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BS: Shape up you women...right now!

Noreen 23 Jan 03 - 06:05 PM
Bobert 23 Jan 03 - 05:59 PM
Jeri 23 Jan 03 - 05:59 PM
Noreen 23 Jan 03 - 05:52 PM
JenEllen 23 Jan 03 - 03:58 PM
JenEllen 23 Jan 03 - 03:39 PM
Rick Fielding 23 Jan 03 - 03:23 PM
*daylia* 23 Jan 03 - 03:14 PM
Bill D 23 Jan 03 - 03:13 PM
*daylia* 23 Jan 03 - 02:56 PM
Bobert 23 Jan 03 - 02:39 PM
CarolC 23 Jan 03 - 02:06 PM
GUEST,Dr. Philomena 23 Jan 03 - 02:06 PM
Bobert 23 Jan 03 - 02:02 PM
GUEST 23 Jan 03 - 01:45 PM
JenEllen 23 Jan 03 - 01:41 PM
annamill 23 Jan 03 - 12:58 PM
GUEST 23 Jan 03 - 12:44 PM
*daylia* 23 Jan 03 - 12:43 PM
CarolC 23 Jan 03 - 12:40 PM
GUEST 23 Jan 03 - 12:38 PM
CarolC 23 Jan 03 - 12:34 PM
CarolC 23 Jan 03 - 12:32 PM
GUEST 23 Jan 03 - 12:31 PM
CarolC 23 Jan 03 - 12:28 PM
catspaw49 23 Jan 03 - 12:28 PM
CarolC 23 Jan 03 - 12:27 PM
NicoleC 23 Jan 03 - 12:24 PM
catspaw49 23 Jan 03 - 12:22 PM
katlaughing 23 Jan 03 - 12:14 PM
*daylia* 23 Jan 03 - 11:58 AM
Rick Fielding 23 Jan 03 - 11:51 AM
catspaw49 23 Jan 03 - 11:49 AM
*daylia* 23 Jan 03 - 11:49 AM
GUEST,bbc at work 23 Jan 03 - 11:45 AM
mmm1a 23 Jan 03 - 11:45 AM
Rick Fielding 23 Jan 03 - 11:37 AM
GUEST 23 Jan 03 - 11:35 AM
Steve Latimer 23 Jan 03 - 11:34 AM
*daylia* 23 Jan 03 - 11:32 AM
GUEST 23 Jan 03 - 11:27 AM
Rick Fielding 23 Jan 03 - 11:25 AM
Rick Fielding 23 Jan 03 - 11:22 AM
Rick Fielding 23 Jan 03 - 11:10 AM

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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: Noreen
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 06:05 PM

*grin* Lat me know the outcome, Bobert....


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: Bobert
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 05:59 PM

Noreen:

I had to get an ink cartridge the other day, so I went to Office Depot and getting back to where the cartridges are I walked down an entire isle of paper shreaders.

Hey, did you know you can get 'em fir as little as 39 bucks? Whew! Well, I almost bought one but then this voice went off in my head; "Are you crazy, Bobert?"

But, heck, I'm home now and the pudder is the middle of my wife's office and I just did a 360 and went like "Wow, this is unbelievable!"

Wonder what time Office Depot closes?

Bobert


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: Jeri
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 05:59 PM

Well Rick, some anonymous person posted this in "The Good Wife's Guide" thread. Weird coincidence?


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: Noreen
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 05:52 PM

Hey Bobert, that sounds like MY house too! (And MY piles- and it bugs me too....) If there's an answer, I'd be delighted to hear it.


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: JenEllen
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 03:58 PM

Apologies, that was supposed to be a joke. These gals are Stepford Wives and I'm more Harper Valley PTA, ya know? They obvioulsy took this very seriously, and all I could think after reading Rick's post was:
His name was Catspaw
He was a showgirl
Yellow feather in his hair
An' saran wrap down to there
He did the dishes
An' walked the weimies
While Karen worked out in the lab
Catspaw tried to be a dad
Juggling the kids and home
He did it all alone
Then one day he grabbed some 'glad wrap' an' when she--got--home--
It was Catspaw, Catspaw Cabana....


shoot me now...


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: JenEllen
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 03:39 PM

Yeah, I like saran wrap as much as the next gal, but there has to be a limit. I just wonder if it goes both ways? Would Karen want a divorce if Spaw came to the door as a showgirl, or would it be 'just another day at the office'? *bg*


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 03:23 PM

If Heather dresses up like a pirate, I wanna divorce!

I've read Treasure Island!

Yeah, it was that Marabel Morgan (I confused her with Phyllis Schlafffffllllly). She was the "saranwrap" gal.

Rick


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: *daylia*
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 03:14 PM

Bobert, your wife works only three days a week? :-O I sure hope Whoever made you didn't break that winning mould! I earned 100% if the income, worked (for money) 6 days a week for at least half of my 'parenting' days ... poor me, poor me ... ;-)

Yeah, the cost of love sure 'piles' up sometimes, eh? But the prize is priceless ...

daylia


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: Bill D
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 03:13 PM

can't comment....MY wife reads these threads....and she can type much faster than I and might have much to say.


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: *daylia*
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 02:56 PM

Nicole I was in high school in the 70's too, but I never took HomeEc! So that's how I missed out on the proper instruction, hence never quite 'making the grade' at the wife thing!!

Ah, those extra music courses were a real bonus after all!

:-)   daylia


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: Bobert
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 02:39 PM

You name it, CarolC, and it's in one or another ot another or another. Heck, danged if I know but most every one of 'em contains most of the following: old grocery shopping lists, music, bank deposit tickets, coupons for dog food, folders with recipes, old banana peels, bills, letters, catalogs with stuff circled, music books, rubber bands, a gardening book and something clipped out of a 1973 newspaper. Yep, those are the *staples* that are pretty much common to them all.

Throw in an occasioanl bedroom slipper, a dog coller, a saucer with flowers on it, a hair brush, a box of Jumbo paperclips, a jar of dill pickles (unopened), a half a dozen old "InTouch" maginzines or any amgazine for that matter, a package of crakers, a dog's lecense tag, etc., etc. and these things make the piles individualistic.

Now, I don't want nayone to think I don't love my wife 'cause I love her to pieces. But if ya don't see me fir a week or two, send the depilers in to find me...

Bobert


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: CarolC
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 02:06 PM

Hey Bobert! What's she got in those piles, anyway?


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: GUEST,Dr. Philomena
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 02:06 PM

A butt engulfed in piles? Dang Bobert, you have our sympathy!


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: Bobert
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 02:02 PM

Well, heck, I reckon this is as close to the kind of thread that I can gripe about my wife on as any.

Dear Dr. Phil: Let me tell you about my wife! Okay, I'm the breadwinner, fir the most part since I earn 80% of the income and my wife teaches music privately and makes up the other 20%. I also work 6 days a week and she works for about 8 hours a week over three days.

Now when I come home from work opn those three nights I cooks the dinner, I serve the dinner, I wash the dishes as I do every night. Then the wife gives me a honey-due list and yells at me if I get on the pudder for more than an hour.

But that ain't what bugs me. The wife thinks the horizontal filing is superior to verticle filing and therefore the entire house is covered in piles and piles of, ahhhh, danged if I know. I like to keep my stuff in verticle files and in a cabinet. Then the wife complains that the house ain't big enough for her files. Heck, Alabame wouldn't be big enough for her files.

So I figured, being the smart person that I used to think I was, that I would just join in and adopt the verticle filing system myself to see what would happen. Well, danged> I gets accused of messin' up the joint?!?!

So everyday, she goes off into the world with her pile dajour and sets it down in the front seat of her car and by the time she gets to where ever she is going the pile de jour is all over the place. So I bought her a real nice brief case a year ago for Christmas. Paid close to $150 for it. Well, Dr. Phil, where do ya' think that danged thing is now? I'll tell ya. It's in the closet and has never been used. That's where it is...

I need help!

Okay, I mighta creeped a tad here but the thread title is "Shape up you Women... Right Now" so I figgured this might be my last shot to ask for help before my sorry and boney Wes Ginny butt get's engulfed in piles...

Bobert


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 01:45 PM

Anyone seen "Far From Heaven" or "The Hours" yet? Both seem to touch on this subject.


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: JenEllen
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 01:41 PM

One of the few possessions I have of my mother's is a book by Marabel Morgan entitled: "The Total Woman"--a #1 bestseller in the early 70's on "How to make your marriage come alive!" I read it when I need a good laugh.

What a sad twist on feminity and woman's rights (Simone de Beauvoir she ain't) when a person can sell:
"I do believe it is possible," says Marabel Morgan, "for almost any wife to have her husband absolutely adore her in just a few weeks time. She can revive romance, reestablish communication, break down barriers, and put sizzle back into her marriage. It is really up to her. She has the POWER."

With such discussions as "Rebuilding the Partial Man": "I feel guilty using my feminine wiles on my husband. It seems dishonest. Anyway, his ego is so big, it doesn't need expanding."

to my personal favourite:
HAPPY HOMECOMING!
Take a few extra moments for that bubble bath tonight....Remove all prickly hairs and be squeakiy clean from head to toe. Be touchable and kissable. For a really sparkling mouth, use dental floss after brushing, then brush again, and close with a good mouthwash. You could greet anyone after that!...Waltzing to the door to greet your husband in a cloud of powder and cologne is a great confidence builder. Not only can you respond to his advances, you will want to! Never let your husband know what to expect when he opens the front door; make it like opening a surprise package. You may be a smouldering sexpot, or an all-American fresh beauty. Be a pixie or a pirate, a cowgirl or a showgirl. Keep him off guard!"


My gawd, is it any wonder these women were heavy into prescription medication? *bg*


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: annamill
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 12:58 PM

HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!HAHA!...slurp...

Sorry.

Love, Annamill


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 12:44 PM

How true. Now, as I suggested earlier, if we could all just get a wife...


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: *daylia*
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 12:43 PM

Ditto, Carol. I'm still in 'recovery'!

As a private music teacher for over twenty years (sheesh has it been THAT long?) one thing I've noticed that's very encouraging is that more and more Dads every year are the ones to bring the kids to lessond and to practice with them at home! Last time I held a performance class for them on a Sat morning the Dads present outnumbered the Moms about 2 to 1!
This was almost unheard of in the 70's ...

I just love to see it happening - all the more power to you 'househusbands' and nurturing Dads willing to actively 'parent' even after a hard day's work!

IMO when Mom's happy and gets her own needs met, everyone's happier!

daylia


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: CarolC
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 12:40 PM

Sometimes you just can't win, eh, GUEST?

;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 12:38 PM

I didn't mean my post to come off sounding like a housekeeper of either gender has it easy. I just meant that for the brief time (a year and a half) I stayed home to clean & raise kids while my partner worked, we had the additional stresses of not enough money to get by on a single salary. So I went back to work part-time when youngest was two, then full-time when they were all in school full days. It was the hardest time of my life too. I wonder how common it is for the divorce to happen when the part-time spouse goes to full-time, and starts demanding the housework & childrearing chores be evenly split, as happened with me? The single parenting happened about a year after I started working full time again, and my partner felt they were being asked to do too much, and I was being lazy (for not doing all the things I'd done while working part-time).


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: CarolC
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 12:34 PM

Cross posted, again. I've done all of those things too, GUEST. I'd say depending on the job, sometimes house parent is the toughest, and sometimes working outside the home is tougher. One of the biggest difficulties of being a house parent is that the job is so undervalued, and you never get to leave your job to go home. You're always on the job, with no breaks from it.


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: CarolC
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 12:32 PM

P.S. Being a single mother doing both the "housewife" and "breadwinner" jobs is the toughest job I ever had.


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 12:31 PM

I ain't buyin' it CarolC. Having been both housekeeper and main breadwinner as a single and married parent, I would have to say being a househusband or housewife is definitely the easiest way out, considering the alternatives. When the kids were small especially, I used to dream about being able to be an at-home parent, while being financially supported by a partner.

As if.


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: CarolC
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 12:28 PM

Looks like we cross posted, Spaw.


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: catspaw49
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 12:28 PM

Dear Carol,

No shit.

Sincerely,

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: CarolC
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 12:27 PM

Of course the irony is that the men I've known who have been househusbands in households with children (and who worked in jobs outside the home previously), tell me that the househusband (houswife) job is the toughest and most difficult job they've ever had ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: NicoleC
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 12:24 PM

Are you kidding? I grew up in the '70's and we had that kind of "be a good wife" stuff in Home Ec class. That's the south for you. I wonder what happened to me?

For a while, I had this guy who mooched off me. In the beginning, it was worth it to find myself paying his bills, feeding him and buying his clothes, because I would come home to a clean house with dinner on the table. Only, he never LEFT. So I got tired of his lazy butt and kicked him out.


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: catspaw49
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 12:22 PM

Hmmmm.......Wait a minute here............I have Karen's breakfast ready when she comes home. I have the kids up, showered and dressed and ready for school. I sit and listen to the travails of the workplace and make sure she gets to bed as soon as possible. I have her clothes ready when she gets up and then I pick up the kids and have supper on the table by 5:30. I pack her lunch and warm up the car...........ohmygawd........I'm a 50's housewife!!!!

Spaw--who lists his occupation as "Househusband"


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: katlaughing
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 12:14 PM

Oh, Rickee, does Heather know you want us to speak in a"low, soft soothing and pleasant voice" ... preferably with English accents!?? Is it safe to call now? **BG**

Sheesh, the really scary part is some of this spilled over to my sisters and me in the mid-60's/early 70's! I remember cleaning house, sprucing myself and the kids up and having dinner on the table when my first husband came home from work! Boy, I sure got out of that fast, though! It wasn't for me...puir Rog, he's never known that side of me!:-)

katrebel


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: *daylia*
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 11:58 AM

I have noticed a definite corelation between women and porn, Spaw ...

As in porn tends to make women 'equal' only to trash cans ... and men 'equal' to screwdrivers ...

Just my opinion though!

daylia


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 11:51 AM

No problem what so ever Barb!

Just go to point two and you should have no trouble finding a wife.


"Be a little gay and a little more interesting.
Cheers

Rick

P.S. Not that you're not ALREADY interesting!


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: catspaw49
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 11:49 AM

Well apochryphal or not, it was a different time wasn't it? WE're now ranting on about Pete Townshend and kiddie porn, but in the 50's, risque material generally was more along the lines of Art Frahm classic which showed the effects of celery on elastic..........and very little else.

So is there some correlation between equality of women and porn?

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: *daylia*
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 11:49 AM

I know Steve, and you can be so 'sweet' too - kinda like a big sweet pain-in-the-you-know-what!

BIG BIG   ;-) ... kinda like   

;-)


I know you guys like 'em big!

daylia


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: GUEST,bbc at work
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 11:45 AM

That's it; I definitely want a wife!!!

bbc, working full-time outside the home as well as inside it


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: mmm1a
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 11:45 AM

OMG
Lets hope my husband doesn't see this one. A home that is calm and quiet, yeah right, like that would ever happen at my house. Thank God I didn't live back then.
                      mmm


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 11:37 AM

From the third variation:

"7. Make him comfortable: Have him lean
             back in a comfortable chair or suggest he
             lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or
             warm drink ready for him. Arrange his
             pillow and offer to take off his shoes.
             Speak in a low, soft, soothing and
             pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and
             unwind."

Can you Mudcat women start speaking in a "low, soft soothing and pleasant voice" please? And preferably with English accents!


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 11:35 AM

Yes, we could all use a good wife, couldn't we? It is so hard to find cooperative slave labor these days. That's why we need to keep hiring Salvadorans whose social security we don't have to pay, to do the jobs for us.


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 11:34 AM

daylia,

We need it. We're big sucks.


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: *daylia*
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 11:32 AM

gads Rick no wonder I couldn't make the grade as a 'wife'! I was born about a decade too late to be instructed properly!

Always thought I'd have been happier as a 'husband' ... I mean look at all the nurturing and coddling and understanding you guys get every day!

;-)   daylia


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 11:27 AM

http://www.snopes.com/language/document/goodwife.htm


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 11:25 AM

forgot the clicky.

bushbliss


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Subject: RE: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 11:22 AM

OH MY LORD, it's friggin' Canadian!

I was tryin to hunt down the original magazine article with the great cartoon and warning for women not to confuse THEIR concerns with anything important....and found this. It's IN THE BIBLE! It would serve Pat Robertson, and Oral and Richard Roberts right if their little women were boinkin' the travelling icon salesmen instead of having those "tasty meals" (shake and bake?) ready on time!

Cheers

Rick

P.S. I guess this article was about ten years too early for that whole "Saranwrap" thing, that Phylis Shaffley (or whoever) came out with.


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Subject: BS: Shape up you women...right now!
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 23 Jan 03 - 11:10 AM

This arrived at my 'workstation' (ha ha) yesterday, and different varieties have continued to come in thick and fast.

In one of the varieties (they're from the 1955 edition of "Good Housekeeping Magazine" I believe) there's a GREAT cartoon, and a hilariously revised text....something about "don't tell him YOUR problems, HIS are far more important!"

I BELIEVE this is straight and legit. I can picture Mrs. Lott and Mrs. Bush looking at it and wondering where the jokes are...but bein' a housewife in the 50s sure wasn't a joke.

My favourite bit of advice is "washing the childrens' little hands and faces" before Dad comes home from his 9-5 pressure job at Enron

Pray I get the blue clicky right.....if not, can someone bail me out.

stromville


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Mudcat time: 27 September 10:16 AM EDT

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