BS: bbc has moved

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved
From: bbc
Date: 21 Aug 03 - 10:47 AM

When are you coming to visit, Kendall? Now that I've had my 1st guest, I'm ready! As of August 31st, I have a guest room.

bbc

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved
From: Alice
Date: 21 Aug 03 - 11:55 AM

That is great news, Barbara. It is wonderful to hear all the successes along the way of establishing your new home.

All the best,

Alice

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved
From: Art Thieme
Date: 21 Aug 03 - 01:02 PM

Barbara,

You deserve a hell of a lot of CREDIT. You are making it work---and that's truly admirable. What an amazing adventure we're all on. The QUEST IS THE GRAIL !!!

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved
From: kendall
Date: 21 Aug 03 - 01:07 PM

Right on Art!
bbc, I'll test your new septic tank one of these days!

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved
From: kendall
Date: 21 Aug 03 - 04:20 PM

It's hardly a village, but I liked London. Parts of it are run down and dirty, but the place has a certain panache that you don't find just anywhere.
I also liked Aldershot, and that little town in Yorkshire where we went to the festival. Dave the Gnome forced me to drink spiced rum, so, don't recall the name.
By the by Dave, I still have your little torch

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved
From: kendall
Date: 21 Aug 03 - 04:23 PM

How the hell did I get this in this thread? It belongs in the prettiest village

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 03 - 04:53 PM

Skipper, something is dr-a-w-w-w---i--i-i-i-ing you to BBC's place!!   Watch Ouuuuutttt!! :>)

A

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved
From: kendall
Date: 21 Aug 03 - 09:25 PM

I'm not afraid of republicans!

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved
From: Guy Wolff
Date: 21 Aug 03 - 09:53 PM

Hey Barbara, Now your even closer to the pottery.! Come visit when you want to get out.Ill give you a house warming flowerpot ... Im right on the Litchfield Wahington line on rt 202 nr the intersection of 341. Lots of love Guy

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved
From: bbc
Date: 21 Aug 03 - 10:31 PM

Hey, Guy,

What a nice offer! Yes, it had crossed my mind that I am closer now. As soon as Jay goes off to school & I get a handle on my library lessons (& before the snow falls!), I'd love to visit. Now, where are those directions I used to have?!!!

Kendall, you made me laugh.

Art--you are such a sweetheart. It's been such a pleasure getting to know you!

BTW, I *did* get the lawn mown, all by myself! :) I know it sounds like no big deal, but it was the 1st time I've done it in 6 years. Made me tired & hot, but it felt good, just the same! I made something for dinner just for me & I smiled.

Folks, thanks for all your loving kindness!

bbc

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved
From: Alice
Date: 21 Aug 03 - 10:56 PM

Barbara, what are the colors of the decor in your house - living room walls, drapes, etc?

Alice

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved
From: bbc
Date: 21 Aug 03 - 11:48 PM

Decor, Alice, what's that? Just joking, although I'm not much of a decorator. The livingroom has rust wall-to-wall carpeting & a field stone hearth that covers one wall. I have a loveseat & chair w/ brown, beige, rust,olive, & deep blue plaid, plus an olive recliner. The mistress bedroom has powder blue wall-to-wall. I tend toward wood & earth tones & am simple & informal in my style (if style it can be called!). Livingroom walls are off-white/beige. Bedroom is blue, although that will change, if I get motivated. I'm not much of a painter. The drapes in the livingroom are a kind of nasty gold. Again, time & motivation may change that.

That's it; I need a decorator! Anyone volunteering to visit & give my house a make-over? Remember, after August 31st, I have quite a nice guest room! :)

Barbara

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved
From: Guy Wolff
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 07:07 PM

Wolff Pottery is on rt 202 just east of the intersection with 341 on the boarder between Washington and Litchfield Ct. Im sorry I hadnt seen you were a Fan of Lui Colins . We did a concert together last week . We havent played togther for 25 years and it sounded like we never stopped. I think you would have had fun. When we do it again I'll let everyone here know. Hope to see you soon . My teliphone is 860/868/2858 if you need it .. Al the best , Guy

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved
From: bbc
Date: 24 Aug 03 - 09:51 PM

Thanks for the info on location, etc., Guy. As soon as I get my son off to college & I settle into school a little myself, I'll get in touch. Yes, I just saw your other thread. I would have loved to hear you & Lui together. Perhaps another time--great!

Looking forward to meeting another Mudcat friend in person!

best,

Barbara

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved--1-year update!
From: bbc
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 08:40 AM

One year ago, today, I moved into my new house. To say that a lot has happened this year seems like an understatement! In addition to moving from the house where I raised my kids & lived for 21 years, I ended a major relationship & resumed another one. I believe that both were good choices. Resuming my relationship w/ Rick, however, has caused quite a bit of upheaval in how I view my life. I bought this house expecting to be here forever & alone. Now, I suspect that is unlikely. I will probably rethink my location when my younger son graduates from college in 3 years.

Status report on the house, etc.--I was shocked to find that Copake is very isolated! I knew that I was moving close to work & I still like that--a beautiful, relaxing 20-25 minute commute on easy roads. The problem w/ beautiful & relaxing scenery is that there are not enough doctors for the population & that any major stores are some distance away (good food stores are a half-hour away & the closest mall is approx. an hour away). I was somewhat embarrassed that I evidently didn't do enough research to realize those facts. In addition, I still haven't found a church within reasonable driving distance that I want to attend. For me, this is the biggest problem & I haven't discovered the solution to it. Weekend time is at a premium w/ my kids 1 hour North & Rick 1 hour South. By this time, I have finally found adequte medical care, I think, but it has been a struggle. Between moving in July & starting to see Rick again in October, I was laying the framework for making local friends & living w/out a significant other. As soon as Rick came back into the picture, however, I stopped making connections w/ others, because I have very little time. So, I haven't gotten to know my neighbors &, since I don't have a church, I really haven't gotten to know any local people. I feel isolated & that's bad. I have a couple of close friends at work & have needed to impose on them a couple of times when I needed rides, but I'd feel better to have more people in my life. The house itself still needs more work, although I got all of the urgent stuff done quite quickly. There are still things in boxes in the basement that probably won't get unpacked unless I get some shelves constructed down there. I'm not completely happy w/ the set-up of my computer room, the livingroom, or my bedroom in terms of furniture. The house is very small. Perhaps, it is too small. It seemed like the right decision at the time, but I may have overreacted to the large house I previously owned that I couldn't manage by myself. I still like the area. When I've been away somewhere, I start to smile as I see the familiar scenery. It really *is* beautiful--the lakes, fields, & mountains. I own my house without a mortgage & it feels good to finally have some financial stability. My job is getting harder each year & is stressful, but I suspect I won't lose it. I have just completed my 6th year in the district. In 11-12 years, I should be able to retire & actually have enough money to live on! In this past year, I've seen the Patons regulary (They live 20 minutes from me), have visited Guy Wolff (wonderful!), & have firmly established a phone friendship w/ a fellow Mudcatter.

Goals for the future--Make decisions on landscaping (currently, I have crushed rock!), get some exterior painting done, decide how to maximize space/usability of computer room, livingroom, & mistress bedroom. There are things like interior painting, replacing the floor covering in the kitchen & the wall-to-wall carpeting that I may never get to, although it might be nice.

Am I glad I moved here? Yes & no. I'm glad I left the previous house. Overall, this one works better for me. I've discovered, however (duh!) that no house/location is perfect. This is the 1st one I chose for just me & that was satisfying. I find that I have no problems w/ living alone for the 1st time in my life. I may have made some mistakes. Let's hope I learn from them. Perhaps I'll choose another home in the future & do better. For now, all things considered, I'm pretty content.

Family update--My older son graduated from college & has his 1st job, 1st car, & 1st apartment about an hour from me. My younger son has completed his 1st year of college. All good!

Thanks for all of your support. Moving here turned out to be a severe & unexpected culture shock for a suburban girl. Your help is really appreciated!

love,

Barbara

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved
From: SINSULL
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 01:25 PM

bbc,
Look on the bright side, you are making all your own decisions for yourself. More importantly, you are young enough and flexible enough to understand that no decision is permanent. You can up and move if and when the mood strikes and be responsible for your own happiness.

Take stock of what you love about this home. There are things you will not be willing to forgo in a new place. While in it, make it your home not just the place where you sleep.

Life is very good.
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 04:15 PM

Blessings on your anniaversary, dear! I've been in a similarly rural place for 2 years now and I don't ever want to leave. But getting connected to the community was what did it for me. May you too find those ways to connect!

Love,
Allison

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved
From: wysiwyg
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 04:36 PM

We took up our rual outpost about 10 years ago. I can't imagine leaving, now that we just about feel like part of things. It only took that long because we were a bit slow in learning how to let the people here help us fit in. My advice is, pick one person to confide in about the feeling of isolation, and ask them to show you the way out of it. And learn who is who's cousin, and who the main families are. In our area, that's all matriarchal, so the names don't make it easy as all the women gave up their maiden names, but I dunno how it is where you are!

And music. Universal neighbor-maker. Make music and you will make friends.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved
From: bbc
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 10:18 PM

Thanks, friends. From your responses, it seems that I sounded more negative than I really feel. I was all set to fit in, but I find that, between my kids being an hour north & my sweetheart being more than an hour south & all three only being available on weekends, I don't have a lot of discretionary time. It was mostly Rick resurfacing from my past that threw me for a loop. In my mind, I was all set to live a solitary life. Just as I started, I was no longer alone. My outlook is pretty positive; it's just that, yet again, life isn't turning out as I expected it would.

bbc

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved
From: mg
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 11:54 PM

if they live an hour north and south, it sounds like you are in the ideal place then. Do they drive at least part of the time to visit you, or take the bus or carpool?

As for the arrangement of the house, just list the details of what you are trying to do and you will be flooded with suggestions. For painting the exterior, try to get one side painted this summer; not the front. Then next summer try for maybe two sides. The four of you working together or even separately can get a lot done.

Do not allow your house to be a storage facility for your sons. Have them rent something if necessary. Don't pick up stuff at garage sales for their future apartments etc...in case you are inclined in that direction. Pare down as much as possible. mg

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved
From: bbc
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 07:42 AM

Thanks, Mary. My sons usually don't come to me. Most of the activities Rick & I do are from his area, since he lives in a more populated area. Thankfully, the house has aluminum siding, so painting the whole thing isn't an issue--just trim & such. And no, I am not storing much stuff for the kids. It's mostly just that *I* have too much on my own account! I'm off on another trip today--another reason I'm not getting much done at home, but fun!

Barbara

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved--3 years later
From: bbc
Date: 27 Apr 06 - 10:44 AM

3-year update on my move to rural New York--

For some reason (probably because I'm home sick & have time), I did a search on the people who call me "beebs." One hit led me back to this thread from 3 years ago, as I was making the transition from a large house in a suburban area to a small house in a rural area, living alone for the 1st time in my life.

There have been many changes in my life in the past 3 years (duh). The 1st 6 months or so in the new location were very hard for me. The house needed a lot of work & I had no connections to help me get it done & little time/ability to do it myself. I really wondered if I'd made a terrible mistake in moving. Literally, the only thing that stayed the same in my life was my job & it wasn't going particularly well. In fact, I got colitis that year from the stress.

Now, I can say with relative confidence that I am feeling pretty settled & happy w/ my decisions. After getting the work done on my house that had to be done, I've moved on, progressively, to things that have made the house more my own--new appliances, some new furniture, new tile in the kitchen, & even a gorgeous sunroom to replace the rotting deck. There are still boxes in the basement (Maybe I'll get to them this summer!), I still have the worn wall-to-wall carpeting, & no interior painting has been done. Guess that says something about my priorities/abilities. (Any volunteers to help? I'll cook for you.) I've found doctors nearby & local plumber, electrician, etc. My life is quiet, but pretty satisfying.

I am living as a single, middle-aged woman. This was a transition for me, too. I was brought up to be married & always expected to be so. Life hasn't turned out that way & I finally find that I am ok w/ it. After the 1st year, I settled on a church where I'm needed, if not completely satisfied. I participate as a single in a local square dance club & attend concerts & am part of the planning committee in an area folk music club. I go to a few folk events each year. Work has gone well for the past couple of years &, as far as anyone can say, I think my job is fairly secure. I have regular phone & email friends who keep me company in the evenings when I need some contact. My kids both live just an hour away & I see them regularly. Most social things I do are now an hour away, but the scenery is pretty & the traffic is light. As I drive back from away, I find myself quite content to be heading home. This is not the life I expected, but I'd say it's all good. Just wanted to share that. I thank you all for the support you've been to me through the past 7 years or so. I appreciate you.

love,

barbara

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Apr 06 - 10:56 AM

I still have lots of unpacked cartons in the eaves of my house. If we haven't used the stuff in 3-5 years, maybe it's time to dump it.

You looked great at NEFFA, bbc. The best I have ever seen you. Maybe the single life agrees with you.
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved
From: katlaughing
Date: 27 Apr 06 - 11:00 AM

Wow, I didn't realise it's already been that long and had forgotten Brett moved to Guam about the same time!

Congratulations and give yourself another pat on the back! And, save the boxes for wintertime; that's what I am doing. Summer is too nice of a time to spend indoors.:-)

We've been in our place for four years, now and are just getting to the interior painting; scraping the outside in preparation for painting; AND, finally have it all to ourselves as the dau. and grandkid just moved out!

You have a lot of courage, bbc, and it is wonderful of you to share your journey with us. Thanks!

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved
From: MMario
Date: 27 Apr 06 - 11:31 AM

I saw this thread pop up and thought "Again?"

Glad you are settled into the rural life, it can be quite a change.

We had a bunch of "city kids" up last fall for my niece's wedding - and they just couldn't believe some of the things we "locals" take for granted - like:

the "next door neighbor" being a half mile down the road

having to drive 2 miles to pick up cell phone service

no Thai, Greek, Moroccan, Mexican, etc restauraunts within several hours drive

no public transportation

no taxies

the impact a very few "visitors" can have on a community

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved
From: bbc
Date: 28 Apr 06 - 12:04 PM

Thanks for your comments & good wishes, friends. Sometimes, it's nice to see how someone is faring, to give perspective on our own life. I'm certainly enjoying following Brett's experiences in Guam!

best,

bbc

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 28 Apr 06 - 07:20 PM

(((HUGS)))

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Apr 06 - 12:11 AM

Barb: It sounds to me as though you have a pretty good life. I'm happy for you. You are a super lady in my opinion.
Love,
DougR

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved
From: bbc
Date: 29 Apr 06 - 07:47 AM

Hey, Doug, when did you become a guest? I've been glad to see your life going in good directions, too.

love,

Barbara

Subject: RE: BS: bbc has moved
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Apr 06 - 12:34 PM

Guess I lost my cookie, Barb. First time that has happened. You know how fond I am of folks who sign in as "Guest." :>)

DougR