Lyr Add: Parody: Would You Like to Play the Guitar

Subject: Lyr Add: WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY THE GUITAR
From: PoppaGator
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 11:57 AM

Maybe some of you know this already. I checked to see if it's in the DT or forum, but no results came up ~ so hopefully this will be as new and as hilarious to you as it was to me when I first heard it last night, from one of my fellow guest singers at the wonderful annual Spencer Bohren Christmas Party and Revue.

Debbie Davis (who replaced Suzie Malone as a member of the Pfister Sisters, and is married to sousaphone/bass-fiddle virtuoso Matt Perrine, who shared the stage) introduced this number thusly:

"I got this in an email from Leigh Harris. She started out saying 'Go to the bathroom first before your read this.' I didn't take her seriously, started reading, and peed on my couch."

Written by Pat Donahue, the bandleader (or "musical director," or maybe just a band member) on Prairie Home Companion; sung to the tune of "Swingin' On A Star." Every single line of this thing is an absolute hoot; check it out


Would You Like to Play the Guitar?
(Pat Donahue)

CHORUS:
Would you like to play the guitar?
Carry money home in a jar
From a coffeehouse or a bar,
Or would you rather get a job?

A job is a thing that makes you get out of bed
And work every day until you're dead.
Your back is achin' and your brain is numb
And you just can't wait until the weekend comes
But if you don't want to starve or beg or rob
You're gonna have to get a job

Or would you like to play the guitar
Drive for miles and miles in your car
And pretend that you're a big star
Or would you rather book the gig?

An agent's a guy who takes his twenty percent
What he says ain't always what he meant.
He'll clean you out in ways you never thought
Because he's good at business and he knows you're not.
And then he'll sue if you ever make it big
'Cause he's the guy who booked the gig.

Or would you like to play the guitar
For a living -- har-dee-har-har.
I'll admit it's kind of bizarre
Or would you rather be the wife?

The wife is the one who has to rescue our butts
She's either a saint or else she's nuts.
She gets impatient and she gets annoyed
'Cause she's the one who must remain employed
And, by the way, if you want to wreck your life
Become a guitar player's wife.

'Cause all the monkeys ain't in the zoo.
They can be trained to play guitar too.
Some do a whole lot better than you
But even if you don't go far
You could be worse off than you are
...At least you're playing your guitar.

(Tune: Swinging On A Star)

Merry Christmas, y'all!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Parody: Would You Like to Play Guitar?
From: Wesley S
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 12:00 PM

Good one - thanks.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Parody: Would You Like to Play Guitar?
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 21 Dec 07 - 05:34 PM

See WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY THE GUITAR? (Pat Donohue) in the DT, and the threads called
Lyr Add: Would You Like to Play the Guitar?
The funniest song you have ever heard!
Garrison Keillor the bad singer who ..
Lyr Req: swing on a star parody

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Parody: Would You Like to Play Guitar?
From: PoppaGator
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 12:14 PM

Thanks for the wealth of back links, Jim!

I searched the DT but not the forum for these lyrics before posting this ~ my bad! (In hindsight, I can see that this type of lyric ~ a parody of a song that was itself never a traditional folksong to begin with ~ shouldn't have been expected to be found in the Digital Tradition, anyway.)

I'm not all that sorry about making the post, though ~ I'm sure at least a few folks got to see this for the first time, and it is certainly worthwhile.

One of my greatest idols, Dave Van Ronk, recorded "Swing on a Star." I'll try to find an MP3 or something (my vinyl album is long gone) and give it a listen, in hopes of some help/insight towards making up as good an acoustic-guitar arrangement as possible, and adding this to my songlist.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Parody: Would You Like to Play Guitar?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 12:30 PM

Well, it's the first time that I came across it, and now I have to learn the damn thing!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Parody: Would You Like to Play Guitar?
From: GUEST,Roger in Baltimore
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 01:40 PM

Mike Agranoff planned to include this song on a CD. He had the artwork ready to go and had titled the CD "Or Would You Rather Get a Job?" When he applied for the rights from the group that owned "Swing on a Star," they refused. So the song is not on the CD, but the title remains. The copyright owners seem pretty petty to me. I am pretty sure I heard Pat Donohue perform this on Prairie Home Companion.

Roger in Baltimore

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Parody: Would You Like to Play Guitar
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 02:03 PM

It's in the DT. I just searched on "play the guitar" and there it was.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Parody: Would You Like to Play Guitar?
From: PoppaGator
Date: 26 Dec 07 - 03:40 PM

Yeah, Dick, I noticed that this morning, too. But when I searched the other day, it did not turn up. Either I misspelled something, or maybe it was just added to the DT within the last day or two.

Thanks to Roger in Baltimore for summing up Mike Agranoff's sad experience with the copyright holder. What a story! More detail is available on Mike A's website if you care to search back through the links provided above by Jim Dixon, or just search on "Agranoff" and "rather get a job."

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Parody: Would You Like to Play Guitar?
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 27 Dec 07 - 08:03 AM

You can hear Pat Donahue himself sing WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY THE GUITAR as part of an archived Prairie Home Companion show from August 26, 2003. Click here and then click "Entire Show Part 1" and advance to 59 minutes from the beginning of the program.