BS: humour

Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Gareth
Date: 18 Sep 01 - 04:52 PM

OooooH ! Those were realley fowl jokes.

Gareth

Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Walking Eagle
Date: 18 Sep 01 - 05:19 PM

What's the difference between a large pizza and a percussionist?

A lagre pizza can feed a family of four!

Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 18 Sep 01 - 09:20 PM

Tourists in Texas ask:

Why did the armadillo cross the road?

Any knowledgeable Texan will tell you the question is invalid as stated. There is no evidence indicating that an armadillo ever made it across the road.

As to the possibly valid:

Why did the armadillo TRY to cross the road?

Nobody knows.

John

Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: GUEST,Souter
Date: 19 Sep 01 - 02:47 AM

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go back home

Why did the chicken cross the road
He didn't. He got hit by a truck halfway across

Why did the flamingo cross the road
Well, after the incident with the truck, the chicken retired and moved to Florida.

Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: CharlieA
Date: 19 Sep 01 - 04:58 AM

What do you have if you have one big green ball in one hand and another big green ball in the other....................................

Total control of the Jolly Green Giant!

Cxxx

Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Crazy Eddie
Date: 19 Sep 01 - 05:59 AM

Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because there were no chickens in those days.

Why did the hedge-hog cross the road?
To see his flat mate.

Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: GUEST,Lanfranc at the orifice
Date: 19 Sep 01 - 06:20 AM

Five major insurance companies are contemplating a merger. As is usual, the PR people have decided that it is essential that a new logo be created to "brand" the new conglomerate.

The design was sub-contracted to numerous graphic designers, and, in due time, the PR department received back a variety of designs. There were the usual insurance company cliches, golden discs, castles, chainmail gauntlets, plus the inevitable undecipherable squiggles. One design, however, stood out. It was a shield, quartered, with a circle in the centre. In each quarter was a representation of a man and woman making love, on the centre circle, a baby.

They knew that they could never use the design, but called the designer in to explain his creation.

"It's very simple," he said, "The man at top left is making love to his wife, that's Legal & General. The man at top right is making love to his mistress, that's Mutual Trust. The man bottom left is making love to a prostitute, that's Commercial Union, and the man bottom right is making love to his secretary, that's Employer's Liability. Oh, and the baby in the middle? General Accident, of course!"

Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: tremodt
Date: 20 Sep 01 - 06:53 PM

a man wakes up with a hangover and he puts on his robe he reaches into his left pocket and pulls out a braseereand say i wonder wher i was last nite he reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a pair of panties and says wow i must have had a good time he goes into the bathroom and looks in the mirrow and there is a little string hanging out of his mouth and he says if there is a god in heaven please let this be a teabag

Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: heric
Date: 20 Sep 01 - 07:21 PM

. . . Monica kneeling in front of Ken Starr, who is tied with his arms up, and Bill says, there is some poetic justice, I suppose, in this as my punishment, I'll take this room, and the Devil said "Okay Monica, get up and come with me, you're being replaced."

Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Troll
Date: 20 Sep 01 - 10:43 PM

Why did the possum cross the road?
To show the chicken that it could be done.

Have you ever seen a flight of geese, in a "V" formation, flying South for the winter?
If you will think back and try to visualize that sight in your mind, you will recall that one side of the "V" was longer than the other.
Have you got the picture now? One side IS longer, isn't it?
Do you know why it's longer?
It's longer because there are more geese on that side.

troll

Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Crazy Eddie
Date: 21 Sep 01 - 08:17 AM

Thanks Troll,
I always thought it was longer 'cos there were fewer geese on the other side! :o)

Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Mrrzy
Date: 21 Sep 01 - 08:59 AM

A teabag! LOL!

Subject: RE: BS: humour
From: Dead Horse
Date: 21 Sep 01 - 09:32 PM

"It's longer because there are more geese on that side." Nah! It's because the one in the middle don't know the way.