Lyr Req: Unions Are a Woman's Best Friend (parody)

Subject: Parody Req: Unions(Diamonds) are a girls
From: Susan-Marie
Date: 27 Aug 99 - 09:07 AM

I thought a friend had these lyrics but she can't find them and I need them fast...

SOmeone wrote a parody of "Diamonds are a girl's best friend" called "unions are a girl's..." or "The union is a girl's..."

It has some great lines like "When a pat on the butt is what's called motivation..."

Anyone have the complete lyrics? I have looked at the other (non-folk) lyric sites, to no avail. Many Thanks.

Subject: Lyr Add: UNIONS ARE A WOMAN'S BEST FRIEND
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 31 Jan 12 - 01:11 PM

Notes and lyrics copied from Labor Notes, Feb. 1988, page 11:

Broadway may not have spawned much labor music, but it has given us some fine tunes that can be put to good use with a few creative adjustments. It's a pretty adaptable style since sheet music is usually readily available at libraries or music stores, and the melodies are already familiar to many people.

The Pipets, a 12-member employee singing group of the Harvard Union of Clerical and Technical Workers, put together this great parody of Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend for their organizing drive. Although it's written for a specific situation, the words can easily be generalized or adapted to your own work situation. (See, for example, a more generic version of the introduction at the end of the song.)

I first heard the Pipets sing this song at last summer's Great Labor Arts Ex- change in Washington, D.C., where their vampy rendition brought the overflow crowd to its feet.

The Pipets now have two fund-raising tapes-Unions Are a Woman's Best Friend, and Step By Step. Both are available for $6 by writing to HUCTW, 67 Winthrop St., Cambridge, MA 02138 or by calling [phone]. [This information may be out of date.]


UNIONS ARE A WOMAN'S BEST FRIEND

INTRO: Harvard University, the best college in the nation,
But those inside its ivy walls see naught but exploitation.

1. A pat on the head can be quite condescending.
Unions are a girl's best friend.
Prestige may be grand but it won't help you renting
An expensive flat
Or help you at the Laundromat.
The boss grows cold
When we grow bold
'Cause he knows that we're right in the end.
The things that we're seeking
Don't need his critiquing.
Unions are a girl's best friend.

2. There may come a time when a lass needs more money.
Unions are a girl's best friend.
There may come a time when your boss says "Hey honey,
Gee, you're awful nice."
But ask for dough and it's no dice.
It's no crime
To do comp time,
Skip your lunch, take his trousers to mend.
As long as those louses
Treat us like their spouses
Unions are a girl's best friend.

3. Three hundred fifty years of patriarchy,
Unions are a girl's best friend.
Now we say "Enough o this sexist malarkey!"
Harvard, you ain't poor,
So hear us roar, "We want some more!"
They can croon
The same old tune
Long as rules are so easy to bend.
But they'll croon a new one
When we have a union.
Unions are a woman's best friend!
- - -
Generic version of introduction:
Our office is quite up-to-date, the best in all the nation.
But those inside its gleaming walls see naught but exploitation.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Unions Are a Girl's Best Friend (parody)
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 31 Jan 12 - 11:01 PM

I love it!

Subject: Lyr Add: DIAMONDS ARE A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 29 Sep 15 - 02:23 PM

You can't fully appreciate the parody if you don't know the original:


DIAMONDS ARE A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND
Words and music by Jule Styne and Leo Robin; from "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes."
As sung by Carol Channing in the Broadway production, 1949.
Also sung by Marilyn Monroe in the film, 1953.

The French are glad to die for love.
They delight in fighting duels,
But I prefer a man who lives
And gives expensive jewels.

A kiss on the hand may be quite continental,
But diamonds are a girl's best friend.
A kiss may be grand but it won't pay the rental
On your humble flat
Or help you at the Automat.
Men grow cold
As girls grow old,
And we all lose our charms in the end,,
But square-cut or pear-shape,
These rocks don't lose their shape.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.

I've heard of affairs that are strictly platonic,
But diamonds are a girl's best friend;
And I think affairs that you must keep masonic
Are the better bets,
If little pets get big baguettes.
Time rolls on,
And youth is gone,
And you can't straighten up when you bend,
But stiff back or stiff knees,
You stand straight at Tiff'ny's.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.

There may come a time when a lass needs a lawyer,
But diamonds are a girl's best friend.
There may come a time when a hard-boiled employer
Thinks you're awful nice,
But get that ice or else no dice.
He's your guy
When stocks go high,
But beware when they start to descend.
It's then that those louses
Go back to their spouses.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.