Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)

Subject: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 09:52 PM

I had the great good fortune to see a dynamite public performance by the great Soho street singer, Howling Eddie Cranshaw last weekend, and he did this song, one of the finer protest songs I've ever heard, because it has such a universal appeal. After all, who can put up with scum? Who, I ask you? Most people simply can't bear scum. I can't tolerate them! Can anyone? Howling Eddie nails scum appropriately to the wall (and that's not easy!) in this inspired and subtly understated lyric:

Scum are Scum! ( a mild protest song)

I play in all the street fairs
I fiddle and I hum
With my gitbox and fiddle
Which clearly pleases some
It pleases all the old folk
And it pleases homeless bums
But the ones it doesn't please
Are the fecking, bloody scum!

Because scum are only scum
They're ugly and they're daft
They know they're only scum
Without artistic craft
They're rotten stinking bleeders
Who all should get the shaft!
Yes, scum are rotten scum
They're rotten fecking scum
Let's sink them in the Channel
And provide no bloody raft!

Scum are fecking losers
Scum are stupid sods
If I could get me hands on them
I'd give 'em all the rod
I'd punch their ugly faces
I'd call 'em nasty names
I'd tell 'em all to go to hell
I'd set 'em all aflame

Because scum are only scum
They're ugly and they're daft
They know they're only scum
Without artistic craft
They're rotten stinking bleeders
Who all should get the shaft!
Yes, scum are rotten scum
They're rotten fecking scum
Let's sink them in the Channel
And provide no bloody raft!

Scum are stupid useless gits
Scum are bloody fools
They stand on other people's toes
They break Queensbury's rules
They will not share a bit of bread
They don't respect the poor
They eat in fancy restaurants
And act like bloody boors

Because scum are only scum
They're ugly and they're daft
They know they're only scum
Without artistic craft
They're rotten stinking bleeders
Who all should get the shaft!
Yes, scum are rotten scum
They're rotten fecking scum
Let's sink them in the Channel
And provide no bloody raft!

Don't dare to come around near me
If you're a bleedin' scum
For if you do I'll take my shoe
And plant it in your bum!
You might think that I'm helpless
You'll find I'm bloody not!
I'll box your ears and black your eyes
You rotten scummy sot!

Because scum are only scum
They're ugly and they're daft
They know they're only scum
Without artistic craft
They're rotten stinking bleeders
Who all should get the shaft!
Yes, scum are rotten scum
They're rotten fecking scum
Let's sink them in the Channel
And provide no bloody raft!

I wish these rotten scum would die
And leave good folks alone
They poison every public place
'Cause they're got hearts of stone
Their lifestyle is contemptible
Their manners are obscene
They've all got little beady eyes
And their tongues are coated green!

Yes, scum are only scum
They're ugly and they're daft
They know they're only scum
Without artistic craft
They're rotten stinking bleeders
Who all should get the shaft!
Yes, scum are rotten scum
They're rotten fecking scum
Let's sink them in the Channel
And provide no bloody raft!

Howling Eddie Cranshaw, Folkways of East Anglia 2009

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Smokey.
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 10:05 PM

We aren't all like that, you know. Some of us were just born scum through no fault of our own. Frankly, I find your song highly offensive.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 10:07 PM

LOL! (the storm begins...)

You wouldn't say that, Smokey, if you were fully aware of how I have suffered at the hands of scum.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Smokey.
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 10:17 PM

That's nothing but pathetic, whimpering self pity, Little Hawk. I'm proud to be scum - my family hid behind King Harold at the battle of Hastings.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 10:22 PM

Why you rotten scum! I might have guessed as much. My ancestors perished heroically under the Norman lances while you vile scum were hiding in the bushes! I bet you wear plaid socks, don't you? Just admit it...

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Smokey.
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 10:23 PM

I've just eaten a kitten.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST,999
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 10:28 PM

I think the author of that song should be torn to pieces. At minimum, a hanging followed by both arms and both legs being tied to four horses which ride madly off in all directions. THEN, he should be punished, without mercy. After that, a public flogging. And if he doesn't relent, may he be dismissed and spurned by all and sundry.


Years back I wrote a 'protest' song that had the following lyrics:

Step down the air raid siren says
Don't walk in the rain
It's true they fought their battles
Where the graveyards remain
And now machine guns testify
That Hitler's back again
Washington you know his footsteps
What he's done is change his name
And perhaps go more insane

Mother Mary have forgiveness
The church has got you taking sides
Your son was killed for silver
It's the same when soldiers die
I refuse to sell myself
Into illicit enterprise
They sanction war with killers' pride
War's just murder undisguised

Traitors govern us
They're inventing
Lies to hide their vicious smiles
From Holy Mary
Representing
Every virgin with a child


Had a guy in NYC offer to fight me over likening the Pres of the US to Hitler. He didn't ask me twice because I said OK first time and then he didn't want to. Apropos of nothing.

The flogging should take place using at least six or seven strands of razor wire and lots of vinegar to throw on the author's back as the blood begins to flow. The beheading--did I mention that yet?--MUST take place in a public square so that we can get good pictures to show other songwriters what will happen to them if they dare express an opinion that doesn't jibe with the way WE see the world.

I am speaking on behalf of the SILENT MORAL MAJORITY.

I feel better now.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: olddude
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 10:29 PM

OMG   ... Little Hawk, even scum have mothers, even scum have souls
have you no heart man ... ya can't just generalize scum, some are by birth, some are made by smokin ... some find their own scum in the bathroom shower ...   some grows on ponds ... some are banjo players .... my gosh LOL

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Smokey.
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 10:33 PM

Now see what you've done, LH. Don't mess with lunatic scum. Tsk.. vinegar? What's wrong with paint stripper?

Anybody want half a kitten?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Smokey.
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 10:36 PM

Smokin', Old dude? I was BORN SCUM I'll have you know. I smoke BECAUSE I'm scum. You can't make character like this just with bad habits.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 10:38 PM

Well, well. I see that some disgruntled soul out there has written a song about my "dear" husband, Winston...

- PR

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST,999
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 10:38 PM

Which half?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Jeri
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 10:40 PM

They're rotten fecking scum
Let's sink them in the Channel

That just blew it all to hell, didn't it? I was sitting here getting into it (great tune) and then came this little paradox. Scum FLOATS. It's, you know, a defining characteristic of scum.

I feel so betrayed...

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 10:40 PM

True, Smokey. Character is born, not made. We Rutledges have always known that. One must never forget where one comes from.

* PR

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST,999
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 10:41 PM

No offense to anyone, but we all come from the GREAT ONENESS.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: olddude
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 10:43 PM

smokey I am a converted scum a work in progress, I had to work at it my friend, i envy those who got it by birth

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST,Howling Eddie Cranshaw
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 10:47 PM

Bloody 'ell, Jeri! Don't get all "literal" with me about me poetic symbology in me song lyrics. It's a song. I am not a fecking accountant! I deal in me'taphor and sub'tle allusion, I do, and that's why Billy Bragg studies all me work so closely. It's not loik I was writin' a bleedin' grocery list, you know. The kind of scum wot I'm referrin' to in me song does NOT float terribly well at all, and if they do, well...they bloody well float fyce DOWN! So there.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST,999
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 10:54 PM

Well, HEC, you picked the wrong place to post a song.

My family was also at the Battle of Hastings. In fact, one of my far-back ancestors told Harold to look out. Harold did. My Uncle Freddy--ninety-eight times removed is shown here--telling Harold to look out. The idiot looked out and see what happened?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Smokey.
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 10:56 PM

"Which half?"

It's kind of in bits, I'm afraid, I got a little excited.

Olddude, don't lose heart - we all have to work at it. I do try not to brag about my advantaged background - I'm sorry it might have looked that way. No I'm not.

Anyway, I'm off to blow dope smoke over the baby.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: olddude
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 11:01 PM

Floatin Fyce down, ah .. you are talking about Mississippi Billy Ray Bobbie lookin in the water for where the rev-e-newers threw the still. He is from a long line of shine scum. He rite the blues song, shine on shine on harvest scum

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 11:09 PM

I think it is only fair to point out that not all scum floats. Have you ever looked at the bottom of a pond or for that matter, the bottom of the Thames? And what do you find down there? Scum! An incredible amount of it too. If it floated, it wouldn't be on the bottom, now, would it? Ha! Got you there!

I rest my case. Most scum does not float.

In fact...only the aristocratic scum that can't get along with all the other common scum floats, and the aristocratic scum then hogs all the attention by floating to the top so that people think it's the only scum there is, but that's just not true! Common scum outnumber aristocratic scum by at least 10,000 to 1.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Effsee
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 11:11 PM

Oh this one will run and run!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: olddude
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 11:15 PM

I got scum growing on my wall
it don't bother me at all
smokin cigarettes and watching captain kangaroo
now don't tell me
Got nothing to do ...

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST,999
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 11:17 PM

Shouldn't the title be "Scum IS Scum". Sorry for the thread deviation. Let's get back to slagging the author of the song.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Jeri
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 11:22 PM

LH, that's not 'scum', that's 'slime'. The main way you can tell scum from slime is that SCUM FLOATS!.

(I keep hearing 'scum floats' to the tune of 'Love Hurts', but I don't have the attention span at the moment. Something like, 'Scum floats, it's true, that's what, scum do...' Could be a hit.)

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: olddude
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 11:29 PM

Forgot what I was going to say, was helping Smokey put shine in the baby's bottle. Only the good stuff, we are Not white trash kinda scum only regular scum

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: olddude
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 11:39 PM

YOU MAYBE REDNECK SCUM IF WHEN SMOKIN

A full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.

A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of improvement.

After making love, you ask your date to roll down the window.

After your dog passed gas, you claimed it.

All of your four-letter words are two syllables.

An expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.

Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash.

Bikers back down from your momma.

Birds are attracted to your beard.

Directions to your house include "turn off the paved road."

During your senior year you and your mother had home room together.

Every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.

Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jan 10 - 11:40 PM

You argue like a Republican corporate lawyer in the employ of the Rand Corporation, Jeri. ;-) Consider contacting Karl Rove. He needs people like you.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: katlaughing
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 12:04 AM

Haven't you ever wondered why there is a soap scum ring in your tub. Scum FLOATS, of course it does, even if the soap doesn't!

Out here we have the great horned scum-sucker. Its horn curls down in front of its face and functions much like an elephant's trunk. They are known for frequenting filthy ponds, swamps and swill-flinging bars of ill repute where they suck it all up without discretion. Where would we be without the scum-suckers? Awash, I say, awash in scum!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 12:18 AM

That's a disturbing thought, all right.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Smokey.
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 01:48 AM

No offense to anyone, but we all come from the GREAT ONENESS.

Sorry 999, if indeed that is your real name, but I couldn't let that pass. It's introducing bigotted rubbish like that which prevents sensible discussion around here. It was nothing but a deliberate attempt to detract from the issues in hand. Could we please stick to the subject of the thread? Honestly, it's like being in a playground sometimes.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST,999
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 01:51 AM

OK. I stand corrected. So, uh, how many pieces of kitten do you have left?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Dave Roberts
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 03:14 AM

I'm irresistibly drawn to this thread like a moth to a flame. Try as I might I can't stop looking at it.
Put it down to feeble-mindedness and not having a mind of one's own.
I'll bet there's a lot more to this song than we think.
Personally I like it, and think it's one of the best songs in the history of the universe, ever.
Probably it has the power to shape minds, to topple governments and to bring about Peace on Earth.
And it is in the tradition of all good Scum songs.
One thinks of 'Oh Scum All Ye Faithfull', 'Scum Into The Garden Maude' and, my personal favourite, 'Scummer Is A'scummin' In'.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Tim Leaning
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 06:16 AM

Hey this is blasphemous!
Scum are the chosen of the lord.
After all he is all knowing and he did send a flood .
Scum Floats.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Dave Roberts
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 06:58 AM

Sorry everyone. I've decided that this thread shouldn't be here. It's taking up valuable bandwidth which could more usefully be given over to discussing just how great Rambling Syd Rumpo was and deciding whether or not the word 'bodrhan' is too long and ought to be shortened.
Anyone who disagrees is sc...

...let's not go there.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Phil Edwards
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 08:13 AM

That reminds me...

I like most people - most people are OK
The average person is really not so bad
But among the people you meet along the way
There are always one or two who drive you mad

Whether they're talking in the cinema or yelling down the phone
Or telling you their life story when you'd rather be left alone
And I hate people who never open their mouth except to bitch and moan
I bet I'm not alone.

I like most people - except for hypocrites and snobs,
Tax inspectors and people from Personnel,
Conservative voters, and thugs and spivs and yobs -
Apart from that most people suit me well

Except for the ones who're always criticising and telling me what to do,
The ones whose every other sentence begins with the words If I were you
And I hate people who never buy a round and people who jump the queue
I bet you hate them too.

I like most people - though it's sometimes hard to do:
When you get to know them most people aren't that good.
I've got high standards - I'll lower them for you,
If you can give me one good reason why I should.

And I hate people who psychoanalyse and say they "understand" -
If it was up to me there wouldn't be a therapist in the land -
I just want half the world to leave me alone and the other half to be banned
Is that so much to demand?

I like most people - most people are really sweet...
It's just a shame about the ones I have to meet.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Charley Noble
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 08:44 AM

What a terrifying thread to access so ear-lye in the morning!

Sip of coffee spewed (spawed?) all over screen and keyboard.

Thanks a lot, gang.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: olddude
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 10:51 AM

I disagree Dave on the bandwidth, Howling Eddie Cranshaw is one of the great folk scum artists of the century so this does belong here in this music thread cause he sang his great classic Scum are Scum. No one did it better than the original artist. I remember once when Dolly tried to sing it, now as much as I admire Dolly it just wasn't the same.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: robomatic
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 10:57 AM

PENCIL NECK GEEK
(Pete Cicero / Martin Margulies)

Freddie Blassie



Back when I was a kid, life was going swell.
Till something happened, blew every thing to hell.
That night my daddy stumbled in, all pale and weak,
Said "A woman up the block just gave birth to a geek."

Mom said, "Sell it to the circus, what the heck."
Dad said, "Nope, this one's a pencil neck.
And if there's one thing lower than a side show freak,
It's a grit eatin', scum suckin', pencil neck geek."

You see if you take a pencil that won't hold lead,
Looks like a pipe cleaner attached to a head,
Add a buggy whip body with a brain that leaks,
You got yourself a grit eatin', pencil neck geek.

(chorus)
Pencil neck geek, grit eatin' freak,
scum suckin', pea head with a lousy physique.
He's a one man, no gut, loosing streak.
Nothin' but a pencil neck geek.

Soon the geeks were poppin' up all over town.   
You couldn't hardly sneeze without knockin' one down.
After a nice juicy steak, if you need a toothpick,
Just reach for a geek, they'll do the trick.

One day we cut one up for fish bait.
Learned our lesson just a little bit late.
Soon as the geek hit the drink, the water turned red.
Next day, sure enough, all the fish were dead.

chorus

Most any night you know where I can be found.
Yeah, stomping some geek's head into the ground.
So keep the faith 'cause in Blassie you can trust,
I won't give up 'til the last geek bites the dust.

chorus

They say, "these geeks come a dime a dozen."
I'm lookin' for the guy who's supplin' the dimes.
Its gonna be real hard times for all of these
grit eatin',
scum suckin',
boot lickin',
drop kickin',
gut grindin',
nail bitin',
glue sniffin',
scab pickin',
butt scratchin',
egg hatchin',
sleezy,
smelly,
pepper bellied,
dirty, lousy, rotten, stinkin', freaks.
Nothing but a pencil neck geek.

Pencil neck geek.
Pencil neck geek.
Pencil neck geek.



(And don't even get me started on mule skinners!)

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: olddude
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 11:20 AM

robo
sniff sniff, brought tears to me eyes. sooo beautiful sniff sniff

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Dave Roberts
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 11:38 AM

olddude,

On reflection, I think you're right. Scum is far too important an issue not to be discussed here.

Was it Howling Eddie who wrote that great song about the joy he felt when a parcel he'd been expecting finally arrived?

Now, what was it called?

Ah yes,

Scum.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 11:42 AM

That's an impressive lyric, allright. It's songs like these that bring folks together and lead us all toward establishing the sort of brotherhood on this planet that people like Pete Seeger have long pleaded for in song.

Yes, I feel new hope arising in my breast upon hearing that song. Either that...or it might be heartburn? Hmmm.

I specially like the bridge:

"grit eatin',
scum suckin',
boot lickin',
drop kickin',
gut grindin',
nail bitin',
glue sniffin',
scab pickin',
butt scratchin',
egg hatchin',
sleezy,
smelly,
pepper bellied,"

Very expressive and inspiring! Even Dylan would be impressed.

I wish, though, that it were a bit more...well...Cranshawesque. No one can say it quite like Howling Eddie can, in my opinion.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST,snoutcast
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 11:47 AM

She'll be scummin' round the mountain when she scums
Here comes the scum

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Dave Roberts
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 11:53 AM

And then there was the old 60s hit

'Scummy scummy scummy
I've got love in my tummy'.

It's amazing how many scum songs there are really.

In my day....

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 11:54 AM

Wise men say...
Only scum floats in...
And I can't help scumming around with you...

Shall I stay?
Would it be a sin?
If I can't help scumming around with you...

Like a gutter flows...
Surely to a bog...
Darling, so it goes...
We were meant to snog...

Take my hand...
No one else will do...
Cos I can't help scumming around with you...

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 11:59 AM

Excellent, Little Hawk!!!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Charley Noble
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 01:49 PM

Actually songs about scum have ancient folk song roots:

Scum is a-coming in,
Loudly sing, cuckoo!
Groweth seed and bloweth mead,
And springeth wood anew.
Sing, cuckoo!
Sing, cuckoo!
Sing, cuckoo!
Sing, cuckoo!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: katlaughing
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 02:00 PM

Then there's that old standard:

Scum where over the rainbow..btw, have you heard about the new Geo. Lucas film? Scum Wars!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Dave Roberts
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 02:18 PM

Little Hawk,

Excellent indeed, but can I suggest an alternative for the bridge part?

Like a gutter flows,
When you've had a pee,
Darling so it goes,
Scum things are meant to be...

Only a suggestion, you understand, but I think the phrase 'Scum things are meant to be..' resonates so much.

It could almost be a summing-up of the entire Philosophy Of Scum.

And I think it's what Elvis would have wanted.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Dave Roberts
Date: 04 Jan 10 - 02:53 PM

Damn! Almost missed one...

...'It could almost be a scumming up of the entire Philosophy Of Scum'.

Phew! That was close...

In my day...