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BS: Internet Romance, watch out!
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: Allan C. Date: 19 Jan 01 - 09:10 AM "Her heels rise for me..." - Jefferson Airplane No, Bonnie. But you have raised an interesting point. *G* |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: Naemanson Date: 19 Jan 01 - 09:25 AM For those who don't want to believe what Kendall said about the chainsaw suicide, it happened in the next town over from here, only a block or two away from where one of my coworkers lives. The suicide was from away. |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: Little Neophyte Date: 19 Jan 01 - 09:39 AM Allan, I have risen my heels enough to sense my feet feel an unnatural strain. Its time I allow someone to meet me at a natural reach. Sort of like the saying.....if they meet me at the fence, I'll show up but I ain't going to hop over it to go find them. Little Neo |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: kendall Date: 19 Jan 01 - 09:55 AM Trouble? Neo, ..life is trouble, only death is not. A man should undo his belt and look for trouble.(Zorba the Greek) By the way, the way you fly around, it would take an athlete to catch you! |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: Allan C. Date: 19 Jan 01 - 10:02 AM Aye, Kendall. But what a lucky man he would be! |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: GUEST,Marty at work Date: 19 Jan 01 - 11:56 AM I read the newspaper survey that 'once burned' talks about, and I think the awful statistics are a bit misleading. Most of the people who told their stories seemed very damaged to me. I think they were willing to believe anything they were told, if there was a chance to relieve their lonliness. It's easy to be lied to if you're desperate. Also, you've got to be awfully angry at someone to go public if you feel you've been humiliated or lied to. I would think that the vast majority of people who found good relationships thru the net couldn't be bothered with futility surveys. Besides, humans say things at one am. they don't mean in the light of day. A few Presidents probably have. M |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: mousethief Date: 19 Jan 01 - 11:59 AM Lookin' fer love in all the wrong places Lookin' fer love in cyberspace is Dicey, just like lookin' fer love Alex |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: flattop Date: 19 Jan 01 - 01:10 PM I did advocate for the 8% solutions, however, I must warn you that you can't be too careful. Lots can go wrong in the wired wooing world. First of all, what's this crap implying that mudcatters are less risky than other internet users? Would you and I be here if mudcat didn't have a high tolerance for mental illness? And you should take Calach's warnings seriously. In spite of his posting a strange picture of himself to mudcat, T2D seems to have kept on hitting the submit button. Him in Edinburgh, her in Kansas, now there's a rough road to row. And both bodhran players, Jesus, be careful out there folks. |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: mousethief Date: 19 Jan 01 - 01:17 PM I believe, flattop, the expression is a rough "row to hoe." I think Jesus is always pretty careful. But that's a question for another thread. Alex |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: Mrs.Duck Date: 19 Jan 01 - 01:43 PM I met Geoff in a pub. I told him I was beautiful and clever. We've been married just over two years so I hope he hasn't spotted the lies yet! |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: kendall Date: 19 Jan 01 - 01:54 PM Marty is right |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: flattop Date: 19 Jan 01 - 02:11 PM Good thing Geoff in a pub is not as sharp as mousethief, Mrs. Duck. Sometimes I'm not sure what I garbled. Could have been 'All roads leading to Rome are paved with good intentions' or 'a Roland for your Oliver' or perhaps I meant to write 'The higher the monkey climbs the more he shows his arse.' |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: Jim Krause Date: 19 Jan 01 - 03:03 PM I'd agree that the old fashioned way is the best. Anyhow, it worked for me. And after all these years, she STILL has that look in her eye. |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: mousethief Date: 19 Jan 01 - 04:24 PM Jim, has she tried Visene? |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: Peter T. Date: 19 Jan 01 - 05:21 PM I met Rick Fielding through the Mudcat, and he is everything he said he would be and more. yours, Peter T.(Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonial) |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: Amergin Date: 19 Jan 01 - 05:26 PM Yeah but did you date him? |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: paddymac Date: 20 Jan 01 - 01:22 AM I suspect that we all form opinions or views of people we interact with here, much the way we do in the real world. There are some we like, some we don't, and some for whom we just don't form an opinion at all. But this is not a destination site for people seeking sex, and the topic seems never to arise in a solicitation mode. There are many fine contributors here whose gender is unknown, and unimportant to their mudcat participation. I can say that I love most of the people here, but don't have sexual fantasies about them (well, except, maybe, for-- ):>) Our band is booked to play a wedding recption for a couple who met on-line. I've met them both in the real world, think highly of them, and wish them the best of luck. |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: Rick Fielding Date: 20 Jan 01 - 01:36 AM Well Amergin, it's a long story. Yah see Peter is one of these spiritual guys who refuses to get a TV. After the honeymoon, I'd be sittin' there at home waiting for him to come back from South America (or wherever he goes to solve their irrigation problems) and since I wouldn't be able to watch Seinfeld re-runs, I'd probably be tartin' m'self up and goin' down to the local bar to pick up sailors....and Peter being such a straight-laced guy, well he wouldn't like it...and before long he'd blow my head off with one of his AK 47s.....nah, I don't think we'll do much datin'. I think I'd better stick with Heather(Duckboots). She's got much better legs, and just goes upstairs when I turn on the wacky adventures of Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer. Now if I was female.....I think Peter would be quite a catch! He does look like Sir George martin......with a touch of Jerry Lewis thrown in! Rick P.S. Oh, about this thread: If you're dealing with someone on the internet for more than a few days, and you can't pick up danger signs.....You don't WANT to.
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: katlaughing Date: 20 Jan 01 - 03:16 AM Main Chainsaw Suicide makes Darwin Awards |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: kendall Date: 20 Jan 01 - 08:15 AM Former champ George Foreman has 3 or 4 boys all named George too. He's not a Lunatic. |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: Naemanson Date: 20 Jan 01 - 10:33 AM I dunno Kendall. Anyone who goes, by choice, into a ring to batter another human being into a bloody pulp while being watched by millions of bloodcrazed boxing fans could not exactly be called sane, could he? |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: kendall Date: 20 Jan 01 - 11:05 AM testosterone poisoning thats all. I used to do some boxing, am I a lunatic? |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: kendall Date: 20 Jan 01 - 11:05 AM testosterone poisoning thats all. I used to do some boxing, am I a lunatic? Gave it up, because I had no desire to hurt anyone without good reason. |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: Peter T. Date: 20 Jan 01 - 11:21 AM Our relations are strictly Aristotelian. yours, Peter T. |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: flattop Date: 20 Jan 01 - 04:13 PM Peter, perhaps you need to read Count Alfred Korzybski's book Science and Sanity which presents an approach to non-Aristotelian thinking. It was based on papers he presented at your University of Toronto in the 1930s. |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: JenEllen Date: 20 Jan 01 - 04:44 PM Are you sure you mean 'romance' and not 'cheap thrill'? It's pretty hard to consider it romance when both parties hide their hearts behind a screen. I'd like to be where I can see the twinkle in your eye, thanks very much!
It was just a brief encounter ~Elle |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: Matt_R Date: 20 Jan 01 - 07:04 PM HEY, some of us take it any way we can. |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: kendall Date: 20 Jan 01 - 07:14 PM others, not at all.. |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: JenEllen Date: 20 Jan 01 - 07:38 PM No Matt, all of us take it any way we choose to. There is more than just a little bit of determinism in the mix, here. You can hang your hat on something that is never going to happen, but generally all that leaves you with is a cold head. ~Elle
A fine romance with no kisses |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: Matt_R Date: 20 Jan 01 - 07:52 PM 'Never going to happen'? There is no way you can know that for sure. No one can ever understand, except me and her. We ignore the naysayers.
Never cared for what they say
So close, no matter how far |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: Allan C. Date: 20 Jan 01 - 08:42 PM I believe that I have developed numerous friendships online. I feel that I am good friends with a few people I have never yet met. I can well imagine that love could be nurtured to some degree in the same way. But, at the end of the day, there is no substitute for face-to-face contact. There are many, many subtleties that a careful reader can pick up on in the written word. But as JenEllen points out, facial expressions can tell mountains of information with never a word being spoken. In this medium we are using right here, right now, there is no such thing as looking up and noticing that someone has been watching you from across the room. There is no sweet scent of patchouli marking the spot where she stood. There is no slight crinkle in her cheek as she smiles. And the silver cascade of her laughter... I prefer "live and in person". I will put up with cyber friendships, for example, because all too often a face-to-face encounter is not in the cards at present. |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: JenEllen Date: 20 Jan 01 - 08:46 PM A toast to Allan. Well put, my friend. |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: Matt_R Date: 20 Jan 01 - 08:56 PM "...looking up and noticing that someone has been watching you from across the room. There is no sweet scent of patchouli marking the spot where she stood. There is no slight crinkle in her cheek as she smiles. And the silver cascade of her laughter... " That may be all fine and dandy for YOU people, but these things are TOTALLY foreign to me. Live and in person SUCKS. It does nothing for me whatsoever. What's so great about watching people walk away from you all the time? Plus, I recently foundout that a lot of people 'assumed' I was gay. So, I wish all you "beautiful people" would stop knocking something you don't understand. |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: Little Neophyte Date: 20 Jan 01 - 09:01 PM Elle & Allan you have both expressed how I also feel. For me a real romance must be experienced on a physical plane in the presences of one on one communication. Otherwise it is too close to fantacy for my likings. Fantacy is not real nor is it 'my thing'. Where is the watching a sunset, gazing at an open fire, looking up at the stars late at night, seeing the northern lights, holding hands on a porch swing, crying on each others shoulder and laughing over silly things until you can't breath ......this is romance to me. I love my cyberspace friendships but having a true romance is another story. Bonnie |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: Allan C. Date: 20 Jan 01 - 09:16 PM Matt, the sad thing is that you don't seem to have experienced the good part of romance in the real world. I am sorry if that is the case. It is a beautiful thing. Yes, it can also rip out your heart and stomp on it when it goes sour. That is real life. Nobody ever said that life is easy. Nothing worth keeping alive is easy. EVERYTHING worth keeping alive hurts like hell when it is gone - even in cyberspace. |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: JenEllen Date: 20 Jan 01 - 10:42 PM Once again, Allan captures it perfectly. Matt, it doesn't have a damn thing to do with being one of the 'beautiful people'--whatever the hell THAT is--*bg* There is a girl out there who will melt your heart. And if you are really lucky, you'll be in the same room when she does it. In the early days, you'll not be able to get enough of each other. Every grin she sends your way will make your socks roll up and down, and yours will do the same for her. Don't sell yourself short. But this also means that you cannot confuse an occasional thought or note as real romance. This medium allows you to put your best forward, to be sure, but that's not where the fun of romance IS. Internet romance would be the Tramp sending Lady an e-card of spaghetti. Real romance is that 'Bella Notte'. The two seperately, in and of themselves, are just fine. But I'd take a Ragu Nuzzle over the other any day of the week. I know someday you'll have the same choice. ~Luv, Elle |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: CarolC Date: 21 Jan 01 - 05:51 AM But romance is not necessarily a good precursor to partnership, either. And at the end of the day, I'd rather have a good partner than a romance. Now, if I can have a good romance with a good partner, that's even better. Sometimes romance can get in the way of finding out the important little things about a person that are crucial to a good partnership. In a romance, the focus is more on superficial considerations, the things that make the heart race. A good partner will love you when you're at your least appealing, as well as when you're at your most appealing. I think that whatever method produces good results is a good thing. If some people find partners who are a good match for them on-line, and if good and satisfying relationships result, that's good. And good is good. We need more of it. Carol |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: Micca Date: 21 Jan 01 - 06:37 AM but also, lets not decry this medium as a means of keeping contact and sharing when you have already shared some of the face to face things , but are, for pragmatic reasons, separated in space. It means that you can carry on the dialogue, being close without being near, and also it encourages communication. Communication is the KEY to romance, and relationships, and lying is not communication, ever. I have made many friends here, and some I have met face to face and the preparation that the dialogue from here has made to the the real space meetings was crucial and made it very easy and wonderful things. " Love is you and love is me Love is a prison and love is free love's whats there when you're away from me Love is.... |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: Matt_R Date: 21 Jan 01 - 09:44 AM Elle, I already found her. |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: harpgirl Date: 21 Jan 01 - 09:55 AM ...Noel Gallagher's getting divorced, Matt... |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: Katcina Date: 22 Jan 01 - 10:10 AM Because of many circumstances, not the least of which are my rural home and the fact that I do not go to bars unescorted, I have found the internet to be a most satisfactory means of meeting people of both sexes. I have met from the worst to the best and everything in between and find that people are just people no matter where you may meet them. I take everything told to me with a large grain of salt and then I am seldom dissapointed in the meeting atleast. Occasionally there is a spark that requires more investigating and future meetings, but even if that doesn't happen it is always fun meeting new people and learning a little about what they are about. I learned long ago to never take life too seriously or you forget how to have fun, and that should include any internet experiences. |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: GUEST,Matt_R Date: 22 Jan 01 - 10:26 AM I know, Harpie. Him and Meg have been seperated for several months now. I read my Oasis news everyday. What that has to do with the internet... |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: harpgirl Date: 22 Jan 01 - 01:20 PM ...I just meant Matt, that even when your love is by your side on a daily basis, staying together is a big struggle for at least half of the married people in the world. Trying to maintain a relationship over the internet without being in that person's presence day to day is very difficult, I think. But I am rooting for you if that is what you are doing!...your friend, harp |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: hesperis Date: 22 Jan 01 - 07:24 PM I met someone in person, but communicated with him a lot over the net. It really deepened our understanding of each other. From the writings, we could see the values that the other holds. Sometimes, speech is confusing. Sometimes people wish to believe that they have they same values you do, especially if they're attracted to you. If they're lying to themselves too, you often can't tell it from their body language. I am clearer in writing than in speech, in fact, in person I am rather quiet and shy. And sometimes it is a struggle to keep any relationship going and still know who you are. That has nothing to do with internet or non-internet. You are more likely to find love that's deep, if you are not desperate about it. If you can be happy by yourself, doing your own thing. Maybe you are still lonely, but you are ok with that. Then you can meet another person as an equal, but different, human being. And sometimes love doesn't last. If it was a deep love once, it's still love. If you are desperate, work on enjoying yourself for who you are, because nobody really wants someone who's desperate to be saved from their own company. |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: kendall Date: 22 Jan 01 - 07:47 PM Him and her Matt? |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: Matt_R Date: 22 Jan 01 - 07:48 PM Stow it, dimple-boy. |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: kendall Date: 22 Jan 01 - 08:07 PM correct it grammar expert! |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: Matt_R Date: 22 Jan 01 - 08:12 PM ok, "Meg and he." Satisfied? |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: Jande Date: 22 Jan 01 - 10:07 PM So far, it looks like I'm in the 8% bracket. James and I "met" 2 years ago on a newsgroup I was a regular on and were immediately attacted to the heart and mind of one another. A year and a half of correspondence followed and then a meeting was arranged. Neither of us knew that the spark would ignite us when we met. The intensity of it was a huge surprise. Neither of us has seen age thirty in a very long time. We've been living together now for about six months and are extremely happy. As Hesperis knows, we've been through a lot of pain together, some bad luck and other things, and each time something happens, it renews and deepens our knowledge of what a fine person the other is, and how fortunate we are to have found one another. I have met others who have formed deep relationships from meeting someone first on the net. I have also met some individuals who rush rashly into meetings and end up stung. ~ Jande |
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Subject: RE: B.S. Internet Romance, watch out! From: kendall Date: 22 Jan 01 - 10:47 PM Thats much better Matt. |
