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BS: Secrets of Witchcraft
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Subject: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft Junk emails From: SINSULL Date: 22 Jul 07 - 11:26 AM This is too funny. Platinum Express out of Austria is offering two free spells (for a small membership fee). 90% of all wizards and witches are wrong and are actually diminishing my magic by their mistakes. "Old Witchcraft Secrets" will show you in detail, how you can cast powerful spells. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: SINSULL Date: 22 Jul 07 - 11:28 AM The spells are "personally tested". How can this be wrong? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: Amos Date: 22 Jul 07 - 11:49 AM http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=103480#2108605 is the destination of the link you provided, SINS -- it is a non-existant point on the same thread. Perhaps you mispronounced "Aitch-tee-ellimus!" or your wand needs a new battery? A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: Alba Date: 22 Jul 07 - 12:11 PM T'is a spell that has been cast on the Link so that "The Secrets" cannot be revealed. An invisibility Screen has been put around your Link Sins which now is sheilding these ancient secrets from the eyes of those that would abuse the scared oath. *It wasn't me though...*giggle* |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: GUEST,KT not logged in Date: 22 Jul 07 - 12:22 PM the scared oath, Alba? Was that on purpose? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: SINSULL Date: 22 Jul 07 - 12:40 PM LOL Maybe I'd better subscribe... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 22 Jul 07 - 12:42 PM I think Sinsull's clicky should have been like this: CLICK HERE FOR MAGICAL CONNECTION Dave Oesterreich |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: Alba Date: 22 Jul 07 - 12:45 PM *Rye smile* KT Darlin..... I have only learned recently about this scared oath..many outcomes depend on which Oath one chooses to take, the Sacred or the scared. Good to see you Darlin as always, hope all is good in your World Love Jude :>) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: Alba Date: 22 Jul 07 - 12:49 PM Oh dear... "The truth is... you've been misled by self-proclaimed powerful wizards and witches... and the truth is that 99% of these 'professionals' are DEAD WRONG!" ROFLMAO |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: Ebbie Date: 22 Jul 07 - 01:39 PM LOL I love the 'scared oath'. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: katlaughing Date: 22 Jul 07 - 04:39 PM Personally, I think it's all a big smoke Screen...Double, double toil and trouble, and all that. I mean really how can ya block any of it, invisible Screen or not!? ShaZammm!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: Rapparee Date: 22 Jul 07 - 05:12 PM I'll be happy to share The Secrets if you will only send me a little information about yourself: name, address. social security number, mother's maiden name, bank account number.... AND I will demonstrate a magical technique to have money disappear from your bank account! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: Alba Date: 22 Jul 07 - 05:36 PM Eh actually, I have it on a good authority that the REAL start of that spell is hubble bubble toil and trouble Kat. Now if, and this is purely speculation on my part, one required to be unseen then why, if one has a knowledge of the Kraft, would one require a smoke screen!!!? Most folks in the 'know' say like 'Professional Crafters' would mearly use the spell that begins with....muggles,fumbles, embroils and baffels...ect As you can see I did subscribe to Sinsull's link and the things I have learned today are frankly mind blowingly wow. So needless to say...I now am in possesion of 'THE Secret'. Money well spent I can tell you. Cackle, hackle, horse and mackerel J |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: Micca Date: 22 Jul 07 - 06:29 PM Remember if you go in for this I know many Wiccans who are still searching for a reliable Spellchecker!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: SINSULL Date: 22 Jul 07 - 06:55 PM Thanks, UncleDaveO. That is a copy of the message I received. Don't know why the clicky won't work. Even stranger the message is gone from my email - not in the current messages or deleted messages. Must be witchcraft Wicked witchcraft Although I know It's strictly taboo When you arouse the need in me...etc. Looks like Alba needs a Spellcheck for her scared and sacred spell. Is she the "personal" tester? I have visions of Betty Crocker's test kitchen with a number of Stepford Wives arguing over boiling cauldrons. "No! No newts! I added newts earlier! Now we need some bread to soak up the extra or it will be too salty." Actually, the idea of katlaughing and Alba sharing spells with me is a bit scary. "Abracadabra and you're a frog!" shouted at Gerard Depardieu. I will go sit in the corner now and write an apology to the French. Since the night I called Baby Fred and a skunk came running to the door I summon nothing and certainly not demons. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: Micca Date: 22 Jul 07 - 08:23 PM The thought of you three "making spells"( should be weaving spells!) leaves me feeling downright sacred, Mary!!! On a different note the whole Witches speech (see below) It has been suggested is actually a mnemonic for the REAL ingredients!!of the spell and that old Bill may have in fact known some authentic witches Round about the couldron go: In the poisones entrails throw. Toad,that under cold stone Days and nights has thirty-one Sweated venom sleeping got, Boil thou first in the charmed pot. Double,double toil and trouble; Fire burn and cauldron bubble. Fillet of a fenny snake, In the cauldron boil and bake; Eye of newt and toe of frog, Wool of bat and tongue of dog, Adder's fork and blindworm's sting, Lizard's leg and howlet's wing. For charm of powerful trouble, Like a hell-broth boil and bubble. Double,double toil and trouble; Fire burn and couldron bubble. Scale of dragon,tooth of wolf, Witch's mummy, maw and gulf Of the ravin'd salt-sea shark, Root of hemlock digg'd in the dark, Liver of blaspheming Jew; Gall of goat; andslips of yew silver'd in the moon's eclipse; Nose of Turk, and Tartar's lips; Finger of birth-strangled babe Ditch-deliver'd by the drab,- Make the gruel thick and slab: Add thereto a tiger's chaudron, For ingrediants of our cauldron. Double,double toil and trouble Fire burn and cauldron bubble., |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: Alba Date: 22 Jul 07 - 09:10 PM Tell you something for nothing Micca (nice to see you ma dear) That is most definetly the last time I extract a Wolf's tooth in my Kitchen. To say that the Wolf was 'less than cooperative' would be an understatement. I mean I only required ONE tooth and he had plenty other teeth! So now I am off to apply some wart removal tincture to my..well nose warts of course and then it's back to my bubbling brew. Toodle-oo- |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: Alice Date: 22 Jul 07 - 10:15 PM ROSES BLUE © 1968 & 1974 Siquomb Publishing Corp. By Joni Mitchell I think of tears, I think of rain on shingles; I think of rain, I think of roses blue. I think of Rose, My heart begins to tremble, To see the place she's lately gotten to, Gotten to. She's gotten to mysterious devotions, She's gotten to the zodiac and zen, She's gotten into tarot cards and potions, She's laying her religion on her friends, On her friends. Friends who come to ask her for their future, Friends who come to find they can't be friends, Because of signs and seasons that don't suit her, She'll prophesy your death, she won't say when, Won't say when. When all the black cards come you cannot barter, When all your stars are stacked you cannot win, She'll shake her head and treat you like a martyr, It is her blackest spell she puts you in, Puts you in. In sorrow she can lure you where she wants you, Inside your own self pity there you swim, In sinking down to drown her voice still haunts you, And only with your laughter can you win, Can you win. You think of tears, I think of rain on shingles, I think of rain, I think of Roses blue, I think of Rose, my heart begins to tremble, To see the place she's lately gotten to, Gotten to. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: SINSULL Date: 22 Jul 07 - 10:37 PM I don't know, Micca. I don't recall any of that being covered in the Harry Potter books. And where the hell did they get dragon scales? But Jacqui and I each found an authentic witch's broomstick. Jacqui's goes "Bruhmmm Bruhmmmm". So maybe we'll go off for a ride and check in later. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: katlaughing Date: 23 Jul 07 - 12:58 AM Well, at least they weren't calling for "sugar and spice" or "puppy dogs' tails!" Eeewwwww!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: Micca Date: 23 Jul 07 - 01:45 AM SINS, you guys are so passé, Modern witches ride Dysons!!!! See here |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: Liz the Squeak Date: 23 Jul 07 - 04:09 AM Huh... Dysons are no good, bits keep breaking. After 2 1/2 years the bit that holds the nozzles on will fall apart and the coil retract won't work. Besides... you need one hell of a long extension lead to go any distance. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: Micca Date: 23 Jul 07 - 05:29 AM Its Magick, Liz, parts only break off if you insist on CLEANING with it anyway We dont need no steenking electrickery!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: jacqui.c Date: 23 Jul 07 - 06:41 AM But the brooms are so much quieter - we can sneak up unheard and scare the bejaysus out of people whenever we want to. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: SINSULL Date: 23 Jul 07 - 11:01 AM Eh Alba? How much was that subscription? Alba? Alba? Have we lost her? Damn! Now one of us will have to subscribe to figure out how to get her back. Is Burt's credit card good outside the Inn? Do you think she is in any danger? Anyone willing to split the cost of a subscription? They do promise two guaranteed spells - you can even choose first. Micca you seem to know the most about this - if Alba has somehow contaminated her brew with that wart removal tincture, what might she have done? Made herself invisible, maybe? Created a hole righht through the center of the earth? (Not a bad idea if it takes Boston with her). Sorry Alba. That was mean. Micca? What should we do? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: Micca Date: 23 Jul 07 - 12:59 PM SINS, Alba is a damned sight safer in this stuff than you or I, she is probably in a "no signal" zone!!!(even witches are victims of Modern technology) maybe the "Wart removal" stuff now removes a different kind of Wart? As a general rule Casting spells is to be avoided (and is by all right thinking and ethical witches) as the "Threefold" rule applies( anything you do comes back to you, Threefold) and if you send out nasties, well, it might just boomerang and bite you in the ass!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: Alba Date: 23 Jul 07 - 02:42 PM Did someone mention 'Ass' mmmm nice *grin* Well dang that was interesting little field trip. No Dyson for me I'm afraid. I still spend my nights flying around on my 19 year old Rainbow Vac! (talking ass, you would think that Rainbow could have put the carry handle somewhere else huh!). No prob with the wart tinc though Warts have gone but have been replaced by hair, which is an improvement ...of sorts. The one tooth less wolf came back to my door around 10pm with a couple of buddies but what with me being the shy sort I didn't answer the door. They think I give out free dental work now! Then I was casting all night! (Got a job hiring extras for 'The Witches of Eastwick -return of Jack') Now Sins don't say I didn't tell you. Hannaford's has a special on Dragon Scale today. Thing is they don't freeze well so you would have to get your Brew brewing asap! The brew would keep till August 11th making your next House Concert...eh...what shall I say... very different from all the other Concerts you have hosted. *wink* Mary... I'll give you the two starter spells I got from my subscription to the email thing. Free. (Truth is we don't need their stinkin spells) The first so called "spell" is a tad boring, you know the type. Standard fare for the wanna-be. Turning your enemies into Newts. yawn The good thing about having a load of Newts around the House though is that you can scoop the eyes out of the them and use them in your brew and the extra eyes you have left over do freeze in a zip lock bag (Hannafords rarely have any eye of Newt in stock as well you know)) I am still thinking about the second spell that I was given for my subcription...sounds very dodgy to me and when I have decided what to do with it (use it or lose it if you catch my drift) I will let you know what it involves and you can decide for yourself. You'lle see what I mean when I post again. Unfortunately Boston is still here. Although the "Big Dig" has taken care of most of it....very little left to do there in the way of making it disappear.....*Big Grin* Micca you are a wise man indeed. How true is the truth. It is indeed best not to throw/cast nasty stuff in any direction for any reason what so ever as it WILL find it's way back to those that would cast the 'original' nasty over and over and over again. Increasing in nastiness with each return trip and if one has cast Horse shit...well you get the picture. Now if you will excuse me I have to figure out how to remove the Gall from a Goat. Micca, I have never seen a pair of Lips on Tartar sauce in all my Life. Is this something that is available in your local Sainsburys? "come here Goat, I hear your bloody bell, here goatee goatee... Rumble, jungle, feckin mumble....." J |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: SINSULL Date: 23 Jul 07 - 03:22 PM Is a newt anything like a geccko? I always suspected that nasty little GEICO spokesperson was the result of a nasty with a witch with a sense of humor. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: Micca Date: 23 Jul 07 - 03:42 PM According to a certain Wellknown sage(and onion) the change to Dysons etc. came about because the "standard" broom tends to emulate the back string of a thong and can be very uncomfortable especially when doing rapid mid air manoeuvres, whereas the Dyson and other more "wide bodied" devices stay grounded on the external cheeks. AAlba, I'm afraid when purchasing such devices It is vital to note the position of carrying handles and other fittings that might be uncomfortable in flight, A well fitted safety belt is also a wise precaution!!1 |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: SINSULL Date: 23 Jul 07 - 08:42 PM After careful consideration I have decided to invest in a magic carpet. The roll up kind so Alice isn't tempted to pee on it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: SINSULL Date: 23 Jul 07 - 08:43 PM After thought: it will be handy to have a number of friends riding about on vacuum cleaners. Never know when the carpet might need a going over. SINS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: frogprince Date: 23 Jul 07 - 09:53 PM Away Ye Merry Lasses (Crowwomen - on their debut album "Crow Goddess") c. Georje Holper I told me Mum I was going out, she asked what I was all about I asked if I could take the broom, I'm going to meet the girls Oh, the moon is wax tonight and don't you like the fellas? I prefer the girls tonight, I'm going to ride the wind chorus: 'Cause it's the girls' night out, away ye merry lasses Get your brooms, get 'em out, we'll ride the wind tonight Oh, it's the girls' night out, away ye merry lasses Get your brooms, get 'em out, we'll ride the wind tonight My sister is so bold and free, she asked if she could come with me I saw her up above the trees, a-goin' to ride the wind Oh, the moon is wax tonight and don't you like the fellas? I prefer the girls tonight, I'm going to ride the wind Chorus As we were goin' out the gate we met our dear old mother Ridin' a broom and hummin' a tune, goin' to ride the wind Oh, the moon is wax tonight and don't you like the fellas? I prefer the girls tonight, I'm going to ride the wind Chorus |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: katlaughing Date: 24 Jul 07 - 12:37 AM Love that song!! Sins...I don't "hoover" for anyone!**bg** |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: Alba Date: 24 Jul 07 - 09:32 AM Surely you meant hover Kraft, sorry hover Kat! *smile* Those in the know, know that one of the lesser known secrets of the Kraft is a total aversion to Domesticity, after all why wear one's self out with domestic duties when you can pull a Mary Poppins on your Housework!. Simple enough wee spell as well: In ev'ry job that must be done There is an element of fun You find the fun and snap! The job's a game And ev'ry task you undertake Becomes a piece of cake A lark! A spree! It's very clear to see that A Spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down The medicine go down The medicine go down Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down In a most delightful way *note to self, check if it is Slap or Snap * Use it all the time myself. Haven't dusted, done Laundry, baked or vaccumed a rug for years by hand. Just chanted the 'SOS spell' and...Hey Pesto ~ job done. Tried the second free spell last night.....now this one is well dodgy. Still trying to undo it. Will check back later with details........ J <[:>0 ~ ancient secret symbol |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: Micca Date: 24 Jul 07 - 10:39 AM " Rule 2 in the "Witches handbook" " do not summon anything you can not dismiss(and in any case, anything bigger than your head)or start a spell you can not undo or reverse"!!!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: beardedbruce Date: 24 Jul 07 - 10:51 AM re broomsticks. broomsticks are usually pictured incorectly being used as flying aids. In traditional ( ie, pre-Wicca) practice, the brrom was mounted with the straw IN FRONT of the person, and a candle places in it and lit. Not exactly OSHA standard for fire safety. The early texts (Farmer at al) discuss the use of the broomstick as a means to apply unguents to the privat parts. These were supposedly made ( the unguents) with materials that would induce hallucinogens, giving the user the feeling of flying. So, a Dyson would not be of much use. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: beardedbruce Date: 24 Jul 07 - 10:54 AM see also "Cows, Pigs, Witches, and Wars :the Riddle of Culture" by Marvin Harris |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: SINSULL Date: 24 Jul 07 - 10:58 AM Alba, That spoonful of sugar made me gag and my breakfast came up. Anyone have a WetVac? Then I lit a broom as Bruce suggested. SIGH. Damn thing is made of plastic. It melted and set off the smoke alarm. Another spell I can't seem to undo or reverse. The broom no longer hovers so I can't turn off the alarm. Micca, Where can I get a copy of that Rule Book? SINS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: TheSnail Date: 24 Jul 07 - 11:04 AM So, a Dyson would not be of much use. But a Hoover Dustette ... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: beardedbruce Date: 24 Jul 07 - 11:06 AM SINS, One lights the candle ( with the appropriate spell). But NOW you need a bunch of FAA certifications and EPA/OSHA/FTC/DOT permits- far more difficult to get than the unguent ingredients. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: Tinker Date: 24 Jul 07 - 11:18 AM Now did I have to open this on a housecleaning day.....????!!!! I've been using both the broom and the vacumn all morning and it's time to light a candle, but .... I really need to know not how the vacumn "happened" to be turnt on but how the body parts were in the way .... As I told my church kids when they asked for a misssion trip in Amsterdam.... ALBA !!! NOw I'm humming that song, and I'm already cleaning, and I may have to think of a suitable energy to send back at you for this one... UGH!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: Amos Date: 24 Jul 07 - 11:21 AM The late, lamented "Nimbus" electric broom toy had it all, folks. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: beardedbruce Date: 24 Jul 07 - 11:23 AM TheSnail Witches are female. Warlocks are male. Suposedly Should we get into wizards and sorcerers, magicians, necromancers, et al? warlock ( ) n. A male witch, sorcerer, wizard, or demon witch [ wich ] noun (plural witch·es) Definition: 1. somebody with alleged magic powers: somebody, especially a woman, who is supposed to have magical or wonder-working powers that are most often used malevolently 2. follower of nature religion: a follower of Wicca, a pre-Christian natural religion 3. offensive term: an offensive term that deliberately insults a woman regarded as ugly, vicious, or malicious ( insult ) 4. seductive woman: a woman who is regarded as alluring or seductive ( informal ) ( sometimes offensive) Dansk (Danish) n. - troldmand Nederlands (Dutch) tovenaar Français (French) n. - sorcier Deutsch (German) n. - Zauberer Ελληνική (Greek) n. - μάγος, γητευτής Italiano (Italian) stregone Português (Portuguese) n. - feiticeiro (m), mágico (m), bruxo (m) Русский (Russian) колдун, чародей, волшебник Español (Spanish) n. - hechicero, brujo Svenska (Swedish) n. - trollkarl, svartkonstnär, häxmästare 中文（简体） (Chinese (Simplified)) 男巫士, 魔术师 中文（繁體） (Chinese (Traditional)) n. - 男巫士, 魔術師 한국어 (Korean) n. - 마법사, 마술사 日本語 (Japanese) n. - 魔法使い, 魔術師 العربيه (Arabic) (الاسم) ألمشعوذ, ألساحر עברית (Hebrew) n. - מכשף, קוסם, רב-מג |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: Micca Date: 24 Jul 07 - 11:49 AM Bruce I very strongly advise you not to address any British Witches you may meet as " Warlocks" ( unless you WANT to spend the next year or two in a cool damp environment saying "Ribbit")it is widely regarded as a derogatory term.It is regarded as being a "literary artifice" at best by many and as a load of ***locks by others. Witches is a "non-gender specific" term in Modern Witchcraft. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: beardedbruce Date: 24 Jul 07 - 11:56 AM I have faith that the Threefold Rule will protect me from those who might have the ability to do something to me, and that those not aware of that rule will only get what they deserve. Many of those I know here prefer the word "Wiccan" to either term. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: Micca Date: 24 Jul 07 - 12:40 PM Q. How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb? A, Into what? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: SINSULL Date: 24 Jul 07 - 01:28 PM Jacqui has a Nimbus 2000. Goes BRMMMM BRMMMMM. Mine is a prop is from a costume store and site quietly in the corner. Now Micca - Which witch are you? Are you a good witch or a bad witch? The Munchkins want to know. Anyone else have an adverse reaction to picturing Tinker cleaning her house and humming "A Spoonful Of Sugar"? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: beardedbruce Date: 24 Jul 07 - 01:33 PM DOes she collect or scatter "fairie dust"? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 24 Jul 07 - 03:52 PM Somebody posting above wrote about a "rye smile." Was this what you were thinking of? When Linnda Caporael began nosing into the Salem witch trials as a college student in the early 1970s, she had no idea that a common grain fungus might be responsible for the terrible events of 1692. But then the pieces began to fall into place. Caporael, now a behavioral psychologist at New York's Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, soon noticed a link between the strange symptoms reported by Salem's accusers, chiefly eight young women, and the hallucinogenic effects of drugs like LSD. LSD is a derivative of ergot, a fungus that affects rye grain. Ergotism — ergot poisoning — had indeed been implicated in other outbreaks of bizarre behavior, such as the one that afflicted the small French town of Pont-Saint-Esprit in 1951 from http://www.hbci.com/~wenonah/history/ergot.htm. Interesting site! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Secrets of Witchcraft From: beardedbruce Date: 24 Jul 07 - 03:53 PM Cogito ERGOT sum 50! |