When is it time to leave a band?

Subject: RE: When is it time to leave a band?
From: Dead Horse
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 06:39 PM

That aint just true about christians, it covers the whole spectrum mate.
Guest JMC had it right.

Subject: RE: When is it time to leave a band?
From: labougie
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 05:48 PM

Never trust christians - there's ALWAYS a hidden agenda and they're NEVER the sweet reasonable souls they claim to be!

Subject: RE: When is it time to leave a band?
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 05:00 PM

You may find a lot of the pressure you are feeling comes from the religious perspective. Re-think it as if it were a hobby or business band, and forget the need to proselytise or do "God's work".

Try jamming with others or auditioning before you decide, too.

Subject: RE: When is it time to leave a band?
From: GUEST,jim
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 04:54 PM

I have left bands or taken a haitis*, always on good terms with the other members, for various reasons: different musical goals, different professional goals, health reasons, a better opportunity presents itself...

I've found that if I explain my reasons for leaving clearly, that it can be done quite easily. If you have an interest in playing, an opportunity will present itself.

I still get together and jam with members of groups I have left and with people who have left groups that I stayed in.

*Is that how you spell it? You know what I mean.

Subject: RE: When is it time to leave a band?
From: GUEST,JMC
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 04:35 PM

Leaving a band/having it break up is always difficult, but particularly so with the first one. I was given some very good advice last year (when my second one broke up), which is to develop yourself as a musician independently of whatever band you are in, and not put all your eggs in one basket. Go out and do solo stuff, work on side projects with other people, or other members of the band. That way, if it does come to the crunch you're not facing the total cessation of your life as a musician and it's less gutwrenching.

Admittedly I was given this advice by a musician who is terminally non-committal about projects.

Subject: RE: When is it time to leave a band?
From: Crane Driver
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 04:35 PM

There are two main reasons for playing in a band (or for doing most things, come to think of it) - either you really enjoy it, or you're being paid to do it. (Best of all is if you're doing both, I guess)

If you're not enjoying it, and not being paid enough to put up with it, and the people running it aren't going to listen to your problems with what's going on, get out.

I would guess that, if you're pissed off enough to raise the problem with strangers, you don't believe you can resolve the issues within the band, so the answer to your question has to be: NOW.

Good luck.
Andrew

Subject: RE: When is it time to leave a band?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 04:29 PM

I'd agree that usually when you seriously consider leaving a group, raising the issue with the group doesn't necessarily resolve it. Still, it might be worth trying, and if you've invested a lot of time and energy in this band, and you didn't try to communicate with the other members, you might regret that part of your decision.

Or if "the situation sucks", truly, then it's probably time to move on. You'll be better prepared to join or form a new group.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: When is it time to leave a band?
From: open mike
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 04:18 PM

pray

Subject: RE: When is it time to leave a band?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 04:08 PM

Please pardon my first reaction.

My husband and I have found that a band focusing on Christian music has as many warts as any other band, but also certain priorities and a set of tools at its disposal. (True of church life in general.)

These aspects may actually lead you in another direction entirely from the one you are considering. I have some experience with this if you want to talk privately.

~Susan

Subject: RE: When is it time to leave a band?
From: Scoville
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 04:01 PM

Sometimes it's just time to go. If you've given them a fair shot at compromise and it still seems like your (yours and the band's) interests are diverging . . . well, that's OK. I bailed a couple of years ago on a music club with whom I had been very involved for over ten years. They were becoming more and more of a "teacher" type organization with much less advanced-level jamming, and very dependent on a small but powerful faction of members. It wasn't what I wanted and I was bored, and resented that so few people continued to support the things that were the reason I had joined in the first place. A handful (literally. We're talking three people) split off and started a tiny jam of our own. It's hardly ideal but it's better and it saved us getting more and more frustrated and angry with the original club.

Obviously, I don't know what the issues are and it's not my place to ask, but I hope you can either resolve them or take your leave with a minimum of hard feelings.

Subject: RE: When is it time to leave a band?
From: Spot
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 03:56 PM

Hallo everybody...

          If you're thinking about it seriously enough to post here, then my feeling is - you need to go!! Dont waste time trying to resolve the unresolvable...or feeling guilty...!! Find another band or set one up yourself!!
Just my opinion, based on my experience...good luck!!

                   Regards to all.....Spot

Subject: RE: When is it time to leave a band?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 03:45 PM

LOL-- was afraid it was a member of ours asking!

See PM.

~Susan

Subject: RE: When is it time to leave a band?
From: MMario
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 03:38 PM

Have you presented your issues to the band as a group? Or given the nature of your music is there any chance of bringing in clergy (or someone else for that matter) as a mediator?

Subject: When is it time to leave a band?
From: nosluap57
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 03:33 PM

When is time to leave a band?

The situation sucks.

I've been invloved in a Christian rock band for three years, playing rhythm guitar. I have never been a band prior to this one, so I would guess that I am a rookie when it comes to dynamics and relationships within a band. I will not go into any details on what has been happening, but suffice it to say I am seriously considering leaving the group. I feel my reasons are legitimate, and that there is not a very good chance the underlying issues can be resolved.

So I am faced with a dilema, of sorts. Do I stay and try to find a way to mitigate those unresolved issues? Or would it be better to walk?

I am hoping for any insights or wisdom which can be shared with me which might shed light on things I have not considered.

hmmm, after reading this, sounds almost like a "Dear Abby" letter....