Meeting Girls while playing out/gigging

Subject: RE: Meeting Girls while playing out/gigging
From: SharonA
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 11:40 AM

Agreed; "glomming" is not a good tactic, guys!

Dave Bryant: Is a "dormitory suburb" the same thing as what we 'Mercuns call a "bedroom community"? (That is to say, not a self-sufficient town or village but simply a sprawl of housing developments for people who work in nearby urban areas)

Subject: RE: Meeting Girls while playing out/gigging
From: Alice
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 11:13 AM

Kendall, you are so right! Being "glommed onto" - what a turn off.

Subject: RE: Meeting Girls while playing out/gigging
From:
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 08:37 AM

Well, for those of you who've heard it, Reynaud and I wrote a song about our meeting at an open mic coffeehouse where I was singing along on his originals. We started out as friends, and, while remaining friends, are now partners, lovers, and roommates. It's been over four years, and some days it's as comfortable as a lifetime, and others it's as fresh and exciting as brand-new-yesterday. I think if two people are really musically compatible, it can be indicative of other deep compatibilities.

Just my $0.02, your mileage may vary.

V

Subject: RE: Meeting Girls while playing out/gigging
From: Celtic Soul
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 08:15 AM

When approached by people after performing, I assume that a great many people are speaking to "Peg" and not to me. Many people believe you to be the person you are on stage, and I dunno about you all, but I couldn't be "on" all the time. So, in those instances, I don't generally take any advances too seriously. An ale, some chat, and that's about it.

From the other perspective, I have known musicians, and been *very* attracted to them. And in at least a few cases, when they put down the instrument or stop singing, the attraction wears off.

Music is one hell of an aphrodisiac, but I don't think it alone can support a relationship.

Now, if all you're looking to do is get laid, well then...

Subject: RE: Meeting Girls while playing out/gigging
From: GUEST,T-boy
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 07:54 AM

Just love the quote in 'The Last Waltz', where Ronnie Hawkins gets Robbie Robertson to go on tour with him by promising him 'more pussy than Frank Sinatra'. Never worked for me, though I did meet my wife-to-be in a folk club.

Subject: RE: Meeting Girls while playing out/gigging
From: kendall
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 07:06 AM

I never "hit on" anyone. Being friendly, but somewhat aloof works best! Years ago, I was in another state visiting, and their little boy, about 5, asked if I wanted to see his pet chicken. I said "Sure." He took me to the barn, and, there in a pen, was a chicken. He said "Would you like to pet my chicken"? I said "Well, sure; but, how do you pet a chicken"? he said, "You gotta act like you dont want to." Sure enough, in a few minutes, the chicken came to him, he picked it up and we both stroked it. Cats are the same way, and most women dont appreciate being "Glommed onto" either; at least the ones with an IQ over room temperature.

Subject: RE: Meeting Girls while playing out/gigging
From: Janice in NJ
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 06:34 AM

I'm still trying to figure out what pick-up line would work on Holly Near. Maybe "your hair drives me wild." Even if it doesn't work it's the truth. [grin]

Subject: RE: Meeting Girls while playing out/gigging
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 05:27 AM

It's a bit difficult to avoid going to Eltham as I live in a sort of dormitory suburb of it called Mottingham.

Subject: RE: Meeting Girls while playing out/gigging
From: greg stephens
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 04:56 AM

Bit of thread creep coming up: there is a fiddletune called "The parson from Eltham". KevinBurke, legendary Irish fiddler, comes from Eltham and talks like it , I believe.And clearly legendary chorus-singer Dave Bryant goes on the prowl there while seeking amorous conquests. Anyother Eltham folk connections? Also, I was there last weekend, but that's not very interesting.

Subject: RE: Meeting Girls while playing out/gigging
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 11 Apr 02 - 04:40 AM

Mrs Duck - When people sing "The Folker" they usually insert their current location (or somewhere nearby) into the song - I chatted up Linda at "The Tudor Barn", Eltham, hence my use of it.

A high percentage of my working life was spent on contracts in strange places (some of them very strange) and Folk Clubs provided a very quick and convenient way of finding friends - especially among the opposite sex. It was quite interesting to notice how many of my non-folkie colleagues suddenly began to aquire a liking for Folk Clubs.

Aah - those were the days - liasons always seemed to be "Cool" then !

Subject: RE: Meeting Girls while playing out/gigging
From: Leeder
Date: 10 Apr 02 - 11:17 PM

I used to help run a folk club, and met my future wife when she was in the audience. It was easy enough to find a pretext to strike up a conversation. Our first "date" (I got her in as a guest) was the last club of the season (23 years ago day after tomorrow -- the clubs in Calgary don't run in the spring and summer) and we were married by the first club in September, to many of the regulars' surprise.

So there are perks to running a folk club -- hope this will motivate people...

Subject: RE: Meeting Girls while playing out/gigging
From: GUEST,Musicman
Date: 10 Apr 02 - 11:06 PM

I got into being a musician (rock'n'roll bass player) because I hated dancing. I could play a set, check out the girls on the floor and during the break, single out one or two and express my interest. They already knew who I was - I was in the band! It made introductions really easy. Back on stage, I could keep an eye on the ones I chatted to. If any one of them seemed interested, I'd chat them up some more at the next break. If not, I'd talk to some other girls. By the end of the evening I may have none, one or two still waiting. If none, there was always tomorrow. Otherwise, I had company. The great thing was, I didn't have to buy them drinks all night just to find out they were not interested! And at the end of the evening, I got paid. I play folk music these days because I enjoy it and I don't have to chase the girls anymore. I always encourage young folks to pick up an instrument as it is the best way I ever found to meet the opposite sex.

Subject: RE: Meeting Girls while playing out/gigging
From: 53
Date: 10 Apr 02 - 10:23 PM

Getting girls was one of the reasons that I learned to play the guitar, the other was the Beatles, so I guess the Beatles won. Bob

Subject: RE: Meeting Girls while playing out/gigging
From: Alice
Date: 10 Apr 02 - 09:52 PM

Johnny, it may be hard to put yourself in the shoes of a female, but a wise woman is careful about meeting men who are strangers. It really is important to know something about the character of a man, and just because they like folk music, there is no guarantee about what kind of person they are. Meeting someone who is playing in the same session as you, or at the same song circle, gives a chance to meet more than once within a circle of friends and acquaintances. If a stranger walks up to me and compliments my performance, I appreciate that, but if they try to hit on me or get information about meeting me somewhere else, that is a warning signal to be on guard.

Subject: RE: Meeting Girls while playing out/gigging
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 10 Apr 02 - 12:46 PM

Surely there was a better rhyme for Eltham!!!!;-) I usually found chatting in the bar between sets to be a good way of meeting people. Its where I met Geoff!

Subject: RE: Meeting Girls while playing out/gigging
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 10 Apr 02 - 12:11 PM

If you spend all your time wondering about if the situation is "Cool/Uncool" you'll never end up pulling in the first place. When I first got involved with folk music nearly 40 years ago, one of the things that made it attractive was the fact that girls felt that it was alright to go to a pub on their own - if it was for a folk evening !

I suppose that I first got noticed by my partner, Linda (Essex Girl), by singing harmonies to her choruses - but in spite of that she still went out with me !

Seeking twenty plus expenses I went looking for a gig,
But got no offers - just a come-on from a groupie down in Eltham.
I do declare - I was feeling rather randy so I had her then and there......

Subject: RE: Meeting Girls while playing out/gigging
From: JohnnyBGoode
Date: 09 Apr 02 - 04:28 PM

Oh, to clarify, I was imagining the performer inquiring about the party.

After playing I want to hang out with cool people who understand folk music, or at least love music.

Good point , Dave, about making the transition. I think I'd would actually stick with the guitar if it was "going on" at the moment.

And yes, Sharon, I too would hate to find myself in a situation that would be uncool. It sometimes is easy to guess, though, from conversation, etc.

Subject: RE: Meeting Girls while playing out/gigging
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 09 Apr 02 - 04:17 PM

I don't know if I'm on topic (what's that?) here, but when I was a single young buck playing the guitar and singing folksongs were at least partly intended to get me the girls.

Unfortunately I found that when my arms were around the guitar they weren't around the girl! I had a hard time making the transition.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: Meeting Girls while playing out/gigging
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 09 Apr 02 - 04:16 PM

I don't know if I'm on topic (what's that?) here, but when I was a single young buck playing the guitar and singing folksongs were at least partly intended to get me the girls.

Unfortunately I found that when my arms were around the guitar they weren't around the girl!

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: Meeting Girls while playing out/gigging
From: GUEST,Midchuck downstairs
Date: 09 Apr 02 - 03:57 PM

Every time I try, Kris jabs me someplace painful with the fiddle bow! It's hell!

P.

Subject: RE: Meeting Girls while playing out/gigging
From: SharonA
Date: 09 Apr 02 - 03:45 PM

Even if someone came up to me after a gig and said, "Hey, I''m a perfect stranger but come to my party", I'd want to be sure that people I know are going along. I'd be even more comfortable if I was sure that people I know are friends with the person in question, and can assure me that he's an "okay guy" and that nothing will happen at his party to make me uncomfortable (or to prompt a visit from the police, or anything!). A girl can't be too careful these days!

Subject: RE: Meeting Girls while playing out/gigging
From: MMario
Date: 09 Apr 02 - 03:35 PM

To be perfectly honest - if you were a performer wouldn't you wonder if someone came up to you and said "Hey - invite me to a party?"

Subject: Meeting girls while playing out/gigging
From: JohnnyBGoode
Date: 09 Apr 02 - 03:31 PM

Hello all,

This may sound silly, and I'm sure many are tempted to give a humorous or judgmental response, but I really am serious.

I've found I've never really met anyone going out (bars, clubs, etc.) I'm just not that type. I do try and insure I have a good time, though. Parties are a different story -- I do make friends and meet interesting people this way.

Anyway, when I'm in the audience, and a female performer is good, I usually would like to meet her. I wonder if I should say something like -- invite me to a party if there's one going on -- I'm from out of town, etc.

Actually the best approach may be to always plan some type of party after a performance, and hand out directions to those that are invited.

Well, there it is. I think I have my own answer. What has been your experience?

Jon