Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)

Subject: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 12:48 AM

The saga continues, for the benefit of those that are interested, The winner of the Guess Mick's name contest was Les from Hull.He will be presented with his prize (a small clove of garlic) at The White Horse aka Nellies, Hengate, Beverley, at 2PM on Sunday the 4th August.All wefans, groupies etc are welcome to attend and observe the presentation, I am sure there will be much music making and merriment.There were a few words of wisdom in the previous thread that I feel ought to be repeated here.
1.Don't keep your bannanas too close to your bear.
2.Don't buy your underpants from a car-boot (yard) sale.
Anybody know how to link threads?

---

click for part 1

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: GUEST,The Deanmeister
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 06:11 AM

Morning John. Perhaps a new thread is not a bad idea, though it is a shame to lose Micks definitive guide to flonking the dwyle!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: GUEST,The Deanmiester, with a bad back.
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 06:20 AM

Can anybody come to this power lunch? And by the way, who the hell is John from Hull? I think you are the only contributor to this endless stream of drivel that I cannot identify. Have we met?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 07:38 AM

He's the Che Guevara dude in the pork pie hat.

Gary

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Banjo-Flower
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 08:22 AM

Hi GUEST,The Deanmiester, with a bad back. you do'nt know me either

Gerry

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Noreen
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 08:39 AM

Continued from punch the horse at durty nellies hull (UK)

The Deanmiester (with a bad back) hasn't met me... yet....

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Noreen
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 08:48 AM

I hereby invite all contributors to this thread to the abovementioned power lunch, hosted by jOhn's hamster, venue and timing to be announced by said hamster when he sees fit.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Noreen
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 08:56 AM

Guest of honour to be jOhn's bear.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 08:59 AM

I'd advise against the local 'Ull delicacy of sume chips on top of pizza (sic), as this seems to enrage Wing Commander Oakley, who mounts a single-handed food riot, and usually gets a good slapping for his trouble.

As bear and hamster are off-menu, perhaps some soft-shelled crab?

Gerry

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: GUEST,Oakley enjoying a brief respite
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 09:06 AM

Good morning chums. Deanmeister, Streetfighter John was at the Foresters in June, supporting a hat. He refused bear, choosing to stick to Coke. When I next saw him, he was abandoning his car, accused me of driving a Mini "with wooden bits on it" and going to live with Harpmaker. He managed quite a few pithy quotes from Harpmaker's computer, but the author's stamp was uniquely his.

Earlier, in his considered response to Dwyle Flonking, he accused Lincolnshire of being unable to field a team of 'Catters "because there aren't many of them" (although his keyboard would have added at least a couple of 9s). Having met Gerry, a number of times - always a pleasure Banjo Flower - and being married to Gary, I was wondering how many Lincs catters exist. If that is worthy of a new thread, perhaps someone could do the honours, as my printer is running out of blue ink.

Deanmeister, I think that you are a little harsh in calling this thread drivel-strewn. Why not make it more interesting for us by explaining what you have done to your back. And why is Ossonflags remaining silent, despite Guest John's displeasure at the announcement of new members who then proceed to clam up? Where are you Mick?

The purple helmets are at large this evening oh joy of joys!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Noreen
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 09:11 AM

? Is that an 'Ull delicacy too, Gerry, or some fancy idea you brought back fronm your travels in the colonies?
*blowing you a kiss*

(no, never met this Gerry guy either)

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 09:31 AM

Ah, you know me too well, Noreen, despite the multiple identities ascribed me by he of the errant 9. It is indeed a delicacy, but not in the humid lanes of the northern Riviera, and yes, I consumed it during my trip to the colonies, in a fishing town, on a muddy river, that could quite easily have been called New Hull, but for the French evacuees from Nova Scotia that we domiciled there.

Geoff

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Noreen
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 09:32 AM

(Whereas I have met the real Gerry who sports a flower on his instrument- just in case anyone was confused by this drivel.)

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Noreen
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 09:42 AM

Not too well, Geoff....

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: GUEST,Oakley covered in cottage cheese
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 10:14 AM

This thread has got of to a very promising start. I have had to move the drivel detector onto the lawn and throw a blanket over it. I'll be at the power lunch, sporting me shoulder pads. But I suspect that the festival may clash with the Morris Minor's visit to Roscommon to record the Potato Orchestra's defining album. You should be warned that Deanmeister is a very messy eater. Honestly, the things you learn here; I didn't know that Gerry has a flower on his banjo but I don't understand yet, how he arrived at his Mudcat name. Perhaps the penny will drop soon.

I think jOhn will be along in a minute.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 01:53 PM

Come on now, Deanmeister, stop hivering and hovering and *join*, for goodness sake.
btw, John, when you get here, it's Durty Nelly's, not Dirty; yes, I know you'll blame that keyboard of yours!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 01:56 PM

I was halfway through the birth pains of "Are there any yellow Mudcatters", referring, of course, to the soubriquet "Yellow Belly" that surshelist types in 'Ull give us bogtrotting plainsmen of north Lincolnshire, when I realised that I pretty much know the answer. There's Oakers, the Bloke in the Corner, Banjo Fleadh, Doug Chadwick et moi, plus Ryan lurking. Unless, as Esther used to say, you know different.

Gazza

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Les from Hull
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 02:19 PM

I'm deeply ashamed to say that I too have met all the contributors to this thread. And I've only got a tender grip on sanity as it is!

Might I suggest that if there is a plan to have a power lunch in Hull during the Shanty Festival, that we select the Minerva, as Green Bricks isn't nearly so accommodating. Maggie and I usually invest that singaround, and there's a better choice of bitter (probably). And the landlord likes the music an' all.

We usually have an Anti-Shanty on the Saturday night. The Anti-Shanty is for local people (and their hamsters and bears and guests but not necessarily GUESTS) who don't really want a concert and aren't fed up of hearing their own voices and instruments.

For the very select few (and I mean few, and I mean select) I usually provide a power tea on the Saturday to tide us over till the Anti-Shanty. The trick is to hang around me at about 6 o'clock on the Saturday and look really hungry. Chips on pizza will not be on the menu, but I've only got about seven plates, so I can't have everyone back. The advantage is that I live near the Marina, so it's well within staggering distance.

I suppose if any of you Imps (notice how I didn't mention yeller bellies) are arriving by river, we could have a power boat lunch.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: GUEST,again
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 07:38 PM

Or a power boat launch!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 08:22 PM

Hello if you was wondering were i was I have just got back from werk,Guest The dein mister-You have met me loods of times, i been to nellies a few times when you been singing and playing your guitar, and i was talking to you at Hogsons ay the Beverley Folk Fesibal, I said hello Axeman Pete, I am John from Hull, and you said " oh, I pleesed to meet yoo" or something like that, and like Akley said I was at forresters to see punch the horse sat at the front near John the Harp.
OAkley- I didnt move in with harpmaker, i just stayed at his house one night to drink his bear.then i went home again.
Where is the other Horse Puncher anyway? I think there is four of them but i only see 3 posting here, there is another one who plays on of them squeezy things, i cant rmember what they called now, but they are like a keybord that you hold in your hands and squash it,9 Gary has got one as well) I think maybe he hasnt got a computer, or he dosent like them or something, or maybe he dosent know about madcat.john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Oaklet
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 08:25 PM

Where the buggery-bollocks is jOhn when you need him? Eating goldfish and patrolling Hull's troubled streets as a Guardian Angle, I'll wager.

Deanmeister, Join. Now.

Just an aside, what the hell do you think that the Americans (who will be posting soon) will make of this?

Have to go now, the drivel detector is likely to wake Mrs Drinkall from no. 21. By the way, a good time in Goxhill, the delightful Nicky celebrated her grade 8 violin, and I got a bit pissed. 3 hours under a purple helmet on a bicycle is universally good. And I am glad that me and Gary are wed. So I'll piss off and sleep. For a bit.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Oaklet
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 08:43 PM

jOhn, our messgages crossed, like shops in the night. There are 4 Horse Punchers, but Andy (the accordianist) may be a bit unsure of his keyboard skills, so might not be willing to post with your confidence. Or he may not have a computer. Or electricity, come to that as he hails from Cottingham, East Yorkshire, England. (That elaboration was for the Americans who might have awoken by now).

Thanks for the PM, John, ol' buddy. I will get round to speaking to Teresa, but it is a busy time, for all of the Cara members. But we all appreciate the thought. You are a nice guy! Gary sends you his very best regards. Stay off the goldfish, but keep drinking the bear.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 08:48 PM

Noreen-My hamster is called Brian, but he is not a Mudcat member (if i let him loose on this thing, he would just run up and down my keyborad posting uninteligebel gibberish).It is no good asking my hamster to yhink of a good eeting and drinking venue because he dosent talk.I will try to think of somewere good, i thought about macdonalds but you cant get any bear there, and the food is crap anyway so that is no good.john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 17 Jul 02 - 08:57 PM

Hello OAklet-I used to live in Cottingham as well, but i moved to Hull now, if you dont talk to Thersa, talk to mick instead 9 He knows her already, I think he knows Phil as well) 9 It id Phils pub but thersa runs it for him) you should have a go at that busking thing in Beberley as well you could win sume money.I think they got computers in Cottingham now, I think Willa lives in Cottingham, but im not sure really.
Dean mister- Why don't yoo join then you wont have to write your name anymore?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 04:41 AM

I think Brian has a perfect right to express himself freely, John. It is said that if you give enough monkeys enough typewriters and enough time, eventually one of them will type "Hey, hey, we're the monkeys!" Perhaps, using this method, Brian can suggest an eating house for us power tea.

Is "keybord that you hold in your hands and squash it,9" a personal organiser? Mine isn't working very well. By the way, they haven't got computers in Cottingham yet.

Garfield

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 04:47 AM

Hello Gavin-I never heard that one about the munkeys before, there is definetley some words of wisdom in this thread.john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 05:50 AM

"Keybord that you hold in your hands and squash it,9" was a fine sequel to "Keybord that you hold in your hands and squash it,8" starring Johnny DeppO. Oh God, the drivel detector is twitching and wincing again. I suspect that I hear the sound of klaxons any minute. jOhn, were you working at the curry house, or patrolling the alleyways of Fishville as a Guardian Angle last night?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 06:58 AM

Is it twitching under the tarpaulin, David, or has Mr Pettifer from No.42 demanded that you remove it to the house?

Gary, Indiana.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 07:41 AM

Every time I start one of these, its capacitors start to hum, and the compressor kicks in. Mrs Drinkall at no 21 strayed into my garden this morning and prodded it with her cudgel, but I had to hide behind the Oakley garage, as I was naked at the time and didn't want to startle her. Oh dear, it is now gearing up and the hoses have had a spasm.

You might be pleased to know, that tomorrow, Ossonflags is having his ears syringed, in the absense of ear candles. In June last year, at a Punch the Horse gig in Grimsby, I had the candle treatment and ended up with enough wax to make a pretty convincing model of the Space Shuttle Discovery, with enough left over to underseal the bottom of the Traveller.

Ossenflags, you have a legal entitlement to retain the contents of your lugs. Please bring it round in a bucket, so I can have a good prod about. Jeesus, have you ever tried to type with a klaxon blaring and Mrs Drinkall hammering on the wall with a ship's propeller? I think that I'll become American; they don't seem to heve this problem when they take over the drivel watch in the small hours. I am now going to attempt to disable that bloody appliance so that I can start to drivel unhindered.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Banjo-Flower
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 08:26 AM

It's obvious North Lincs is going for quality instead quantity joHn 9it's just a pity we can't match your keyboard dexterity9

Gerald

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 11:54 AM

Oaklet-I was working in the curry shop.john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 12:45 PM

Re the ear candles -perhaps at the next treatment someone could sculpture a model of Mrs Drinkall's cudgel from the waxy deposits? Anyhoo, I must recommend the power tea at Les's -so near to the Marina so far from reality.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Oaklet
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 01:42 PM

I worry about the Americans seeing this, when they arrive to take up the drivel vigil. They might think that we are not taking this seriously enough and we might get banned. Or our postings might become de-emphasized or non-proritizable or however they would put it. By the way, I have never seen nets so grey (or gray) as those at no 21. Shit! I thought I had disabled that bloody contraption, it appears to have a reserve klaxon, damn it.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: brid widder
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 02:20 PM

as a late arrival at the drivel masters ball could I suggest you all come to my house for a power barbecue tomorrow... it's my birthday & I need cheering up...!!!jOhn I'm easy to find... I live near beberley rerd... you could bring Brian... I'll provide the breadcake

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Les from Hull
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 05:03 PM

Oakley - I'm getting my ears done next Wednesday, so do you want me to collect anything that drivels out? Actually I've got this theory that the fierce Sons of The Viking that once inhabited the banks of the Humber discovered America by sailing there in an earwax canoe. Of course it wasn't called America then, they referred to it as Lugland. So if you've got a couple of weekends free we could paddle over there with a few beads for the natives.

brid widder - John has seems to know where to get 'some bear', so it might be worth extending the barbecue. I've a feeling it could be just roadkill, though.

Maggie and I still don't have our arrangements made for this weekend. She's working til half past nine Friday, she might be working Saturday, so Friday night might be difficult for her. I'm juggling the Kingston with your Barbie - I'll like to be bi-locational. So I or we might see you is the best offer you'll get so far. Happy Berthday for termorrer anyhow, kiddo!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 05:29 PM

Whoever reads this is likely to think we're 'ulliterate, or wonder what the 'ull we're drivelling on about!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: brid widder
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 05:42 PM

OOO I hope so... I've got sume bear but no pizza...I also have some bugger off big ear candles... they're two foot long & smell nice.... citronella I think...form an orderly queue

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 06:11 PM

John, I think Oaklet is an apt applet to The Artist Formerly Known As Oakley, given that he's lost 37% of his body fat index by literally burning off fat (or wax) and nekkid bicycling. Despite an heroic carbo-stacking backlash, he continues to waste away before our eyes, until all that remains of this crisp of spontaneous human combustion is a couple of brownish yellow (and isn't it a sumptuous colour?) wicks smouldering from his f holes.

If ever a man neede fortifying bear, it's him. What's it like curried?

Gary Gilmore

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Oaklet
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 06:46 PM

Speaking as someone who once saved £3 on wallpaper paste, by decorating when suffering from bronchitis, I can see the virtue in saving anything that drivels out of any orifice and salting it away, just in case. My vaults and Mrs Drinkall's are stuffed with the stuff. So Les, I am OK for earwax at the moment but you should keep it in case you want to enliven that piece of occasional pine furniture nestling in your house by the Morris. And I think Les, that you'll find the word is JIGGLING, if you refer to the busking thread by our friend down the road.

Brid widder, I would love to appear at the barbeque (and many happy returns) but I am doing a Maxwell on the weekend, from a certain boat with the missus. And me other great mate Ryan, who hasn't posted yet. But will.

Gary, I am now at me fighting weight. Tonight I drove to have a drink with a female person with enormous bussoms and red hair. It was a quality chat, but she was awkward about having a drink with a bloke with 37% knocked off - she was suspicious that the goods might have been previously handled.

It is great to drivel without the detector kicking off at every keystroke; I am still worried about the end of this shift and making things nice and tidy for those earnest American fellers. Still they can't have everything their own way, can they?

GUEST, I think that you would pass jOhn's locality continuum protocol assessment scenario analysis, as those across the pond would say. You should join. If you do, I will announce you and enrage the other guest who is unhappy about that sort of thing.

Am a bit worried about the weight loss, Gary. But secretly, so please don't mention it.

Ear candles that are two foot long, are brain candles and are designed for the American market. Now, I somehow miss the detector so I am going to start tinkering with complicated apparatus, but I will hang about in case jOhn stops by.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Banjo-Flower
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 07:40 PM

hI johN can you remember the Beberley sisters or that great American t v series The Beberley Billhillies?

Gerry

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Oaklet
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 07:49 PM

The thing is now re-assembled, and hissing expectantly in the corner. Test: my Dad used to breed spaniels. Christ, Mrs. Drinkall will be reaching for the propeller any minute. It is good to drivel, but as always, the drivel is in the detail. Shit! The Americans have turned up and the klaxons are still blaring. Until tomorrow then. A stressful post, that.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Banjo-Flower
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 07:54 PM

That 'ull DEP is a rip off I paid sick squid to get in and there was'nt even any chips or pizza

Gerry

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Oaklet
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 08:02 PM

You can't fool me Gerry, the capital letter at the start reveals you to be an imposter. Mind you, the "Gerry" bit at the end is a bit of a give-away as well. In fact, the "Banjo-Flower" bit should have sent the alarm bells ringing. Where do you think the man is tonight? He can look (or llok) after himself though, so he should be OK. ARE YOU THERE JOHN?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Banjo-Flower
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 08:25 PM

O shucks (is that American enough for you)exposed again by the myopic Oakley who can't even see the profusion of Rosa Florabundi(canali) on the skin of my banjo

Gerry

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 08:34 PM

Hello, Oaklet, I am here.I have just got back from werk and I am eating my staff meal, it is chicken again.Chicken, chicken chicken, I am fed up witth chicken, I had it for the last few days, but I have got a good plan =tommorow I will have an argument with my boss and tell him I am leaving, every time I hav done this before, he has begged me to stay and cooked me steak and chips, and given me 5 pounds.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Banjo-Flower
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 08:45 PM

I've e-mailed your boss and this time he's going to give you five pounds of chicken

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 18 Jul 02 - 08:58 PM

Oh, I think i will not tell uou my plan next time.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Oaklet
Date: 19 Jul 02 - 01:56 AM

Gerry, I don't know whether you should consult with a dermatologist or genito-urinary specicialist, if you've get rosa floribundi on the skin of your banjo, but you should get it looked at, however embarrasing.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 19 Jul 02 - 02:29 AM

hEllo Oaklet-You get up eerly today 9 it is only 7 AM), I ave just read this thread again in case i missed any important bits.Give our congrachulations to Nicky for passing her exam, is that the nicky with the car with 3 wheels? Brid widder, i would like to go to youre barber queue, but i have to go to werk becose I am really skint.but i might take sume pizzas 9 Sometimes peeople order them just to mess about and they get thrown away, ) if this happens i will take them to you. I think it is the second house on the corner.Les-You have got more plates than me, i have only got 4, i had 6 but I broke 2 of them 9 I went to Les' house one day, he has got loads of books about boats and shops, 9 and cricket) he "said hello john, sit down," so I looked around and i noticed there wasn't a chair, 9 they all had books on them) I think he has got a big model of a boat as well, but i am not sure, it could be somebody else down Chanterlands Ave.There is a folk session at the Blavk Boy in High Steet on Sunday at 2 Pm on Sunday, I saw it in the paper, I might go if I wake up.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 19 Jul 02 - 02:33 AM

I just read my last message again, and it is a bit confusing, I meant the other person on Chants Ave 9not Les) I cant remember his name now.