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Subject: Gives up From: Dan'l (inactive) Date: 14 Jul 99 - 02:26 AM Thanks friends. I enjoyed the forum, but I guess I don't fit in. |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: Roger in Baltimore Date: 14 Jul 99 - 06:07 AM I am always curious, and if I'm just being nosy, ignore me. If you read this Dan'l, what happened to make you feel you don't belong? I read through all of your posts. Except for your apology for any unintended offense, I saw nothing to indicate you don't fit in. This makes me suspect that whatever happened with Dan'l, happened in the chat room. Any clues? Anybody? Roger in Baltimore |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: Jeri Date: 14 Jul 99 - 08:22 AM Dan'l, from what I can see, you appear to be doing just fine. I'm pretty new here, and I thought you'd been around for a long time. (And I AM going to spring your version of Molly Malone on somebody!) So what corner of the world are you in? What brought you to Mudcat? |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: alison Date: 14 Jul 99 - 08:31 AM dan'l please tell us what happened... we would hate to think we chased anyone off. We really are a friendly bunch of people. slainte alison |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: alison Date: 14 Jul 99 - 08:42 AM Hi Dan'l ... I just looked through your postings, to see if I could figure out why you didn't feel welcome. the cockles and mussels thread wouldn't have offended anyone.. we're broad minded (just check out the flatulence thread to seee what our taste is like **grin**) the whole problem with these threads is that you can't see peoples expressions or hear the inflection in their voices to know if they are joking. Once you get to know the regulars better you can usually tell. but to help some people use :-) etc (smiley faces) or NOI (no offence intended) or TIC (tongue in cheek). So I hope you don't think anyone was having a go at you... stick around you'll get addicted like the rest of us. slainte alison
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: Rick Fielding Date: 14 Jul 99 - 09:45 AM Dog-gonnit Dan'l, it's so frustrating when someone makes this kind of decision without giving some information. On Mudcat it's like a member of a family leaving without letting the rest know why. I know I shouldn't give a damn, cause it's a big world out there and I hardly know you from Adam, but for some reason I do. (That's the effect Mudcat can have on some) When Bruce O. left, he made it clear (if very curtly) that he felt that Mudcat had become so much B.S. I felt hurt, but at least I knew his reason. Please return, if for only one posting, and let us know what happened. It DOES make a difference. rick |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: Night Owl Date: 14 Jul 99 - 01:27 PM Echoing Rick's sentiments.....REALLY frustrating not knowing what happened. When I first found Mudcats, I read postings for a long time before gathering the courage to hit the "submit" button. I think we've all experienced hitting submit, and then feeling we shouldn't have, but also see nothing wrong with Dan'l postings, nor the responses. When I attempt to be humorous, if noone responds it's uncomfortable.....until I remind myself that I often sit here in stitches, reading the humor, respecting the intelligence etc., and often don't respond to every comment that I enjoy/respect. We can't, without interrupting the flow of the conversations. If we did, the entire thread would become burdensome. (I still think calling Max "Your Jah Righteousness" is funny!). I've gotten to know somewhat, I think, the flow and tone of the comments, but do think it continues to be important to add NOI or JK or a smiley face to "tongue in cheek" stuff. Dan'l...hope you at least give us a one liner response and/or maybe suggestions on how to keep good people here. Maybe you were just having a negative "moment", if so, forget it and enjoy this place. |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: annamill Date: 14 Jul 99 - 01:52 PM Dan'l, are you serious? I just did a forum search and found what you thought was offensive in the "What 'serious' song do you giggle through?" thread. The Molly Malone thing was cute, but did not require a response. I just giggled and moved on to the next posting. If I left because of all the threads that stopped dead after a posting I had done, or, thoughts that had no response, I'd be long time gone. Don't assume you know what people are feeling about something you posted. If you think someone was offended, just ask. Someone will definitely respond. I hope you see this. annap |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: The Shambles Date: 14 Jul 99 - 02:07 PM Dan'l. No one fits in and everyone fits in. |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: Chet W. Date: 14 Jul 99 - 02:33 PM Danl, if you're still there; I've felt like giving up a few times myself. We have discussions that get pretty heated sometimes (I've added too much to the heat sometimes myself), and like any other group of people in the world we have it all, from saints to pompous asses. But you may find, as I did, that you just can't walk away from a group of such excellent people and one of the few forms of community left to modern humans. I had to stop writing controversial essays for awhile, but where else can you get, and receive, advice and help from such a huge knowledge base as Mudcatters are? At least lurk for awhile before you sever all ties. We're mostly OK. Chet |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: Roger in Baltimore Date: 14 Jul 99 - 02:47 PM Pompous asses, Chet? Here at Mudcat? I demand a roll call! Big RiB |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: Bert Date: 14 Jul 99 - 03:23 PM Pompous asses, well there's Me for one RiB. |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: catspaw49 Date: 14 Jul 99 - 03:24 PM Okay RiB---One. Actually, I never even ran into Dan'l, but in truth I do occasionally worry how some of my postings read to the outside world/newbies. Occasionally. Dan'l, I too hope you come back for at least an explanation. Like Rick said, I too hate losing people without an explanation. catspaw |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: Peter T. Date: 14 Jul 99 - 03:28 PM Me certainly for two! I say if the guy goes, and he says he enjoyed it, and thanks us, what more can you do? He at least said goodbye, didn't leave any pregnant daughters, bad checks, or nasty smells under the bed. So long, it's been good to know yuh. Guys, we could all turn into the parents in "She's Leaving Home" here. yours, Peter T. |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: moonchild Date: 14 Jul 99 - 03:43 PM Dan'l ... I know how you feel. The Mudcat can be "clicky" (no pun intended) and it seems at times that it's being controlled by a select few and it's useless to post to some threads because the "conversations" are obviously between only certain people and, if you do post an answer, story, or opinion, it's like having someone talk over your head. I come and go and lurk and sometimes post just because I want to add my two cents, whether anyone's interested or not. Most of the people are sincere, especially those who have been around for a while. I've read threads and sat and stared at them for a while, with my mouth twisted, deciding whether to post or not, especially if my opinion is not the popular one. And, some of the stuff marked BS is becoming a bit too much, especially the bathroom humor, which I don't open. My advice, therefore, is to stick around and check back in occasionally, because it always eventually comes back to what we love ... traditional folk and blues ... moonchild
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: Barbara Date: 14 Jul 99 - 04:09 PM moonchild,(and anyone els this applies to, I think it's a matter of familiarity breeds, well, familiarity. Or maybe some of us like the sight of our own words so much that we're willing to keep writing when no one appears to notice us. I came here for quite a while and no one much spoke to me other than to dispute my 'facts' occasionally. Eventually the accumulated weight of my postings built up and people started getting an idea of who I was, and responded by quips and teasing; flirting, insults, jokes, what have you. But it was because they were starting to have a sense of who I was by what I posted. Of course, there are the folks like 'spaw and Art who immediately say such outrageous things that you notice 'em right off; I'm not reccommending that approach to life, but it does gain one pretty immediate notoriety. I think they also, by example, dare the rest of us to be wilder too. A lot of the 'clique', if you read back, are writers, and God knows, one thing that makes us writers is our unwillingness/inability to shut up. And finally, there are certain common grounds a lot of us have here, and if you don't share those, you will find we don't fit you any better than you fit us. Ones I have noticed are irreverence, wit, humor, kindness, flashes of outrageousness, tolerance, opinionatedness, and a love of music. A lot of us are unregenerate hippies now working on our curmudgeonhood, and, my friend, it is NOT for everyone. Blessings, Barbara |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: Matthew B. Date: 14 Jul 99 - 04:19 PM Dan'l really got me thinking about not fitting in. Oh no. Maybe *I* don't fit in either! Eeeeek Now I'm starting to get paranoid... Maybe annap deliberately scheduled her gathering on a date when I'd be unable to make it. Come to think of it, her hug could have been a little tighter the last time I saw her. Maybe all these people have been so nice to me because they mistook me for a different Matthew B. and they'd only send me hate mail if they knew it was me. Oh, I'll never get asked to the prom now. (sniff) (((Deep Breath))) Whew. That's better. Guess I'll stay after all. |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: Joe Offer Date: 14 Jul 99 - 04:41 PM I guess if I spent much time in the "BS" threads, I wouldn't feel I fit in, either. It looks like people are having fun, but it just isn't interesting to me. When there was too much of that chit-chat mixed in with the music discussions, I got a bit disgusted. There would be an interesting discussion going on about the history of a song or the variety of versions of a song, and somebody would jump in and say how boring the discussion was and suggest livening it up with a potty joke or two. Then the discussion would go off on an entirely different tangent, forgetting all about the music. That seems to have resolved itself, though. You can pretty-much tell from thread titles what you'll find, and you can go into only those threads that interest you. I get lost in the "BS" threads, so you won't find me there much. I like the music stuff and the tech stuff, so that's where you'll find me. Sometimes I may jump in too fast with an answer and that may inhibit discussion at times, but I try to watch that. I like to see us build on the information that's already in the forum and the database, rather than discussing the same thing over and over again - so I try to provide links to the lyrics and previous discussions. The "BS" is fine, I guess, but I do think we've got an obligation to maintain our reputation as one of the best folk music information resources ever devised. Dick and Susan and Max have given us a remarkable ideal to live up to, and it's up to us to do what we can to build on this wonderful phenomenon known as the Mudcat Cafe. -Joe Offer- |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: Matthew B. Date: 14 Jul 99 - 04:53 PM So Joe, I was wondering about the seven-string banjo I've heard about in songs but never actually seen. Have you ever seen one? Are they in use at all today? |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: Joe Offer Date: 14 Jul 99 - 05:02 PM Hey, Matthwe, I dunno about those things. I got five thumbs on each hand, and can't even think about playing a five-string instrument. The instrument I play best is the CD player. -Joe Offer- |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: bbc Date: 14 Jul 99 - 05:05 PM Joe, I don't think for a minute that you jump in too quickly. I think we all appreciate your expertise. I read some threads & not others. Some I read, but don't comment on. I would like us to be a little more discriminating to keep serious serious & bs bs, though. Sometimes we miss info we'd like to see, because the threads become so mixed. Also, as we've gotten to know each other, we probably chat too much personally in the threads. Unless it is pertinent to the thread, we can use Mudcat personal messages, Mudcat email, my email site, or Mudcat chat for some of that. best to all, bbc |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: Joe Offer Date: 14 Jul 99 - 05:44 PM Well, although the "BS" can get tedious to some of us at times, the interaction we have here in the open forum is what has built us into the marvelous community that we are. E-mail and chat are nice, but it's the forum that has made us what we are. -Joe Offer- |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: Mudjack Date: 14 Jul 99 - 06:07 PM So...Lo...ng Danl, The only apology I can think of is, " Sorry you could'nt find your niche here." Patience is the key here. Hang on for a little while and you'll find what you're looking for, if not then you're doing the right thing. Move on to what it is your looking for. Folks, Danl might be looking for the lion's den. Sheet, I thought this was a cat's den. |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: The Shambles Date: 14 Jul 99 - 06:08 PM Just a thought. It could be that one of the factors that might make someone feel that they did not fit here, is that they may not have seen their name included in the list of Mudcatter's names, that people post here, from time to time. I know this is done for the best of reasons, but it might be a good idea if we are tempted to do that, to include ALL the contributors by name, if we can't do that it might be as well not to list any names? For in truth it is ALL of the Mudcatter's, that make this place special and there are really too many fine folk here to name them all, or to possibly offend them by excluding their name from a list. |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: katlaughing Date: 14 Jul 99 - 06:17 PM Mud is thicker than water and that goes for all a'ya! |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: thosp Date: 14 Jul 99 - 06:18 PM hey Dan'l ---- i'm new here too --- i think it's a case of rookieites --- it might be worth sticking it out a while longer ( at least that's what i intend to do ) anyway good luck whatever you decide to do ! |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: katlaughing Date: 14 Jul 99 - 06:24 PM Dan'l: I just read through your postings, too. Noticed you'd posted to a couple after starting this thread. Maybe that means you might stick it out a bit longer? No pun intended.**BigGrin** I really doubt that you offended anyone. I really laughed when I read your Molly Malone AND that great/worst pickup line! We Mudcateers are a little like fine wine....better when aged....as in after you've hung around a bit, then you get to be just like us, in a word: DIVERSE! I used to worry that I posted too much, but my philosophy has always been to jump in with both feet and there's no changing that now, so I found acceptance & if anyone is annoyed at me, I like to think they would feel comfortable enough to say so. There...my more than 2 cents worth, again! |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: Matthew B. Date: 14 Jul 99 - 06:26 PM bbc, I have to disagree with you when you say: I would like us to be a little more discriminating to keep serious serious & bs bs, though. Sometimes we miss info we'd like to see, because the threads become so mixed. That mixing of the threads is part of what makes Mudcat so magically special for me. We're not members of some senate investigations committee (are we?), who need to get serious responses to our research queries without getting sidetracked with a heaping helping of friendliness. I like to think that we're more like a living room full of best friends, shooting the breeze, making music, and oh yes, asking each other lots of questions about things that interest us and the music we love. |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: katlaughing Date: 14 Jul 99 - 06:56 PM There was a great thread on this, "more music, less BS" a while ago, here that you might find of interest. Just in case I did that wrong, here is the whatchamacallit: http://www.mudcat.org/thread.CFM?threadID=10739 kat |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: LEJ Date: 14 Jul 99 - 07:30 PM Maybe it's because I'm just an insensitive jerk, but why would someone start a thread announcing that they just don't fit in and are leaving the Mudcat? Seems to me that it's an attempt to get other folks who enjoy this forum to feel guilt and apologise for whatever crime (real or imagined) that was perpetrated against the victim. If you don't like the party, leave quietly and find another- don't make really nice people like Katlaughing, Rick and annap bend over backwards trying to make you feel welcome. LEJ, who really likes this forum, and defies a team of wild horses to drag him away from it |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: catspaw49 Date: 14 Jul 99 - 07:59 PM Somebody get some wild horses. Well stated Leej...and also Barbara Blessings. I know that we (I) can get a little carried away, but you know most generally I don't. Yeah, my sense of humor certainly isn't conventional but some people either seem to have none or take things way too damn seriously. No one ever asks if I'm offended...probably because they don't think I can be, and they're probably right most times. But I do get a little aggravated at the implication that some of us can't take the "serious" threads seriously...that we lack interest in the true meaning of this forum. If you want BS, THAT'S TOTAL BS!!! I love whatever my definition is of folk music, I play everyday on something and my interest in instruments and their histories is no less than anyone's around here. I love the protest music of the 60's (aging radical), love Woody, love the music of the Southern Mountains.....just another aging folkie. I admit I do enjoy poking fun as someone is trying to ferret out the actual or authentic third word in the second line of the ninety third verse of "Diddle My Fiddle"...but just ignore me and go on. Now let's get back to matters at hand and get rid of Leej......Get them there Belgians over here NOW!!! catspaw |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: LEJ Date: 14 Jul 99 - 08:20 PM I said WILD horses Catspaw. No fair using those damn draft animals! |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: Jeri Date: 14 Jul 99 - 09:22 PM LEJ, even if Dan'l just wanted people to notice he was here and was going to leave, I don't have a problem with that. I'm not bending over backwards, nor feeling guilty. I will admit to being confused (normal state) and I think it's a shame someone would leave with such a cryptic parting statement. I'd say it's possible he just didn't find what he was looking for here - if it weren't for the thread title. In any case, if I don't hear anything, I give up. |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: LEJ Date: 14 Jul 99 - 09:54 PM Jeri-I hear you. I actually read some of the guy's posts and enjoyed them myself. Maybe this thread was just an appeal for some recognition. If so, it seems to have worked. One of the best things about this forum is the lack of "hidden agendas." I think the give and take here is very honest. When Seed is pissed at Gargoyle (I think that happened once) he says it out loud. When I disagree with Katlaf or Matthew, I respect them enough to say so without fear of alienating them. If Catspaw says he wants to yank me out of this forum with a team of Clydesdales, I laugh and hold on tight. If Dan'l reads this and thinks I'm full of crap, he is invited to tell me. But enough of this "Snif I'm gonna take my ball and go home." LEJ |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: John Hindsill Date: 14 Jul 99 - 10:02 PM LEJ & Jeri, I second your comments. If one wants to leave, just do it. I, myself would never make such a comment. [But I'm going to hold my breath (whoosh) 'til you pay attention to me!] |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: katlaughing Date: 14 Jul 99 - 10:18 PM Seein's how I'm out here in the real West, I 'spose we could round up them wild horses fer ya to get the Leej outta the way. C'mon 'Spawdnuh, saddle up yer pony & let's go! As for bending over backwards, LeeJ, thanks for being a Knight in Shining Armour, but honey, I haven't bent over that way, for anybody in a long, long time!**BG** Naw, the Pollyanna in me always want to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, at least once. 'Spaw, I know what you mean. I am too sensitive, according to most of my family (I prefer to call myself an empath ala Marian Zimmer Bradley's Darkover books), and I know my feelings get hurt too easily, but not as much as one might think, here at the 'Cat. Because I feel I know most of you pretty well, I take most of it in stride. Usually if I feel a really strong emotion, other than outright hilarity, it is royally PO'd at something I consider to be stoop-id. When I have felt a little bruised, I've reached out, privately to a couple of you, you know who you are, stayed away for a few days and come back, hopefully with a vengeance!**BG** The circle turns ever upward. What works for one, at the time, may not for another, until the next revolution within their own spiral of life. katlaughing&turningaphrase |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: catspaw49 Date: 14 Jul 99 - 10:19 PM Ohmygawd------ WE LOVE YOU JOHN.........MY DAY REVOLVES AROUND YOUR POSTS.......YOU ARE WONDERFUL, INSIGHTFUL, BRILLIANT!!! WE HATE YOU JOHN.........YOUR POSTS MAKE ME GAG AND ARE LAUGHABLY IGNORANT.....YOU ARE AN IDIOT, NAIVE, STUPID!!! Didn't know whether you were looking for negative or positive attention......Choose either or mix and match.
Have A Great Day___ or Bugger Off___ (Your Choice) catspaw |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: LEJ Date: 14 Jul 99 - 10:28 PM Who the heck is this Hindsill guy, anyway? Anybody got a clue? Katlaf..I was kidding about the bending over backwards part. I realize it's almost impossible to keep the cat on top of your head when you do that. LEJend in his own mind |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: bbc Date: 14 Jul 99 - 10:32 PM Boy, catspaw, I'm sure glad you rescued John! I would have hated to lose 2 in one day (Breathe, John, breathe--we're here for you!!!). best whatever, bbc |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: katlaughing Date: 14 Jul 99 - 10:40 PM Rejoice, Rejoice, my fellow Mudcateers! We've done it again, made lemonade outta what coulda been a lemon thread! My LeeJ - how're those tights? **BG** Sure glad we got that straightened out! katlaughing&havingahelluvalottaPHUN! |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: catspaw49 Date: 14 Jul 99 - 10:43 PM Hmmm...Can't help but notice a certain amount of thread creep here........................SO
Kat, I'm getting a wonderful mental image of you bending over backwards........and for that matter, bending over forwards. Of course you have to realize that my mind is still 25 and I'm thinking in terms of a younger man. Of course I'm thinking of you as a younger woman so it's all working out well. THWAAMMPPLOP (sound of reality setting in)
Hello world............... catspaw |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: katlaughing Date: 14 Jul 99 - 11:33 PM Actually 'Spaw, not so undoable in what I call center-age! Esp. if one does their Tai Chi and other bendfull exercises! I'se touch m'toes everyday! |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: Rick Fielding Date: 14 Jul 99 - 11:45 PM Ok enough is enough! Dan'l, I'm sorry you've left, but 37 out of 40 mudcatters bending over backwards begging you to return IS a revolting image...I for one am going to stand tall once again. (as soon as the fire department arrives to help me up) Now, back to business: 1. Catspaw. I've never meant to offend you, and I sincerely apologise. 2. Mathew. I'LL hug you, for God's sake! 3. Katlaughing. Stop getting Catspaw's blood flowing like that. It might kill him. (he is not a young man) 4. Seed. You've been pissed off at Gargoyle only ONCE? Give me a break! 5. Moonchild. There isn't a group in the universe that ISN'T clicky! As cliques go this one ain't bad. Keep posting, and NEVER worry if it's an unpopular position. As a non-church-going, gun control, pro-choice, "Seinfeld fan" I know a little about unpopular positions, and so far my mudcat friends have treated me wonderfully. 6. Chet. Your controversial essays were exquisitely written, and sure weren't controversial to me. Keep writin' 'em. 7. Lej. How come my Radio Shack caller ID system 200 suddenly broke after only 3 weeks? (oops, wrong thread) 8. Sham, I'm trying to get everyone's name in, but my hand's getting tired, so you can take over if you want.
I hope folks know that some of these are tongue in cheek. Personally I've had a frustrating day in the recording studio cause we had some equipment failure. We wuz all cussin' and swearing! |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: WyoWoman Date: 15 Jul 99 - 12:01 AM Another thing to remember is that sometimes someone doesn't answer to your comment because s/he has left the Forum and done something prosaic, like going to work. We all keep different schedules. There are even some -- *gasp* -- who don't read Mudcat every day. So silence doesn't necessarily mean you've offended anyone or that you're being ignored, just that you didn't get an immediate response. AND, sometimes, you say something you thought was really funny or clever, and it drops into the abyss without so much as a thud. If you take it personally, it'll drive you nutz, as with so much of life! WW |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: Joe Offer Date: 15 Jul 99 - 12:02 AM What's this? A new album, Rick? I want one. -Joe- |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: gargoyle Date: 15 Jul 99 - 12:02 AM Lot's of other places Daniel
Have fun exploring - try the news groups. |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: WyoWoman Date: 15 Jul 99 - 12:03 AM AND, by the way (this is what I always do: think of something else right after I hit the 'send' button...), I really like the visiting that takes place, even (maybe especially) on the BS threads. I know very few people in my town except the people I work with, so having the chance to come home, fire up Prince the Computer and "visit" in the evenings is fun. Yeah, yeah. I have no life. So? WW |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: catspaw49 Date: 15 Jul 99 - 12:05 AM Thanks for that sincere and heartfelt apology Rick. Perhaps this will help to improve our distrustful and antagonistic relationship. I also want to thank you for your concerns about my age and health. Kat certainly got the juices flowing.......Then I had a mental image of YOU bending over backwards and things returned to normal.
catspaw You actually had a piece of Radio Shack stuff that lasted 3 weeks? Damn, I thought 9 days was the limit. |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: Lonesome EJ Date: 15 Jul 99 - 12:29 AM Rick and Catspaw... well, you've finally done it, you sumbitches, you've hit on my one area of accute sensitivity.Well, listen up! Don't come complaining to me unless you've got your invoice AND all the original packaging, ya bastards. And LOOK-ya put the goddam batteries in BACKWARDS!! Well, that's it... that rips it. I'm outta here. You won't have LEJ to kick around anymore!! This is my last post!! I'm so damned ANGRY. If you want me, I'll be hangin around at the Classic Rock Chatroom, where people are nice,and friendly, and don't spend all their time complaining about their damned CALLER IDs!!! |
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Subject: RE: Gives up From: Rick Fielding Date: 15 Jul 99 - 12:29 AM You'll get one free Joe. I don't want you investigatin' me. |
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