The Nice But Dim Knight

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: Surreysinger
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 02:39 PM

Well that sort of cuts it down to basics I suppose Dick !

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 11:55 AM

'Twas Friday night when we set sail
And we sank to the bottom of the sea.

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: Phil Edwards
Date: 04 Sep 10 - 07:05 PM

"And here is the ring that was broken between us,
In the midst of all danger to remind me of you."
And when she saw this token, she fell into my arms crying,
You what? What the hell do you think you're playing at? I thought you were dead! If that's your idea of a homecoming you can bugger off back to Waterloo...

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: Surreysinger
Date: 04 Sep 10 - 11:25 AM

May I reiterate what I said on 15 Jan melords and ladies - glad to see this thread resurrected ... even if it was initiated by a financial troll! Nice one Ralphie.

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: GUEST,Ralphie
Date: 04 Sep 10 - 09:08 AM

CLAUDY BANKS COPPER FAMILY (Last Verse)

Young Johnny hearing her say so
He could no longer stand
He fell into her arms crying
Betsy I'm that man
I am that handsome young man
And whom you thought was slain
But since we met in Barclays Bank
We'll never part again

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: Surreysinger
Date: 15 Jan 10 - 08:51 PM

Gosh - glad to see this thread resurrected!!!

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: Tootler
Date: 15 Jan 10 - 07:06 PM

Twa Recruiting Sergeants cam' frae the black watch
In markets and fairs some recruits for tae catch
And a' that they listed was none at a'
....
O sod this recruiting lark. I'm going home!


On Raglan Road on an autumn day
He saw her first and knew
With her long dark hair he'd get nowhere
So he went down the pub instead.

Subject: The Nice But Dim Jacobite
From: Phil Edwards
Date: 26 Oct 08 - 06:02 PM

An uncollected variant of Lord Derwentwater:

'A traitor! a traitor! a traitor!' he cried,
'A traitor! how can that be,
Unless it's for keeping five hundred men
For to fight for King Jamie?
On second thoughts, yes, I suppose that would do it. Never mind.'

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: GUEST,Ralphie
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 01:05 AM

NO LONGER RELEVANT Dept.

Hal-An-Tow, Jolly Rumbelow.

(Went into liquidation some years ago, I'm led to believe)

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: GUEST,Ralphie
Date: 15 Aug 08 - 02:18 AM

POOR MARY IN THE SILVERY TIDE (John Searle Sussex 1901)

It's of a fair young maiden, who dwelt on the seaside
With lovely form and features, she was called the village pride
There was a young sea captain, young Marys heart did gain
And true she was to Henry, although he was a pain.

It was in Henrys absence, that, a nobleman there came
A-Courting pretty Mary, but, she refused the same
Your vows are vain, for on the main, there's one I love, she cried
So, sling your hook, young nobleman, you cannot have a ride.

The nobleman was walking, all alone to take the air
Down by the rolling ocean, he met the lady fair
Then said this artful villain, Come walk with me my dear
And forget about young Henry, for he's a bit of a queer

With trembling hips said Mary, Oh my vows I ne'er can break
If Henry bats for the other side, that does no difference make
With his handkerchief he bound her arms, and plunged her o'er the side
And shrieking she went floating, all along the silvery tide

The nobleman was taken, and the gallows was his doom
For ending pretty Marys life, who scarced attained her bloom
Young Henry so dejected, down to a club he went
And met a pretty sailor boy, who lived in Dartford, Kent.

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: GUEST,Ralphie
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 04:04 AM

Hi Barbara

A perfect example of the Folk process then!!
Still a very funny line.

Regards Ralphie

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: Barbara
Date: 08 Aug 08 - 11:59 PM

That hobo song of Ralphies? I know it because my 90 year old mother used to sing it to us as kids, but she sang the last lines: "'I'm going to a better place, I'll catch it on the fly,' His comrade stole his hat and boots and left him there to die."
Blessings,
Barbara

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: GUEST,Ralphie
Date: 08 Aug 08 - 09:53 PM

THE BANKS OF CLAUDIE (Anna Copley, Shoals, Wayne County, 1915)

As I walked out one evening, all in the month of May
Down by the flowery garden, where Betsey she did stray
I overheard this damsel, in sorrow to complain
I've not received my GIRO, the postmans late again.

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: Paul Burke
Date: 06 Aug 08 - 06:00 AM

Classic!

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: GUEST,Ralphie
Date: 06 Aug 08 - 04:19 AM

THE GYPSY'S WARNING (Mr C R Bishop, Pocahontas County 1918)

Do not trust him gentle lady
Though his voice be low and sweet
Heed him not who kneels before thee
Gently pleading at thy feet
Now thy life is in its morning
Cloud not this thy happy lot
Listen to the gypsy's warning
He's my husband, trust him not.

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: Surreysinger
Date: 30 Jul 08 - 09:36 AM

Merci beaucoups pour l'information .. dis-je en Francais fractured ...

What did Swindon ever do to you??? Should it not be Slough ....
"Come friendly bombs and drop on Slough
It isn't fit for humans now"
(as per the erstwhile Poet Laureate, John Betjeman ...."
Mangle the vowel a bit and it might almost rhyme...

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: GUEST,Ralphie
Date: 30 Jul 08 - 07:11 AM

AN ARKANSAW TRAVELLER Miss Sallie Evans, Elkins, Randolph County

My name is Bill Stafford, I came from Buffalo town
I've travelled this world all over, I've travelled this wide world round.
I've had my ups and downs in life, but, better days I've saw
I never knew what misery was, til I came to Arkansaw

(In the UK that would be Swindon....but it doesn't rhyme)

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: GUEST,Ralphie
Date: 30 Jul 08 - 07:06 AM

Ah Irene....Found it...

Folk Songs Of The South
John Harrington Cox
(Of the West Virginia Folklore society)
Published by Dover Press in 1967

THE VANCE SONG (snippet) Rev A M Lunsford 1897

But Vance no more shall Sandy behold
Nor smell it's sweet perfume
This day his eyes are closed in death
His body confined in the tomb

Farewell my friends, my children dear
To you I bid farewell
The love I have for your precious souls
No mortal tongue can tell

Farewell to you, my loving wife
To you I bid adieu
And, If I reach fair Canaans shore
I hope you've made the stew.

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 29 Jul 08 - 07:28 AM

Aye, an' anither thing, Ma - if ye think Ah'll gang tae the Hielan's wi' yon clown frae the burger place, Ronald McDonald, ye can think again !

(Do I get a skelp, Megan :-) ?)

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 06:21 AM

When a knight won the lottery in a story quite new
He was mean and so selfish, and lacked ethics too
With his cheque book in pocket and Visa in hand
For Mammon and greed he strode through Wood Green Shopping City.

No BMW have I and no gold credit card
Yet with Oxfam and Freecycle I find life not hard
Though faced with the credit crunch, freespenders have fled
And the knights are all broke and the dragons . . . (wot's dragons got to do with it?)

Let a small bank buffer zone be my shield
And let . . . (oh no, not horses again)
And let me set free (with a .22 if necessary) from the castle in the dark
All that want to be, just for a lark.

Note for all you pedants out there:

Tune: Stowey (except when nicked by some for Sweet England)
Words: after Jan Struther.

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: GUEST,Ralphie
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 01:39 AM

Songs From The South.

Haven't got it to hand at the moment.
Details to Follow

R

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: Leadfingers
Date: 27 Jul 08 - 06:39 PM

And Thomas D'Urfey predated Hobos and trains by SEVERAL years

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: Leadfingers
Date: 27 Jul 08 - 06:32 PM

200

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: Michael
Date: 27 Jul 08 - 01:58 PM

At a guess; "Pills to Purge Melancholy"

Well it certainly did somthing to mine!

Mike

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: Surreysinger
Date: 27 Jul 08 - 01:20 PM

What's the name of the book ?

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: GUEST,Ralphie
Date: 27 Jul 08 - 10:33 AM

Yep....True enough....
I've got the book to prove it!
R x

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: Surreysinger
Date: 27 Jul 08 - 08:10 AM

You sure you didn't change that last line Ralphie ?? As you say, too good if true!!

Subject: Lyr Add: THE DYING HOBO (E. C. Smith, 1915)
From: GUEST,Ralphie
Date: 27 Jul 08 - 12:22 AM

THE DYING HOBO (Mr E.C. Smith, Weston, Lewis County, 1915)

(I was going to muck about with this, but the original is too good!)

Behind a western water tank, a dying hobo lay
Inside an empty box car, one cold November day
His comrade sat beside him, with a low and drooping head
Listening to the final words, this dying hobo said.

I am going to a better land, where everything is bright
Where handouts grow on bushes, and you can sleep out every night
Tell my sweetheart back in Denver, no more her face I'll view
For I have caught the fast train, and now I'm going through

Tell her not to weep for me, no tears in her eyes must lurk
For I have gone to a distant land, where men don't have to work
Don't have to work at all my friend, not even change their socks
Where little streams of alcohol, come tingling down the rocks

Hark! I hear the whistling, I must catch her on the fly
Just one more drink of the nine five booze,It's not so hard to die
His voice grew weak, His head fell back, He's sung his last refrain
His partner swiped his coat and hat, and caught the eastbound train!

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 03:50 PM

Bottle of wine, fruit of the vine
When ya gonna let me get sober?
See your AA, there's a 12 Step Program for you.

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: DMcG
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 09:42 AM

Someone at a club I went to in the seventies used to sing:

What more perversion can a man desire
Than to beat his wife with a Dunlop tyre
.......
Aye, and on the table, a monkey wrench.


That third line escapes me. Probably just as well.

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 09:30 AM

What more perversion could a man desire
Than to beaten be with electric wire ?
Upon his XXXX some dirty wench
Aye, and on the table a jug of punch.

Toora loora loo . . .

Brown Adam came back to the bower
And a little thereby stood he
To hear some poxy full false knight
Hear this from his lady gay :

You're OK for a quickie, lad - Brown Adam's off hunting venison. At least, that's what he said he was doing . . .

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 08:17 AM

I have a sister, Sir Clifford said
A sister no man knows

and his sister thought, that's what YOU think, bro !

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 08:16 AM

Out of his knapsack he drew a fine fiddle

And she said Christ almighty, I thought I was here for a good f*ck and all you can do is think about music !

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: Sky Sailor
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 02:33 AM

They gave him his orders in Monoe, Virginia....

Have them brakes seen to!

(Couldn't resist)

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: Paul Burke
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 08:18 AM

She dressed up in man's apparel,
Man's apparel she put on,
And she followed her true lover,
For to find him she is gone.

She rose early the very next morning,
She rose up at the break of day,
There she saw her true love William,
Walking with a lady gay.

She took a look at William Taylor,
And at the lady by his side,
Decided which one she preferred
And took the girl home for her bride.

----

My mother did me deadly spite
For she sent thieves in the dark of night
Put my servants all to flight
They kicked the cat and pinched my bike...

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: GUEST,Ralphie
Date: 23 Jul 08 - 07:25 AM

PAT REILLY

It being on a monday morning,it being our pay day
We met Seargent Jenkins, at our going away
He says to Pat Reilly, you are a handsome young man
Will you come to John Kellys?.......Your imagination takes over at this point.

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: Joe_F
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 08:42 PM

...

Matty Groves was a manly man, with balls to split his pants, sirs,
When caught in bed with Arlen's wife, he gave him snappy answers.

...

Now where was Arlen's wife through this? She stayed beneath the covers,
And watched the fight, and did her nails, while Arlen killed her lover.

She never thought to run and hide, nor did she make excuses,
She said the one thing guaranteed to make Arlen blow his fuses.

So she got herself and Matty killed by being a stupid hen --
But what else but a brainless slut would go for Manly Men?

-- Leslie Fish, "Manly Man Matty Groves"

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: Surreysinger
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 07:05 AM

Gives a whole new overtone to the piece...

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: GUEST,Ralphie
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 06:57 AM

THE CREGGAN WHITE HAIR??

Well, she was getting on a bit, but still very sexy!

Sorry for the typo

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: Surreysinger
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 06:09 AM

Blimey .. that white animal with long floppy ears has rematerialised again... so that's what happened to it!!

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: GUEST,Ralphie
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 05:38 AM

THE CREGGAN WHITE HAIR

In the lowlands of Creggan there lives a white hare
As swift as the swallow that flies through the air
You may tramp the world over but none can compare
With the curry that's made from the Bonny White Hare

(PS, a nice lime pickle and an onion bhaji is a nice accompaniment)

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: GUEST,Ralphie
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 05:20 AM

EDWARD CONNORS

Come all you loyal Irishmen, and listen for a while
All that wish to emigrate, and leave the emerald isle
A kind advice I will give you, which you must bear in mind
Don't forget your toothbrush, when you leave your land behind

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: Splott Man
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 03:38 AM

Show me a home where the buffalo roam
And I'll show you a house full of s***

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: Gurney
Date: 22 Jul 08 - 12:16 AM

I remember that one from my childhood, Rapaire, but we finished with 'Where seldom is heard a discouraging word,
'cos the wife is out working all day!'

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jul 08 - 09:11 AM

Oh give me a home where the buffalo roam
And the skies are not cloudy all day,
Where seldom is heard an encouraging word
And farms are foreclosed every day.

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: A Wandering Minstrel
Date: 21 Jul 08 - 07:59 AM

What are the bugles blowing for?
said Files_on_Parade
B******d if I know
The Colour-Sargeant said...

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: Splott Man
Date: 21 Jul 08 - 07:18 AM

Hello darkness my old friend,
I've stubbed my bloody toe again!

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: GUEST,Ralphie
Date: 21 Jul 08 - 06:53 AM

THE SIX SWEETHEARTS (Irish)

I've had a grand experience, I'm going to tell you now
By courting six girls all at once, they served me anyhow
My mother said "You're wicked", I laughed at her advice
She said I was naughty, but, I was very nice

So I fell in love with Mary Anne, and then with Mary Jane
And then with pretty Miss McCann, and then with Kate McClean
And then with Betty Hopsican, and then with Nellie Small
There were plenty of others, but, by this stage, I was knackered.

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: fat B****rd
Date: 19 Jul 08 - 02:51 PM

"Me coat and boots is all in pawn"
And I'm bloody freezin'

Subject: RE: The Nice But Dim Knight
From: GUEST,Ralphie
Date: 19 Jul 08 - 07:32 AM

TIME TO REMEMBER THE POOR (Mr Lolly again!)

Cold Winter is come with it's cold chilling breath
And, the leaves are all gone from the trees
And, all seems touched by the finger of death
And, the streams are beginning to freeze
When the Young Wanton lads o'er the river do slide
When Flora attends us no more
When in plenty you're sitting by a warm fireside
It's time to crack open another can of Tennants Extra