Killer verses

Subject: Killer verses
From: Colin Randall
Date: 04 Sep 07 - 06:37 AM

The new Rachel Unthank album The Bairns has what she calls a whole story packed into four lines:

"My lad's a canny lad, he works doon the pit
He never comes to see us unless he wants a bit
I asked him would he marry us, you should have seen him wince
I think I've lost me canny lad, I've never seen him since"   

I remember Tom Paxton long ago feature one single-verse item mocking Spiro Agnew's stupidity, and another poking fun at the advertising industry: "When your loved one has to go/Dial 6-7-3-9-0"

(I probably have the funeral parlour number wrong but you get the idea)

Do any other killer verses spring to mind?

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: kendall
Date: 04 Sep 07 - 06:49 AM

"If you cheat again he'll have to move the flowers" grabs me.

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 04 Sep 07 - 07:06 AM

Rooty toot, toot,
Six shot she did shot,
Right through them swingin' doors.
He was her man,
But he done her wrong

Sincerley, Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 04 Sep 07 - 07:34 AM

BONNIE AND CLYDE by George Fame

They used to laugh about dyin'

but deep inside them they knew
that pretty soon they'd be lyin'
beneath the ground together.
Pushin' up daisies to welcome the sun and the morning dew.

Acting upon reliable information

a Fed'ral deputation laid a deadly ambush.
when Bonnie and Clyde came walking in the sunshine
a half a dozen carbines opened up on them.
Bonnie and Clyde they lived a lot together
and finally together they died

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 04 Sep 07 - 07:56 AM

I'll sing of Spiro Agnew,
And all the things he's done.

Tom Paxton

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: frogprince
Date: 04 Sep 07 - 04:28 PM

Over fifty years ago, I heard Carl Sandburgh sing what he called "The shortest blues song":

      Papa loved Mama; Mama loved men;
      Mama's in the graveyard; Papa's in the pen.

It kinda ticked me off to hear it incorporated as part of a "full length" country song a few years ago.

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Snuffy
Date: 04 Sep 07 - 05:57 PM

Chambers Caskets - dial Columbia triple-O

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: GUEST,Terry McDonald
Date: 04 Sep 07 - 06:01 PM

'The revolution has begun
So I'll go home and get me gun
And shoot the Duke of Wellington'

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 04 Sep 07 - 06:26 PM

Marty Robbins (1959)

One night a wild young cowboy came in
Wild as the West Texas wind
Dashing and daring, a drink he was sharing
With wicked Felina, the girl that I loved

So in anger
I challenged his right for the love of this maiden
Down went his hand for the gun that he wore
My challenge was answered in less than a heartbeat
The handsome young stranger lay dead on the floor

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Tootler
Date: 04 Sep 07 - 07:30 PM

From the Well below the valley:

"For seven long years I'll be ringing the bell
But the Lord above may save my soul from portin' in Hell
At the well below the valley-o..."

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Songster Bob
Date: 04 Sep 07 - 08:03 PM

Well, "Killer" verses can "kill" a song, that's for sure. In fact, too many songs have all that's needed in one verse, and the rest is just baggage. It's better to have every verse be of the same importance as the rest of the verses, so, really, "killer" verses can kill a song. For example, "How can I miss you when you won't go away?" tells the whole song, but Dan Hicks and his Hot Licks sang the whole thing anyway.

Then again, some verses do contain the heart of the song, the real crux, the "nut," and the song is much the less if that verse were to be changed. In that vein, here's a verse of a song I've never bothered to learn the rest of, because it's so perfect:

God made man in His own image, and all things were going right.
But it seems that man was doomed to sin and toil.
Eve, she tasted of the apple, begged till Adam took a bite,
And that put the human family to the wall.
Since man was first beguiled, woman's kept on going wild,
Causing him to get all kinds of punishments
We may plainly understand, woman was made after man,
And she's been after man ever since!

(From Blind Alfred Reid, my favorite curmudgeon)


Bob Clayton

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Joe_F
Date: 04 Sep 07 - 08:56 PM

A captain bold from Halifax, who dwelt in country quarters,
Seduced a maid who hanged herself one Monday in her garters.
His wicked conscience smited him; he lost his stomach daily.
He took to drinking ratafee, and thought upon Miss Bailey.

-- certainly sets the scene with great efficiency.

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: GUEST,Mickey
Date: 04 Sep 07 - 09:29 PM

Following my footsteps
trying to see where they might end.
I'm tryin' to break these blues,
but I can't even get them to bend.

From Midnight in Memphis by nJ J Cale

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: GUEST,282RA
Date: 04 Sep 07 - 09:37 PM

Nooo, I just had to look at another one and now I must spread this cancerous rot far and wide. I'm going down alone. Jan Terri again here demonstrating that white people having no rhythm or moves is not a stereotype. YOU'VE NEVER HEARD VERSES LIKE THIS! Her leading man, just as sleezy as the one before, gets close-ups that make me think of serial killer documentaries for some reason. Towards the end during another totally unwarranted close up, he utters what appears to be "I see programs" followed by "penis!" With halloween around the corner, I figure why not ramp up the creepiness as well as the taudry, campy, cheesy horror right now?

Enjoy

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Effsee
Date: 04 Sep 07 - 09:41 PM

After a great build up....

"Monys a yin for him maks mane,
but nane sall ken whaur he has gaen,
ower his white banes for evermair,
the wind sall blaw forever mair"

The Twa Corbies...ANON

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: john f weldon
Date: 04 Sep 07 - 09:50 PM

The Ships out on the Ocean
Sail Oer My true love's Breast
His Body's in a slow and gentle motion
I hope his soul's at rest...

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: john f weldon
Date: 04 Sep 07 - 09:59 PM

Though your head it may wrack with a bilious attack
And your senses with toothache you're losing
Don't be mopey and flat, they won't fine you for that
If you're properly quaint and amusing
Though your wife ran away with a soldier that day
And took with her your trifle of money
Bless your heart, they don't mind; they're exceedingly kind...
They won't blame you, so long as you're funny.

A Private Buffoon, WS Gilbert (and Sullivan)

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: john f weldon
Date: 04 Sep 07 - 10:03 PM

The bullet was quick, but I was quicker
Steve hopped out and took it in the ticker
Phoned up Miami, no time to grieve
Ha ha ya missed me... ...hit my brother Steve!

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: john f weldon
Date: 04 Sep 07 - 10:15 PM

We coulda been isotopes, we coulda been cantaloups...
We coulda been hatracks, or dice...
We coulda been semaphores, we coulda been dinosaurs...
We coulda been cough drops or lice...
We coulda been roadmaps, a bucket of mousetraps...
A couple of big shoes, on a bus...
We coulda been dipsticks, or lavender lipsticks....
But happened to be us!

Red Kimono (The Berrymans)

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Sep 07 - 10:31 PM

Killer verses? Heck, I just go straight to Bob Dylan, Leonard Cohen, and Mary Chapin Carpenter for that. Enough Killer verses to paper over Washington Square. I won't trouble you by quoting any of them.

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: kendall
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 07:27 AM

..but Willy McBride it all happened again, and again, and again and again, and again.....

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: brassy sharman
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 07:50 AM

6 feed of mud, Cyril Tawney

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Celtaddict
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 01:50 PM

The ways of man are passing strange:
He buys his freedom and he counts his change,
Then he lets the wind his days arrange,
And he calls the tide his master. . .

Gordon Bok, The Ways of Man

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: kendall
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 03:59 PM

I don't mind the wet and cold,
I just don't like the growing old...FUNDY, Gordon Bok. (He was 21 when he wrote that)

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: TheSnail
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 04:18 PM

Not a verse but a chorus -

But I tell these kids a hundred times, don't take the lakes for granted.
They'll go from calm to a hundred knots, so fast they seem enchanted,
But tonight some red eyed Whiarton girl, lies staring at the wall
And her lover's gone into a white squall.

Stan Rogers

I'm a quivering jelly by the ned of the song.

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Uncle Phil
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 11:09 PM

First time I shot her I shot her in the side,
Hard to watch her suffer,
But with the second shot she died,
Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone.

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 12:57 AM

Mama don't whup Little Buford
Mama don't pound on his head
Mama Don't Whup Little Buford
I think you should shoot him instead

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: MystMoonstruck
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 01:23 AM

There are numerous variations, but here's one (though not my favorite):
[i]They buried Willie in the old church yard,
And Barbara there anigh him,
And out of his grave grew a red, red rose,
And out of hers, a briar.

They grew and grew in the old churchyard,
Till they couldn't grow no higher,
They lapped and tied in a true love's knot.
The rose ran around the briar.[/i]

~Barbara Allen (of course)

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Charley Noble
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 10:12 AM

"Country Squall" by Willie P. Bennett:

Baby, if I'd been a gambler,
I'd have turned out a different way;
But lately, everywhere I go,
It's the same highway;
And if I were born some time else
This could be a different day;
Like the rise and fall of a country squall,
Getting' ready to fade away.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Susanne (skw)
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 07:26 PM

There are many different ways a man can be killed
All you need is a simple when and where
Just make sure he's born today somewhere on this earth
And do nothing else, my friends, just leave him there, leave him there
He will do the rest himself, just leave him there

('Five Ways To Kill A Man', poem by Edwin Brock, adapted to the tune of 'Ye Jacobites by name' by Iain MacKintosh)

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Flatpick
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 07:38 PM

"And as through this world you travel you meet lots of funny men,
Some will rob you with a six-gun, and some with a fountain pen"

Pretty Boy Floyd by Woody Guthrie.
I seem to meet the latter type quite often...how about you?

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Joe_F
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 08:09 PM

Don't need no whiskey, don't need no rum,
Just need you, baby, when the summer come.

*

First time she shot him, he staggered.
Next time she shot him, he fell.
Last time she shot her Johnny,
There was a new man's face in hell.

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Midchuck
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 09:23 PM

Now these gentlemen were ignorant, or didn't know just where they were.
The deacon's face grew darker as he measured every word:
"You horsehair-braiding sons of bitches
Stole my claim to earthly riches!
Someone go and dig a ditch;
There may well be a hangin'"

Tom Russell, The Sky Above, the Mud Below.

Peter

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: michaelr
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 10:29 PM

Behind the garden shithouse
That's where the sweetest flowers grow
We're all flowers in God's garden
That's why He spreads the shit around

(David Byrne)

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Charley Noble
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 10:33 PM

From "Wild Bill Jones":

He reeled and he staggered,
And he fell to the ground;
He gave one dying moan;
I threw my arms around my pretty girl's neck sayin',
"Baby, won't you please come home!"

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Uncle Phil
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 11:24 PM

"I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die"
J.R. Cash, Folsom Prison Blues

"Tonight we ride, you bastards dare,
We'll kill the wild Apache for the bounty on his hair,
Then we'll ride into Durango, climb up the whorehouse stairs,
Tonight we ride, tonight we ride."

Tom Russell, Tonight We Ride

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: GUEST,DonMeixner
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 12:18 AM

First time I heard these lines, Art Thieme sung em!

Don


Hang Me Oh Hang Me and I'll be dead and gone,

Hang me oh hang me and I'll be dead and gone,

I do not mind the dyin',

But the layin' in the grave so long.

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 04:58 AM

Bang bang, she shot me down.
Bang bang, I hit the ground.
Bang bang, that awful sound.
Bang bang, my baby shot me down.

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: GUEST,The black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 07:45 AM

The short version of the "Prickle Holly Bush"

Come hangman slack your ..urgk!

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: GUEST,Young Buchan
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 11:14 AM

From the singing of John Stickle, I think:

Twa, twa made the bed.
Twa, twa lay down th'gither.
When the bed began to creak
The ane ha' been abo' the ither.

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Big Mick
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 11:45 AM

I could do a whole thread of killer lines just from the verses of "The Dutchman".

.......not the kind of man to keep his thumb jammed in the dam that holds the dreams in..

.......sometimes she sees her unborn children in his eyes..

......I used to be a young man, and dear Margaret remembers that for me..

......His cap and coat are patched with love that Margaret sewed there...

......Sometimes he thinks that he's alone and calls her name

......She makes the bed up humming some old love song, She learned it when the tune was very new. She hums a line or two, they hum together, in the night.....


That just might be the most amazing love song ever written, certainly right at the front of the queue.

All the best,

Mick

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Marje
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 03:47 PM

I'll offer two extracts of songs - one old, one modern. First, from Burns:

"Had we never loved sae kindly,
Had we never loved sae blindly,
Never me - or never parted -
We had ne'er been broken-hearted."

And then there's Joni Mitchell's "Little Green" (about giving her baby up for adoption) - I could quote any of it, but the lines that say so much in so few words, for me, are:

"You write him a letter and say 'Her eyes are blue',
He sends back a poem, and she's lost to you"

Marje

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: cptsnapper
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 04:55 PM

His argument proved by the Oberlin River that love to a woman is all.
Oh, he was a master of English balladry but not the Australian crawl.

" Oberlin River " The Limeliters

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Sep 07 - 06:42 PM

after he discovers his 'true love' is up in a room with another man..

"Since it is no better, I'm glad it is no worse,
Brandy in my bottle, and money in my purse."

I've Rambled This Country, Both Erlye and Late


-------------------------------------------------------------------
"Then a big Turkish shell knocked me arse over head
And when I woke up in my hospital bed
And saw what it had done, I wished I was dead
Never knew there were worse things than dying"

The Band Played Waltzing Matilda

-----------------------------------------------------------

"Noah said, "Lord, it's lookin' mighty dry!
The Lord said, "Noah, see my rainbow in the sky.
Take all your creatures and people the Earth;.....
But be sure you're not more trouble than you're worth.""

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Snuffy
Date: 08 Sep 07 - 11:40 AM

Noah Found Grace in the Eyes of the Lord

I'll go with those three, Bill

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Susanne (skw)
Date: 08 Sep 07 - 02:21 PM

The Selkirk Grace:

Some hae meat and cannae eat
Some would eat that want it
We hae meat and we can eat
So let the Lord be thankit

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Lucius
Date: 08 Sep 07 - 04:29 PM

Big Mick is spot on about The Dutchman. Michael Smith has the knack. My favorite version is that of Steve Goodman's, who also gave us a the world's most concise blues song:

My baby came to me this morning
She said I'm sort of confused.
If me a B.B. King both were drowning,
Which one would you choose?
and I said Whoa....baby, I said Whoa....baby,
I said Whoa....baby, I ain't never heard you play me no blues.

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Tim Leaning
Date: 09 Sep 07 - 07:32 AM

You were born in a squat
and yer mums on the game
Yer father she never quite knew
came into this world
for the price of a fix
the very first turn of the screw

By The Twanglers
He he

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: bankley
Date: 09 Sep 07 - 11:45 AM

"He died drunk early one morning, alone in the land he fought to save
Two inches of water in a muddy ditch was a grave for Ira Hayes"

Peter LaFarge

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Sep 07 - 11:52 AM

He freely gave to charity, he had the common touch,
And they were grateful for his patronage and thanked him very much,
So my mind was filled with wonder when the evening headlines read:
"Richard Cory went home last night and put a bullet through his head

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Sep 07 - 02:24 PM

"And my belly's cravin', I've got a shakin' in my head
Feel like I'm dyin' and I wish I was dead
If I live till tomorrow, that'll be a long time
And I'll reel, and I'll fall, and I'll die on Codi'ne
And it's reel, and it's real, one more time..." - Buffy Sainte-Marie

"Sometimes I recall what others have said
Love is for lovers, in love and full grown
Life's for the living, and death's for the dead
And the death of a heart is a fathom unknown." - Buffy Sainte-Marie

"Now that the pride of the sires receives charity
Now that we're harmless and safe behind laws
Now that my life's to be known as your heritage
Now that even the graves have been robbed
Now that our own chosen way is a novelty
Hands on our hearts, we salute you your victory
Choke on your blue, white and scarlet hypocrisy
Pitying the blindness that you've never seen
That the eagles of war whose wings lent you glory
They were never no more than carrion crows
Drove the wrens from their nest, stole their eggs, changed their story
The mockingbird sings it, it's all that she knows
And, "Ah, what can I do?" say a powerless few
With a lump in your throat and a tear in your eye
Can't you see that their poverty's profiting you?
My country 'tis of thy people you're dying." - Buffy Sainte-Marie

That last song was a devastatingly powerful comment in the historical time in which it was recorded, and it got her blacklisted off all North American radio stations for at least 10 years (at the most crucial point in her musical career), courtesy of the US government pulling some quiet strings by means of the FBI, etc....as Lyndon Johnson reportedly said, "Methinks the lady protests too much".

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Santa
Date: 09 Sep 07 - 03:54 PM

How do you like my feather bed
and how do you like my sheets?
and how do you like my lady gay
who lies in your arms asleep?

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Sep 07 - 04:23 PM

"Oh, it's fine I like your bed
And it's better I like your sheets
But it's best I like the fair young maid
Who lies in my arms asleep, who lies in my arms asleep..."

That's got to be the nerviest comeback of all time by the good Matty Groves. Mind you, a man can afford to be nervy when his imminent and violent death appears to be a virtual certainty! ;-) Still, I have to admire the lad's pluck to come up with those lines, given the situation. One wonders if Lady Arlen was literally "asleep" through the brief verbal exchange between Matty and Lord Arlen...I think probably not. More likely, she was momentarily just at a loss for words.

Joan Baez does a killer version of it on one of her live at Carnegie Hall albums.

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: john f weldon
Date: 09 Sep 07 - 05:44 PM

...ah yes, the joy of the witty rejoinder. Alas that you then end up dead.

What Matty should have said...
"Hey man, is this your bed?
And your lovely wife so dear?
My mistake! Just hand me my pants,
And I'll get the hell out of here!"

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Sep 07 - 12:10 AM

She don't want to hear no secrets
With her white silk scarves
And her black Spanish hat
She knows there ain't no way I can deny her
Yes her blue velvet perfume
Filling up the night
The guards are all asleep
That watch the tower
The moon light held her breast
As she easily undressed
In my darkest hour


Arlo Guthrie

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Sep 07 - 11:16 PM

The crowd without a face
Begins to fill the space
In the arena
Flashlights at his feet
The lion from the street
Awaits the Christians

Bob Seger

When posting as a GUEST, you must use a consistent "handle" or you risk having your posts deleted. Thanks.

Subject: Lyr Add: EMPTYHANDED (George Papavgeris)
From: Big Mick
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 01:01 AM

I may have missed it, but how's this for a killer lyric:

My arms and back are strong, and I have worked all hours that the good Lord gave
But for my efforts I have had so very little in return
This soil is too unyielding to the plough
Too hard to soften with the sweat that trickles from my brow
The crop so weak that there is almost nothing left to burn.

My savings went to buy this land, but all it's good for is to bury me
Unless I find a way to make it pay that could be very soon
The future that I dreamed as a young man
Is withered like the crops beneath the unrelenting sun
The very one that makes this such a lovely afternoon.

So what would happen if I just went right on walking till I disappeared
And would they miss me if I had a mind the countryside to roam
They followed me with hopes for Paradise
The one thing I can't do right now is look them in the eyes
I wish this road would swallow me and never take me home.


Then there is the chorus

It's not the setting sun that makes my face look red
You rich will never understand it
And if I walk as if my shoes were made of lead
It's the shame of coming back home emptyhanded.


George Papavgeris is one of the most talented songwriters working today, and in the long view will be remembered as a man who captures the essence of everyday, working folks life experience. As a labor organizer, and activist, I believe his fame and respect will long outlive him.

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Stewie
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 02:26 AM

From Geeshie Wiley's 'Skinny leg blues':

I'm gonna cut your throat, baby, I'll look down in your face (x2)
Hey, I'll look down in your face
I'm gonna let some lonesome graveyard be your restin' place

--Stewie.

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Don Firth
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 03:42 PM

You stole my wife,
You horsethief!!

(sung by Walt Robertson)

Don Firth

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Jock O' Dreams
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 05:38 PM

Ye see yon Birkie caud a Lord,
Wha struts and stares and a' that,
Though hundreds worship at his word
He's but a coof for a' that.
For a' that and a' that
His ribband, star and a' that
A man o' independent mind
He looks an' laughs at a' that

From Robbie Burns - A Mans a Man

I want this on my Grave Stone !! or at least the last two lines!

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Susanne (skw)
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 06:17 PM

'Your father's gone campaigning'
Was their way of not explaining
That soldiers are the living proof
Of our inhumanity

Pete St John, Tunes of Glory (aka Margaret and Me)

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: BK Lick
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 06:42 PM

Like some ragged owlet with its wings expanded
Nailed to some garden gate or boardin'
Thus will I by some men all my life be branded
Never hurted none this side of Jordan

Pull off your old coat and roll up your sleeves
Life is a hard road to travel, I believes

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: John O'L
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 09:58 PM

And poor uncle Vlad whom the doc declared mad
For refusing to leave his beloved Leningrad
She stood in the doorway tearful and sad
As they frog-marched him off to the Gulag
(The Death Of The Bear
- Donal McDonald)


Well my daddy used to talk about them long nights at the walls
And how they used to strap 'em in the chair
The kids down from the college and they'd bring their beer 'n all
An' when the lights went out a cheer rose in the air
(Ellis Unit One
- Steve Earle)

And what did it say?
"It is that," "It is this"
"This goes here, here is there"
"It is not," "Yes it is."
It was dulling your senses,
Your eyes they were bound
Have you ever my friends
been looking around?
(Miserere
- The Cat Empire)

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Pauline L
Date: 24 Sep 07 - 12:22 AM

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The Vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Pauline L
Date: 24 Sep 07 - 12:44 AM

Her eyes grew wide for a moment, she drew one last deep breath
Then her finger moved in the moonlight --
Her musket shattered the moonlight --
Shattered her breast in the moonlight and warned him with her death.

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 24 Sep 07 - 12:57 PM

To Don Firth:

Did Walt Robertson introduce that two-liner as "The world's shortest folk song?" It definitely rings a bell...

Back in time, there were songs that were, eventually, done to death. An old chestnut that springs to mind is, "Oh, Mary, Don't You Weep." It was a song I never did, but to which I felt compelled to add a verse one evening, after a particularly lame performance by some preening wanna-be. To wit: "River Jordan's deep and wide,
                              Clean rest rooms on the other side..."

Oh, well; it worked that time...

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Joe_F
Date: 24 Sep 07 - 08:43 PM

I have seen a fiery gospel writ in burnished rows of steel:
As ye deal with My contemners, so with you My grace shall deal.
Let the Hero, born of woman, crush the serpent with his heel,
Since God is marching on.

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Don Firth
Date: 24 Sep 07 - 09:02 PM

Yes, indeed he did, TJ.

Prior to Walt's discovery of "The World's Shortest Folk Song," he would sometimes introduce the following as "The World's Shortest Love Song:"

My sweetheart's the mule in the mines;
I drive her without reins or lines.
On the bumper I sit
And I chew and I spit
All over my sweetheart's behind.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Pauline L
Date: 24 Sep 07 - 11:13 PM

Big Mick, thanks for posting all the lyrics to George Papavgeris's song. It's very powerful and very personal.

I have two alternate verses to the same song, and they're both about dying.

The sailors in their life belts were rescued from the sea
But the wicked captain perished with the Golden Vanity,
A giant wave came over and it swept him out to sea,
Now he's sinking in the lowlands, lowlands, lowlands,
Now he's sinking in the lowlands low.

and

And the boy bowed his head; down sank he,
And he said farewell to the Golden Vanity
As she lay along the lowland, lowland low
As she lay along the lowland sea.

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Pauline L
Date: 24 Sep 07 - 11:43 PM

Lizzie Borden took an ax
Gave her father forty whacks
When she saw what she had done
She gave her mother forty-one

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: GUEST,PeadarOfPortsmouth
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 01:29 PM

Great way to leave a lady the morning after...

"When will you return again, and when may we get married?" (2X)
"When broken shells make Christmas bells, we might then get married."

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: GUEST,Henryp
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 05:31 PM

But now you may stare as you like and there's nothing to scan;
And brushing your elbow unguessed-at and not to be told
They carry back bright to the coiner the mintage of man,
The lads that will die in their glory and never be old.

From A Shropshire Lad by A E Housman

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: terrier
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 08:00 PM

The Highwayman again...

Back, he spurred like a madman, shrieking a curse to the sky
With the white road smoking behind him, and his rapier brandished high!
Blood red were his spurs i' the golden noon; wine red was his velvet coat
When they shot him down on the highway
Down like a dog on the highway
And he lay in his blood on the highway, with a bunch of lace at his throat.

Alfred Noyes

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 25 Sep 07 - 10:17 PM

Undertaker came to get me
And my wife said through her tears
I wish you wouldn't haul him off
He ain't been this stiff in years.

(Dead Willy Blues, done by Mike Cross ... and possibly others)

John

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Mark H.
Date: 26 Sep 07 - 04:00 AM

He used to carry his guitar in a gunny sack
And sit beneath the tree by the railroad track
With the old engineer sittin' in the shade,
Groovin' to the rhythm that the driver made.
People passin' by used to stop and say,
"My my my my my, that Johnny boy can play!"

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: GUEST,Henryp
Date: 26 Sep 07 - 12:01 PM

Had we never lov'd sae kindly,
Had we never lov'd sae blindly,
Never met -- or never parted,
We had ne'er been broken-hearted.

Ae Fond Kiss from Robert Burns' final letter
to Agnes McLehose, written in December 1791

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: terrier
Date: 26 Sep 07 - 03:32 PM

Cold, cold now those ruby lips,I oft hae kissed sae fondly
and closed for ay' the sparkling glance that dwelt on me sae kindly
and mould'ring now in silent dust, the heart that lo'ed me dearly,
But still within my bosoms core will live my Highland Mary.

Robert Burns

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 26 Sep 07 - 07:19 PM

If it isn't in a song, it ought to be:

"If I'd shot you when I thought about it, I'd be out by now!"

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Amos
Date: 26 Sep 07 - 09:20 PM

"Well, the boss took the nickels off a dead man's eyes
Just to buy Coca-Colas and Eskimo Pies."


A

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: Amos
Date: 26 Sep 07 - 09:25 PM

And,

"Ain't it enough to break your heart?
Ya gotta work all day, and ight its dark..."

(Art Thieme, "Hard Times in the Mill")

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: GUEST,Fantum
Date: 27 Sep 07 - 07:45 AM

From a parody of El PASO

Blacker than night were the eyes of my Doris
Dark was her hair and her breasts were so white
So soft and warm and by heck they were big uns
A pale shade of white like wet tripe in moonlight

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: GUEST,Neil D
Date: 27 Sep 07 - 09:21 AM

Well its go boys go
They'll time your every breath
And every day your in this place
Your two days nearer death
Still you go...

From "The Chemical Workers Song" as performed by Great Big Sea

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: GUEST,Neil D
Date: 27 Sep 07 - 09:29 AM

"The Chemical Workers' Song" was written by Ron Angel

Subject: RE: Killer verses
From: llareggyb (inactive)
Date: 27 Sep 07 - 10:20 AM

While mistranslating some songs on another thread
Fun With Mangled Lyrics
I found a true killer last line to Carrickfergus (trust German to be right to-the-point):

"Come all you young men and put me down."

Presumably with one of those "humane killers" vets used on large animals? No doubt, many who've heard this song too often, would agree....