BS: Sexual No Nos.

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: GUEST,Robert o' Dunkerron
Date: 24 Nov 05 - 12:36 PM

Dinna take yer bagpipes tae bed.

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Nov 05 - 12:06 PM

snoring

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: frogprince
Date: 24 Nov 05 - 11:16 AM

Of all the words of tongue or pen,
The saddest words are, "Is it in?"

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: Louie Roy
Date: 24 Nov 05 - 10:47 AM

Don't play with her headlights and get her carburator to leaking and then she reaches over and finds out you have a flat.Louie Roy

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: GUEST,Ex-partner of selfish, inconsiderate, git
Date: 24 Nov 05 - 07:35 AM

Never say, when you are gently awoken some time after you have taken your pleasure but have failed to ensure that of your partner, "Don't fancy a shag right now, have a wank"

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: mandotim
Date: 24 Nov 05 - 05:57 AM

In response to the question (in the dark) 'what do you think of that then?', you should never say 'Put it under the pillow I'll smoke it later'.
Tim from Bit on the Side

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: greg stephens
Date: 24 Nov 05 - 05:51 AM

Spitting out in the ashtray.

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: alanabit
Date: 24 Nov 05 - 05:45 AM

Trying to finish first.

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 24 Nov 05 - 04:42 AM

Is that what they mean by 'Down Under' Jennie?
G ☺

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: JennieG
Date: 24 Nov 05 - 04:40 AM

"have we started yet?"

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 24 Nov 05 - 04:30 AM

Hi Sis!
G

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: webfolk
Date: 24 Nov 05 - 03:56 AM

"was that it"?

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 24 Nov 05 - 03:54 AM

Banjos

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: Bill D
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 11:37 PM

Losing your place in the Kama Sutra and getting your elbow stuck behind your knee.






















you're all looking it up, aren't you?

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: GUEST,anonymouse
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 11:29 PM

When getting oral sex from a dwarf with a flat head, never leave your beer on top of her head.

A word to the wise...

Anon

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: gnu
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 09:39 PM

No.

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 09:30 PM

Yeah? I ain't speakin' fer you, hayseed...

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: Bobert
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 08:38 PM

Speak fir yerself, Chimp...

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: Amos
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 08:16 PM

Errors in species selection.
Errors in gender selection.
Errors in age detection of the chronologically under-endowed.
Misunderstanding the process.
Misunderstanding the purpose.
Poor technique.
Poor aim.
Inadequate security.
Failure to communicate.
Excessive communication.
Halitosis.
Unrevealed physical ailments.
Failure to reveal absence of key body parts.
Failure to reveal presence of unexpected body parts.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 07:50 PM

Gorillas and baboons. I never touch 'em.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: bobad
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 07:49 PM

A stopwatch.

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: JennyO
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 07:46 PM

Hey, you've just given me an idea - have the goats eat the clothes off. Everyone wins :-)

Err.... wait a minute - this was supposed to be about No No's wasn't it. Oh well...

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: Bobert
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 07:34 PM

Clothes???

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: Peace
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 07:31 PM

Goats are a no no? Thanks pal--like, tell me nooooooooooow, eh!

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 07:15 PM

You can tell she's Australian can't you?
Giok ☺

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: JennyO
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 07:12 PM

Goats

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: Amos
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 06:46 PM

Wrong person.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: GUEST,oops !!!
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 06:24 PM

double incontinence

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: The Shambles
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 06:20 PM

The multi-tasking I was thinking of was watching the football on TV.

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 06:05 PM

Rough sheets. They kill your elbows. . . ;->

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: GUEST,Sleepless Dad
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 06:02 PM

If all of the tasks involve your partner then multi-tasking can be a GOOD thing.

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: The Shambles
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 05:58 PM

Multi-tasking.

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: GUEST,Black eye to prove it
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 05:50 PM

NEVER EVER tell you wife during the act that she's almost as good as her sister.

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual Things you shouldn't admit
From: frogprince
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 05:33 PM

My wife puts up with so much, and the crazy woman still loves me:

Quite regulary, while we're still "recuperating", I'll say "Thank you Louise", or "Ethyl", or "Rosa"; anything but her real name. Sometimes she pinches me on the ...ah...cheek...like crazy, 'til I get it right...

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 05:27 PM

Anything involving livestock.....

Unwillingness to swap positions... why do I always have to hold my ankles?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: LilyFestre
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 05:02 PM

Socks....lose the socks!

And onion or Pepsi breath....no thanks.

:) Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: artbrooks
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 04:58 PM

Commenting about painting the ceiling.

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: Biskit
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 03:51 PM

no talking about changing the color of the paint in the Master bath during or immediatly following the act.
Peace! Through Understanding
~Biskit~

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 03:48 PM

Saying to the lady in question, "You have dimples (or whatever) just like my ex-wife/girlfriend/etc..."

(line stolen from the hapless salesman/would-be assassin in "The Assassination of Richard Nixon")

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: Den
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 03:47 PM

Its not generally recommended that you use the following expression immediately after sex, "well that oughta hold ya."

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: Wesley S
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 03:42 PM

Leaving your boots and spurs on can be a no-no unless you get permission ahead of time.

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: GUEST,Frug
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 03:30 PM

..............or their navel as an ashtray !!

Frank

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 03:28 PM

... or your book

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 03:27 PM

Using your partner's back during the act to rest a plate of sandwiches.

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: frogprince
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 03:10 PM

Two things you should never do in bed:

point

and laugh

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 03:04 PM

That'll be just about everything enjoyable then!
G x

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: Raedwulf
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 02:58 PM

Anything the other person doesn't want?

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: ToulouseCruise
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 02:47 PM

Scorekeepers.

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: Peace
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 02:45 PM

Sheep.

Subject: RE: BS: Sexual No Nos.
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 02:42 PM

A bit of added thrust may be welcome a some points!
G ☺