Songs about golf

Subject: Songs about golf
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 12:20 PM

Though I am not guilthy of golf myself, our region is something of a mecca for golfers. There must be some musical tributes to golf out there. I'm certain the Scots have their share. There are, of course, numerous jokes and stories about the game, but I've heard no songs. To start this thread, I hereby contribute my own composition, to the tune of "The Merry, Merry Month of May," or whatever that song is:

He was putting on the links one day,
In the merry, merry month of May,
When an errant little sphere,
Caught him right behind the ear,
Who the culprit was, we cannot really say.

But, the three of us continued on,
Dragging Charlie on the cold, cold ground,
As we went from green to green,
Down the fairways; what a scene,
As we finished up this most exhausting round.

Play concluded, we refreshed our souls,
Celebrating at the nineteenth hole,
Charlie propped up in his seat,
Stiffly grinning in defeat,
As he seemed to take it nicely, on the whole.

While the three of us continue play,
We remember Charlie every day,
We salute him, one and all,
With his funereal pall,
And his handicap preserved in every way.

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: Terry McDonald
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 01:07 PM

Straight Down the Middle - Bing Crosby. Never liked it!

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 01:10 PM

Would that be the Persian Golf or the car.
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: GUEST,puck
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 01:16 PM

Hate it! Hate golf.... and golfers.....boring!!!

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 01:27 PM

I will confess that I am no fan of golf. I do not watch it on television or follow it in any way. I can count the number of times I have played it on the fingers of 1 1/2 hands. Mark Twain referred to it as "a good walk, spoiled." My favorite definition is: "An ineffectual endeavor to place an insignificant pellet into an obscure hole, using totally inadequate weapons." Having said all that, I'm constantly exposed to golf and golfers, so was really searching for some musical lampoons of the game and its gratuitously steadfast adherents.

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 01:32 PM

What's the song with 'The dirty little pill rolled down the hill and landed in a bunker'? Tune of 'The girl I left behind me'.

DeG

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: Bainbo
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 02:03 PM

Dave - that's Donald The Dub, by Frank Crumit - also known for The Song Of The Prune and Abdul Abulbul Emir. I couldn't find a recording of Crumit singing it, only this version.

Crumit did another golf song, too. I think it was called And Then He Took Up Golf. I've got to say, though, I'm with the other posters here - don't see the point of golf, don't see the point of golfers, don't see the point of these songs. I agree with whoever it was - Mark Twain, possibly? - who said golf was "a good walk spoiled."

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: GUEST,kenny
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 03:12 PM

Loudon Wainwright III had one. He sang it when he was a guest on a Scottish TV programme by the "Corries", to a very confused audience !!!

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 03:14 PM

And I'll bet Loud was laughing himself silly between verses. He has a great deal of fun being obtuse.

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: GUEST,Bill
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 10:35 PM

Big (N)Ellie May has already been posted on mudcat. Featuring two (or three) of my favorite things, golf and big tits it is here

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: GUEST,Gerry
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 11:05 PM

If the title's anything to go by, this one should be about an aspect of golf.

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: Acorn4
Date: 08 Nov 08 - 04:24 AM

I know someone who's done a good parody on Richard Thompson's "Down where the Drunkards Roll" along the lines of "Down at the Eighteenth Hole" - I'll probably see him on Monday so will they to get the lyrics up.

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: theleveller
Date: 08 Nov 08 - 10:27 AM

If golf is a good walk spoilt, surely a golf song would be a good tune spoilt.

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: GUEST,Ed
Date: 08 Nov 08 - 11:07 AM

Well, there's Caravan's Golf Girl.

Apologies for the quality

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: GUEST,John from Elsie`s Band
Date: 08 Nov 08 - 11:10 AM

Oh Bainbo,
          You are speaking of the game I love!! There must be other members of this erudite group of people, namely singers of folk songs and all who delight in the fascinating challenge of golf, of you against the course, equipment and elements. To read the adverse comments upon this wonderfully frustrating pastime would make "Auld Tom Morris" turn in his Scottish grave.
          Frank Crummit, also an enthusiastic golfer, wrote a number of songs on the game, considered the best was the as aforementioned "Donald the Dub", sung to the tune often called, " The Girl I Left Behind Me". I have a recording of him doing that song but he does not include the last two lines heard on the version to which you bring our attention.
          Lowden Wainwright III has indeed written an excellent song on the game which, in truth, is a satire aimed at those who play it and it is worthy of performing. We include this in our repertoire of solo numbers with extra verses adde, written in the same vein. I believe he may call it something like "Golfing Blues". One can understand the consternation felt when he performed it to a Scottish audience.
            And now, Bainbow, I must get myself to the 19th hole for a stiff malt and settle my nerves!!

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 08 Nov 08 - 11:21 AM

That well known shanty The Golf of Mexico?

Or The Green, green grass of home?

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: Gorgeous Gary
Date: 08 Nov 08 - 11:40 AM

Sue Trainor wrote a "Golfing With Hares" parody of "Waltzing With Hares"(Album and sound clip here).

-- Gary

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 08 Nov 08 - 11:50 AM

Fairway to Heaven

Subject: RE: Songs about golfers and other stroke victims
From: Severn
Date: 09 Nov 08 - 12:36 AM

Then there's the late Al Grierson's "Sunday Way Up Yonder" in which a celestial round of golf is played by God Himself.

To be found on his CD "Things That Never Added Up To Me" (Folkin' Eh! 0001 and later reissued on Folk Era. Probably both out of print, but worth the search)


SUNDAY WAY UP YONDER
(Tune: "Georgie On The FFV")


It was Sunday way up yonder
It was on the seventh hole
The Good Lord missed a birdie putt
And lost His self-control
The caddy lost his self esteem
But the clubhouse got the ball
When a twenty acre divot
Came tearing through the wall.

It rumbled through the kitchen
Like an epileptic whale.
It blew the needle off the top
Of Mr. Richter's Scale.
It broke the mirror on the bar
And busted all the stools
It even broke a little wind,
But never broke the rules.

It squeezed them like the vintage
Where the grapes of wrath are stored
'Cause they interfaced like insects
With the windshield Of The Lord
It treated all it came upon
With equal disrespect
It was fully liberated
And politicaly correct.

It scandalized the universe
It vandalized the stars
It wiped the face of Elvis
Off the other side of Mars
Then came back to the fingers
Of the Good Lord's waiting hand
Like a twenty acre yo-yo
On a cosmic rubber band

They knew that the insurance man
Was never going to pay
For Acts Of God or flying sod
Or random clods of clay
So they prayed with all their might
The Lord would save their souls
And take a smaller divot
When he played the other holes

A-A-Amen!

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 09 Nov 08 - 03:03 AM

I hate golf.

eric

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: Fidjit
Date: 09 Nov 08 - 10:22 AM

There's the on from the film, "Tin Cup". "Double Bogey Blues" Which is quite good.

Chas

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: Fidjit
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 07:08 AM

Eric. I love it.
My handicap is 14.

Can't you just see me dancing down the fairways?
Stripping the willows as I go.
Chas

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: domo
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 10:14 AM

Percy French wrote one called "No more of yer golfin' for me"

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 01:58 PM

Finally, in summation, I offer my favorite definition of golf: "An ineffectual endeavor to place an insignificant pellet into an obscure hole, using totally inadequate weapons."

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: Fidjit
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 02:55 PM

Robin Williams explains golf

rather well think.

Chas

Subject: Songs about golf: Swearin' On The Green
From: Genie
Date: 14 Nov 08 - 03:32 PM

Swearin' On The Green

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 15 Nov 08 - 05:31 AM

Stripping the widow would be more like it Fidgit.

eric

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: Fidjit
Date: 15 Nov 08 - 04:01 PM

Eric
do you know any?

Chas

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: GUEST,Nick E
Date: 15 Nov 08 - 06:19 PM

I hate golf as well, I play it whenever I can. Without a doubt the hardest game I have ever played to reach a level of play that I felt I could. But the places where golf is played are almost without exception beautiful, and the satisfaction of the one good swing, the imagination it takes to see what a ball will do on the putting surface, just nothing else like it!I love it, I hate it, I love it, I hate it, I love it....etc

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: RTim
Date: 15 Nov 08 - 07:52 PM

I am another singer who loves to play golf - and when I am in the mood, ie. when the sun is on my back! - I play at least 4 days a week!! Tim Radford - (having just posted this to the Parting Glass Thread by mistake!!)

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: Scabby Douglas
Date: 15 Nov 08 - 08:51 PM

Well, Rtim, in a weird bit of synchronicity or something, it may amuse you to know that I scrabbled together some lines for a song about golf, a few years ago, and loosely fitted them to the tune "The Parting Glass".

Here it is:

The tune I had in mind was "The Parting Glass"


Safe Golf


The Bible does not mention golf.
not even in the Commandments Ten,
With never a blush you can talk of clubs
and swinging with women and with men*
If your partner wants to film your moves,
you can rest quite easy and conscience free
So I hope you see why I say to you,
that golf's much safer than sex can be.

You can play by yourself for hours on end,
and be sure that blind you'll never go
And It's quite alright to play a round,
with someone you don't really know
The golfing pro will seldom prove
an underco-v-er cop to be
So I hope you see why I say to you,
that golf's much safer than sex can be.

If your partner loses interest -
that's no reason you should do so too
I never heard, when playing golf,
of diseases that could transmit to you,
And if you had golf..... "Just. Last. Week!"
- to play again, they'll happy be.
So I hope you see why I say to you,
that golf's much safer than sex can be.

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 16 Nov 08 - 12:40 AM

Thanks for the songs! They're fun.

I will never be a golfer, but I enjoy reading about it.

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 16 Nov 08 - 12:43 AM

Here's a good book about golf:

The Greatest Game Ever Played: Harry Vardon, Francis Ouimet, and the Birth of Modern Golf

I liked that book so much, I bought a copy and gave it to my father-in-law for Christmas.

At the other end of the scale, there are the golf stories of P.G. Wodehouse. He was such a stylist.

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: Genie
Date: 20 Nov 08 - 06:42 PM

Here's another verse to the "Wearin' O' The Green" golf parody

Swearin' On the Green.

Genie

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: GUEST,JOHN DALY
Date: 21 Nov 08 - 03:45 PM

THERE IS A SOURCE FOR ORIGINAL GOLF SONGS OUT THERE THAT COME STRAIGHT OUT OF MY HOME STATE OF ARKANSAS, THAT I'M SURE YOU WILL LOVE. VERY DIFFERENT AND DEFINITELY FUNNY. YOU CAN FIND THEM AT www.songsaboutgolf.com. Enjoy!

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: GUEST,JOHN DALY
Date: 09 Dec 08 - 05:19 PM

HI GUYS,

IF YOU REALLY WANT TO GET YOUR HANDS ON A FUNNY, WELL DONE, ORIGINAL GOLF CD, CHECK OUT www.songsaboutgolf.com. I THINK NICK'S PERSPECTIVE WILL GO DOWN IN HISTORY AS ONE OF THE BEST COLLECTOR'S ITEM GOLF CD'S EVER MADE.

KEEP IT IN THE FAIRWAY,

JOHN

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: Cool Beans
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 04:11 PM

There's was a whole off-Broadway show called Golf: The Musical. There's a CD of it.


http://www.amazon.com/Golf-Musical-Original-Cast/dp/B0006TIDKY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1228943296&sr=1-1

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: GUEST,Mike B.
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 04:15 PM

I know I heard a song that mentioned Tiger Woods at the Herndon (Virginia) Folk Festival about ten years ago - the singer may have been Greg Greenway.

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: breezy
Date: 10 Dec 08 - 05:03 PM

'The Oldest Swinger in Town'

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: kendall
Date: 11 Dec 08 - 12:57 PM

Guest John Daly, why are you yelling?

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: Acorn4
Date: 14 Dec 08 - 08:06 PM

Sorry about the delay on this, I said I'd post this some time ago, but have only just run into the writer again tonight -it's a very clever parody on "Down Where the Drunkards Roll" by Richard Thompson:-

Down at the 19th Hole

by Garry Stacey Sept 2008

See the boys out golfing, the boys they look so fine,
In tweeds and Rupert trousers, Pringle sweatered swine,
Sartorially challenged, whilst drinking ale and wine

Down at the 19th hole, down at the 19th hole

See the golfer standing, staring at the ground
Looking for an eagle, three putts were all he found
He's just broke his putter, so he's going to hang around

Down at the 19th hole, down at the 19th hole

There goes a troubled golfer, he dreams a troubled dream,
He's driven off the fairway; his ball cannot be seen.
Soon he will be drinking, just to let off steam

Down at the 19th hole, down at the 19th hole

You may be a golfer, who's always in the sand
You may be a loser, who's always being panned
You may pray to Jesus, maybe he'll understand

Down at the 19th hole, down at the 19th hole

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: Acorn4
Date: 14 Dec 08 - 08:08 PM

Ande

"Any Old Iron"

I suppose!

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: Auxiris
Date: 15 Dec 08 - 07:03 AM

Not a very nice song (and I'm sorry, I don't know who wrote it), but here 'tiz:

I'll tell you the story of sweet Ellie Mae
She took up the golf in a serious way,
With her shiny new golf clubs and new plastic bag
She could have passed for Jack Nicklaus in drag.

Too ra loo, too ra lay
And it's keep your heads down boys and hammer away!

Now Ellie was handicapped more than the rest
Her swing was impaired by the size of her chest;
Her over-development caused her downfall
For when she sung they both swung and they all missed the ball.

Too ra loo, too ra lay
And it's keep your heads down boys and hammer away!

In sheer desperation she went to the pro
He looked at big Ellie and he said, "I dunno;
I've only seen two that swing like yours do
And they were on a camel in Winnipeg Zoo!"

Too ra loo, too ra lay
And it's keep your heads down boys and hammer away!

Now this callous remark at the poor girl's physique
Caused Ellie to lash out in a sheer fit of pique;
Her blow caught the pro on his most cherished spot
and now he's got two just as big as she's got.

Too ra loo, too ra lay
And it's keep your heads down boys and hammer away!

best,

Aux

Subject: RE: Songs about golf
From: dwditty
Date: 15 Dec 08 - 08:50 PM

As MArquis de Sade said, "Golf is Flog spelled backwards."

dw