Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: ossonflags
Date: 27 Jul 02 - 04:36 AM

John,

this might sound like I am being a tad picky, but what as eating ice cream got to do with living five doors away from me?

Oh, and good luck with your new relationship with dodgy bird/mr. happy/guinness the hamster.

Is anyone going to rogers open mic session at the Sun Inn beverley tomorrow(4.pm start)?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 27 Jul 02 - 02:50 PM

It's in an an hour and a bit, it's free and on the A1077 between Barton and Winterton at the confluence of the Ancholme river and the Humber. Gary is coming, when he's taken Mrs Drinkall to a place she'll never forget. I on the other hand, will be left talking to Frank about the war and how he made a small fortune out of rationing.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 27 Jul 02 - 02:58 PM

And don't you underestimate how much Mrs D cherished her sausage in those dark days. I'm still trying to convince her that the ARP man won't see the light on through the blankets on the windows.

Gazza

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,dodgy bird
Date: 28 Jul 02 - 01:53 AM

john not living with mr happy! will be at nellies for the sess i'll be the one that can't play the piano (fortunately cos it's not a very good one by all accounts) maybe see you and the the rest of the banana beer drinking crowd there oh and if it's hot do you think they'll let us take icecream

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 28 Jul 02 - 02:06 AM

It was a good gig. Quote of the night: "God I hate this job" (landlady whilst trying to deal with the flotsam). Garry and I are going to get arrested next Sunday in Beverley. And I am off to sort out the cows, in the hot sunshine.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: ossonflags
Date: 28 Jul 02 - 06:49 AM

it was a memorable night in many ways.Not quote of the night but sight of the night must have been the undraped lower limbs of oakley.He being him he had to take it the one stage further by played the entire gig with no shoes on!!! This combined with the assorted aromas from the various botty burps and breath like a camels arse, had fair maidens,me and assorted strong men realing in their tracks. He is now known on both sides of the Humber as "The Sandie Shaw of the folk scene"

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 28 Jul 02 - 07:17 AM

I also got sexually assaulted by a drunk woman whilst she was on the way to the toilet. And I got kissed by 5 different people, at least 3 of which were those female types9. Following your advice, I have had All Bran this morning to try to jump-start the bowel. Given the unfortunate start to the thread, a fitting end, that.

Did anyone spot the Humberside Police Special Whistles Division lurking in the corner, cunningly disguised as a normal person without his trademark centre-parting?

"Lodger" Frank is in his vest, braces and enormous flannel trousers, reading the Sunday Mirror and puffing contentedly on his pipe, in the back garden at No 21. In 10 minutes, he will be in for a terrible shock, as me kit in coming right off, any minute now.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 28 Jul 02 - 08:11 PM

I could not go because i had to go to wrrk, i was going to ring in sick, but i decided it was not werth the hassle i would get off mr miserable face the next day.It is really hot here 9in hull) so i have tuck all my cloths off and i am eeting sume ice creem, what you going to be arrested for Oaklet? I had a really weird dream last night=Mick the horse puncher was drilling a hole in my foot, using a cordless drill, 9very scary) i woke up frightened and i lokked under the bed to check mick was not there! 9he wasn't).i will go to nellies on sunday.john Ps. I think hot wether and to mutch bear gives you scary dreams.john

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Jul 02 - 08:36 PM

so a good night was had by all so it seems sorry i missed it had to obey the good lady wife and b.b.q in the sun whilst drinking copius amounts of alcohol hopefully will make the next durty nellies do will you clarify dates for me please

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 03:22 AM

Guest,the next "do"is at nellies (beverley) next sunday afternoon 2.oopm start till 6,7,8 ish.

There is a busking contest in beverley next saterday wich a feww of the nellies lot will be paryicipating, ourselves included (Punch The Horse) and we are playing in Hull at Durty Nellies on Saterday night 9.00 pm start.

Oakiepoos, I am ecstatic that you took my advice re.camels arse breath.I would suggest you extend the treatment by in vesting in a gross or two of extra strong mints before I have the privilage of taking the stage with you again.

John,I would lay of that Vindaloo if I was you.Did you check the wardrobe?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 03:34 AM

John, exactly how high is your bed off the floor? Ossonflags, my breath is now snogging sweet again. Are we booked in for the busking competition on Saturday? I am starting to think of the bicycle again.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,smallpiper
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 07:55 AM

You could be right about the submersible police crew oakers, they are a sneeky lot, fancy putting the plain clothes whistle division onto you, lucky you spotted them or you'd ha bin done for summit for sure!

Durham was good rather like the PVFF but smaller although the rugby club were most accomodating and served Bear till very late but there were no bannnnnnnnnannnnnnnnaaaasss or ice cream.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 09:52 AM

Boo.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 09:56 AM

Hi Deanmeister, again.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 03:02 PM

cheers ossonflags will try to make durty nellies

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Noreen
Date: 29 Jul 02 - 06:52 PM

Oh, Oaklet my dear, it would appear we are kindred spirits: I too performed this weekend barefoot! (with the wonderful Shellback Chorus in the aformentioned famed Warwickshire.) It is obviously meant to be. Linda has told me all about you, jOhn has given us his blessing, and your breath smells sweetly: for what are you waiting? Gary need never know...

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 01:38 AM

Oakiepoos,

Prepare the larger of the water tanks, break out the fog machine,large amounts of the best lincolnshire soot and the lycra posing pouch, we are appearing in the buskers thingy.Meet up at Beverley Picture playhouse for 10.00am on Saterday morn.

Ecstatic about the camels arse free breath.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 02:17 AM

There is a certain siren calling at me and I'm about to dash meself on the rocks. Linda, why is the poor woman still interested when you've told her all about me? You havn't been on about Tom Sellick, body hair, muscular bits and an engaging smile again have you? Yesterday I received by e mail a photo taken during the Potato Orchestra's gig outside Holy Trinity. If the poor woman needs more proof that I am a complete shambles, I'll publish it here. Can anyone giz a clue how to do this?

John is suffering from the heat, obviously.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 02:52 AM

yOu are right Oaklet, itt is to hot, i am going to put my trowsis on and go to Jacksons for sume ice creem, my feet are smelling very bad today, so i tried to wash them in the washing up bowel, but it leeks , so i ended up with a big puddle on the carpet and stood in it.john

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 02:59 AM

ps, I think NOrenn knows how to send the photos to mudcat, or you can get your own wibsete and make a link to it, i got on free one from lycos, i think it is johnevans@tripod@lycos or something like that, i cant find it now, it might be @lycos.uk or sumething I m not sure really.john

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 03:05 AM

ps I am glad they have stopped putting all them nines in my messages, i dont know who it was, but it was getting annoying me, I think it was pobably Guest trying to make trubble, 9there is no nines in my last 3 messages , so if there is any when you sees this they have added them when i wasn't loiking).john

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 04:04 AM

John, how ya doin'? Jacksons insist on its male customers wearing trousers, particularly when bent over the freezers to retrive ice cream. There was a brief mention of seminal curry on your thread yesterday and I came over all uneccessary. Leeks are known for their deoderant properties, but not in Ossenflag's system. Are you going still jiggling in Beberley9 on Saturday?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,DeanMeister
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 06:23 AM

anybody in?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Noreen
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 06:35 AM

Oaklet, you can display your likeness in all its glory on the Mudcat Member Photos and Info page (that's what it says in the drop-down menu at the top of this page- but I suggest that you don't restrict the photo to a particular part of your anatomy) by sending your photo to Pene Azul- instructions on that page, or click here to speed the process.

While you're at it, ask PA to put you in the Mudcat Locator. Currently it thinks there is only one catter in 'Ull, which methinks is not an accurate representaion of 'Ullites bid for Mudcat/world domination.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,Oakley, stripped to the waist and covered in
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 06:46 AM

Whilst playing at the Hope and Anchor, on Saturday, I glanced backwards and watched the pride of the Humber Sloop and Preservation Society - The Comrade, slip it's river mooring and glide effortlessly past the pub into the Humber. It was on its way to remove the passengers from sister ship Amey Howson which had been grounded on the mud banks earlier. I don't know if it was Ossenflag's enchanting vocal prowess, or the sight of my nethers, or me breath, come to that but the crew ended up exactly in the same position about an hour later. Muttering obscenities. Anyone within gobbing distance of the Humber can now see a Humber Keel and a Humber Sloop stuck fast in the channel to the west of Read's Island. Where they are likely to remain for at least two weeks, on account of the state of the tides, and the crew will probably turn to cannabalism again, this being Lincolnshire. Another equine triumph!

Deanmeister, are you running out of ink again? Your posts have a certain pithiness about them?

It is a Tuesday, and someone should mention the session in Nelly's, Beverley about now, so it might as well be me. I am now in training. Who else is making an apperance?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Noreen
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 07:56 AM

Covered in what, Oaklet? Chocolate?

(Thought it was me wot was supposed to be luring sailors onto the rocks mudbanks?)

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 09:35 AM

I am worried that they have drink stowed aboard, and they might eventually get the hang of the rowing boat. It is only one nautical mile of frenzied, testosterone and human flesh-fuelled, bearded rowing to my Friesians. Who had an uncomfortable night in the stalls, during the storms. I could still detect the plaintive, haunted drunken voices of the stranded sailors though, on the still, sticky night air. And the ethereal haunting song of Noreen the siren, atop an abandoned supermarket trolley, its dull chrome glinting pulsingly in the intermittent, heavy moonlight.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 10:33 AM

Anyway, Noreen, John said we'd make a good PEAR, in a momentary lapse of concentration. This is not the same as receiving his blessing, which would have involved the word PERA, at least a couple of nines, and a celebratory equals sign for good measure.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: ossonflags
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 10:47 AM

Oaklpoos,

Get your head out of the fresians arses and start reading the threads.

It states very clearly what we are doing on sat. and in the other personal oakley/john threads. nellies both bev. and 'ull is given a mention by myself.Pray excuse me sounding a little terse but I have just read on "meaning of BS "thread a personal attack on our drivel pool sites.

It may be worth our while to add our own pithy comments to their own?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: ossonflags
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 11:14 AM

re mmeaning of bs,have just added own pithy comment

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 11:16 AM

I will have to soothe you again, Ossonflags.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: ossonflags
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 11:16 AM

Read "bs what does bs stand for?"

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Noreen
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 12:01 PM

Now look what you've done- not only has the drivel spread to yet another thread, but we've been accused of clogging. And I don't think it was North West clogging...

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 01:10 PM

Everyone calm down. It could be a flash in Mustaffa's pan9. Doug has been asked to express his views here, by me and Ossonflags. I think he is local. If he does, I will soothe him with my hands dipped in balm. And you can do the same whilst drivelling. I think he is actually a very nice guy, and if it's the same bloke, one hell of a melodian player. Hence my reply about the Wooton session with which he may be familiar. Any drivel now will be wholly innapropriate......but what the buggery bollocks. I am now going with "Lodger" Frank to move the friesians to the stalls and Mrs Drinkall has finally washed her nets. I hope Siren Noreen isn't put off by the fracas, and spare a thought for the sailors marooned one nautical mile from the Hope and Anchor, South Ferriby UK.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: ossonflags
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 04:10 PM

yet again you have lepped to the rescue with your balm encrusted hands,you horny handed son of the soil you. Consider me soothed.However with your new found breath sans camels arse,maybe you would have the same success with siren noreen.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 07:37 PM

Ossenflags, leave the siren to me, I came fourth in a Tom Sellick look-alike competition in 1998 and have been looking for an opportunity to capitalise upon it. (The other three competitors were women). Doug is honest, that's all. He says what he thinks. And you know exactly how that is, and why you have so many friends. Honesty at all times and the presence of extraordinary friendships are not unrelated. Christ, that was soppy, even for me and I've already hit the submit button. Darn!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 07:57 PM

hEloo oaklet-I think honesty is important, i went to get my ice creem this morning, and i noticed sume basturd had nicked my wheely bin 9basturds!), in the last few weeks i had my car nicked , my chips, now my wheely bin, i am going to nick sumbody elses and tie it securely to my door this time.if you see a black wheely bin with 89 painted on it it is mine, but their is no reward for getting it back. A clue to if it is mine or not is it smills of bear and curry.I habe lost the key for my winnders, so my house stinks of bad feet in this wether, 9john harpmaker came to my house for to drink sume bear and he said "john, you house stinks, and to many bear cans in the flooor"), so i will habe to find it soon.john

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 08:04 PM

For sale: One wheelie bin. Hardly used. Would suit someone living at 89 somewhere. O Jesus, I have to leave the drivel pool via the shallow end. I have never been so very, very tired.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Banjo-Flower
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 08:07 PM

I live at 68 can i have it at half-price

Gerry

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Oaklet
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 08:12 PM

Gerry, what the fuck are you doing up at this hour? By the way, do you know what Doug is really like? You know, any goss? Just between you and me, you know, come on gez, jezza, just spill the beans, come on...

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Banjo-Flower
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 08:24 PM

What Doug of the folk police ? he sez he's going to have you for (allegedley9 ssh ENJOYING DRIVEL an i'll tell you the rest on sunday Btw what HAS happened to johN?

Gerry

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 08:26 PM

Oaklet-Doug plays concertina, and he's a scoutmaster.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: harpmaker
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 10:36 PM

"Do you teach pipes?" said JohNho FROM Hull, Well a bit I said. "Get your arse round, and ile teach you what I know". sO, we did a bit and it was OK. "Do you like my pipes" said 6john FROM hull9 (work that one out!) (me july!) I said 'yes, very nice, loverley skin, what is it btw,. You have just met my Hampster, he said.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 10:42 PM

aS this os a horse thread, i decided to post sumetink relevant, heres a horse tip=Rock of Gibralter, to win the 3.20 at Glorious Goodwood today.I reckon its got a good chance, the only danger been Novere, ridden by Mr Dettori. The oss is owned by Sir Alex of Manchester 9I wonder if he is any relation to Sir Roger de Beberley?), and has won his last 6 races, including the 2000 guineas, the Irish 2000 Guineas and the St James Stakes.9I will buy a new house for my hamster if it wins.john

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: harpmaker
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 10:55 PM

Also, when are you comming to see me and chris, awSome-flagingbottoms?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 11:20 PM

what the eck you on aboot JOhn, have you been drunking? its ot innit?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 30 Jul 02 - 11:28 PM

john-have you changed your name to July or summat, you put in brackets me july.if said oss wins, i might be phoning yer temmorer for a manderlin lesson,ps how is your 'e goldfishes? are yo going ter nellies on sunndy?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 31 Jul 02 - 03:17 AM

oakley,as i have already said consider me soothed.

There is absolutly no need to labour the point with this uncharecteristic soppyness. I am well aware that honesty is the best policy (trust me, i'm a shop steward remember?) I also say what I think.The matter is now closed.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 31 Jul 02 - 03:43 AM

harpmaker,why you no answer my emails? We have not fallen out have we? are you at the busking thingy?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse at South Ferriby ( UK)
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 31 Jul 02 - 05:03 AM

I've been thinking hard about the unpleasantness and discontent expressed in this thread, and if you bear with me, I think I have come up with a suggestion that will work.

What I propose is that Gerry purchases the 89 wheelie bin form Oaklet 9it having been de-spiced and in no way malodourous), and then stands it upside down outside number 68, he will solved his refuse disposal problem, Oaklet will have successfully fenced stolen goods, and jOhn doesn't have 9need of a bin if he is challenging Tracy Emin with his 'Unmade House' artistic statement; a sort of paeon to the take-away.

Gary