Lyr Req: Early One Morning/Evening (parody)

Subject: Parody - Early one Morning
From: Betsy
Date: 27 Feb 08 - 06:52 PM

I've checked the DT Lyrics and it's not there, and I wonder if anyone knows a parody / version which deals with what a horrible place,with a horrible Landlord , that a country Pub can be shite beer , shite food , one armed bandit etc.etc.

Cheers Betsy

Subject: RE: Parody - Early one Morning
From: Folkiedave
Date: 27 Feb 08 - 07:05 PM

Nope, but I have been there!

Dave

Subject: RE: Parody - Early one Morning
From: stallion
Date: 27 Feb 08 - 07:06 PM

Arthur Marsden sings it, he is in the Shellbacks at the Mo, my mate Graham knows the words I will get them from him and post them to this thread
Peter

Subject: RE: Parody - Early one Morning
From: Dave Earl
Date: 27 Feb 08 - 07:18 PM

This is a song written by a mate of mine Miles Wootton.

Give I a few days and I may be able to come up with the words.

Other than that I know Arthur sings it or if you can contact Micca wot hangs around here I know he sang it at Sidmouth last weekend.

Dave

Ends with "we don't half get some funny customers in here"

Subject: RE: Parody - Early one Morning
From: Dave Roberts
Date: 27 Feb 08 - 07:33 PM

Cyril Tawney used to sing it and it's on a CD of Pub songs he recorded.
Oddly enough, I managed to memorize the whole thing after hearing it only a couple of times.
If, for any reason, you can't get hold of the words, I can supply them for you.

Subject: Lyr Add: PUBLIC BAR (Miles Wootton)
From: stallion
Date: 27 Feb 08 - 07:43 PM

Public Bar
(Miles Wootton)

Early one evening
Just as the pubs were opening
A traveler was walking down
A cold and windy street
He saw a door ajar
He stepped in a public bar
Said, "Landlord, I would like a drink
And something good to eat.

I fancy some crusty bread
And roast beef of old England
Some fresh butter from the churn
A pickled onion too
And if you think you could
Draw some bitter from the wood
I'd be quite content to quaff
A gentle pint or two

I'll sit down by your pine log fire
And ponder on the infinite
The quiet of your hostelry
Shall seep into my heart
And if a regular
Should come into the bar
Maybe I'll entice him in
A contest of the dart."

"Come in," says the landlord, "I've got
Pre-packed beef paste sandwiches
And instant frozen sausages
Which I purchase by the ton
So if you fancy it
I could defrost a bit
And serve it up with ketchup
On a supermarket bun

I'll pour you a plastic pot
Of quaint old English ready-brew
As advertised on telly
By a famous rugby scrum
No dirty wooden barrels here
We only keep hygienic beer
Safely sterilized inside
This aluminium drum

So sit down by the pine log fire
I'll switch the logs on presently
Maybe you would like to try
My brand new fruit machine
Three cherries in a row
Will set your heart aglow
My jukebox plays some rock and roll
That will really set the scene."

So the traveler sat down beside
The polystyrene inglenook
Plastic beads were swaying
To an electronic sound
He started to bite and chew
He took a sip of ready-brew
He gave a ghastly gurgle
And fell dead upon the ground

"O dear, " says the landlord
As he switched the color telly on
"Another fatal accident
The third this week, I fear
If they cannot hold their own
Why can't they stay at home
I must say that we get some funny
Customers in here"

copyright Miles Wootton

Subject: RE: Parody - Early one Morning
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 27 Feb 08 - 08:07 PM

There are enough songs in the DT to make title scanning a fruitless endeavour. Try looking for a phrase or odd word. It's in there, as "Public Bar".

Subject: RE: Parody - Early one Morning
From: Leadfingers
Date: 27 Feb 08 - 08:25 PM

And is available on CD from Miles ! I wont put his details in here , but a PM will get them from me !

Subject: RE: Parody - Early one Morning
From: Girl Friday
Date: 27 Feb 08 - 09:08 PM

This is a popular part of Wysywig's repertoirre. Brill song.

Subject: RE: Parody - Early one Morning
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Feb 08 - 04:00 AM

Thank you all so much especially Miles Wootton, and in particular Stallion for putting it in print.

I've just read it through (I'm at work at 8-ish in the morning.) and the pleasure it gave me was immense. Maybe I just like the ridiculous.

If anyone (as I do) despairs in trying to write the occasional song because of phrasing, and balancing the number of syllables in a line, then delight in reading (whilst humming the tune in your head) "The polystyrene inglenook".

Yet again Mudcat subscribers prove to be a font of knowledge! Cheers, Betsy

Subject: RE: Parody - Early one Morning
From: Micca
Date: 28 Feb 08 - 09:36 AM

Dave,It wasn't me that sung this at the Anchor, I dont remember who did, but twerent me!!, but a good job it was done of it.

Subject: Lyr Add: EARLY ONE EVENING (Miles Wootton)
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 28 Feb 08 - 02:15 PM

Slightly different words gleaned from the album "Out of Wedlock", the title of which kind of fortuitously relates to relations between Miles and the singer for a number of years. I think they have made up their differences now tho'.

EARLY ONE EVENING

Early one evening, just as the pubs were opening,
A traveller came walking down a cold and rainy street,
Noticed the door ajar,
Stepped into the public bar,
"Landlord, I would like a drink, and something nice to eat".

"I fancy some some crusty bread, and roast beef of old England,
Butter from the churn, and tangy home made pickles too,
And if you think you could,
Draw some bitter from the wood,
I'd be most content to quaff a foaming pint or two".

"I'll sit here by your open fire, and contemplate infinity,
The quiet of your hostelry shall creep into my heart,
And if a regular,
Should chance to step into the bar,
Mayhap I'll engage him in a contest with the dart".

"Come in", said the landlord, "I got prepacked fishpaste sandwiches,
And soya sausage substitute I purchase by the ton,
And should you fancy it,
I might defrost a bit,
And plaster it with ketchup, on a supermarket bun".

"I'll sling you a plastic pot of supersparkle Reddibru,
As advertised on telly, by a famous rugby scrum,
No filthy barrels 'ere,
We serves 'ygenic beer,
Safely paralysed inside these aluminium drums".

"Sit dahn by the fire squire, I'll switch the logs on right away,
Or maybe you'd prefer to play my latest fruit machine,
Free cherries in a row,
That should set yer 'eart aglow,
Or 'ow about me jukebox, that should really set the scene".

The traveller sat down beside the polystyrene inglenook,
The plastic beams vibrating to the electronic sound,
Took a bite, began to chew,
Sank his pint of Reddibru,
Gave a ghastly gurgle, and fell dead upon the ground.

"Oh dear", said the landlord, as he switched his colour telly on,
"Another fatal accident, the third this week, I fear,
If they can't 'old their own,
Why don't they stay at 'ome,
MY GAWD, YER DON'T 'ARF GET SOME FUNNY CUSTOMERS IN 'ERE".

Subject: RE: Parody - Early one Morning
From: Betsy
Date: 28 Feb 08 - 05:38 PM

If nowt else Don, you have corrected (I suppose) the plastic BEADS in Stallions version - which DID have me wondering !!!!!
At home now so not signed in as "Guest" as per previous message.

Cheers Betsy

Subject: RE: Parody - Early one Morning
From: GUEST,Suffolk Miracle
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 09:44 AM

There are some additional verses (wherein the bloke comes back to life and finds a better place) written by Ian McCulloch of Durham Folk Club

Subject: RE: Parody - Early one Morning
From: pavane
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 09:48 AM

I think I have got this in a published book somewhere, but it is at home in Wales, and I am in Luxembourg.

(Got a gig tonight, playing Welsh tunes for St Davids Day celeb)

Subject: RE: Parody - Early one Morning
From: Dave Earl
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 09:40 AM

Micca it must have been the drink.(How many barrel did we finish off?)

I now recall that it was Barry Gay from Bristol (or is it Bath) and famous at Sidmouth and Chippenham Festivals.

Dave

Subject: Lyr Add: EARLY ONE EVENING (Miles Wootton)
From: GUEST,Sharon
Date: 04 Sep 13 - 04:38 PM

I think this is what you are looking for??

EARLY ONE EVENING
(Miles Wootton)

Early one evening
Just as the pubs were opening
A traveller was walking down
A cold and windy street.
He saw a door ajar.
He stepped in a public bar,
Said, "Landlord, I would like a drink
And something good to eat.

"I fancy some crusty bread
And roast beef of old England,
Some fresh butter from the churn,
A pickled onion too,
And if you think you could,
Draw some bitter from the wood.
I'd be quite content to quaff
A gentle pint or two.

"I'll sit down by your pine log fire
And ponder on the infinite.
The quiet of your hostelry
Shall seep into my heart
And if a regular
Should come into the bar
Maybe I'll entice him in
A contest of the dart."

"Come in," says the landlord,
"I've got Pre-packed beef paste sandwiches
And instant frozen sausages
Which I purchase by the ton
So if you fancy it
I could defrost a bit
And serve it up with ketchup
On a supermarket bun.

"I'll pour you a plastic pot
Of quaint old English ready-brew
As advertised on telly
By a famous rugby scrum
No dirty wooden barrels here
We only keep hygienic beer
Safely sterilized inside
This aluminium drum.

"So sit down by the pine log fire
I'll switch the logs on presently
Maybe you would like to try
My brand new fruit machine
Three cherries in a row
Will set your heart aglow
My jukebox plays some rock and roll
That will really set the scene."

So the traveler sat down beside
The polystyrene inglenook
Plastic beads were swaying
To an electronic sound
He started to bite and chew
He took a sip of ready-brew
He gave a ghastly gurgle
And fell dead upon the ground.

"O dear," says the landlord
As he switched the color telly on
"Another fatal accident,
The third this week, I fear.
If they cannot hold their own
Why can't they stay at home?
I must say that we get some funny
Customers in here."

Cheers

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Early One Morning/Evening (parody)
From: Sir Roger de Beverley
Date: 05 Sep 13 - 12:01 PM

The book that this appeared in is "The English Folk Singer" by Sam Richards and Tish Stubbs - Collins 1979. They credit it to Miles Wootton, 1974.

R

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Early One Morning/Evening (parody)
From: Stringsinger
Date: 05 Sep 13 - 12:12 PM

My nit pick is that an identity and not a rhyme was used in the second line in the second stanza with the last line essentially rhyming "too" with "two. Because of this discrepancy,
it sticks out. Otherwise, a clever piece.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Early One Morning/Evening (parody)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 22 Aug 22 - 03:31 PM

Joe - do cleanup