What should Greg Stephens play next?

Subject: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: greg stephens
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 11:59 AM

I am pretty indifferent looking, a few pounds over weight, and somewhat past the prime of life (early sixties, or perhaps middle sixties to be more accurate). So at first people laugh cruelly at me when I go into the pub, but when they find I can actually play the guitar a bit they are really suprised. Possibly a few are even moved to tears, though I haven't actually spotted this yet.
So, I'm hoping lots and lots of people will be really interested in telling me what tunes I should play next(Freight Train is the one I can do at the moment). I hope they will want to tell me if I should have a make over, or stay as sweet as I am. And do you think I should accept the offer of a million dollars to appear in a porn film? What do you think?

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Emma B
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 12:04 PM

Two suggestions Greg -

Maybe you should play Over the Hills and Far Away :)

but most of all 'Stay as Sweet as You Are'

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 12:07 PM

Thanks for this Greg! A real hoot...

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 12:36 PM

Dominos.

:D (eG)

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Goose Gander
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 12:51 PM

Seeds of Love, as an opera.

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Peace
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 01:01 PM

The pron offer looks good. However, that's only $100,000 an inch. Ask for more.

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: matt milton
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 01:08 PM

Maybe you could audition for Britain's Got Talent. You might be the next Elaine Paige. Are you a virgin?

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Will Fly
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 01:15 PM

Taking you back to a conversation we had about 40 years ago, it has to be the Maple Leaf Rag - in the key of A. I was playing it (very badly) in G at the time, and this slim young thing called Greg Stephens said, "Everybody plays it in A". This chat, by the way, was at the stage door of the Lancaster Playhouse, where you were doing the music for The Beggars Opera.

So, there you have it, Simon Cowell and other Britain's Got Talent judges: Greg Stephens playing... the Maple Leaf Rag - on the tenor banjo! (Roars of applause from a bemused audience).

Who'da thought it...

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Rasener
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 01:21 PM

I think you should play the hurdy gurdy next and then you can sing "The Hurdy Gurdy Man"

However, take my advice Greg and go for the porn film, but make sure your rhythm isn't too quick at your age :-)

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: TheSnail
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 01:22 PM

Given this, who would you like to play you in the movie of your success?

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: frogprince
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 01:23 PM

A nice banjo rendition of "The Grand March From Aida" might impress the judges.

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: GUEST,Peace
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 01:27 PM

Yer gettin' good advice here, Greg.

Make sure it's alliterative, though. Stuff like "Banjo meets Beethoven" or "Prince of Porn Plays Piano With His       ."

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Vic Smith
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 01:39 PM

I'd love to hear "The Sound of Silence" from Greg!

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 02:40 PM

awww, Greg...it don't make much difference. Just go see Susan Boyle and offer to back her on whatever she sings...

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Rifleman (inactive)
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 02:49 PM

Who's Greg Stephens?

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Rasener
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 02:59 PM

Greg will now expose himself http://www.myspace.com/boatbanduk

Go listen Rifleman

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Rifleman (inactive)
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 03:02 PM

I listened and my question remains the same

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Goose Gander
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 03:18 PM

Who is Rifleman?

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: GUEST,No cookie Rifleman
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 03:44 PM

well the thread heading isn't my name is it?

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Peace
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 03:45 PM

Who is on first!

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Rasener
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 04:05 PM

The Boat Band is Greg Stephens Band.

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Spleen Cringe
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 04:48 PM

Now laugh if you will, but I reckon I'm onto something. Take Neil Brookes and Tony Weatherall's stonkin' "Whitchurch Hornpipe" CD and give it a proper Boat Band cajun/ceilidh/grime remix. Result! C'mon, Greg! You know you want to do it! It's a bloomin' fab idea... you can even draught in a couple of rappers!

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Emma B
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 05:05 PM

these lads?

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Spleen Cringe
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 05:16 PM

Eeek! You wouldn't mess, would you? Folk dance massive in da area. Nuff respect.

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Bobert
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 06:28 PM

Well, listen here, buddy... Quit feelin' like yer some overweight old guy and play some fun and young songs like...

..."King Bee" ("I'm young and able to buzz all night long... If ya hear me buzzing, baby... There's some stingin' goin' on...)

Here's what you do, gregster... Put yer head phones on and listen to Sonny Landrith... He plays a cajan style of music... Steal a cople o' his songs...

Don't play no weepy songs...

Drenk!!!

That's my advice...

Bobert (yer drenking buddy)

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: greg stephens
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 07:04 PM

Well, shucks, thanks for the advice. I'm overwhelmed.Let me tell you kind folks what's worrying me. It's the eyebrows. Should I leave them bushy, or have them groomed a bit? I don't really know what turns Simon Cowell on. What do you think?

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Emma B
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 07:50 PM

Wow! Bobert thanks for that what a lovely way to end the day

Next To Kindred Spirit

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Will Fly
Date: 23 Apr 09 - 03:44 AM

Always plait the eyebrows. Surprised you had to ask.

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Folkiedave
Date: 23 Apr 09 - 03:48 AM

Greg I'd be really worried if you DID know what turned Simon Cowheel on.

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: MikeofNorthumbria
Date: 23 Apr 09 - 06:44 AM

Hi Greg - For a real turn-on, why not try Morris Dancing? All that leaping about will certainly keep your vital juices flowing, as well as generating a healthy thirst for your beverage of choice. And in the pub session which usually follows a dance spot you can play Maple Leaf Rag, or Les Flammes d'Enfer, or anything else you fancy - to wild acclamation, no doubt. "Laisse les bon temps rouler"

Wassail!

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 23 Apr 09 - 08:56 AM

For a man of your experience you should consider:

Centre half for Stoke City, Bass in a metal band, putting the Cliff Richard song book into cajun, tiddly winks, Othelo for obvious reasons and the part of Freddie Mercury on the next Queen tour

L in C

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Banjiman
Date: 23 Apr 09 - 09:08 AM

?????? Kirkby Fleetham Folk Club on September 26th maybe? Oh, you already are.

in that case maybe The Fool?

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 23 Apr 09 - 10:41 AM

Yes, plait the eyebrows. Then see if you can get yourself a hairstyle last seen in 'Gosford Park.'

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 23 Apr 09 - 03:01 PM

How about Trevor Howard in a remake of Brief Encounter to be filmed on Stoke Station with Jones & Shufflebottom in the setting or Geoff Hurst in a film of the 1966 World Cup, or the banjo a bit more often?

Cheers

L in C

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 23 Apr 09 - 03:14 PM

For Greg and Mike - as Oxford alumni, you may like to know that surviving former members of OUMM (well, these days known as Ancient Men)have been invited to Nairobi to dance today on St George's Day and celebrate the 60th birthday of an Ancient Man and former dancer with Abingdon. I understand that various Ancient Men have indeed gone to dance in Nairobi from various countries around the world.   So I'd suggest Haste to the Wedding, Getting upstairs and blue-eyed stranger. Not necessarily in that order.....

Kitty

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: greg stephens
Date: 23 Apr 09 - 03:16 PM

Yes, but is Susan Boyle coming?

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 23 Apr 09 - 03:44 PM

Wouldn't "going" be more appropriate?

Kitty

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: The Sandman
Date: 23 Apr 09 - 03:45 PM

how about Beethovens Ninth symphony

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Rafflesbear
Date: 23 Apr 09 - 03:50 PM

The Royal Variety Performance

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 23 Apr 09 - 04:20 PM

Ahoy there Mr. Stephens - you are a sharp lad and classically inclined - this lyric to the timeless tune of The Merry Widow Waltz will fit the needs of your immediate audience quite well.

The bird shit in the captain's eye
So why can't I?

An elephant poohed on the captain too
So why don't you?

If he's feeling funny
If he's feeling blue
Save the captain money
Just tell him what to do.

If his dick has boyles
If his torn thorn is bobbed
If his bliss is missed
The captain will give you the job.

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Mr Red
Date: 24 Apr 09 - 07:42 AM

Horses Brawl in the key of GG
The Rocky Road to Dublin in the key of A1 (or more accurately it should be a Bminor).

But seriously Greg - whatever you play I know it will be entertaining.
& I do like dancing the Horses Brawl (or City Brawl to be precise to that tune) and Blozabella have it in their tunebook as G to Gminor - don't ya know.

Subject: RE: What should Greg Stephens play next?
From: Fortunato
Date: 24 Apr 09 - 02:02 PM

The trick, Greg, me old china, is to keep singing...

If you're singing you're likely to still be alive.