 02:51 PM

DAGNABIT! All this pronounciation and rhyhming stuff has got me all confused again. I always thought it was pronounced KLY-CUE.
Dang!

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: Pseudolus
Date: 10 Jan 01 - 02:38 PM

I hate to be piquey but that would be a magenta "cliquey". We won't hold that against ya.....

Frank

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: mousethief
Date: 10 Jan 01 - 02:20 PM

Not once you click it, Matt. Then it's a magenta clicky.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: Matt_R
Date: 10 Jan 01 - 02:19 PM

Alex, PLEASE, it's a Blue Cliquey.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: mousethief
Date: 10 Jan 01 - 02:14 PM

BTW, where is the dissenting voice to say this is a stupid thread and we should only have threads dealing with music?

You missed it, apparently. Click here: clicky (hope that works!)

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: Ribbit
Date: 10 Jan 01 - 02:07 PM

Ladies and gentleman take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice. ;]Thom

"A little nonsense now and then is welcomed by the wisest men." Willie Wonka

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: Naemanson
Date: 10 Jan 01 - 02:05 PM

Mousethief! You posted to the Do Not Post thread? I'm shocked. Ho dare you? Are you a member of the inner clique (rhymes with virus). Isn't that who that thread is for?

BTW, where is the dissenting voice to say this is a stupid thread and we should only have threads dealing with music?

To meet that criteria I am currently listening to Stan Rogers sing Barret's Privateers (rhymes with clique).

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: MMario
Date: 10 Jan 01 - 01:27 PM

Question! *waves hands madly in air*

(Why madly, you ask? Talk to people who know me.)

Rumour is that the inner innermost cliquessima is actually OUTSIDE the clique! The nerve!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: Audi
Date: 10 Jan 01 - 01:22 PM

ROFL!!! so hard my teeth are cliqueing together! (rhymes with more, please)

Audi

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: mousethief
Date: 10 Jan 01 - 01:05 PM

Not so fast, Naemanson! Just because you're a member of the clique doesn't mean you're a member of the INNER clique, and most people in the INNER clique don't even know of the existence of the INNER INNER clique (cliquam cliquoram in Latin (rhymes with Satin).

And the INNERMOST clique (cliquissima) isn't even verified to exist, although its members tell me it's a heckuvalot of fun (rhymes with stun).

Meanwhile go to the most recent do not post thread and see the picture I posted.

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: Naemanson
Date: 10 Jan 01 - 12:59 PM

If I'm a non-member of the non-clique (rhymes with chair)can I be a full member of the clique (rhymes with irving).

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: hesperis
Date: 10 Jan 01 - 12:47 PM

What?!!

Somebody I don't know mentioned the Non-Clique?!!! Oh, horrors!!!!!

Well, for *that* one, you can't be a non-member unless you're from Orillia, and you can't become an Honor- less? (ary? whatever) non-member by posting an application (and a limerick) to any "DON'T POST..." thread.

A tip: you need to post a real application to the non-clique, in order to possibly become a non-member.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: GUEST,LEJ
Date: 10 Jan 01 - 12:18 PM

Yes,I have accumulated quite a stack of these damned Inner Clique applications, so much so that I am no longer able to process them efficiently using my roscoe. I have been forced to resort to clamping the entire stack in a vise,drilling a quarter-inch hole which I then fill with some plastique explosive which I had been saving for the Revolution since 1969,and then igniting same.In addition to being quite speedy,this processing method has the side benefit of reducing the afore mentioned applications to fragments which fit quite neatly in a number 10 envelope for forwarding to Banjer.

Keep em coming,phoaks!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: Pete M'Gurk
Date: 10 Jan 01 - 12:00 PM

I was going to fill out the application, but decided to read all those messages following, and that triggered a flashback to the Dead concert my parents took me to in '67...

I'm so glad that being a member of the Inner Clique (whar ah come frum, we'all doan even bother to pronounciate it, we'all juss say "them snooty muthafu**ahs") has no more benefits (medical, dental, sexual) than being a member (or non-member) of the Non-Clique.

Has anyone seen my dental floss? The cat's got loose again.

M'Gurk

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: GUEST,Matt_R
Date: 10 Jan 01 - 11:44 AM

Don't forget about our SWAMP SONG Ward, for the musically biased! Come in, take a load off, and get wasted on Peter Weller's harmonica!

Also, the newly renovated Cherry Blossom Clinic has been created for flaming guests!!! Lock the door and throw the key away as "Dance Of They Sugar Plum Fairy" is piped through the speakers on an electric sitar...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: mousethief
Date: 10 Jan 01 - 11:37 AM

Three cheers to everybody who appreciated the humor, and a big Bronx Cheer to everybody who got his boxers in a knot over it. Life is short. Laugh a lot.

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: Naemanson
Date: 10 Jan 01 - 11:36 AM

Oh frabjous joy! Am I now a member of the inner clique? The thought takes my breath away! Either that or the smell of the returned application has taken my breath away.

What should I do with the awesome power that comes form being a member of the inner clique (rhymes with George).

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Café Inner Clique Application
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Jan 01 - 11:08 AM

First off all your applications must be sent to Skiff at the Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed for verification and checking on matters of accuracy and spelling. Since Skiff's job at the Center usually results in his being more of a patient than an administrator, the process takes no time at all as he simply crayons an approval on everyone.

Than the background check will be done by our resident private dick, Blake Madison. Blake buys all of his equipment at Radio Shack and all of it is maintained by Leej in the typical Radio Shack non-working order so he can't check jackshit and instead blows a hole in each app with his roscoe and sends them on. They are then forwarded to General Banjer for classification as he is the only 'Catter to have attained the 4 star rank of General F****P as well as holding a Medal of Honor for Actions Beyond Belief as an Incredible Dumbass. Banj has no class so he too forwards the info on right away.

All apps are slid through the Tavern Jello pit, whacked with a tiple, and Cleigh O'Possum marks each in his own inimitable style and passes them to katlaughing who says three incantations while her garden faeries whizz all over them.

What's left is sent on to the firm of Lane, Fielding, Patterson, and Swan, Layabouts_At-Large for final action. Since we never get started and never finish anything, anyone who has bothered to fill out an application is accepted as well as those who have only thought about it and also those who could care less.

Your Official Membership Secret Decoder Capo will be forwarded to you as soon as we come up with one and since we never encode any messages, this is not a high priority and we are too freakin' sorry to get on with it.

Welcome to the Inner Circle of Mudcat and all the dubious awards and honors and privileges which this status does not have are now yours.

Spaw