Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: beardedbruce Date: 26 May 04 - 02:07 PM Sonnet 18/05/01 DLI Shall I send her a poem, with passion's power, To tell of dreams, and hope? What might bring smile To lips, and twinkle to her eyes? What style Of verse might I use, to give muse her hour? How can I capture sunset in my words, And send it as a gift? Can the night breeze Be heard in my soft whispers? Shall I seize The full moon, to light smile? Might I tempt birds To follow her, and offer song? I hold No magic, to command the stars: I send But words, though I may seek to her heart bend. How can I hope by words to hope enfold? Half of my heart may be forever dead, Yet how can I leave emotion unsaid? |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: beardedbruce Date: 26 May 04 - 12:53 PM Ellenpoly: Searching for the proper reply.... |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: beardedbruce Date: 26 May 04 - 12:40 PM GUEST,Shlio: little/bitter and tunes/ruins are not the best of rhymes. Irregular line length, as well. But I like the 1st/last stanza progression. Not bad imagery at all. Perhaps you can work on the structure a little? |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: Ellenpoly Date: 26 May 04 - 11:18 AM Dear Beardedbruce, ......sigh..... ..xx..e |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: beardedbruce Date: 26 May 04 - 10:14 AM Well, if no-one else will... |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: Blackcatter Date: 25 May 04 - 08:48 PM I'll take the assist. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: beardedbruce Date: 25 May 04 - 05:07 PM I am going to go home now, and let someone else have post 100.... I could fill to it with sonnets, but I will take pity on you all. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: GUEST,Shlio Date: 25 May 04 - 05:03 PM Dreamin' I dreamed a castle in the sky With stained-glass windows and turrets high. Where rooms were all silver, and furniture gold, Filled with laughter from jesters and stories of old. Then I learned flesh is frail and all must die, That laughter is hard and too many cry, That gold must be toiled for but is often too little, And those who dreamt castles hide in homes and grow bitter. I still dream a castle in the sky With gaping windows and broken turrets high. Where rooms are bare and echo the tunes From a lonely soul among the ruins. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: beardedbruce Date: 25 May 04 - 01:47 PM I am afraid of that, too... |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: Amos Date: 25 May 04 - 01:38 PM Ah...thanks...I didn't think you really meant to imply that, but there's a certain je-ne-sais-quoi that makes me want to tease ya. Sorry. I am glad to hear that each of us need to deal with our own karma. I was afraid there was a judging panel out there somewhere!! *bg* A |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: beardedbruce Date: 25 May 04 - 01:04 PM Sorry if it came out that way. I did not mean to imply that. I have my own karmic burden to live with: EACH of us need to deal with our own. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: Amos Date: 25 May 04 - 12:57 PM BB: I will have to leave your karmic debt to you. Well sure...but there's no sense pretending it is some magnaminious choice on your part!! :>)) A |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: beardedbruce Date: 25 May 04 - 12:55 PM TRANSLATION A fire, extinquished. Only a pile of ashes remain, Where once a flame lived. You have, my friend, changed that enormous pine giver of summer-shade Into a mound of dust. It was so tall, higher than roof or tower; If I could fold it up it would not fit into the garret chest nor elsewhere. You see what now remains of that: this dust. I am so small, so thin: What dust remains after I die? |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: beardedbruce Date: 25 May 04 - 12:53 PM A second cousin, descended from the great: So common, jostled, jumbled in a crowd of others. A glimpse of light, and then isolation in the dark ( with others, but alone.). Again, a flash of light, and someone else. His despair deepens. At last, separated from the rest in a burst of flame, silent, but for a hiss of burnt desires, he dies. Such joy in death. The life of a match. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: beardedbruce Date: 25 May 04 - 12:51 PM Life is like a vintage wine in cask, Waiting to be opened, a pleasant task. And yet, if long has passed, it may have soured. "Life is like a cracker; step on it and it flours." |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: GUEST,amergin Date: 25 May 04 - 12:30 PM LOL @ Amos! |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: beardedbruce Date: 25 May 04 - 11:49 AM Amos: I will have to leave your karmic debt to you. Sturgeon's Revelation: 90% of everything is crud. This leaves 10%. BUT 90% of that 10% is crud. This leaves 1%. BUT 90% of that 1% is crud. ad infinitum... But to quote from Firesign Theater: "Why, this is a bag of shit! " "But it's really GREAT shit." |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: beardedbruce Date: 25 May 04 - 11:43 AM Ellenpoly: here you are... Sonnet 09/05/01 DXLVIII I read your words, and my dreams try to feel The coolness of soft silk, and warmth of skin: I would reach out, and with sweet kisses seal My heart, that I might heart's desire win. As soft, and subtle scented as a rose, But without thorns, you pull me to your soul. I touch, with lips and tongue, yet hope heart knows How much these dreams can of my hopes take toll. I reach to touch you, but words do not hold The softness of your lips, nor feel of hair. How can I taste skin, or let fingers fold With yours, when only written words we share? Would you, then, drive me crazy with desire When distance and some years prevent love's fire? |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: Amos Date: 25 May 04 - 11:41 AM Oh, no bb...don't you see? It's a karmic force! How can I escape it? Maybe by writing shallow poems in fine form until I have burned off my karmic debt. Obviously I have spent lifetimes committing sins against shlock, and must repay the Great Wheel for the error of resisting the inevitable, ineluctyable, overwhelming average of illusions. A |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: beardedbruce Date: 25 May 04 - 11:40 AM Sonnet 22/04/01 DXLI Perhaps I ask that you give, not my verse. But whispers, that my heart can turn, enfold Within my mind, and place on page: A terse Few words might feed my dreams and heart. As cold As lonely nights, the silence in my dreams Should have no place in Spring, but I can hear No soft words to show vision. Though time seems To pass, I live in Past, with no one near. I do not ask that you give heart, but share Some part of dreams, and desires: I might find The visions that I seek. You need not care, Though I might hope to know more of your mind. I search for muse: Are you the one I seek? Can I hope that your words will visions speak? |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: beardedbruce Date: 25 May 04 - 11:25 AM No-one MAKES you read this stuff.... We are all here by our own choice. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: Amos Date: 25 May 04 - 11:19 AM Ah, that explains a great deal, Amergin. Amazing what a little artful slander can do to a communication line. So now I understand, given that I am a fan of such stuff as McGonagall dreams up I have to live out the karma, even though it is based on fiction, by perusing shlock? Dear Gawd, maybe its even true!! :>)) A |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: Amergin Date: 25 May 04 - 09:56 AM Come on, amos...we know that you're a closet McGonagall fan.... |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: Amos Date: 25 May 04 - 09:53 AM Well, foine, boys, fill yourselves up and enjoy. I have seen lots of quantity, and it doesn't goose me worth a shit 90% of the time. So I had best butt out. I have seen two poems on this site by Lonesome EJ that are a whole lap beyond any others that have been posted. A |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: beardedbruce Date: 25 May 04 - 09:27 AM Amos: All true, BUT... Poets, much like songwriters, singers, and other performers, seek out an audience. There is feedback, which can help to improve the performer, and raise his/her skill level. If nothing else, the performer, by hearing others, can see what CAN be done. By your standards, much of the music I hear, at open sings, workshops, and getaways would be done privately, with no audience. I, for one would not want that. As for judging, I think I have expressed myself. I feel that CONSTRUCTIVE critism is worthwhile- my only concern is that some will use this forum to tear down without showing what might be built up. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: Blackcatter Date: 25 May 04 - 09:15 AM I'm not saying you're wrong Amos - because to some extent I agree, but note that if we were to eliminate the public judging of poetry (and by extrapolation, song lyrics) a great deal of what happens above the line here would be gone. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: Amos Date: 25 May 04 - 09:06 AM Well, and fine -- but why judge the thing at all, then? Structure is the silent skeleton, but the best structure does little to disguise or improve meretricious insight, over-dependance on clichés, or jejeune emotive content. In both these threads (this one and the earlier Poetry Corner) there has been plenty of all three, as well as havoc in form. Tell ya what -- I submit that coaching those who wish it would be a fine service, done privately. Public judging of amateur productions is a form of reciprocal sadism. A |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: beardedbruce Date: 25 May 04 - 08:51 AM onnet 10/03/02 DCLXVI The stars were hidden by clouds, and the rains Fell in an endless stream. Detail hidden By those curtains, the dark shadows deepen, Emptiness filling all, yet all remains. Mirrors in these pools lie shattered, and show No light, or image. Each drop scattered sight, Hiding even darkness in the wet night. From sky, to ground, to sea, the waters flow: A cycle, to reign over all. And down From heaven, to wash clean both air and stream.. The darkness still remains, as in some dream: How could I hope that night would sorrows drown? The sun peeked out, and rainbow formed with day, The water flowing rapidly away. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: beardedbruce Date: 25 May 04 - 08:47 AM Sonnet 24/01/03 DCCLXXXII I weep, but my tears freeze: I hear them break, Shattered to dust. What can I do, to mourn All I have lost? Ashes and sackcloth make Small change in my attire, and all is torn. What flowers might I bring, to past dream's grave? It does not matter: Just clay is at hand. All blows away- I cannot even save Memories from chill wind, nor frost withstand. Winter has truly come: My heart feels chill, Beyond the touch of fire. Hope has no place Of refuge, nor can desires linger still: Only despair alone can season face. Numb with the cold, fingers struggle to write: In truth, the color of death may be white. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: beardedbruce Date: 25 May 04 - 08:46 AM Sonnet 30/01/03 DCCLXXXIV Hope lost, and vision blind, I seek for end To my desire. Why do I dream, in dark And silence? I don't know reason to send All to this absence, where soul leaves no mark. I long for past, when words would have smile earned, Though memories offer dust: How can I think That I would rest, to have her feelings learned? What hope had I to ever two hearts link? I fear this future, without touch or sight, Too cold to allow rest. I'll not regret Past hopes, though perhaps know I have no right To dream illusions real, when we've not met. Yet, though I cannot dreams, nor feelings, share, Soul smiles, knowing that heart will always care. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: beardedbruce Date: 25 May 04 - 08:38 AM sorry, hit return before proofing... I will attempt to only make comments on their poetic structure, not on the content. Any judgements will be on how well you say something, not what you say. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: beardedbruce Date: 25 May 04 - 08:33 AM dianavan: ALL poems are acceptable. I will attempt to only make comments on their poetic structure, not comment. A good critic does not have to agree with the content of a poem to like it, and see where it works. I have posted some sonnets with content that I am sure that people do not agree with. That is fine: I ask only that verse be judged by its quality, not by opinions of content. As for Tang, if he has heart-felt feelings about fleas, he should write about them. Poetry should reflect the thoughts, desires, and dreams of the poet.... Sonnet 24/01/02 DCL A sonnet is a frozen tear, a kiss, Preserved in fourteen lines. It is a pearl Of layered thought, a gem too bright to miss When set on page: One blossom, to unfurl To perfect flower. As amber, sealed soul In timeless tomb, it can show time long past, Or hold this instant in it's grasp. The whole Of heart upon one single page, to last Beyond even our dreams, it seems a sip, Distilled to essence. Refined within mind, Lines sing sweet song, and rhymes in patterns slip, To weave image that leaves mere vision blind. A single chord, to resound in one's heart: Echo of past that might our future start. Each form has it's own focus- but poetry is something expressed in the best way that the poet can find within him/herself. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: beardedbruce Date: 25 May 04 - 08:19 AM Metchosin: I agree. Tang : You have that form pretty much under control- but can you write any other? GUEST : "Date: 24 May 04 - 07:45 PM Roses are red Violets are blue Harlowpoet Is better than any of you: PLEASE! |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: beardedbruce Date: 25 May 04 - 08:06 AM Thanks. Not sure I would be a good PL, as I write when the Muse strikes me. Might be hard for me to fulfill the duties of writing, say, a verse to MOAB. NOT that it is not worthy of verse, just that I would not be inspired. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: Ellenpoly Date: 25 May 04 - 04:04 AM "I wish I was your seatbelt"... Beardedbruce, I adored this one! Then again, I have a better sense of humour than a sense of great poetry, I'm afraid. Still rootin' for ya..xx..e |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: Blackcatter Date: 25 May 04 - 02:23 AM A bloomin' orangutan? |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: Amergin Date: 25 May 04 - 01:51 AM Especially with such talents as Tang the Orangutan in full bloom. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: Metchosin Date: 25 May 04 - 01:50 AM yes, it is. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: Blackcatter Date: 25 May 04 - 01:45 AM Metchosin, Fair enough - My intention was to do some exploring and I chose the title to the thread. I am fully aware that: 1) I could be wrong. 2) I'm probably wrong. 3) People will tell my i'm wrong. 4) They could be wrong. 5) The Mudcat community will decide what's wrong and right. 6) Whether I'm right or wrong - at least there's more poetry on the Mudcat today than yesterday and that's a GOOD THING! |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: GUEST,tang the orangutan Date: 25 May 04 - 01:27 AM Ode To Lice White and brown Crawling on many legs In the reddish brown jungle Of my body hair Communing with the fleas Creating itches everywhere Food for my empty belly You crawl around me Hiding amongst the mats Of my soft long hair Sucking my blood Feeding your young As I hunt for you To eat you A vicious circle. TTO |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: Metchosin Date: 25 May 04 - 01:15 AM my apologies for being a bit harsh, but lately my exasperation over a lot of things in this world is sometimes hard to contain. It seems a shame to me that some gems from the tenderist of egos would not see the light of day if poetry was to be viewed as a contest. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: Amos Date: 25 May 04 - 12:49 AM Smartly put, Mets. Making a poetry contest is an interesting but self-contradictory impulse. I.e., true poetry does not contest, and that which contests is surely one step short of true poetry. A |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: Metchosin Date: 25 May 04 - 12:38 AM As a Canadian Inuit poet explained to the Danish explorer Rasmussen over a hundred years ago, "Songs are thoughts, sung out when people are moved by great forces, and ordinary speech no longer suffices". And so it is for good poetry, that which "begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness" and is written for human - not academic - consumption. It is a rare talent that can make the subject "glow like coloured glass in a black and white world", as was Al Purdy's stated aim. copyright: Rosella Melanson, First published in the New Brunswick Telegraph Journal April 2001. That said: Why the hell should poetry be turned into some sort of contest? Seems to me some people could turn taking a shit into a competition....good grief! |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: dianavan Date: 25 May 04 - 12:22 AM Do you accept angry poems with a political statement? Something tells me if I want to be a winner, I have to write about love or nature or something beautiful. I'm looking through some of my old stuff to see if there is anything appropriate for this thread. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: Jack the Sailor Date: 25 May 04 - 12:07 AM A Mudcat Poet Laureate? Cause he talks about the fleas he e't I like his poems a lot but I think... not |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: Thomas the Rhymer Date: 24 May 04 - 11:45 PM All who have posted here in prose or in verse Are winners by virtue of talents disclosed But please do not choose of a better nor worse Appreciate each as a vision reposed On a cloud o'er a patchwork of fences high That keep out the kept out for reasonings dim But clouds suspend skylines with horizons to try All you who see new lands I wait for your whim Eager am I to delight in subjectives Confusing them not with tyrant's objectives ttr |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: Amergin Date: 24 May 04 - 11:33 PM I think it should be Tang the Orangutan...pure genius to write about such things like eating lice and fleas... |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: Ebbie Date: 24 May 04 - 10:49 PM 'crazy glue sieve'- Marvelous! |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: Jack the Sailor Date: 24 May 04 - 10:29 PM Mudcat's Best Poet Contest Quality in poems can be so elusive Some are succinct and some effusive Adjudication would be inconclusive And the losers may become abusive Pardon me if I seem intrusive The idea is as practical as a Crazy Glue sieve |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat's Best Poet Contest From: Blackcatter Date: 24 May 04 - 08:32 PM I didn't know exactly why I started this thread but I left if for 7 ours and we've had 54 posts and tons of poetry. That's a good enough reason for me. Like much of what I do - the thread is an exploration and an experimentation - I chose the title to be provocative, considering I was think of the topic of it being a search for a poet laureate - a concept that may have little to do with the "best" poet or poetry. Like those laureats of the U.S. and England - the Laureat of the Mudcat may be called upon to compose works for official occasions So while you keep the poetry coming how about a discussion of what a poet laureate is or means. |