BS: Cannibals....any jokes?

Subject: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 07:15 PM

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Did ya hear the one about the cannibal who passed his brother in the jungle?
Did ya hear the one about the cannibal who toasted his mother in law on her birthday.
Did ya read that book... 'The Cannibals' by Henrietta Mann.
Two cannibals eating a clown and one said to the other.. "Do you think this tastes funny?

Any more please?

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: bobad
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 07:19 PM

The cannibal upon burping; "Excuse me must have been someone I ate."

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 07:34 PM

"Hey, Fred! Watcha doin'?"
"Just havin' a ball."

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 07:34 PM

From an old ad campaign:

Cannibals love Coca-Cola, 'cause things go better with Coke.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: Joe_F
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 08:15 PM

You're late. Everybody's eaten.

ObSongs: "The Reluctant Cannibal" by Flanders & Swann.
There is also one, IIRC, about Alferd Packer.

Among the anthropophagi,
One's friends are one's sarcophagi. -- Ogden Nash.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: Phil Cooper
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 09:34 PM

The cannibal who came to dinner late?

Got the cold shoulder!

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 09:38 PM

I know some about real cannibals, like Jeff Dahmer, but they're awfully "dark."

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Apr 07 - 10:15 PM

"Hey Fred! Watcha doin'?"
"Just tryin' to get a head, Sam."


"Here Sam, lemme give you a hand."

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 02:47 AM

Then there's the cannibal's son who wasn't allowed to join in games with the missionary's children as his mother told him not to play with his food.

DC

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: The PA
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 03:03 AM

Two cannibals munching on a clown one says to the other, does this taste funny to you?

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 09:32 AM

The cannibal mother told her children that airplanes were just like lobsters: once you get through the hard shell the insides were delicicous.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: WFDU - Ron Olesko
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 10:09 AM

Cannibal One - "I hate my mother-in-law"
Cannibal Two - "Then just eat the noodles"

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: Jeanie
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 12:47 PM

Not a cannibal *joke* exactly, but something real I read in a village magazine a couple of weeks ago and jotted down for an opportunity to arise to post it.

This is apparently what they get up to in remote Suffolk villages:

"LUNCHEON THANKS
May I thank Mrs. Mason and her team of ladies who regularly proved an excellent meal for the over 60's every month. I can assure them that they are much enjoyed by all."

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: Alaska Mike
Date: 02 Apr 07 - 06:09 PM

One day a cannibal visited the neighboring island of cannibals. There, people cost $2 but politicians cost $25. The visiting cannibal asked, "How come politicians cost so much?" The chief answered, "Do you know how hard it is to clean one of those?"

A man gets captured by cannibals and every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 12:27 PM

Then there was the cannibal who misunderstood when told that the new missionary was a friar.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: open mike
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 01:08 PM

not a joke....but related medical information

CREUTZFELDT-JAKOB DISEASE AND RELATED DISORDERS

"Mad Cow Disease" is called Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy (B.S.E.)
It is related to a form of similar prion-caused disease in sheep called Scrapie, and a wasting disease which is found in deer and elk. The human form is called Human Transmissible Spongiform Encephalopathy, or Creutzfeldt-Jacob.

Doctors Creutzfeldt and Jacob studied this disease in the 1920's in
Germany.

In 1950's in Papua New Guinea, KURU, a similar disease was found among the Fore, a tribe of cannibals.


KURU, A CANNIBAL DISEASE: The real breakthrough for understanding Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease occurred in 1957 with the discovery of a curious degenerative brain disease of cannibals. Certain Fore tribes of Papua, New Guinea were inflicted with a disease called Kuru - the trembling with fear. This disease manifested itself as a fatal disease with an onset and duration that lasted usually 1 year. To date there have been 2500+ cases reported in these relatively small villages with an occurrence of at least 1% of the population. It was prevalent in women and children but rarely affected adult males. The terminal stage of this brain disease was marked by total dementia, muteness, inability to move, ataxia (jerkiness of the muscles), dysarthria, dysphagia and death.

Kuru was determined to be linked to the ritual cannibalism that was practiced by these tribes. The brains of the elders were ritually prepared and eaten by the women and children, but seldom by the men. This endocannibalism was outlawed by the authorities of New Guinea and now the disease is slowly disappearing. There are still cases appearing due to the extreme incubation periods of the disease -exceeding 30 years in some instances. Kuru was successfully passed to chimpanzees in 1966 by intracerebral injection of brain specimens. This disease however, was not passed maternally or by mother's milk which was determined by very careful epidemiological studies. Further studies have even determined the exact cannibal feast that resulted in the transmission to certain victims. A suggested link to a bizarre disease of sheep (scrapie) was proposed in 1959 and ultimately lead to the path of understanding for Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease.
KURU--"laughing Death"

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: Scoville
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 02:33 PM

Then there was always the cannibal who called out for Dahmer's-Nose Pizza.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: Chris Green
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 03:03 PM

What's the definition of trust? Two cannibals having oral sex.





Ahem. Sorry....

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 05:29 PM

Everyone went away hungry from the cannibal banquet. They only served finger food.

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 09:59 PM

Do cannibals get angry if someone gives them the finger? I assume that they eat ladyfingers....

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: Chip2447
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 12:48 AM

2 cannials wat down for a meal of unfortunate explorer. The first cannibal says to the 2nd one, "you start at that end and I'll start at the other. We'll meet in the middle. A bt later the 2nd cannibal asks the first how he is doing?   First cannibal replies;
"I'm having a ball."
"Slow down, your eating too fast" said the the 2nd cannibal.


Did you hear the one about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?

Chip

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: Frivolous Sal
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 04:07 AM

"Mommy, I don't want hamburger for dinner."
"Shut up and put your hand in the blender."

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 07:10 AM

"My Dad gets up my nose"
"Stop sniffing then, Keith"

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 08:42 AM

Very current George...love it!

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: greg stephens
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 09:49 AM

During some coronation or other, Noel Coward and friends were watching the state coaches go by in procession from a balcony, and the King of Fiji's carriage passed. The King, extremely fat and splendidly clothed was sitting up waving regally, with a very small man in a top hat sat beside him.
Friend of Noel Coward: "who's the little chap with the King?"
Noel C: "His lunch, possibly?"

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: frogprince
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 10:43 AM

Then there was the cannibal who ate some each of a rabbi, a priest, and a protestant missionary, and had an ecumenical movement...

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: JohnB
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 01:24 PM

Then there is the Cannibal version of Julius Ceaser.
"Friends Romans Countrymen, lend me your ears, I come to Curry Ceaser, not to Braise him"
JohnB

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: Declan
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 01:56 PM

A cannibal was out hunting. He fired off his first arrow and hit a python. With his second arrow he hit a small 4 foot high native who was running through the jungle. He brought his two catches back to his family, who saw what he had brought and called out - "Oh no - not Snake and Pygmy pie again".

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 02:31 PM

"Well, missus, we were going through the jungle when we were surrounded by cannibals. And you know yer husband, and what an attitude problem he had and all...well, before we could stop him he looks right at the Chief says, 'Aw, eat me!' And them's were his last words."

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 08:51 PM

This is supposedly a true story about a surviving shipwrecked sailor who was questioned by one of the relatives of a young sailor who didn't survive.

"Did you know our young Jonathan well?"

"Did I know him well? Hell, I ate him!"

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: michaelr
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 10:12 PM

What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbit?




























"Are you gonna eat that?"

Subject: RE: BS: Cannibals....any jokes?
From: Bagpuss
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 11:41 AM

There's the one about the cannibal invited up to a party who asks "Can I bring a friend up?"...