Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow

Subject: Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 06 Apr 11 - 12:04 AM

Folklore tells us that "The Cow jumped over the Moon"

It has been disputed that cows CAN be rode (or ridden), or made to jump over barriers.

Has Luna undermined our Folklore?

Do you know any more songs about jumping cows?

Can you make one up?

Have you ever ridden a cow?

Can we exceed 400 posts on a dull topic without needing to abuse others?

Robin
Scribe of The Fooles Troupe
(This one is right in our league guys!)

Subject: RE: Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow
From: Charley Noble
Date: 06 Apr 11 - 09:17 AM

Udderly preposterous!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 06 Apr 11 - 06:45 PM

"Can we exceed 400 posts on a dull topic without needing to abuse others?"

2 posts - hmmm, maybe he is right ...

Subject: RE: Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 07 Apr 11 - 07:44 AM

Tolkein did a very nice rewrite, filling quiteb a bit of the back story.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 09 Apr 11 - 07:59 AM

He was right you know - you can sometime catch more flies with vinegar than honey.


Vinegar Flies ...

It does?


Better fly after it then....

Subject: RE: Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow
From: GUEST,999
Date: 09 Apr 11 - 08:13 AM

Post 391

We're getting close, TFT.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 09 Apr 11 - 08:39 AM

OK that's all very nice nonsense you've posted, but it is all irrelevant to 'folklore about cows' and related songs, especially about 'cows doing unusual things'. Keep up this gibberish and Joe will kick this thread into BS.

There is of course the song 'the Cow that ate the Piper'.

Any more?

Subject: RE: Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow
From: GUEST,999
Date: 09 Apr 11 - 09:03 AM

Politics made easy:

The Two Cows Philosophy

FEUDALISM:
You have two cows. The lord of the manor takes some of the milk. And all the cream.

PURE SOCIALISM:
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM:
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.

FASCISM:
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM:
You have two cows. Your neighbours help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM:
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

DICTATORSHIP:
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

MILITARISM:
You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY:
You have two cows. Your neighbours decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY:
You have two cows. Your neighbours pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY:
The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate". The cows are set free.

INDIAN DEMOCRACY:
You have two cows. You worship them.

BRITISH DEMOCRACY:
You have two cows. You feed them sheep brains and they go mad. The government gives you compensation for your diseased cows, compensation for your lost income, a grant not to use your fields for anything else. And tells the public not to worry.

BUREAUCRACY:
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

ANARCHY:
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to kill you and take the cows.

NEW AGE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You lay one off, force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when it drops dead.

HONG KONG CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly-listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute an debt/equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows.
The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Isands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the Feng Shui is bad.

ENVIRONMENTALISM:
You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.

TOTALITARIANISM:
You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS:
You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is an outdated symbol of your decadent, warmongering, intolerant past) two differently-aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender. They get married and adopt a calf.

COUNTER CULTURE:
Wow, dude, there's like ... these two cows, man. You got to have some of this milk.

SURREALISM:
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You sell one cow and put a down payment on a bull.


Most taken from

www.weirdity.com/jokes/two-cows.shtm

Subject: RE: Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow
From: GUEST,John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Apr 11 - 09:32 AM

It belongs in BS, os possibly CS, but it's eff all to do with folk lore.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow
From: GUEST,John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Apr 11 - 09:33 AM

Not even Folk Moosick

Subject: RE: Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 09 Apr 11 - 10:47 AM

Was it Keith Moon?

Subject: RE: Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow
From: EBarnacle
Date: 09 Apr 11 - 12:23 PM

This one made it onto the NPR radio show "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell me" as a question today. The respondent did not get it correct.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow
From: Crowhugger
Date: 09 Apr 11 - 01:59 PM

I'm waiting for the feature film starring Cher: Moostruck.

368 to go, Robin!

Subject: RE: Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow
From: Crowhugger
Date: 09 Apr 11 - 02:00 PM

Ooooo, that's no mere typo, that's a complete brain cramp--make that 386 to go!

Subject: RE: Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 09 Apr 11 - 06:59 PM

Thank you for your folklore relevant contributions.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow
From: GUEST,999
Date: 10 Apr 11 - 11:13 AM

Ya gotta see this!

Subject: RE: Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow
From: GUEST,999
Date: 10 Apr 11 - 11:26 AM

The picture linked below is the result of a zebra which when jumping over the moon met with an inter-dimensional vortex not unlike a black hole. The instant before it disappeared completely, Flonk Zebdopper snapped this amazing photograph.

Not a cow, but rather a zebra.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow
From: GUEST,999
Date: 10 Apr 11 - 11:55 AM

Plonk's pictoral explanation of why the cow didn't get to the moon. Notice that the cow was captured in mid jump and its trip cut short. Nature can be a harsh taskmistress. I should point out that Flonk also goes by the Plonk due to the fact I can't be arsed to change what I wrote in the blue clicky.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow
From: GUEST,999
Date: 10 Apr 11 - 12:21 PM

Incidentally, do not be fooled by people who tell you that the eagle has captured a fish. Not wanting to get into a 'grande imbroglio' with the North American Dairy and Beef Association, Glonk photo-shopped the cow out of the picture. Count on Clonk to make a wise decision.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow
From: Tootler
Date: 10 Apr 11 - 04:53 PM

Totally wrong!

the censor considered that a picture of a flying pig catching a cow was not politically correct so a picture of an eagle catching a fish was substituted.

Source: Illustrated Newspeak Dictionary, 1984 edition. Consolidated Orwell Press.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 10 Apr 11 - 06:05 PM

One song so far - and one children's rhyme - 'The cow jumped over the moon' - apparently the basis of all this popular folklore madness.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow
From: Gallus Moll
Date: 10 Apr 11 - 06:19 PM

There was a picture in the 'world news' section of the Glasgow Herald earlier this week (not the 1st April) showing a German teenager riding on a cow and in fact jumping it (over a fairly small hurdle); apparently the girl's parents had been unwilling or unable to buy her a pony, so she decided to train this cow!

Subject: RE: Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow
From: GUEST,999
Date: 10 Apr 11 - 06:34 PM

The following from    http://www.aurochs.org/cows/songs/

Hey Diddle Diddle
Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon,
The little dog laughed to see such fun
And the dish ran away with the spoon.

Old English Rune Poem
Each verse of the Old English Rune Poem begins with a letter of the Anglo-Saxon runic alphabet and describes what the rune stands for. The second verse (ur) concerns the aurochs:

Ur byþ anmod and oferhyrned
felafrecne deor feohteþ mid hornum
mære morstapa þæt is modig wuht

This translates as:

Aurochs is a courageous beast, having huge horns,
A savage beast, it fights with its horns,
A noble stalker of the moors, it is a fierce beast!

Tom Wulf provides the full text and English translation.

Purple Cow - by Gelett Burgess
I never saw a purple cow;
I never hope to see one;
but I can tell you anyhow;
I'd rather see than be one!

See Wikipedia for the history and context of this and the following poem.

Confession: and a Portrait Too, Upon a Background that I Rue - by Gelett Burgess
Ah, yes, I wrote the "Purple Cow".
I'm Sorry, now, I wrote it;
But I can tell you Anyhow
I'll Kill you if you Quote it!

The New Cow - by August Derleth
The new cow came through the gate,
And her calf came after, a little late.
No longer willing to be led,
The calf went on ahead,
While she stood to look around
Over the hills and lower ground
Stood shyly, defiantly there,
Smelling flower-fragrant air,
And gazed toward the old cows
Grouped on the way before.
Knowing not how she might stay
Among them, stranger still,
She hesitated yet, now they had turned
At the foot of the hill
And seemed to wait for her at the gate,
To wait for her who was strange and thin,
Til she came on,
And they opened their ranks
To take her in.

The Cow - by Robert Louis Stephenson
The friendly cow all red and white,
I love with all my heart:
She gives me cream with all her might,
To eat with apple-tart.

She wanders lowing here and there,
And yet she cannot stray,
All in the pleasant open air,
The pleasant light of day;

And blown by all the winds that pass
And wet with all the showers,
She walks among the meadow grass
And eats the meadow flowers.

the way to hump a cow is now - by e e cummings
the way to hump a cow is not
to get yourself a stool
but draw a line around the spot
and call it beautifool

to multiply because and why
dividing thens by nows
and adding and(i understand)
is hows to hump a cows

the way to hump a cow is not
to elevate your tool
but drop a penny in the slot
and bellow like a bool

to lay a wreath from ancient greath
on insulated brows
(while tossing boms at uncle toms
is hows to hump a cows

the way to hump a cow is not
to push and then to pull
but practicing the art of swot
to preach the golden rull

to vote for me(all decent mem
and wonens will allows
which if they don.t to hell with them)
is hows to hump a cows

Subject: RE: Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 11 Apr 11 - 01:50 AM

Gallus Moll

That is what prompted this thread.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 11 Apr 11 - 07:47 AM

THE INN             J.R.R.Tolkein

There is an inn, a merry old inn
Beneath an old grey hill,
And there they brew a beer so brown
That the Man in the Moon himself came down
One night to drink his fill.

The Ostler has a tipsy cat
That plays a five-stringed fiddle,
And up and down he runs his bow,
Now squeaking high, now purring low,
Now sawing in the middle.

The landlord keeps a little dog
That is mighty fond of jokes;
When there is good cheer among the guests
He cocks an ear at all the jests
And laughs until he chokes.

They also keep a horn-ed cow,
As proud as any queen;
But music turns her head like ale,
And makes her wave her tufted tail
And dance upon the green.

And O! the rows of silver dishes
And the store of silver spoons.
For Sunday there's a special pair,
And these they polish up with care
On Saturday afternoons.

The Man in the Moon was drinking deep,
The cat began to wail,
A dish and a spoon on the table danced,
The cow in the garden madly pranced,
And the little dog chased his tail.

The Man in the Moon took another mug,
Then rolled beneath his chair,
And there he dozed and dreamed of ale
Till in the shy the stars were pale
And dawn was in the air.

Then the Ostler said to his tipsy cat:
"The white horses of the Moon,
They neigh and champ their silver bits,
But their master's been and drowned his wits,
And the Sun'll be rising soon!"

So the cat on his fiddle played deedle-dum-diddle,
A jig that would wake the dead:
He squeaked and sawed and quickened the tune
While the Landlord shook the Man in the Moon:
"It's after three!" he said.

They rolled the man slowly up the hill
And bundled him into the Moon,
While his horses galloped up in rear,
And the cow came capering like a deer,
And a dish ran up with the spoon.

Now quicker the fiddle went deedle-dum-diddle,
The dog began to roar,
The cow and the horses stood on their heads;
The guests all bounded from their beds,
And danced upon the floor.

With a ping and a pong the fiddle-strings broke!
The cow jumped over the Moon.
The little dog laughed to see such fun,
And the Saturday dish went off at a run
With the silver Sunday spoon.

The round Moon rolled beneath the hill,
As the Sun raised up her head.
She hardly beliebed her fiery eyes,
For though it was day, to her surprise,
They all went back to bed!

Subject: RE: Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 11 Apr 11 - 11:22 PM

Thanks - that was fun while it lasted, as The Actress said to the Bishop.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow
From: Gallus Moll
Date: 12 Apr 11 - 05:58 PM

oops! silly me - shoulda looked at the link - jetlagged!!!

Subject: RE: Folklore: Luna - Show Jumping Cow
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 18 Apr 11 - 02:31 PM

I'm not long back from a long back from a long weekend in London (seeing the new granddaughter - she was a week old 55 minutes ago) and I grabbed the opportunity to visit the Joan Miro exhibition at the Tate Modern. One of the paintings on display is 'Dog Barking at the Moon, which I feel perectly encapsulates the essence of the song.