1950s novelty songs

Subject: Lyr Add: THE OLD MASTER PAINTER (Frank Sinatra)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 24 Aug 16 - 02:52 PM

Mentioned by "Bill H //\\" on 24 Oct 2008. I don't see why this is called a novelty song, though.


THE OLD MASTER PAINTER
Words by Haven Gillespie, music by Beasley Smith.
As recorded by Frank Sinatra, 1949.

[1] The old master painter from the faraway hills
Painted the vi'lets and the daffodils.
He put the purple in the twilight haze,
Then did a rainbow for the rainy days,
Dreamed up the murals on the blue summer skies,
Painted the devil in my darlin's eyes,
Captured the dreamer with a thousand thrills—
The old master painter from the faraway hills.

[2] Then came his masterpiece, and when he was through,
He smiled down from heaven and he gave me you.
What a beautiful job on that wonderful day!
The old master painter from the hills far away.

[Repeat 2, 1, 2.]

(Far away.) Far away.
(Far away.) Far away. [FADE]


[Also recorded by Snooky Lanson, Richard Hayes, Bob Crosby, Mel Torme, Phil Harris, Dick Haymes, Geraldo and His Orchestra, and others.]

Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: leeneia
Date: 25 Aug 16 - 12:21 AM

Does anybody remember the name of a charming instrumental piece that featured a melody on a flute accompanied by the sound of a horse's hooves? Would have been 1950's or early '60's.

I'm pretty sure the instrument was a flute. Could have been something else.

Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: JennieG
Date: 25 Aug 16 - 01:23 AM

I can remember "Swinging shepherd blues" - I think that was on flute? Don't remember the horses though.

Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: leeneia
Date: 25 Aug 16 - 10:14 AM

I remember "Swinging shepherd blues" too, now that you mention it, Jennie. Thanks!

The tune with the horse sound was major. SSB was bluesy.

Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: leeneia
Date: 25 Aug 16 - 10:25 AM

"Swinging shepherd blues" was composed and recorded by Moe Koffman of Canada. He doesn't seem to have a connection with the tune with flute and horse's hoof sound. Here's what Wikipedia has to say about Moe:


"During a career spanning from the 1950s to the 2000s, Koffman was one of Canada's most prolific musicians, working variously in clubs and sessions. With his 1957 record 'Hot and Cool Saxophone' on the New York-based Jubilee label, Koffman became one of the first Canadian jazz musicians to record a full-length album."

You can find SSB on YouTube.

Subject: Lyr Add: DIVORCE ME C.O.D. (Merle Travis)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 26 Aug 16 - 08:52 PM

Bankley mentioned this on 25 Jan 2009, but he missed the mark by a few years. It's a clever song, though.


DIVORCE ME C.O.D.
Written by Merle Travis & Cliffie Stone.
As recorded by Merle Travis, 1946.

I just bought me a great long ticket I'm gonna use at four p.m.
So you can call your secret love and tell the news to him.

You thought your little romance was on the strict Q.T.
If you want your freedom P.D.Q., divorce me C.O.D.

I won't be around
To hear you cry.
I'm Texas bound,
And by and by—

You can reach me down in Dallas, general delivery.
So if you want your freedom P.D.Q., divorce me C.O.D.

[instrumental break]

Now there's gonna come a day, gal, when you'll be feelin' blue.
You're gonna find that you can't pay your bills with a little ol' I.O.U.

This dynamite that you're a-messin' with may be T.N.T.
So if you want your freedom P.D.Q., divorce me C.O.D.

When the winter comes,
I hope you freeze
While I twiddle my thumbs,
Layin' around in my B.V.D.'s.

Well, now, I ain't no college p'fessor; I ain't got no Ph.D.
But if you want your freedom P.D.Q., divorce me C.O.D.

Subject: Lyr Add: THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY, HA-HAAA!
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 26 Aug 16 - 10:02 PM

This was first mentioned by Dave Hanson on 21 Oct 2008, and then mentioned again by several others. With that kind of demand, I have to transcribe it, right? But again, people looking for 50's songs have missed the mark by a few years.


THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY, HA-HAAA!
As recorded by Napoleon XIV [=Jerry Samuels], 1966.

1. Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees and begged
    you not to leave because I'd go berserk?
Well—
You left me anyhow, and then the days got worse and worse and now
    you see I've gone completely out of my mind,
Then—
They're coming to take me away, ha-ha!
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-ha!
To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time,
    and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats,
And they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!

2. You thought it was a joke and so you laughed; you laughed when I had said
    that losing you would make me flip my lid.
Right?
You know you laughed; I heard you laugh; you laughed; you laughed and laughed and then
    you left, but now you know I'm utterly mad—
And—
They're coming to take me away, ha-ha!
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-ha!
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds
    and basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes,
And they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!

3. I cooked your food; I cleaned your house and this is how you pay me back
    for all my kind unselfish loving deeds,
Huh?
Well you just wait; they'll find you yet, and when they do, they'll put you in
    the A.S.P.C.A., you mangy mutt!
And—
They're coming to take me away, ha-ha!
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-ha!
To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time,
    and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats,
And they're coming to take me away, ha-ha!
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds
    and basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes,
And they're coming to take me away, ha-ha!
To the funny farm....[etc. FADE.]

Subject: Lyr Add: YOU'RE A PINK TOOTHBRUSH (Max Bygraves)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 29 Aug 16 - 12:30 AM

Little Robyn mentioned this first on 20 Oct 2008, then a couple more people did.


YOU'RE A PINK TOOTHBRUSH
As recorded by Max Bygraves, 1953.

My mummy bought a toothbrush; it was a lovely pink,
And when it looked across at dad's, I'm sure I saw it wink.
That night I had a funny dream while fast asleep in bed.
Two toothbrushes were holding hands, and this is what they said:

You're a pink toothbrush; I'm a blue toothbrush.
Have we met somewhere before?
You're a pink toothbrush, and I think, toothbrush,
That we met by the bathroom door.

Glad to meet, toothbrush; such a sweet toothbrush!
How you thrill me through and through!
Don't be hard, toothbrush; I'm a soft toothbrush,
'Cause I can't help loving you,

Ev'ry time I hear you whistle, [whistling]
It makes my nylon bristle. [whistling]

You're a pink toothbrush; I'm a blue toothbrush.
Won't you marry me in haste?
I'll be true, toothbrush, just to you, toothbrush,
When we both use the same toothpaste.

[Repeat from "Ev'ry time...." to end.]

Subject: RE: 1950s novelty songs
From: eftifino
Date: 29 Aug 16 - 12:59 AM

Don't know if anyone mentioned the Goon's Songs:

"I'm Walking Backwards for Christmas"

"You gotta go OWWWWWW"

"Ying Tong"

Subject: Lyr Add: BABY SITTIN' BOOGIE (Buzz Clifford)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 29 Aug 16 - 02:13 PM

Mentioned by mousethief on 27 Jun 2010:


BABY SITTIN' BOOGIE
Words and music by Johnny Parker, 1960.
As recorded by Buzz Clifford, 1961.

My girl babysits for someone on her block;
Then I come up to join her and we start to rock.
The baby hears the beat an' man, it is a shock
When he goes: [baby-talk gibberish]

A rockin' type o' boogie is the kind o' song
That makes this little baby want'o sing along,
And though he maybe gets the tune a little wrong,
He still goes: [baby-talk gibberish]

He isn't too young to really feel the beat.
He rocks back an' forth in his little seat.
He claps both his hands an' he taps his feet,
And he sings: [baby-talk gibberish]

He is a holly-dory(?) bouncin' baby boy.
You know the record player is his fav'rite toy,
And don't forget he's ev'rybody's pride an' joy
When he goes: [baby-talk gibberish starting "ooh, ah!"]

I know there isn't anyone to take the bet,
But surely he's the youngest teenager yet,
And probably the hippest of the diaper set,
As he goes: [baby-talk gibberish resembling: "Go man! I like that!"]

He strolls in his stroller with the radio on.
He doesn't go to sleep until the music's gone.
He imitates the singer in the group
With the low-down voice: [baby-talk gibberish]

And when it's time to tuck him in his little bed,
With all that music runnin' through his sleepy head,
The little fella doesn't say goodnight; instead,
He says: [baby-talk gibberish starting "booga-booga-booga..."]


[The gibberish in this song sounds like it was genuinely recorded from a baby. Sometimes the baby seems to be trying to imitate actual words, but it's hard to make them out.]

Subject: Lyr Add: WHAT KINDA DEAL IS THIS (Bill Carlisle)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 29 Aug 16 - 11:26 PM

Mentioned by fumblefingers on 11 Aug 2010:


WHAT KINDA DEAL IS THIS
Written by Wayne C. Gilbreath.
As recorded by Bill Carlisle, 1965.

Now me an' Liz was on our first date.
We was a-settin' at this red light a-havin' to wait,
'N' this ol' boy walked up with a big possum grin,
An' he just opened the car door an' crawled right in,
An' I thought, what kinda deal is this?

You know, the thing that was a-gettin' me the most
Was the way this ol' boy seemed to feel his oats.
Man, he was really getting under my skin,
A-settin' over there with that big stupid grin,
And I thought, what kinda deal is this?

I got to wonderin' about this friend o' Liz,
But I figgered in a minute she'll tell me who he is,
But as we drove along I thought, man, oh, man,
'Cause me an' him an' Liz was all three a-holdin' hands,
And I thought, what kinda deal is this?

I ain't too smart, but I could still see
This whole deal looked all fouled up to me,
So I thought I'd better stop it; man, it's goin' too fur,
'Cause she was a-huggin' me an' he was a-huggin' her.
I thought, what kinda deal is this?

Well, I knew it wadn't right, but what could I say?
I thought I'd just kinda let it go along that-a-way,
But purty soon I seen I was out on a limb.
I couldn't kiss her without kissin' him,
An' man, I thought, what kinda deal is this?

So I stopped the car an' I said: "Looka here, Liz.
You'd better tell me who this guy is."
She said: "I don't know him! I thought he was your friend."
I said: "Well, if you don't know 'im, what's he doin' here then?"
I thought, what kinda deal is this?

So I grabbed 'im by the collar an' I jerked him out o' the car.
I said: "Buddy, I ain't never seen nobody like you are.
How come you pull these kind o' jokes?"
He said: "Well, sometime it works; sometime it don't."
An' I thought, what kinda deal is this?

Well, I drew back my fist to hit 'im in the face.
He broke a-loose an' outrun a snake.
So now here I stand just a-lookin' at Liz,
An' both of us are wonderin' who this guy is.
Now what kinda deal do you think this is?

If you find out, I wish you'd let me know. Man, it's tore me up like a sow's bed. You ain't never been tore up till you been tore up like a sow's bed. You'll know what I mean then. FADE.

Subject: Lyr Add: IS ZAT YOU MYRTLE? (Carlisle, Louvin)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 30 Aug 16 - 10:53 PM

Also mentioned by fumblefingers:


IS ZAT YOU MYRTLE?
Written by Bill Carlisle, Charlie Lovin, and Ira Louvin.
As recorded by Bill Carlisle, 1953.

CHORUS: "Is zat you, Myrtle?" "Did I hear Papa?"
"Is zat you, Myrtle?" "Just a minute!"
Is zat you, Myrtle? Is zat you, Myrtle?
I guess you better send that scalawag home.
(I guess you better send that scalawag home.)

1. I took my gal to the picture show.
She promised me a kiss when we got home.
My heart was a-drummin' an' I couldn't hardly wait
To get her in my arms, but her daddy was awake. CHORUS

2. One night we was settin' in the old porch swing.
I tell you it was the squeekin'est thing.
Ever' time I tried to move in close,
I could hear them big feet hit the floor. CHORUS

3. I figured out a plan all of my own.
We pulled off our shoes about a mile from home.
Soon as we turned in off o' the street,
B'lieve to my soul he heard the patter of our feet. CHORUS

Subject: Lyr Add: NO HELP WANTED (Catlett, Ball, Carlisle)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 30 Aug 16 - 11:42 PM

Also mentioned by fumblefingers:


NO HELP WANTED, a.k.a. YOU'LL NEED MY HELP
Words by Betty Jo Catlett & Noel Ball, music by Bill Carlisle.
As recorded by The Carlisles, 1952.

1. Now I've got a gal from New Orleans,
Cutest little thing that you ever have seen.
She got a cute little walk with a hippity-hop,
Big at the little and bottom at the top. [sic]

CHORUS: "Do you need any help?" "Huh-uh, no help wanted."
"You could use a little help." "No, no, no help wanted."
"Just call on me if you need any help.
Do you need any help? Do you need any help?"
"No, I can handle this job all by myself."

2. Now she calls me her little piggly-wiggly.
I call her my little thingamajiggy.
When I ask her for a kiss,
…voice sounds something like this: CHORUS

3. Now I love my baby; she's a little bitty booger,
Cute as a button and sweet as sugar.
I'm a-gonna buy her a diamond ring.
We'll get married in the spring. CHORUS

4. Now I'm a-gonna take her honky-tonkin' tonight.
We're gonna do ever'thing up right.
When the music starts to swing and sway,
We'll dance till the break of day. CHORUS

Subject: Lyr Add: LUKE THE SPOOK (Sheb Wooley)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 31 Aug 16 - 01:07 AM

Also mentioned by fumblefingers:


LUKE THE SPOOK
As recorded by Sheb Wooley, 1960.

Who's always first to make the scene?
Wears tennis shoes and old blue jeans?
Who chases all the girls around?
Who is the coolest cat in town?
Charlie Brown? Not that clown.
Well then who? Luke the spook.

Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke the spook!
Spook, spook, spook, spooky Luke!
He's got all the funny ways.
Still, he's got ev'ry girl in school goin' crazy.
(And still he's got ev'ry girl in school goin' crazy.)

Who's always strollin' at the hop?
Who wears his hair just like a mop?
Who's always gettin' in a fix
With all his jokin' and his tricks?
Tall Paul? Not at all.
Well then who? Luke the spook.

Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke the spook!
Spook, spook, spook, spooky Luke!
He likes to pass the time away
Standing on the corner watchin' all the girlies.
(Standing on the corner watchin' all the girlies.)

Who likes to cuddle in the car?
Who knows where all the parties are?
Who drives a hopped-up model A?
Who ditches school 'most ev'ry day?
Leroy? Not that boy.
Well then who? Luke the spook.

Subject: Lyr Add: T'AIN'T NICE (Bill Carlisle)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 01 Sep 16 - 10:59 AM

This was quoted by Kevin b on 10 April 2014:


T'AIN'T NICE (TO TALK LIKE THAT)
Written by Bill CarlisLe and Charlie & Ira Louvin.
As recorded by Bill Carlisle, 1953.

1. Now I'm your coffee and I'm your tea.
You better save all your sugar for me.
You better watch who you give your lovin' to,
'Cause I'm plumb popeyed over you.

CHORUS-1: [Woman:] You know it ain't nice to talk like that.
[Man:] Yeah, I know it ain't nice to talk like that,
But I'm hog wild and that's my style,
And I get a kick out o' talkin' like that.

2. Ever' time I see you walkin' down the street,
My heart does a hootchie-kootchie and skips a beat.
You're my cute little sugar plum,
And I'm a-gonna squeeze till the cows come home. CHORUS-1

CHORUS-2: [Both:] Now, we know it ain't nice to talk like that,
But we're gonna keep on a-talkin' like that,
'Cause we're hog wild and that's our style,
And we get a kick out o' talkin' like that.

3. If you'll be my little lovin' hugger,
I'll be your little sugar burger.
I love you, my little koochie-koo.
I'm gonna squeeze the fool out o' you. CHORUS-1

4. I'm a-fishin' for you, baby, with the right kind o' bait,
And I'm a-gonna catch you if my line don't break.
It's me for you and you for me.
I'm a-gonna squeeze you till you holler "Whoopee!" CHORUS-1, CHORUS-2

Subject: Lyr Add: OH WHAT A FACE (Sticks McGhee)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 05 Sep 16 - 10:37 PM

This was first mentioned by kendall on 20-Oct-2008:


OH WHAT A FACE
As recorded by Sticks McGhee, 1951.

1. He carries her picture in his pocket.
It was taken the day he went to sea.
He carries her picture in his locket,
Though she is as ugly can be.

CHORUS: Oh, what a face! (Oh, what a face!)
It's a disgrace (it's a disgrace)
To be showin' it in any public place.

2. One mornin' he took her to a pig farm.
He told her to wait down by the rail,
But when he returned he couldn't find her.
The farmer had put her up for sale. CHORUS

3. A tragedy occurred when she got married.
A bridal veil her face did fully hide.
She lifted it to kiss her lovin' husband.
He screamed and committed suicide. CHORUS