Lyr Req: The Passenger's Always Right (Noel Coward

Subject: noel coward song
From: GUEST,Ian
Date: 24 May 08 - 07:48 PM

Does anyone have/know the lyrics to Noel Coward's "The Passenger's Always Right" from his 1961 musical "Sail Away"?

Subject: RE: noel coward song
From: Peace
Date: 24 May 08 - 07:57 PM

Ian,

Google

The Mermaid's Cowardy Custard: An Entertainment - Google Books Result (click)


You will find the lyrics there. I do not know how to cut and paste that kind of file.


I got there with a google of

"only when the bastard's out of sight"

in quotations, fyi.

Subject: RE: noel coward song
From: Mick Pearce (MCP)
Date: 24 May 08 - 08:02 PM

I do, but it's late and the song goes over three pages with many changes of singer. I'll post it tomorrow (ie later today UK, unless someone posts it before then).

Mick

Subject: RE: noel coward song
From: Mick Pearce (MCP)
Date: 24 May 08 - 08:03 PM

(Cross-post; maybe I won't need to post it after all!).

Mick

Subject: RE: noel coward song
From: GUEST,Ian
Date: 24 May 08 - 08:15 PM

I tried your suggestion Peace but I keep getting a sight that just reviews the show but no lyrics. Where am I going wrong?
Maybe Mick will help out with the lyrics.

Subject: RE: noel coward song
From: Art Thieme
Date: 24 May 08 - 10:35 PM

As I said before, "A noel coward = one who has a really bad fear of Christmas!"

Art ;-)

Subject: RE: noel coward song
From: Peace
Date: 25 May 08 - 01:24 AM

Ian:

If you google

"only when the bastard's out of sight"

you will be taken to a page that looks like this:

ETCETERA By John Simon on Broadway.com: Sail Away - Original ...and the purser's sarcastic instructions to the cabin boys, "The Passenger's Always Right" ("…nurse him/ Curse him/ Only when the bastard's out of sight. ...
www.broadway.com/Gen/Buzz_Story.aspx?ci=533000 - 48k - Cached - Similar pages

noel coward songYou will find the lyrics there. I do not know how to cut and paste that kind of file. I got there with a google of "only when the bastard's out of sight" ...
www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=111486&messages=6 - 1 hour ago - Similar pages

The Mermaid's Cowardy Custard: An Entertainment - Google Books Resultby Nöel Coward, Gerald Frow, Alan Strachan, Wendy Toye - 1977 - Biography & Autobiography - 96 pages
ONLY WHEN THE BASTARD'S OUT OF SIGHT. ALL. REMEMBER, BOYS, THE GODDAMNED PASSENGER'S ALWAYS RIGHT. (ARTIST U—who will sing Mad Dogs—has entered towards end ...
books.google.ca/books?isbn=0573680795...


Click on the third one (The Mermaid's Cowardy Custard) and that will take you to the lyrics. You will have to scroll up a bit but you'll get to the beginning. Please understand that it is a multi-part song in a play, so it doesn't LOOK like a 'normal' song lyric.

Subject: RE: Req: Noel Coward song: Passenger's Always Right
From: GUEST,Ian
Date: 25 May 08 - 03:37 AM

Thankyou Peace, but I'm going to have to let this go. My ETCETERA page by John Simon has no mention of Cowardy Custard etc - just his review of the play. No links to lyrics at all.

Subject: RE: Req: Noel Coward song: Passenger's Always Right
From: Mick Pearce (MCP)
Date: 25 May 08 - 08:24 AM

Here they are.

Mick

---

THE PASSENGER'S ALWAYS RIGHT
(Noel Coward)

Carrington:
The woman in cabin forty-nine has lost her diamond brooch.

Joe:
Calm her, Carrington,
Charm her, Carrington,
That's the correct approach.

Hoskins:
A gentleman on the Promenade Deck just called me a lazy slob.

Joe:
Smile at him, Hoskins,
Smile at him, Hoskins,
That is part of your job.

Steward:
The three fat children in B Deck 3
Have thrown their bathmat in the sea.

Shuttleworth:
The silly old broad in Main Deck 2
Has dropped her dentures down the loo.

Joe:
Passengers since the world began
Have been querulous, rude and snooty.
England expects that every man
This day should do his duty.

Weatherby?

Weatherby:
Here.

Joe:
Hoskins?

Hoskins:
Here.

Joe:
Green, Blake, Richardson?

Green, Blake, Richardson:
Here. Here. Here.

Joe:
Crawford?

Crawford:
Here.

Joe:
Shuttleworth?

Shuttleworth:
Here.

Joe:
Smith, Brown, Parkinson?

Smith, Brown, Parkinson:
Here. Here. Here.

Joe:
Where the devil are Bruce and Frome?

Hoskins:
One's got shingles and the other's gone home.

Joe:
Where's O'Reilly and Jock McBride?

Green, Blake, Richardson:
One got married, the other got fried.

Joe:
Carrington?

Carrington:
Here.

Joe:
Brewster?

Brewster:
Here.

Joe:
Where's young Fawcett and Windermere?

Weatherby:
Fawcett stayed at home in bed.

Stewards:
Poor old Windermere dropped down dead.

Joe:
In the course of each cruise
I always choose
To lecture each subordinate.
You're not damned fools
And you know the rules,
So see you all co-ordinate.

Stewards:
We've heard all this before.

Hoskins:
I can't stand any more.

Joe:
Bow, smile, charm, tact,
Never forget one vital fact:

The passenger's always right, my boys,
The passenger's always right.
Although he's a drip
He's paid for his trip,
So greet him with delight.
Agree to his suggestions.
However coarse or crude,
Reply to all his questions,
Ply him with drink - stuff him with food.
The passenger may be sober, boys,
The passenger may be tight,
The passenger may be foe or friend
Or absolutely round the bend,
But calm him,
Charm him,
Even though he's higher than a kite
The passenger's always right.

The passenger's always right, my boys,
The passenger's always right.
Those dreary old wrecks
Who litter the decks
Demand that you're polite.
Don't count on any free time,
Be kind to all the jerks,
And every day at teatime
Stuff 'em with cake...give 'em the works.
The passenger may be dull, my boys,
The passenger may be bright,
The passenger may be quite serene
Or gibbering with Benzedrine,
But nurse him,
Curse him
Only when the bastard's out of sight.
Remember, boys,
The goddamned passenger's always right.


Source: The Lyrics of Noel Coward from Sail Away

Subject: RE: Req: Noel Coward song: Passenger's Always Right
From: Peace
Date: 25 May 08 - 12:47 PM

Great, Mick. That should be a

LYRIC ADD

Subject: RE: Req: Noel Coward song: Passenger's Always Right
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 25 May 08 - 01:01 PM

Coward was a master satirist. Thanks for the words.

Subject: RE: Req: Noel Coward song: Passenger's Always Right
From: GUEST,Ian
Date: 25 May 08 - 05:55 PM

Thanks Mick