BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?

Subject: Jedi: what unclean beasts?
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 08:08 AM

Ifthe move to get Jedi recognised as an "official" religion in the UK succeeds, I think it would be useful to know what it proscribes. Can we declare the sheep to be unclean? We can then object to children being taught "Mary had a little lamb", for example. (I believe a similar thing happened with the three little pigs with the Moslems. It's this kind of thing that lets people know your religion is a force to be reckoned with.)

May the twenty-fourth be with you,
Steve

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: Patrish(inactive)
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 08:15 AM

April the twenty fourth is with me ?
Patrish

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 08:18 AM

Don't get smart with me, you sheep!

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: Crazy Eddie
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 08:35 AM

"Steal the forks, Luke. Steal the forks"

Can we have a sacred animal too? I'd like to nominate the Dormouse ('cos it's cute) or possibly the Aardvark. :o)
On the other hand we could nominate the possum, making Spaw either a saint or a heretic, depending on interopretation!
But please, let's not pick anyone else's sacred animal as our unclean animal or anyone else's unclean animal as our sacred one. There's enough conflict in the world already.

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: Patrish(inactive)
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 08:37 AM

Baa

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: LR Mole
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 08:39 AM

Don't let some swine pull the wool over your eyes, eh?Good for ewe!Good thing you're no Leihabout. Yoda man.

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: Les from Hull
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 08:43 AM

Yer, go for the Aardvark. Aard vark never hurt anybody. And we'd be the first in the ABC list of sacred animals. Yet there is something appealing about having a sacred animal that spends so much of its time asleep.

May the fourth would have to be a major holy day.

May the farce be with you, Les

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: Irish sergeant
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 08:43 AM

Give in to the darkside of mudcat young chordwalker!

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: Micca
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 08:55 AM

I think you should follow Bokononism, rather than these false \Jedi, If you are going to follow a False prophet, follow a REAL false Prophet, Bokonon!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: kendall
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 08:56 AM

We cant have an Aardvark, it eats ants. That makes it a carnivore. Live long and prosper. sorry, wrong farce.

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: MMario
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 09:03 AM

it's an insectivore; helping clean the planet of pests.

The HOLYAardvark had an ark
e-i-e-i-o!
And on that ark it had some ants
e-i-e-i-o!
it at them all 'cause it was smart!
kept them out a Noah's pants!
e-o-e-o-i!

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 09:08 AM

If we all become Jedi will we have to worship at the temple of Pizza the Hut?

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: Grab
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 09:11 AM

Cept it can't succeed, cos it won't be recognised as an official religion (according to official reports). And there's a nice hefty fine for lying on your census form....

Graham.

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: clansfolk
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 09:17 AM

Just for clarification - If you do enter Jedi as your religion it will just be bundle with the rest of the "other" and as such whether 10,000 or 2,000,000,000,000,000,000 people include Jedi as their religion it will NOT become a religion or be included in further forms as a choice!

May the farce be with you.....

Pete

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: clansfolk
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 09:21 AM

PS

The fine doesn't apply to religious beliefs (I suppose It would be too hard to prove!)

Pete

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: Caitrin
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 09:28 AM

Your ancient religion is dead, Kenobi. Turn to the Dark Side.
~Darth Caitrin

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: Patrish(inactive)
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 09:33 AM

Take the first three letters of your first name and tack on the first two letters of your surname.
Then take the first two letters of your mum's maiden name and add the first three letters of your place of birth.

And voila! You've got your Star Wars name.

Mines Patto Kezim
AKA Patrish xx

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 09:38 AM

Wasn't there another one of those, with the street you lived on and something and you got the name you'd have if you were a hooker, or something?

-Mrrce Festl, what a great name!

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: sian, west wales
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 09:38 AM

Dang me if you ain't right, Patrish!

Siath Ripor

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: Caitrin
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 09:41 AM

Ooo...neat.
~Katas Edaus

PS- The way I heard for coming up with your stripper name is the name of your first pet for a first name and the first street you lived on for a last name. (It works a little -too- well for me--I end up with "Polly Beaver")

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: RWilhelm
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 09:46 AM

It's certainly violent enough to be an earth religion.

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 09:50 AM

Clapton's almost written a hymn for it: Leia "got me on my knees, Leia".[we won't mention Sir Cliff's Millennium Falcon Prayer...]
Is this a nicotine free church or can we bring Chewbacca?
RtS (dearly beloved when R2D2 or C3PO are gathered together...)

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: Caitrin
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 09:50 AM

Jedi isn't nearly violent enough--that's part of the problem we Sith Lords and Ladies have with it. They only fight for that silly "good" stuff, causes and whatnot. What a waste of time. They obviously don't understand the kind of power one can use the Force to achieve.

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 09:55 AM

Durzy de Mercure... too strange for me, I like my Jedi name better! And can the sacred/unclean animals be sentient? How about declaring Jar Jar Binks unclean? Or does it have to be something you might eat? What are the rules of this pleasant pastime?

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: okthen
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 10:15 AM

Does this mean shepherds are baa-stewards ?

cheers

bill

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: hesperis
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 10:27 AM

LOL!!!

Anyway, here's a link to one of the Star Wars Name threads.

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: Les from Hull
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 10:31 AM

Should we have a ruling that all princesses have to wear danish pastries on their ears? It'll give them something to nibble on at least.

Don't pay heed to the vile writings of that sheep of an unbeliever who calls herself Caitrin.

Leswa Wahul aka Leswa Wakin

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 10:32 AM

Aah, according to that thread, I am really Mrresz Cestl... I like that too!

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: English Jon
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 10:35 AM

Me and my cousin put ourselves down as "dark lords of the sith"

Darth Jimmy and Darth Johny. ho ho ho.

"Jonlo Bepet" AKA English Jon

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: Caitrin
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 10:37 AM

Hah! Don't try to deny the Dark Side, Les! You will fail, as others have before you. The Empire is mighty; the Dark Side is powerful beyond your wildest dreams. We shall crush you Rebel scum.

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 10:43 AM

By the Sacred Myrmecophage! What have I started? Maybe we should declare lambs OK--we don't want to upset theChristians, they're real dirty bastards in a fight.

Stepa Heblo
BTW, I've discovered that the sheep-lovers are already on to us: Google gives 72--yes, 72!--results for "shhep"
Lassie Brocklehurst ... that must be my sheepdog name.

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: MMario
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 10:50 AM

I get 97 hits for "shhep" - they must be fast breeders!

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: Midchuck
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 10:53 AM

What I love about the Mudcat is that it makes me think I may be relatively normal after all.

P.

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: Midchuck
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 10:59 AM

At first reading, I thought this thread was about unclean breasts, and was going to offer to come running with a washcloth. Drat.

P.

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: Les from Hull
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 11:02 AM

That's Mister Scum to you, Caitrin.

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: Mad Maudlin
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 11:06 AM

Same with me, Midchuck. Though it's quite depressing to think that one's normal, isn't it? so dull and boring... :-) Now, if I had to decide I'd make the ladybug the sacred animal. They're cute and they eat the pests that try to kill my flowers. But are there ladybugs in that galaxy far, far away? If there are none, let's have the bantha instead! It's not cute but at least it's big and hairy.

BTW, I wonder what those allusions to Spaw and the possum mean. Please enlighten a poor newbie :-)

Nagut Werum (my Star Wars name really sucks :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: MMario
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 11:08 AM

M Maudlin - do a fourm search on "cleigh o'possum". But be sure and wash your hands afterwords!

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: LR Mole
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 11:19 AM

Hm...my star wars name sounds as though I had been eating too much peanut butter (Flpr!), but the other one is Amtrak Calla. Not much of a stripper.

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 11:32 AM

I like Nagut Werum, actually! And thanks, I was too shy to ask about the possum thing. Will peruse forthwith.

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: sledge
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 11:39 AM

Holy animal - Wombat.

Unclean animal - chihuahau

Sledge

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: MMario
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 11:42 AM

Do ladybugs dream of plaid orangatangs?

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: Caitrin
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 11:50 AM

Fine, Mr. Rebel Scum. You'll still be smashed under the mighty fist of the Empire in the end.

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: Les from Hull
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 11:53 AM

That's true. I'm well-known for getting smashed.

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: mousethief
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 11:57 AM

Well once you guys get your religion up and running, let me be the first to offer you an interfaith dialogue. Together we can help stomp out christian-bashing and jedi-bashing ... together!

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: First Amendment
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 11:59 AM

Please note that Alex/Mousethief did not mention any desire to stomp out Jew-bashing.

However, it my duty to protect Alex/Mousethief's right not to express such a desire.

First Amendment

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: First Amendment
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 12:01 PM

Please note that Alex/Mousethief did not mention any desire to stomp out Jew-bashing.

However, it my duty to protect Alex/Mousethief's right not to express such a desire.

First Amendment

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 12:22 PM

Yes, but only once!

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: harpmolly
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 12:30 PM

LOL Steve! :D

Okay, I don't know about this...

Molba Dosta? sounds kind of dorky to me. hmmm...

and I definitely vote that Jar Jar be declared unclean. Now, the young Obi Wan on the other hand...no complaints there. He's spanking clean. (Crap. Really didn't need to go down that road. Well, there's another workday shot to hell...;))

Molba Toasta

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: GUEST,Hare Hare Krishna Krishna
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 12:53 PM

or Buddhist-bashing too. and Hindu-bashing. and Muslim-bashing. and Baha'i-bashing. and Zoroastrian-bashing. and Wiccan-bashing. and Theosophist-bashing. and Bobist-bashing. and CargoCultist-bashing.

Subject: RE: BS: Jedi religion: what unclean beasts?
From: LR Mole
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 01:06 PM

This almost makes my name peanut butter and Jedi.