Silly short songs

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Mar 14 - 08:02 AM

A bar of soap and an old French letter
A case of syphilis that won't get better
And when I pee it stings
These foolish things
Remind me of you.

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: GUEST,LynnH
Date: 21 Mar 14 - 02:29 PM

What a local bus ride can be good for..............

"The king has been a prisoner
A prisoner long in Spain
- And they can keep him!

Hello darkness my old friend
- haven't paid the bill again / snow on the cables again!

Through bushes and through briars I lately made my way
- I'm all scratched up and my clothes are ruined

When they poured across the border I was ordered to surrender
- I obeyed

True Thomas lay on Huntly Bank
- Stoned as usual

Did you ever hear of brave Earl Brand?
-No.

Lady Margaret sat in her castle tower, sewing a silken seam
She looked out through the high window
She saw the fog was thick

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Mar 14 - 12:42 PM

Oh tobaccy pipes, tobaccy pipes, tobaccy pipes & porter;
You've often heard a longer song,
You'll never hear one shorter.

From the singing of Séamus Ennis.
Air: Waxie's Dargle

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Mar 14 - 11:31 AM

Bill D - I think Scotsmen would be following the whisky (not the whiskey)!!!

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: Phil Edwards
Date: 21 Mar 14 - 07:37 AM

Not quite the same thing, but Peter Blegvad's song The Only Song goes like this:

Imagine a world where this was the only song
And against your will
You had to sit and listen to it all day long
Until it made you ill

The second verse goes like this:

Imagine a world where this was the only song
And against your will
You had to sit and listen to it all day long
Until it made you ill

The third verse... you get the idea.

I saw the comedian Rory McGrath once as part of a semi-jokey C&W act, I forget what they were called. They had one song which had one of those rather mumbly "when I wake up with my love beside me" openings...

"And I lean to her and kiss her
And her kiss is warm and tender
And it feels just like the first time
And she opens her eyes wide
And she says

Who...
The fuck are you?
Who the fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck are you?
Who the fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck..."

It ended there.

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: Bert
Date: 21 Mar 14 - 05:39 AM

My Dad used to sing

Terranay coray, terranay chah
cuchenay coray, pukkeray pah.

I don't know what it means or how to spell it. I guess he got it from someone when he worked in The Docks; maybe an Indian.

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: Tradsinger
Date: 21 Mar 14 - 05:24 AM

Then there's Frank Ifield's famous song:

"I remember you ........ you bastard"

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: GUEST,eldergirl
Date: 21 Mar 14 - 05:11 AM

Where have you been all the day, Billy boy, Billy boy?
Where have you been all the day, my Billy boy?
I've been lurking all the day
On the old Mudcat Cafe,
And the threads all tickled my fancy,
Oh my charming Billy boy.
;-D

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: eftifino
Date: 21 Mar 14 - 03:19 AM

Victor Borge: 'I will now play 'The Minute Waltz' and it won't take long.'

Kenneth Horne: "In this show, Maria de Los Angeles and Lonnie Donnegan will sing a duet entitled 'Oh, My beloved Father's a Dustman"

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Mar 14 - 10:07 PM

tune Ruben, Ruben

♫Why do Scotsmen leave the country?
Why do Scotsmen emigrate?
They are following the whiskey
That is leaving crate by crate.♫

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: GUEST,Vicki Kelsey guest
Date: 20 Mar 14 - 09:33 PM

Leprosy as sung by Mike Agranoff to the tune of "Yesterday".
Leprosy. All my skin is falling off of me. I'm not half the man I used to be...

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 20 Mar 14 - 09:16 PM

Just in case nobody has submitted it.

The gallant frigate Amphitrite
Sank in Plymouth Sound

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: JennieG
Date: 20 Mar 14 - 05:51 PM

From the pen of the late prolific Irving Berlin, with slight amendments:

"I'll be loving you......sideways.......!"

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: GUEST,Jon Heslop
Date: 20 Mar 14 - 09:09 AM

Tradsinger,
There is a rendition of it the Dave Williams album, "You're On Nipper!. Forest Tracks FT2CD 201. The late Dave Williams was one of the local heroes of the Southampton/South Hampshire area in my early days in folk music,late 1960's and that song was often one of his throwaway items if he couldn't think of anything else to do, which was very rarely.

My favourite short song has to be a version of "Little Sir Hugh"

"Can I have my ball back, mister?"

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: GUEST,Mike Yates
Date: 20 Mar 14 - 07:24 AM

I'm surprised that the following, recorded in the 1920's by the Carter Brothers and Son (if my memory serves me right), has not been included so far:

I had a dog and his name was Rover
When he died, he died all over.

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: Bert
Date: 20 Mar 14 - 06:41 AM

To the tune of two lovely black eyes...

Oh Grannie's red drawers
Oh Grannie's red drawers
There's a hole in the middle
so Granny can piddle
Oh Grannie's red drawers

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: Joe_F
Date: 19 Mar 14 - 09:58 PM

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
Oh, piss on thee, O Christmas tree.

If I had the wings of an angel,
Wouldn't I look silly?

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: Bugsy
Date: 19 Mar 14 - 09:46 PM

Simon & Garfunkel

Hello Darknes my old friend
I've walked into the wall again

CHeers

Gugsy

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: Tug the Cox
Date: 19 Mar 14 - 08:22 PM

'I didn't get to sleep last night blues.'

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: Bert
Date: 19 Mar 14 - 06:57 PM

God save our old tom cat
feed him on bread and fat
God save our cat.

Then there is Tom Paxton's "Song for a lost election" which has a great musical introduction building up to a crescendo and the lyric is one word "SHIT!".

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: GUEST,DTM
Date: 19 Mar 14 - 06:51 PM

I've written a new song! (to tune of The Wild Rover)

"I've been a procrastinator for manys a year
And I ........."

Och, I finish it tomorrow.

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: Bert
Date: 19 Mar 14 - 06:50 PM

I talk to the trees, that's why they took me away.

I'm a little bit peculiar in an onion patch.

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: Tradsinger
Date: 19 Mar 14 - 06:33 PM

In my younger days in Portsmouth, we used to think it was hilarious to sing (to the tune of "Bless 'em All")

Goodbye horse, goodbye horse
I was saying goodbye to my horse
And as I was saying goodbye to my horse,
I was saying goodbye to my horse.

Has anyone else come across this jewel of oral tradition?

Tradsinger

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: ChuckP
Date: 19 Mar 14 - 12:47 PM

I eat my peas with honey
I've done it all my life.
It makes the peas taste funny
But it keeps them on the knife.

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: GUEST,Steve Wellcome
Date: 19 Mar 14 - 12:25 PM

I was standing on the corner, minding my own business,
When along came a man and tied his horse to me.

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: Dave Hunt
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 07:17 AM

Clontarf83 - I'm sure that's


I'll sing you a song and it's not very long
All coppers are bastards

I'll sing you another just like the other
All coppers are bastards

(not necessarily my personal feelings - just how I remember it from when I was involved in CND actions in the 60s!)

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: Clontarf83
Date: 08 Nov 09 - 01:15 AM

I will sing you a song that's not too long
Policemen have no fathers

(to the tune of the girl i left behind me)

(or politicians have no fathers)

or mba's etc..

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: Piers Plowman
Date: 06 Nov 09 - 05:33 AM

The folk process is ...

Never having to admit you forgot the words.

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: stallion
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 07:55 PM

guess I folked it up!

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: GUEST,iancarterb
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 04:34 PM

My recall of Burl Ives' Hypochondriac Song:

Oh my liver, my lights, my legs and my lungs
They're paining me, they're paining me.
My heart is sad and my breath is bad,
And I think I'm going crazy.

Carter

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: GUEST,Ian Gill
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 04:19 PM

Taffy Thomas used to do this one years ago, he reckoned it was the shortest sentence in the Bible ;
'Adam ad 'em'.

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 08:28 AM

Not a problem, MtheGM - everyone has a bad day now and again.


Kind regards, Bryn

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 08:17 AM

Dear Bryn: Of course you meant no offence. In return please excuse my tetchiness — must have had a headache or something. The best of us has these moments of touchy idiocy.

Really best regards
    Michael

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: Leadfingers
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 07:31 AM

Susan - Slitherydee is another Shel Siverstein ! (ALWAYS credit your source if you can )

And MY Amphetrite short is even shorter than the previous -

The Gallant Frigate Amphetrite sank

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: GUEST,*Laura*
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 06:45 AM

"Some songs are very very long,
But this one isn't..."

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: Piers Plowman
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 06:40 AM

Arise, arise, Mary Hamilton
Arise and tell to me
What thou hast done with thy wee babe
I saw and heard weep by thee?

Oh, there she is. Never mind.

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 04:06 AM

Dear MtheGM,

My sincere and unreserved apology if that is how it came over.

I intended my most recent post very much 'tongue in cheek', and I am truly sorry for having offended you.

Regards, Bryn

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: stallion
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 02:49 AM

Burl Ives Hypocondriac song circa 1950's recording(awful spelling I know!)
in one breath

Oh me legs and me liver and me lites and me lungs they're failing me they're failing me my breath is bad my had is sad I think I'm going crazy

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: Susan A-R
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 11:02 PM

Hmmm, posted a bunch of stuff earlier today, but must have punched the wrong key at the end.

Outside outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend indeed
Inside inside of a dog, it's much too dark, too dark to read.

A baby sardine saw his first submarine and was scared to look through the peephole
"Come, come come" said the sardine's Mum. "It's only a tin full of people.

To the tune of "God Save the King"
The King he had a date, he stayed out very late, he was a King
The Queen she paced the floor, she paced 'til half past four, she meet him at the door
God Save the King.

I grabbed a tulip, a big yellow tulip and you grabbed a big red rose
My house was burning, the green house was burning, and there was no time for clothes
Nest day the jurry condemned us with fury for being so exposed.
I said "judge quit your stalling, the ptals are falling from his tulip and my red rose.

Slithery Dee came out of the sea, he caught all the others, but he won't catch me.
Stupit old Slithery Dee. He caught all the others, but he won't catch . . . SLURP

I could go on, but . .

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: GUEST,Judy Cook
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 10:58 PM

Honey, you're a girl who likes whale meat
That's an important sign.
Funny, I've got nine tons of whale meat
Small whale, wasn't it.


***


The hills are alive....aaaarrrrghhhhh

****


This is your birthday song
It isn't very long.

*****

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: Hrothgar
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 10:33 PM

There was a wild colonial boy
But the coppers shot him.

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: GUEST,Barry Morty
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 02:22 PM

The Blues version of Bob Knight's son's song:

Well, I woke up this morning
Went to write down this song
But then I turned my television on

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: Acorn4
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 12:06 PM

Adrian Edmondson and the Bad Shepherds are currently touting this one;

All around my hat I will wear the green willow
All around my hat for a twelvemonth and a day,
And if anybody asks me the reason that I'm wearing it,
I'll say mind your own business,
It's my f***ing hat!

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 11:23 AM

Bryn - If you had read the thread before adding to it, as is generally considered courteous around here, you would not have repeated one of my postings — particularly one so prominently placed as the first addition to the thread. Why has the fact that you failed to do so motivated you to be rude and aggressive to me? I ask in genuine puzzlement.

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 11:04 AM

Will ye gang to the Hielans, Leezie Lyndsay ?

No.

(Will these do, MtheGM ?)

How about :

Are ye going to Scarborough Fair ?

No.

Came ye o'er from France ?

No.

Came ye not from Newcastle ?

No.

Will you come to the bower ?

No.

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: Tradsinger
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 10:17 AM

(To the tune of Bushes and Briars)

It was on the fifth of August
On March the eighteenth day.

Wha....?

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: Dave Hunt
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 08:05 AM

I yanked my doodle it was dandy!
________________


She wore no jewels , nor costly diamonds
She wore no clothes - no, bugger all
But a leather G-sting with studs upon it
And round her shoulders was a rubber shawl

_____________

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: Piers Plowman
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 07:56 AM

...
And the very first stroke that Matty struck,
He missed Lord Arlen completely.
And the very first stroke Lord Arlen struck,
Matty put on his clothes and left.

When first I came to Louisville
My fortune there to find
A met a fair young maiden there
We got married and lived happily ever after.

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: Dead Horse
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 07:43 AM

Oh where have you been, my blue eyed son?
Where have you been, my darling young one?
Out.

Subject: RE: Silly short songs
From: Piers Plowman
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 07:17 AM

...
Were they spickled and spackled, Lord Randall my son?
Were they spickled and spackled, my darling young one?

No, they were fine, Mother!
No, they were fine, Mother!