BS: Catty jokes

Subject: BS: Catty jokes
From: Mr Red
Date: 30 May 08 - 07:25 AM

Click for the 'PermaThread™: List of all joke threads'

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I saw a Leopard chatting-up a Cheatah
He was trying to pull a fast one.

AND...........

If a cold caller doorsteps you, offering a catflap is he:
a door to door, daughter door salesman?

Subject: RE: BS: Catty jokes
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 30 May 08 - 10:34 AM

Mr Red - I think it's time to up the medication again...

Although I did spot, in Robert Dyas today, a pet deterrant clearly and hugely marked with 'Pussy Repeller'.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Catty jokes
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 30 May 08 - 10:46 AM

Dogs have owners - Cats have staff

A dog will come when he's called - A cat will take a message and get back to you

Subject: RE: BS: Catty jokes
From: Grab
Date: 30 May 08 - 10:48 AM

The old favourite tasteless jokes.

Q: How do you make a dog sound like a cat?
A: Deep-freeze it, then put it through a bandsaw. MEEEEOOOOOWWWW...

Q: How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
A: Jerrycan full of petrol and a match. WOOFFF...

Subject: RE: BS: Catty jokes
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 30 May 08 - 10:50 AM

Oh dear, that means we must be getting near Frisbee territory...

Subject: RE: BS: Catty jokes
From: Ernest
Date: 30 May 08 - 12:41 PM

..these are so old they must have been dinosaur jokes originally...

Subject: RE: BS: Catty jokes
From: Joe_F
Date: 30 May 08 - 08:41 PM

The difference between cats & people is that cats know what people are for.

Subject: RE: BS: Catty jokes
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 May 08 - 09:01 PM

Cats are nearly perfect pets. Their only imperfection is that there aren't enough recipes for them.

Subject: RE: BS: Catty jokes
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 31 May 08 - 01:44 AM

The other day I saw a dog chasing a cat, it was so hot they were both walking.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Catty jokes
From: Mr Red
Date: 31 May 08 - 02:29 AM

Lts

The Mudcat IS my medication.

Subject: RE: BS: Catty jokes
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 31 May 08 - 02:30 AM

Are cats happier in 'mews' houses?
My cat was really thick..it did a poo in the garden and buried itself!



Just a thought..seriously...why are there so few jokes about cats?

Subject: RE: BS: Catty jokes
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 31 May 08 - 02:42 AM

Centuries ago, cats were worshipped as deities. They have never forgotten this.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Catty jokes
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 31 May 08 - 03:33 AM

Not a joke, but there is humour, & some of you might like it, especially those who remember Scullion's original...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOqiqBWAqcs

Subject: RE: BS: Catty jokes
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 31 May 08 - 03:35 AM

Centuries ago, cats were worshipped as deities. They have never forgotten this.

But did you know the Ancient Egyptians, to whom the cat was especially sacred, had no word for purr...

Subject: RE: BS: Catty jokes
From: Joe_F
Date: 31 May 08 - 08:27 PM

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/DanEgglestonList/message/1343

Subject: RE: BS: Catty jokes
From: frogprince
Date: 31 May 08 - 08:34 PM

"a pet deterrant clearly and hugely marked with 'Pussy Repeller'."                        LTS

Liz, Maybe you could spray it on your tits to keep them safe...

Subject: RE: BS: Catty jokes
From: GUEST,caitlín
Date: 01 Jun 08 - 03:50 AM

Fun list Joe F, thanks. Just joined (for all those hours of spare time I don't know what to do with...)

I send out various jokes and/or items of interest (trivia, etc.) on a daily basis, generally about two items a day... I also sometimes forward various columns of interest. Dan Eggleston (Austin TX)

Subject: RE: BS: Catty jokes
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 01 Jun 08 - 05:24 AM

It's not me that needs the pussy repeller....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Catty jokes
From: frogprince
Date: 01 Jun 08 - 06:49 PM

I know that, Liz; I just thought it might save those poor little titty birds from a horrible fate.

Subject: RE: BS: Catty jokes
From: GUEST,LTS pretending to work
Date: 02 Jun 08 - 05:11 AM

The blackbird that Raven kitty caught and brought in last December, has built its new nest not 15ft from the kitchen door through which it was dragged in the jaws of the cat. How silly is that bird?!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Catty jokes
From: SINSULL
Date: 02 Jun 08 - 08:35 AM

Freddie the cat had a tiny little bird this morning - no feathers. i think the sparrow is back in the holly bush. She never learns.

Subject: RE: BS: Catty jokes
From: Ebbie
Date: 02 Jun 08 - 02:00 PM

No joke here but I'm pleased with my kitty.

He is 15 years old and since we moved into an upper-floor apartment he really misses his occasional foray outdoors in my back yard. He is a wise cat, one of those who comes when he is called, and one who understands No and OK. Neat cat.

Yesterday I borrowed a cat leash from a friend and put it on him. He took scarce notice of it so an hour later I put him in a carrier and took him to the hillside behind the apartment building. I stayed with him for an hour while he prowled and climbed and sniffed around and chewed the occasional grass blade. My dog stayd with him, seeming charmed at his interest in the world.

Eventually I put him back in the carrier - under protest - and brought him home. Tonight I'll take him out again. Maybe I'll tuck him under my arm so that he doesn't associate the carrier with his loss of freedom.

Subject: RE: BS: Catty jokes
From: katlaughing
Date: 02 Jun 08 - 02:43 PM

Ebbie, I did that with seven cats. Walked them all on leashes, then eventually got to where I could open the front door, let them out onto the steps and little patch of grass. They would all stay there where the dog and I watched over them. When I clapped my hands and said, "Inside" in they would go. It was quite the sight. I have pix of them lounging on the steps. If I can find them I will post a link.

Subject: RE: BS: Catty jokes
From: Irene M
Date: 02 Jun 08 - 02:59 PM

I only ever tried to get a lead on one cat. As we needed to move Fanny 500 miles by overnight sleeper train, we thought a lead would help stop her from bolting ( I had seen Ring of Bright Water!).
Problem was, when you attached the lead, her legs telescoped, and you had a cat with no legs being taken draggies. Take the lead off, and the legs re-grew. Magic!
Nearly lost her under a bench seat in the ladies loo on Bristol Temple Meads station, but she made the journey OK, in the sleeping compartment, swapping between bunks and shouting (she was part Siamese) every time we were pulling into a station. God knows what the occupants of the next compartment thought they were hearing.
Having had this complete nightmare night with no sleep, we got her into a compartment on the Oban train and she sprawled on the seat quite happy for the 3.5 hour journey.

Subject: RE: BS: Catty jokes
From: Mr Happy
Date: 03 Jun 08 - 06:59 AM

Funny you should mention cats on leashes.

'Er indoors over a period of years has felines of various ages accompany us on camping trips to folk fests etc all over & its been necessary to put 'em on harness & lead.

So comical to watch their reaction, crawling along the ground like furry snakes!!

Subject: RE: BS: Catty jokes
From: Naemanson
Date: 03 Jun 08 - 08:41 PM

Our cats here in Talofofo seem to think they are in heaven. There is no street to endanger them, no wild animals to eat them, lots of lizards to hunt and murder, and their goddess to take care of them. When she is not available they have me as the emergency backup god to work for them.