Humorous male/female duets (songs)

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets (songs)
From: GUEST,Some bloke
Date: 05 Feb 18 - 02:59 AM

An old girlfriend and I used to sing a duet based on The Two Magicians. I had to "living tradition" the words slightly to give her the posessive speke but everybody found it funny.

These days, if you didn't have the historical song excuse, its puttimg a rapist and victim on equal footing I suppose.......

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets (songs)
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 03 Feb 18 - 07:31 AM

our moment of greatness


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XC80J2IZCQQ

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets (songs)
From: Joe_F
Date: 02 Feb 18 - 06:28 PM

Noch a gleyzele te

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets (songs)
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 02 Feb 18 - 08:16 AM

'What Shall I WEar for the Wedding John' among the best English ones in my opinion - nice American version too, 'The Mountaineer's Courtship'
We got a nice Irish story version based around 'The Burren' in North Clare
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets (songs)
From: GUEST,henryp
Date: 02 Feb 18 - 06:47 AM

Also see the thread;

'Conversation' songs

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets (songs)
From: GUEST,Robin
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 08:25 PM

HOLE IN MY BUCKET

Subject: Lyr Add: ONE MORE DANCE / NOCH EINEN TANZ
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 12:41 PM

Here's a complete version of the song Bernard posted on 23-Aug-2003, and which John Hindsill and Sheila mentioned also:


ONE MORE DANCE
Written by C. C. Carter
As recorded by Miriam Makeba, with Charles Colman, on "Miriam Makeba" (1960).

[CC] Darling, go home; your husband is ill.
[MM] Is he ill? Let them give him a pill.
Oh, come, my dear Franz; just one more dance.
Then I'll go home to my poor old man.
Then I'll go home to my poor old man.*

[CC] Darling, go home; your husband is worse.
[MM] Is he worse? Well, I am no nurse.
Oh, come, my dear Franz; just one more dance.
Then I'll go home to my poor old man.
Then I'll go home to my poor old man.*

[CC] Darling, go home; your husband is dead.
[MM] Is he dead? There's no more to be said.
Oh, come, my dear Franz; just one more dance.
Then I'll go home to my poor old man.
Then I'll go home to my poor old man.*

[CC] Darling, go home; the will's to be read.
[MM] What's that you said? [CC] I said the will's to be read.
[MM] Oh, no, no, my dear Franz; this is no time to dance.
I must go weep for my poor old man.
I must go weep for my poor old man.*

- - -
* On this line, the man harmonizes: "Then she'll go home to her poor old man," or, on the last verse: "Then she'll go weep for her poor old man."

Also recorded by Harry Belafonte and Miriam Makeba on "Belafonte Returns to Carnegie Hall (Live)" (1993).

A review at AllMusic.com referred to this as an "Austrian song." Using this clue, I found a German-language version called NOCH EINEN TANZ, performed by Esther & Abi Ofarim on their album "The Very Best Of" (2012); by Angels Blue on "Wenn die Sonne hinter den Dächern versinkt..."; and by Bea Nyga on "Bea Nyga" (2011). These are available on Spotify, but I am unable to transcribe them, being illiterate in German.

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: GUEST,Phil d'Conch
Date: 26 Jun 17 - 03:07 PM

JACKSON

"We got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout..."
(Wheeler/Leiber, 1967)

Cash-Carter won a Grammy with it...

"'Jackson' came to me when I read the script for Edward Albee's Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf (I was too broke to see the play on Broadway)...When I played it for Jerry [Leiber], he said 'Your first verses suck,' or words to that effect. 'Throw them away and start the song with your last verse, "We got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout."' When I protested to Jerry that I couldn't start the song with the climax, he said, 'Oh, yes you can.' So I rewrote the song and thanks to Jerry's editing and help, it worked. I recorded the song on my first Kapp Records album, with Joan Sommer, an old friend from Berea, Kentucky, singing the woman's part. Johnny Cash learned the song from that album, A New Bag of Songs, produced by Jerry and Mike"

Billy Ed Wheeler
(from the song wiki)

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: JMB
Date: 26 Jun 17 - 01:31 PM

Come My Dear Franz as mentioned above. I know it as "Betsy Go Home" as it is sung in Nova Scotia by John Allan Cameron. It is humourous. I found it listed as a traditional German folk song.

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: GUEST,Gerry
Date: 24 Jun 17 - 12:59 AM

There's Sarah Jackman, a duet written by Allan Sherman.

Also, Doyle & Debbie, When You're Screwing Other Women (Think of Me), https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKjzolqJwgY

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: RoyH (Burl)
Date: 11 Sep 11 - 08:02 AM

I remember hearing a song which had the woman singing questions to the man and being given short, laconic, answers. I think the first lines were - 'Where are you going, my good old man?

Where are you going, my honey, my lamb?

'Huntin

And so on in the same vein up until the last verse where she says he'll die. He answers 'Don't care if I do', or something like that.

I can't remember who the singers were but it was definitely a male/female dialogue song, and it was funny. Anyone know any more about this? Burl.

[See MY GOOD OLD MAN]

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: Max Johnson
Date: 11 Sep 11 - 07:45 AM

Does anyone remember The Norman Chop Trio? They were a m/f duo working in London in the mid '70s. Very funny act.

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: Jim McLean
Date: 11 Sep 11 - 07:36 AM

Get up and bar the Door: Herd, David (1732-1810): Ancient and modern Scottish songs, heroic ballads etc.
A very humourous song about a battle of wills between a man and his wife (or a woman and her husband!)

[See BARRING OF THE DOOR]

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Sep 11 - 02:19 AM

Here are my parents, who were folksingers back then, in a film shot in 1966 doing Dear Old BUFFALO BOY. This song is a scream if acted properly. My parents have this one down pat. The words and tune are right here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_S9yncFFnDk

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 02 Oct 10 - 07:59 AM

I suppose you could both dress up as women and do this little sketch

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x9v6xf_the-two-ronnies-cleaning-ladies-son_fun

Subject: Lyr Add: YOU'RE THE REASON OUR KIDS ARE UGLY
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 02 Oct 10 - 04:05 AM

A Lovin' C/W song as done by Conway Twitty & Loretta Lynn.

LORETTA LYNN AND CONWAY TWITTY lyrics -
You're The Reason Our Kids Are Ugly

You're the reason I'm a-ridin' 'round on recapped tyres.
An' you're the reason I'm hangin' our clothes outside on walls.
An' you're the reason our kids are ugly little darlins'.
Ah but looks ain't everything,
And money ain't everything.
But' I love you just the same.

You're the reason I changed to beer from soda pop.
An' you're the reason I never get to go to the beauty shop.
You're the reason our kids are ugly little darlins'.
Oh, but looks ain't everything,
And money ain't everything.
But' I love you just the same.

I guess that we won't ever have, everything we need.
'Cause when we get ahead, it's got another mouth to feed.

And that's the reason my good looks and my figure's gone.
And that's the reason I ain't got no hair to comb.
An' you're the reason our kids are ugly little darlins'.
Ah but looks ain't everything,
And money ain't everything.
But' I love you just the same.

Conway, why in the devil don't you gon and shave an' put on a clean pair of pants?

Loretta, look at yourself.
I wish you'd take them curlers out of your hair an' go put on a little bit of make up.
An' get out of the housecoat before supper.

Ha! Well let me tell you somethin', Conway.
Considerin' everything I went through today, I look like a movie star.

Yeah, Ruth Cassidy!

Thank you.

Besides that, all of our kids took after your part of our family anyway.

Oh they did, huh? What about the one's that's bald?

Well, I guess you might say they took after me.


I'd rather have put up a video clip, 'cause the performance I've seen is a lot prettier than the bare words; but my quick look search didn't find a good one.

John

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: oldhippie
Date: 01 Oct 10 - 08:59 PM

Steve Gilette & Cindy Mangson - "Good Enough For Now".

Subject: Lyr Add: ROMEO AND JULIET (Yale glee)
From: Haruo
Date: 01 Oct 10 - 02:24 PM

The following is the text of "Romeo and Juliet" (see post by cetmst of 15 Oct 2004, supra) as published in Thomas G. Shepard's 1893 Yale Glees:

Text: sine adtributione
Tune: simple MIDI / fancier MIDI (contemplator.com)

Solo throughout:
Come now and listen to my tale of woe,
Of Romeo and Juliet,
Cribbed out of Shakespeare and reeking with woe,
Oh Romeo and Juliet;
Never was story so mournful as that one,
If you have tears now prepare to get at one.
Romeo's the thin one and Juliet's the fat one.
Oh Romeo and Juliet.

I am the hero of this little tale,
I'm Romeo, I'm Romeo.
I am that very susceptible male,
I'm Romeo, Romeo
Ne'er did a lover dare do as I did,
When his best girl to eternity slided,
I took cold poison and I suicided,
I'm Romeo, Romeo.

I am the heroine of this tale of woe,
I'm Juliet, I'm Juliet,
I am the lady who "mashed" Romeo,
I'm Juliet, Juliet.
Locked in the prison no pickaxe to force it,
Nasty old hole, scarce room to stand or sit,
I up and stabbed myself right through the corset,
I'm Juliet, Juliet.

This of my tale is the short and the long
Of Romeo and Juliet,
This is the moral of my little song,
Of Romeo and Juliet;
Lovers, I warn you, always be wary,
Don't buy your drinks of an apothecary,
Don't stab yourself in the left pulmonary,
Like Romeo and Juliet.

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 24 Jul 10 - 11:28 AM

For a short one, there's Les Barker's "There's a Hole in my Bodhran"

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: GUEST,erbert
Date: 24 Jul 10 - 11:14 AM

Candice Marie & Keith   1976

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTup9yo6T9M&feature=related

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: Rob Naylor
Date: 24 Jul 10 - 10:55 AM

This one from Flossie Malavialle and Keith Donnelly always creases me up:

Keith and Flossie

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 24 Jul 10 - 09:24 AM

The Duke of Athol (AKA HUNTINGTOWER): it's in the DT as DUKE OF ATHOL.
And "THE SHEPHERD'S WIFE".

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: beeliner
Date: 24 Jul 10 - 08:58 AM

Jack Blanchard and Misty Morgan's "TENNESSEE BIRD WALK" is not a dialogue, but it certainly qualifies as a humorous M/F duet.

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 24 Jul 10 - 08:44 AM

You could do lots of straight songs humorously like Jonathan and Darlene Edwards.

Paris in the Spring

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 24 Jul 10 - 08:31 AM

I'm sure this 'Goodbye' song could be adapted......

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: TenorTwo
Date: 14 Sep 09 - 04:44 AM

And no one yet has suggested "COME WRITE ME DOWN" - huge opportunities for ostentatious over-acting!

T2

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: Will Fly
Date: 14 Sep 09 - 04:15 AM

Oh well - let's not forget Norman Wisdom and Joyce Grenfell doing "NARCISSUS"...

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: Artful Codger
Date: 14 Sep 09 - 03:05 AM

"TELL ME PRETTY MAIDEN" (are there any more at home like you)--from "Floradora", 1900. Actually a male/female octet, but who's counting?

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: Genie
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 02:43 PM

This one's really silly:

Jack Blanchard and Misty Morgan: Tennessee Bird Walk (YouTube) (lyrics)

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: GUEST,Murray on Saltpring
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 01:54 PM

What about "SOLDIER, SOLDIER, won't you marry me?" - rather like BUFFALO BOY above, the last verse says he's a wife and children at home. - It was arranged very nicely by Benjamin Britten of all people.

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: pasher
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 02:02 AM

Video of Grant Baynham and Hilary Spencer doing Victoria Wood's LET'S DO IT -

http://c1.gigmemories.com/Grant_Baynham_and_Hilary_Spencer_18Jul09/

Hilarious, especially when she briefly forgets the words

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: MissouriMud
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 11:27 PM

HIT THE ROAD, JACK works nicely as a duet with some hamming

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Sep 09 - 08:54 AM

"this is our song" from spamalot! WOULD BE AMAZING

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 09:52 AM

I second the motion for John Prine's IN SPITE OF OURSELVES which leaves the 20 to 30 crowd rolling on the floor.

A

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: GUEST,Sidewinder
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 07:51 AM

Try "Speedy Gonzalez" with partner singing the high "lala la la la la la la la la lah" part.I've seen it done before and it was quite amusing. Rene and Renatas' "Save Your Love" could be a winner also and maybe Andy Williams and Denise Van Outens version of "Can't Take My Eyes Off You" -it made me laugh.

Best Wishes.

Sidewinder.

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From:
Date: 19 Jan 05 - 07:07 PM

have you got the lyrics for this song if so could you please send them
many thanks jez

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: GUEST,Joe_F
Date: 14 Jan 05 - 02:39 PM

There is a Yiddish song by M. Gebirtig called "NOCH A GLEZELE TEY" (another little cup of tea) in which husband & wife are arguing over what to name the baby. In the end, the wife says, why argue? it might be twins. I'm not sure if a singable translation exists.

--- Joe Fineman    [e-mail]

||: Sometimes I don't know where my last meal is going to. :||

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: Big Jim from Jackson
Date: 14 Jan 05 - 01:49 PM

Small Potatoes have several very funny song for duet. One is "They're Not Normal Like Us" and another that they haven't recorded yet about a family with the last name "Knott". Both are absolute screams!
Small Potatoes is an absolutely super duo. Their wit and musicianship just can't be matched. If you've not heard them, get their CD's. If you've not seen them, drive many miles to see them. They are going to be in St. Louis at Focal Point on March 11th. I will drive the 130 miles to see them.

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 14 Jan 05 - 01:30 PM

I seem to remember 'BARNACLE BILL THE SAILOR' being done as a duet by Bix Beiderbecke, and Joe Venuti, those are big shoes to step in.
Giok

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: GUEST,Sheila
Date: 14 Jan 05 - 12:53 PM

"ONE MORE DANCE" was recorded by Harry Belafonte and Miriam Makeba.

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: GUEST,Al
Date: 15 Oct 04 - 10:48 PM

Small Potatoes (mentioned previously) web site is here You can download (Real Audio) "The Waltz of the Wallflowers".
Spuds also perform Flanders and Swann's "Said the left-handed honeysuckle to the right-handed bindweed". [MISALLIANCE]
Highly recommended duo for your folk club itinerary.

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: JennieG
Date: 15 Oct 04 - 07:16 PM

Further to Bernard's posting above - there is another verse I remember:

He:
Darling go home, the will's to be read,
She:
What's that you said?
He:
I said the will's to be read!

She:
Oh no my dear Franz,
This is no time to dance,
I must go home to my poor old man,
I must go home to my poor old man!

The duo Nina and Frederik rings a bell for this one, it was the sort of thing they did.

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: Folkiedave
Date: 15 Oct 04 - 05:09 PM

Peggy Seeger does "BUFFALO BOY" as part of her current set - with the audience divided up into male and female halves.

Best regards,

Dave Eyre

Subject: Lyr Add: ROMEO AND JULIET (tune 'Long Long Ago')
From: cetmst
Date: 15 Oct 04 - 07:00 AM

My wife taught me this before we were married 52 years ago, finally found a slightly different printed version in "Paradology" compiled by E.O. Harbin, 1928.

Romeo and Juliet
Tune: Long, Long Ago

Duet:
Come now and listen to our tale of woe,
Of Juliet and Romeo.
Right out of Shakespeare, it's something you know,
Of Juliet and Romeo.
Ne'er was a story so mournful as that one -
If you've a tear now prepare to get at one.
Romeo's the thin one and Juliet's the fat one.
O Romeo, O Juliet.

He:
I am the hero of this little tale,
I'm Romeo, I'm Romeo.
I am the highly susceptible male,
I'm Romeo, I'm Romeo
Never did lover dare do as I did;
When my best girl to eternity slided,
I took cold poison and I suicided.
I'm Romeo, I'm Romeo.

She:
I am the heroine of this tale of woe,
I'm Juliet, I'm Juliet.
I am the lady who won Romeo,
I'm Juliet, I'm Juliet.
Locked in the prison, no pickax to force it,
Nasty old hole, scarce room to stand or sit,
I stabbed myself right through the corset,
I'm Juliet, I'm Juliet.

Duet:
This of our tale is the short and the long,
Of Romeo and Juliet.
This is the moral of our little song,
Of Romeo and Juliet.
Lovers we warn you, always be wary,
Don't buy your drinks of an apothecary,
Don't stab yourself in the left pulmonary,
Like Romeo and Juliet.

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: Turlough
Date: 11 Oct 04 - 05:15 AM

Sigh... I should learn to check the DT and Forum before I say that I don't have the lyrics! It's here in the forum.

T.

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: Turlough
Date: 11 Oct 04 - 05:07 AM

Alan Reid and Karine Polwart wrote a great song called "WHAUR WILL WE GANG?" (not the same as Andy Mitchell's song with the same title). It's on the Battlefield Band's "Happy Daze" album. Unfortunately, I don't have the lyrics, but it's a very funny song!

T.

Subject: Lyr Add: THE SHEPHERD LAD
From: gigix
Date: 11 Oct 04 - 04:24 AM

I used to sing this one. Probably awfully transcribed, and I am sure I miss one verse at the end. The duet is the final part. If you play in a band, a jig fits nicely after the song.


THE SHEPHERD LAD

There was a bonnie shepherd lad
kept sheep on yonder hill
he fell in love with Logie's daughter
and he vowed to take his will
Singing hi-ho the morning dew, hi-ho the rose and rue
follow me my bonnie lass, for I'll not follow you

He laid her on the grassy bank
the lassie for to please
but aye she sighed and sweetly cried,
but wouldn't part her knees
                  Singing hi-ho ......

Now be easy easy with me, sir
and you shall have your will
when we're laiden in the bothy
at the back of yonder hill
                   Singing hi-ho .....

But she sneaked and barred the bothy door
and merrily did shout
now I'm a maiden here within
and you're a fool without
                   Singing hi-ho .....

And mae father bought at great expense
a grand high-stepping mare
but when he put her to a fence
she backed and backed away
                   Singing hi-ho .....

You're like a cock my father had
it crowed and waved his tail
and ne'er a hen trod in the yard
I think you're just the same
                     Singing hi-ho .....

And my mother fecked a likely hen
on last St. Martin's day
she clacked and clacked and clacked again
but still she never lay
                        Singing hi-ho .....

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: Flash Company
Date: 10 Oct 04 - 10:23 AM

I recall Bob Morton and Ken Greenhalgh doing this routine to the 'Dear Old BUFFALO BOY' lyric, also a song called 'DROYLSDEN WAKES' although I can't recall any of the lyrics of that one.
Anybody know it?

FC

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Oct 04 - 04:26 AM

The 'Come my dear Franz' song was Nina and Frederik.
Giok

Subject: RE: Humorous male/female duets
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 09 Oct 04 - 10:18 PM

'BRUSH UP YOUR SHAKESPEARE' from "Kiss Me Kate", while not exactly originally a male/female duet might be adapted. It is a very clever comic song.

Thanks for the PDQ info John

Robin