BS: What do you want on your gravestone?

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: GUEST,daylia
Date: 07 Dec 04 - 07:20 AM

Two Beings clothed in Light saying "She is not here".    :-)

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Dec 04 - 12:23 PM

"I thank my parents without whom I would have never come this far"

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: GUEST,JTT
Date: 07 Dec 04 - 01:02 PM

I think I'd like something like:

"For sale or rent, 300-year-old gravestone. Owner still alive and can't be bothered storing it."

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: GUEST,The Original Web Geek
Date: 07 Dec 04 - 01:10 PM

Mr. T Ate My Balls

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 07 Dec 04 - 01:16 PM

So do you believe in re-incarnation???
These two guys were talking in a hotel I was in.....One asked the other what he was doing there and he told him he was in London for the
"Conference on Reincarnation".
He said "I have paid £5500 altogether to come from America and stay at this expensive hotel, just for the conference".
The man he was talking to said..."That is a lot of money"
To which the American man replied "Well I thought, what the heck man You only live once!!!!....................
Best wishes.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Dec 04 - 05:46 PM

Well, the fact is you DO only live once as the specific role you are playing in this life....regardless of reincarnation. So it makes sense either way.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: Chris Green
Date: 07 Dec 04 - 07:07 PM

There's a story about a bloke in Yorkshire whose wife died. He wanted on the gravestone under her name "She was thine". He went to see the grave and the mason had put on the stone "She was thin." So he rang the mason and told he'd left the E out. He went back the following week and it read "Eeee, she was thin!" :)

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: Juan P-B
Date: 08 Dec 04 - 06:57 PM

My Missus is as houseproud as they come so when I go I'm gonna be cremated and have my ashes scattered on our front room carpet

Then there was they gay who died - His loving partner had him cremated then mixed him into a Vindaloo Curry just so that he could tear his arse up one last time

Juan P-B

PS - Nice to see Martine Gibbon is still getting up peoples snotters!!

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: kendall
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 11:16 AM

On a stone in Tombstone Arizona:

He called Bill Smith a liar.

and:
Here lies Fred. He's dead, there's no more to be said.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: GUEST,Mingulay
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 11:18 AM

WHAT, NO ENCORE!!!!

or

THIS IS A GRAVE SITUATION.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From:
Date: 23 Oct 05 - 02:47 PM

Your original message says that you are one of (if not the only) people still SINGING this song.
I am impressed out of my mind!
I didn't think anybody still knew this song.
As for the male singers referenced as having sung and/or recorded the piece, that is begging the question. The lyrics hardly conduce a male speaker (though I have to admit that my devotion to the song has persuaded me to sing it every now and then).
thanks for your note &
best regards &
keep on keepin on
doc

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: Peace
Date: 23 Oct 05 - 02:48 PM

Was kinda hoping for

b. 1947- d. 2057

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: Mr Red
Date: 23 Oct 05 - 04:07 PM

"If you can read this YOU ARE TOO DAMN CLOSE"

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: bobad
Date: 23 Oct 05 - 04:25 PM

You can have your body turned into a permanent work of art.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: Firecat
Date: 23 Oct 05 - 05:18 PM

When I eventually go (hopefully not before 5 January 2084, my 100th birthday) I'd like a process I read about in the paper. First the body is dipped into liquid nitrogen, then is gently shaken so it becomes a powder. A magnet is used to get rid of any metal (fillings, false joints etc), and the powder is put into a coffin made of potato or maize starch. This is buried and a tree is planted in the soil above the coffin. After about a year, the coffin has biodegraded and turned into compost. A plaque shows who is being grown on.

The plaque should read either "She grew on people, now something's growing on her", or "Now, weary traveller, rest your head, For just like me, you're utterly dead".

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: Peace
Date: 23 Oct 05 - 06:27 PM

Sounds like a plan. What's it cost?

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Oct 05 - 07:15 PM

Actually, I want to be encased in plastic, like those starfish and things in a high school biology lab. I want to be standing up when this is done and the plastic made into a cylinder.

A hookeye should be placed in the plastic, and a hole drilled to accomodate the cylinder. On top will be a cylindrical gravestone giving my name, dates (birth and death, not all of those girls), and a few facts about me -- my Nobel Peace Prize, a list of my Grammys and Oscars, etc. The epitath will read "Still thirsty!" or "Returned to Sender" or something equally short.

BUT! When folks in the future wonder what I looked like, all they have to do is pull out the gravestone, hook a derrick or wrecker or whatever to the eyebolt, and hoist away! Up I'll come, looking as natural as the day I was put into the plastic.

My eyes open, mouth in a nice smile, both middle fingers upraised....

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: gnu
Date: 23 Oct 05 - 08:26 PM

Get off me!

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: Peace
Date: 23 Oct 05 - 08:29 PM

"What do you want on your gravestone?"

The bodies of my enemies. That would be nice.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: GUEST,Joe_F
Date: 23 Oct 05 - 09:09 PM

inanimate

inaminute

--- Joe Fineman    [e-mail]

||: Sexual morality is properly a department of hospitality. :||

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 24 Oct 05 - 05:10 AM

It should say, "After a lifetime as an entertainer you'd think that I'd be used to this by now."

Stephen Lee

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 24 Oct 05 - 05:27 AM

Gone fishing.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: Janie
Date: 24 Oct 05 - 10:27 AM

"27 years in therapy....
Almost cured"

or

"Never voted for a winning candidate in a major election"

(both from Matt Groenig's "Life in Hell"

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 24 Oct 05 - 06:27 PM

I think I would like -
"For Sale Gravestone. Owner no longer needs as has recovered."

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: bobad
Date: 24 Oct 05 - 06:52 PM

Another epitaph at Boot Hill ;

Here lies Lester Moore
No Les no Moore

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: LilyFestre
Date: 24 Oct 05 - 07:52 PM

Beloved Wife, Friend and Mother

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: GUEST,Noddy
Date: 25 Oct 05 - 11:44 AM

Vacant, Available for long lease.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: NH Dave
Date: 25 Oct 05 - 02:04 PM

Born 19NN, Died 2065.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: GUEST,Joe_F
Date: 25 Oct 05 - 09:40 PM

Peace: "My grave's no bad: they've put intill't / Twa o the Sassenachs I killt. / I'll kill them again as soon's the horn / Toots on the Resurrection morn. -- Hugh MacDiarmid"

--- Joe Fineman    [e-mail]

||: His sunburn will finally unburn, But he's burned in the moonlight for keeps. :||

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 26 Oct 05 - 01:52 PM

After a pretty bad accident with a bus I came up with the following:

Here lay the remains of old Dave H.
Killed by an oncoming bus
He should have listened to our add
And left the driving to us!

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: lady penelope
Date: 26 Oct 05 - 03:00 PM

Yes I rather fancy the liquid nitrogen thing for all the bits that neither usefull nor wanted. I don't want a grave stone as such, but a wooden plaque grown into a tree with the words "I ain'tnt dead" would amuse me no end.........

TTFN Lady P.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: WFDU - Ron Olesko
Date: 26 Oct 05 - 03:31 PM

Back in 10 minutes

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 26 Oct 05 - 03:35 PM

I want an emergency exit, so I can leave whenever I choose.

There is a country graveyard with a stone which says

"Here lies Emily Smith, spinster of this parish, and our postmistress for forty years......Returned unopened".

Don T.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: 42
Date: 26 Oct 05 - 04:29 PM

a picnic.

j

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Oct 05 - 07:14 PM

VACANCY

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: Dave Earl
Date: 27 Oct 05 - 02:55 AM

Was it Spike Milligan who said he wanted :-

See, I told you I wasn't well.

??

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 27 Oct 05 - 08:08 AM

Spike Milligans epitaph is " I Told You I Was Ill " but they wouldn't allow it in english, so it's written in Irish gaelic.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 27 Oct 05 - 02:58 PM

Lady Penelope - Just don't go borrowing too long. Sometimes they don't come back.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: MMario
Date: 27 Oct 05 - 03:08 PM

No trespassing.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 27 Oct 05 - 03:10 PM

jOhn from Hull, 1967-2067.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: MMario
Date: 27 Oct 05 - 03:11 PM

plan on dying young then John?

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 28 Oct 05 - 07:32 AM

I found this epitaph in a book by Ed Cray, it's from the 17th century,

If one must die as oft as breath departs,
Then he must often die who often farts,
And if to die be but to lose one's breath,

Then death's a fart, and so a fart for death.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Oct 05 - 04:51 PM

If you donate correctly there should be nothing left to bury.

Who knows, some crack pot may invent organ tatoos that could really freak some doctors out one day.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: Firecat
Date: 28 Oct 05 - 08:20 PM

Not sure on the price of the liquid nitrogen thing, but hopefully it will become the norm.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: GUEST,TheBanjoist
Date: 29 Oct 05 - 05:52 PM

I will be taken back to the Rez and placed on my elevated burial bed and covered in my buffalo blanket. In a couple of years what's ever left of my bones will be crushed and mixed with the ash of all my dogs and we will be put in a river that goes to the sea...Then we will be forgotten.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: GUEST,lotta dust
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 02:56 AM

there are three i want the first one is actully my name

"here lies Lotta Dust"

"ouch your standing on my head"

"here lies John Yeast pardone me for not riseing

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: MuddleC
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 05:42 AM

'Standing room only' (train/bus conductor)

'life's a bitch, -but now I've died' (biker)

'dam, -it was the red wire' (bomb disposal)

'scythes sharpened while you wait'

'wake me in the morning'

'jus' when I wuz getting the hang of it..'

'now will you stop sending those tax demands?'

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: Mr Fox
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 07:21 AM

I'm sure His Bobness won't mind if I nick a quote from one of his songs:

The bottles are done
We've killed each one
The table's full and overflowed
And the corner sign says it's closing time
So I'll say farewell and be down the road.

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: *daylia*
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 07:31 AM

ON SABBATICAL

*BE RIGHT BACK*

Subject: RE: BS: What do you want on your gravestone?
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Nov 05 - 08:46 AM

"Out to lunch. Please leave message."