Lyr Add: I'll Do My Smoking in the Rain (parody)

Subject: Lyr Add: I'LL DO MY SMOKING IN THE RAIN (parody)
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 30 Jun 07 - 07:12 PM

I'll never let you see
The way my coughing lungs are hurting me
I got my pride and I know how to hide
Every nicotine stain
I'll do my smoking in the rain

Slip out in stormy skies
Then smoke and cough till I get tears in my eyes
Where I have been looks like a disaster scene
Just cigarette butts remain
I do my smoking in the rain

I love you more than heaven
But our relationship is never enough
So when we are together
I pray for stormy weather
I hide the packet and go out for a puff.

Someday when my coughing is done
I'll wear a minty smile and walk in the sun.
I may be a fool
but till the end darling you 'll
Never see me complain
I'll do my smoking in the rain.

(Based on the eponymous Everly Bros hit - June 2007)

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 30 Jun 07 - 07:14 PM

This is a thread for parodies reflecting on the 15-minute bold ban on smoking in enclosed public places in England. Please add more.

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: Ebbie
Date: 30 Jun 07 - 07:40 PM

Oh. In Juneau, we have those clusters too. They're called the 'leper colony'. :)

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: GUEST,wordy
Date: 30 Jun 07 - 07:44 PM

Nice one George!
My wife and I are going to our local pub for the first time in over twenty years tomorrow.
Freedom at last!

Subject: Lyr Add: SMOKE GETS IN YOUR EYES (parody)
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 30 Jun 07 - 07:52 PM

They asked me must you go
We will miss you so
Oh, I of course replied
Something here inside cannot be denied

They said outside it's wet
Shun that cigarette
Oh, when your heart's on fire
You must realize
Smoke gets in your eyes

So I puffed then and I gaily coughed
To think they could put out my fags
Yet today my fags are blown away
I am without my fags

Now laughing friends deride
Tears I can not hide
Oh, so I smile and say
When a lovely flame dies
Smoke gets in your eyes
Smoke gets in your eyes

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: Fliss
Date: 30 Jun 07 - 08:01 PM

A woman asked if she could join us at our table in the pub... the smoking area, there werent any seats elsewhere. THen proceeded to smoke all over us and complained what would we all do after July 1st. I said I would hang out the bunting, do cartwheels down the road and shout "I can breath again!" She seemed a bit taken aback and said she couldnt understand why the non smokers couldnt go and stand outside.

Its July 1st and 59 mins... whooppee

Subject: Lyr Add: THE TIMES THEY ARE A-CHANGIN' (parody)
From: Sugwash
Date: 30 Jun 07 - 08:50 PM

Good un George.

Come all you smokers throughout all the land,
I'll tell you something you won't understand,
You can't smoke in the pub because it's been banned,
So take your foul habit into the carpark.

It used to be Woodbines, but it's Nicorette now
For the times they are a-changing

Don't take out your roll-ups, don't hand round your snout,
Don't load up your meershaum or you'll get thrown out.
For the law will be on you, of that there's no doubt,
It'll be easier than catching a burglar.

It used to be Woodbines, but it's Nicorette now,
For the times they are a-changing.

So you smokers have had it, there's no place for you.
You'll have to go outside for a gasper or two.
Or the chemist has nicotine gum you can chew,
Or patches to plaster your body.

It used to be Woodbines, but it's Nicorette now,
For the times they are a-changing.

"I dont smoke, but I always enjoyed a good cough." Ardal O'Hanlon.

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: Cathie
Date: 30 Jun 07 - 09:34 PM

Love it George. Can't sleep easily tonight after giving up today.



Bye bye – Miss my fags alread-die

Drove to Kent, new car scent, and my clothes stayed quite dry.

That good ol' gum, patches fused to my bum,

Saying 'don't you smell nice' when I walk by.

Subject: Lyr Add: YESTERDAY (parody)
From: Rockhen
Date: 30 Jun 07 - 09:48 PM

Yesterday, when my troubles were their 40 a day
now it seems much nicer in here today
Oh I'm relieved it's not yesterday...
Suddenly, eyes not half as sore as they used to be
There's no shadow hanging over me
Oh I'm relieved it's not yesterday...

Sorry for the dreadful attempt and I DO sympathise a little with smokers but...I am really looking forward to not sharing anyone's fags anymore...

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: alanabit
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 05:42 AM

Hilarious parodies. Nice to see the smokers having a sense of humour about it too. Keep them coming.

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: Uncle Boko
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 05:45 AM

Must be over 400 years since taverns were smoke free!

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: alanabit
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 07:10 AM

Ah - we are reviving an ancient tradition then!

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: Leadfingers
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 07:16 AM

Walter Raleigh didnt know what he was starting , did he ??

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: GUEST,Fag Man with Brolly :0)
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 07:54 AM

"
Walter Raleigh didnt know what he was starting , did he ??

They're not banning Potatoes in Chip shops now are they?


Around 1589, Raleigh planted the potato, described as the "Openhauk" by Hariot, in his garden at Myrtle Grove, Youghal, near Cork.

"The ancient Incas were cultivating this humble tuber thousands of years ago. The potato was not readily accepted in Europe, however, because it was known to be a member of the nightshade family (as are the tomato and eggplant) and therefore thought to be poisonous. In the 16th century, Sir Walter Raleigh was instrumental in debunking the poisonous potato superstition when he planted them on property he owned in Ireland."


- and for all you Gloating, non-smoking Real Ale Drinkers - no whingeing about the way you ale taste in a plastic container when the Glass Ban in pubs comes in! - it's on its way now (TRUE)

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: GUEST,pavane
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 08:14 AM

Surely a pewter tankard will be allowed.

Glad about the smoking ban. I used to be the odd one out as a non-smoker and I never thought this glorious day would come.

Well, it arrived a while ago in Wales, and now you can't get in the door at a club because of all the people smoking outside - still have to breathe it as you fight your way through.

Hasten to add, I don't go to clubs through choice, its when Mrs Pavane has a gig there. She finds it much better for singing, too.

Soory I don't have a parody song ready yet

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: Declan
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 08:22 AM

We've had a smoking ban in pubs in Ireland for a couple of years now.

As a non-smoker I'm very happy about that. Besides the fact that being in the pub is just more pleasant for non-smokers, there have been many beneficial effects, including the fact that a number of musicians who had stopped coming to our sessions because the smoke was affecting their health have come back to play with us.

I changed the strings on my guitar today and gave it a bit of a clean. I remember the amount of gunge that used to accumulate on it in the pre-smoking ban days. There was hardly any visible dirt on it, a big change from when pubs were smokey. I imagine the same is true of my lungs.

And even for the smokers a whole new social scene has grown up outside the pubs, most are happier now than before. Only downside is it can get quite lonely in the session during the smoke breaks.

Subject: Lyr Add: DANNY BOY (parody)
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 08:22 AM

Re-Posted from its own thread (to keep them together)

DANNY BOY (Smoking Ban, for Summer 2007)
(new words Nigel Parsons, Original words Fred E Wetherley)

Oh Danny boy, my pipe is just a token,
No more we see the fag, or the cigar
For far away our Parliament has spoken.
From this time on, "No smoking in the bar"
They'll seek us out, wherever we are smoking.
Within the pub there'll be no place to hide.
For everywhere, their noses they'll be poking.
So kindly watch my beer while I just pop outside!

Someday, maybe, when Parliament's more mellow.
And pubs install some more effective fans
The ceilings will no longer be all yellow.
And smoking men won't need to heed these bans
And on that day we'll join the other drinkers
Once more be free of all 'Health Lobby' hype
The 'Nanny State' will throw away their blinkers
And we can drink enjoying fag, cigar, or pipe.
.    Until that day, the view against us hardens.
.    We'll go outside, to smoke & drink our ale.
.    We'll frequent pubs possessed of beer gardens
.    And drink dark mild because we are 'beyond the pale'

Subject: Lyr Add: JUST SMOKIN' IN THE RAIN (parody)
From: Flash Company
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 11:23 AM

Just smokin' in the rain,
Getting soaked right through,
Torturing my lungs,
The way I always do,
Just smokin' in the rain,
Can't do it in the bar,
Now there is a ban,
So I never get a jar,
Folks look out of their windows,
They all stare at me,
Shake their heads in sorrow,
Saying who can this fool be?
Just smokin' in the rain,
Really ain't a joke,
Have to give up fags,
Think I might try coke!

Sorry Johnnie Ray!

Brian Q

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: Kampervan
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 11:42 AM

Down here in Kent, the local brewers, Shepherd Neame, have established 'Smoke easies' in or rather, outside, their pubs.

Going to be a bit cold in winter - open sided - but with tables and lights. Not ideal (I don't smoke but most of my best friends do) but better than nothing.

How long before these are banned, like they want to do wih smoking on the pavement outside offices?

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: GUEST,Greycap
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 03:28 PM

Did my first pub gig this afternoon following the ban - pub still crowded with people, some of which were back in pubs for the first time in years. Got home and didn't have to showewr and put reeking clothes in the laundry basket. Lovely!!
I was a heavy smoker for about 30 years - I know both sides of the fence and the argument, this is a good law.

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: CharleyO'Neill
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 04:06 PM

I have just played in a pub in Leigh, Lancashire called Hogans. It is one of the friendliest venues that we play in, but indeed, one of the smokiest ! However, today things had changed ! The ashtrays had gone and the air was clean!! Furthermore, there were not noticably less people in the pub. People just seemed to adapt, folk were smoking outside, but it did not appear that much of a big deal - very surprising, but indeed inspiring....

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: The Sandman
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 04:20 PM

Declan ,Ialso live in IRELAND,and agree with you.

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: Pistachio
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 04:43 PM

I'VE GIVEN UP PASSIVE SMOKING!

I spent yesterday afternoon at a wedding (my hubby was Best Man) and the 'reception' was a smoke hell.
It was horrible, watching the bride and many guests lighting up even before the food was served, ash trays on every table and so little ventilation that a haze hung over it all. Ugh!

Thanks for all the above. I'll not try and write a parody but my little phrase is:

Celebrate happy days, now we have no Haze!

H.

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: Jim I
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 04:51 PM

Isn't it interesting though that the only ENCLOSED place in the UK where smoking is still allowed is:-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
wait for it
-
-
-
-
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The Members Bar in the House of Commons!

At least that's what our local radio station declared today!

Seems it's one law for us and one law for them.
Why am I not surprised!

Jim

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 05:26 PM

Yes, I'd heard about that and wondered what the justification was.
But if we beliebe that this is a good law - and the majority I think agrees - then one could argue that the MPs don't know what's good for them!

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 05:37 PM

Not quite.

It's allowed in closed places when they are not public,
Apart from those places where staff are employed.
And also in prisons and in Royal Palaces
That's how the Members this ban can avoid

I put that in verse since this thread is for songs.
It's down in the BS prose fighting belongs.

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: Leadfingers
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 07:06 PM

Well the Brewery Tap in Brentford was a LOT more pleasant without the Smoke tonight !!

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: GUEST,JTT
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 07:20 PM

I've seen fire and I've seen rain...

It's so great that smokers will no longer impose their pollution on decent working men and women who have to make a living working in pubs. And other workplaces.

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: GUEST,Greycap
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 07:34 PM

Let's not get upset about smoking in the area where politicians are gathered - think it over, they are allowing themselves a shorter lifespan. Does that sound an attractive proposition?
Personally, I'm for it.
Does that give you any concept on their intellect?
Still wanna vote for them?
Watcha say?

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 08:20 PM

Two BS discussion threads on this topic:
42 days to no smoking (UK)

BS: Non Smokers thread England UK

Leaving this thread for songs maybe?

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: Tim theTwangler
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 10:00 PM

There are worse things in bars than smokers.
Drunks,junkies,crap bands,kids,and piano,s.
Oh yes and the prices!

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: Snuffy
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 04:18 AM

Well I don't want a pipe nor a cee-gar, not me
Just give me a pub where the air is smoke-free
I can play me old squeezebox, or sing you a song
If the air that I breathe isn't doing me wrong.

So farewll to the Rothmans and Bensons
No more with a fag I'll be seen
You may think I'm joking,
But I've given up smoking
And you'll never see me with Rizlas green

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 04:25 AM

Beaut, Snuffy, John C 'd have been proud!

Subject: Lyr Add: I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW (parody)
From: trayton
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 08:56 AM

I can see clearly now the smoke has gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It's going to be a bright, bright smoker free day

And I can sing clearly now the smoke has gone
No more wheezing in my air way
Gone are the smoking crowds that were a bind
It's going to be a bright, bright smoker free day

At a sing-a-round there's nothing but clean air
Look round my head nothing but clean air

Think I'll make the session now the smoke has gone
And all of the bad odors have disappeared
I can smell sweetly now the smoke has gone
It's gonna be a bright, bright Sunshiny day

Subject: Lyr Add: WILD ROVER (parody)
From: GUEST,sparticus
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 10:13 AM

I've been a pipe smoker for many a year
And I've spent all me money on baccy and beer.
But smoking's now banned in the pub, it's the law,
So I never can light up, 'cept outside the door.

And it's no, nay, never, no nay never no more,
Will the Petersen get lit, when I step indoors.

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: alanabit
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 10:15 AM

Hello, is that Spartacus the blues singer, from Mississippi? If it is welcome back. Where have you been?

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: Les from Hull
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 10:22 AM

No! I'm Spartacus.

Thanks for posting this song, George. Maggie has already snaffled it to sing at singarounds (with due credit, of course). Or maybe we could sing it to the other snoutcasts at the pub door singaround!

Thanks, mate
Les

Subject: RE: I'll do my smoking in the rain
From: GUEST,teachers pest
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 04:31 PM

While i have never smoked,i see all of this as more than a joke.Was it the thin end of the wedge,when they told us to eat 5 fruit and veg.The camera's follow our every move,and we are guilty till nothing to prove.But i think The Twanglers going too far you know,if he thinks we can do without a piano.