Subject: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: LR Mole Date: 06 Aug 01 - 03:16 PM No, it isn't. Too hot to be anything but silly. This from Ogden Nash:
And tasted it, and found it good. And that is why your Cousin May Fell through the parlor floor today. (Anyone else know some good, tiny, amusing poems?) |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: GUEST Date: 06 Aug 01 - 03:27 PM Ogden would surely have spelt 'parlor' with a 'u' No? |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: GUEST,Guest Date: 06 Aug 01 - 03:33 PM String Is a very important thing. Rope is thicker but string is quicker Spike Milligan |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: GUEST,Willa Date: 06 Aug 01 - 03:41 PM Early to bed and early to rise Is the way to feel stupid and have red eyes |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Kim C Date: 06 Aug 01 - 03:44 PM Someone posted this on the Cat a long time ago - I'm sorry I don't remember who - and I have enjoyed it ever since:
An accident happened to my brother Jim Also here's one Mister says now and then; I think he said an old friend of his made it up, or claimed to:
A bear sleeps in a bearskin, I suppose |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: GUEST,Willa Date: 06 Aug 01 - 04:02 PM Early to bed and early to rise Is the way to feel stupid and have red eyes. Shirley Hughes Remarkable Truly is art See-elliptical wheels on a cart! It looks very fair In the picture, up there, But imagine the Ride when you start. Gelett Burgess Oh cuckoo! shall I call thee bird, Or but a wandering voice? State the alternative preferred, With reasons for your choice. F. H. Townsend The Wife's Epitaph To follow you I'm not content. How do I know which way you went? Anon Inscribed On a Pint Pot There are several reasons for drinking, And one has just entered my head; If a man cannot drink when he's living, How the Hell can he drink when he's dead? (Last one suitable for Micca's mug?)
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Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: GUEST,Willa Date: 06 Aug 01 - 04:04 PM Oh dear! Penultimate line should be 'How the Hell can he drink when he's dead?'
fixed it |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: GUEST,Karen Date: 06 Aug 01 - 04:06 PM Supposedly the shortest poem: FLEAS Adam had 'em. |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Jacob B Date: 06 Aug 01 - 04:11 PM Stopping By Woods While It's Snowing, Even Whose woods these are I know, I think His house is in the village though He will not see to raise a stink If I stop here to watch the snow My horse must think my mind is gone To stop without a farmhouse near In another hour it will be dawn He thinks we should get out of here He gives his harness bells a ring To ask if there is some mistake And in my face I feel the sting Of hard wind driving frozen flake And so I snap the reins on down For I have promises to keep I have to take this horse to town And trade the nag in for a Jeep. |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: katlaughing Date: 06 Aug 01 - 04:22 PM My dad, who is 84, recently told me this one. He'd seen it, as a boy of about 7 or 8, on the last covered wagon to pass through the town he grew up in, in Colorado:
"California - Starvation |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Noreen Date: 06 Aug 01 - 04:23 PM A baby sardine saw his first submarine, He cried as he watched through a peephole. "Oh come, come, come!" Said the sardine's mum, "It's only a tin full of people." Spike Milligna, |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Peter T. Date: 06 Aug 01 - 04:45 PM My favourite, a perfect Nash poem: Shake and shake the ketchup bottle, None'll come, and then a lot'l. |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Liz the Squeak Date: 06 Aug 01 - 04:47 PM Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker... Good old Ogden. Poem for everything. LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 06 Aug 01 - 04:55 PM I remember these from my misspent youth:
The gum-chewing girl and the cud-chewing cow OR Moses supposes his toeses are roses OR The breezes, the breezes, Dave Oesterreich
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Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 06 Aug 01 - 04:59 PM Guest, why would he spell it like that? As far as I can tell, he was pretty well-educated. Dave Oesterreich |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Bill D Date: 06 Aug 01 - 05:12 PM I wish I loved the human race. I wish I loved it's silly face. I wish I loved the way it walks, I wish I loved the way it talks- And when I'm introduced to one, I wish I thought, "What jolly fun".
A man fell into a septic tank;
A Glossina morsitans bit rich Aunt Betsy..
...Infant Innocence
Short poem and sea story |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Liz the Squeak Date: 06 Aug 01 - 05:20 PM Der spring is sprung, der grass is riz, I wonder where dem boydies is? The little boyds is on der wing, But dat's absoyd, der wings Is on der boyd. (OK, so I can't do Location Specific American Accents.... just pretend you're from Queens....) LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Bill D Date: 06 Aug 01 - 05:33 PM (traditionally spelled with 'oi', Liz...*grin*...'boid', etc..)...but nice... |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Liz the Squeak Date: 06 Aug 01 - 05:56 PM And I thought he was fixing the line return thing so we wouldn't need < B R > any longer.... LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: brid widder Date: 06 Aug 01 - 06:14 PM this one is all my own work.... when it came to features I didn't have a lot of luck I was right at the back of the queue I think and what I got given I took when I was younger it bothered me but now I don't give a fuck I once was an ugly duckling well now I'm am ugly duck |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Matthew Edwards Date: 06 Aug 01 - 06:33 PM I wish that this room had a floor, I don't care so much for a door, But walking around Without touching the ground, Is getting to be such a bore. As I was going down the stair, I met a man who wasn't there, He wasn't there again today; I wish, I wish, he'd go away. Fell in the fire, and burned to ashes. Now, although the room grows chilly, I haven't the heart to poke poor Billy. I never saw a purple cow, And hope I never see one. But I can tell you anyhow, I'd rather see than be one. Several examples dredged up from my subconscious. Heaven knows where they came from! |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Bill D Date: 06 Aug 01 - 06:42 PM (first line of above.."Little Willie in the best of sashes")
"Ah, yes, I wrote "The Purple Cow" Gelette (sp?) Burgess
"Edgar A. Guest
"I sneezed a sneeze into the air;
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Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Brían Date: 06 Aug 01 - 06:48 PM I have heard that verse about "my brother Tim" sung to VILLIKENS HIS DINAH. Brían. |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Shields Folk Date: 06 Aug 01 - 06:58 PM I wish I was a caterpillar, life would be a farce. sliding down the plants and trees and sliding on my.... ...hands and knees. |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Shields Folk Date: 06 Aug 01 - 07:30 PM Arf, Arf he goes, a merry sight, Our little hairy friend, Arf,Arf, upon the lampost bright Arfing round the bend. Nice dog! Goo boy, waggie tail and beg, Clever Nigel jump for joy because we're putting you to sleep at three of the clock Nigel. John Lennon |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Amos Date: 06 Aug 01 - 07:52 PM Hurray, hurray! The first of May! Outdoor sex Begins today! |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: RangerSteve Date: 06 Aug 01 - 09:53 PM When dear Aunt May fell off the boat, And couldn't swim and wouldn't float, Matilda just stood there and smiled. I really could have slapped that child. I had a dream. It was my own dream. I dreamt it. I dreamed my hair was kempt, and my own true love unkempt it. In the family wishing well, Willie pushed his sister Nell. She's there yet because it kilt her, Now we'll have to buy a filter. Willie, with a thirst for gore, Nailed the baby to the door. Mother said with humor quaint, "Careful, Bill. Don't mar the paint." The one about the dream is by Ogden Nash. The others I'm not sure about.
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Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: katlaughing Date: 06 Aug 01 - 10:45 PM From the 1918 flu epidemic:
"... I had a little bird |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: catspaw49 Date: 06 Aug 01 - 10:51 PM Cleaned that one up some, huh Amos?
Gene, Gene, From me you were expecting it weren't you....What else............. Spaw |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Grab Date: 07 Aug 01 - 09:33 AM I believe this was a Jody Call...
Uncle Bert and Auntie Mabel, Graham. |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: sian, west wales Date: 07 Aug 01 - 10:25 AM Losing one glove is certainly painful But nothing compared to the pain Of losing one Throwing away the other And finding the first one again. By a Danish poet in ... the 60s? I think his name was Piet Hein... sian |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Trapper Date: 07 Aug 01 - 10:36 AM A couple more from Ogden Nash...
I pity thee, O Octopus, - Al |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: mooman Date: 07 Aug 01 - 11:18 AM A couple of extra short ones from memory, forgotten the authors although the first is by a well-known Glaswegian poet and the second won a prize in a schoolchildrens' poetry contest.
Nae hat an' the rain pouring doon
The grocery mooman |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: GUEST Date: 07 Aug 01 - 11:24 AM My sister Lauras bigger than me And picks me up quite easily I cant lift her I've tried and tried She must have something heavy inside Spike Milligan |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: LR Mole Date: 07 Aug 01 - 11:38 AM As to "parlour floor":my Readers' Encyclopedia says Ogden Nash was born in America, so I don't imagine he would have added that old-world "u" to parlor (or as we pronounce it around here,pahlla.) Piet Hein wrote a number of poems, called "Grooks". A fad at one time. And of a poet mentioned already, this from Dorothy Parker: I'd rather flunk my Wasserman test Than read a poem by Edgar A. Guest. |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Bill D Date: 07 Aug 01 - 11:42 AM The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks, Which practically conceals it's sex. I think it clever of the turtle, In such a fix, to be so fertile. Odgen, of course |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Barbara Date: 07 Aug 01 - 12:01 PM "Little Willies" were common in the US back in the 20's and 30's maybe? I learned several from my parents and grandparents. Little Willie, dressed in sashes Fell in the fire and burnt to ashes After while the room grew chilly Because no one wanted to stir up Willie
Willie playing by the track
There's another varianton the train track theme whose last two lines are:
My mother's favorite: Little Willie's dead and gone And for silliness, I always liked this Robert Frost poem:
I stepped on the toe
Blessings, |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Metchosin Date: 07 Aug 01 - 01:31 PM Last night I saw upon the stair A little man who wasn't there He wasn't there again today Oh how I wish he'd go away.
and
How I loves them little mousies |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Kim C Date: 07 Aug 01 - 02:00 PM Spaw! I haven't heard that one in eons!!!!! :-D |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Noreen Date: 07 Aug 01 - 04:22 PM Reading these keeps bringing back childhood poems such as Little pig |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Noreen Date: 07 Aug 01 - 04:40 PM Piggy on the railway Picking up stones, Along came an engine And broke piggy's bones. "Oh," said Piggy, "That's not fair!" "Ha!" said the engine driver, "I don't care!" |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Bernard Date: 07 Aug 01 - 04:46 PM Today I saw a little worm A-wriggling on his belly Perhaps he'd like to come inside And see what's on the telly?! |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Peter K (Fionn) Date: 07 Aug 01 - 05:02 PM LR, I remember Piet Hein's grooks with awe. They used to appear regularly in Punch sometime in the mid-60s. For instance: Just beyond perception's reach I vaguely seem to see That life is two locked boxes, each Wrapped round the other's key. And yet another from Spike, penned years before greenhouse gases had got on to the agenda: I saw a woman in Kensington Gore Take her Rolls-Royce to the grocer's store. All she bought was a dozen eggs. When I go shopping, I travel on legs. This one was accompanied by two sketches labelled WRONG and RIGHT. The first was a cardboard cut-out Roller of the conventionally wheeled variety, the second was another cut-out Roller, but this time fitted with four rotating lags, front and aft. Can't resist squeezing in just one more from Spike: As they placed the crown upon his head Prince Charles turned round and said "I suppose this means that mummy's dead?" |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: GUEST Date: 07 Aug 01 - 10:17 PM ...And Then the Prince Knelt Down and Tried to Put the Glass Slipper on Cinderella's Foot
I really didn't notice that he had a funny nose. By Judith Viorst |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 07 Aug 01 - 11:13 PM When I was a kidlet, in the late 30s, my aunt Lucille was fond of reciting this one, from HER childhood: Little Isaac Eisenheimer She would still sometimes recite this at family gatherings, up until her death in her 80s. Dave Oesterreich |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: GUEST,John Gray / Australia Date: 07 Aug 01 - 11:26 PM I think I've put this one up before, but I like it. I once had a little dog named Ben, Had nine arseholes, nearly ten, Wouldn't eat bread - wouldn't eat crust, But ate apple pie till he fuckin'near bust JG / FME
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Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Lyrical Lady Date: 07 Aug 01 - 11:42 PM Another by Ogden Nash ... "To keep your marriage brimming With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it, Whenever you're right, shut up" Maybe it'll work ... who knows! LL |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Steve Parkes Date: 08 Aug 01 - 12:28 PM As I was letting down my hair I met a man who didn't care. He didn't care again today-- I love 'em when they get that way! Sure, deck your lower limbs in pants, Yours are the legs, my sweeting; You look divine as you advance ... But have you seen yourself retreating? (Ogden Nash again) In the well that Father built her Auntie fell; we must buy a filter. (Hilaire Belloc?) Lord [forgotten!] tried to fix the elctric light; It struck him dead, and serve him right! It is the duty of the wealthy man To give employment to the artisan. (Ditto--please offer corrections if poss.) Steve |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Trapper Date: 08 Aug 01 - 01:22 PM Tarzan Tarzan through the air Tarzan rip his underwear Tarzan say, "Me no care Jane fix my underwear." Jane Jane through the air Jane rip her underwear Jane say, "Me no care Boy fix my underwear." Boy Boy through the air Boy rip his underwear Boy say, "Me no care Cheetah fix my underwear." Cheetah Cheetah through the air Cheetah rip his underwear Cheetah say, "Me no care Me no WEAR no underwear!" - Al |
Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM From: Kim C Date: 08 Aug 01 - 01:37 PM This was composed by my comrade Tammy, a member of my knitting guild:
A naughty knitter named Nelly *that's a big ol knittin needle, for those who don't knit |
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