OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?

Subject: BS: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: gnu
Date: 15 Apr 11 - 03:29 PM

I don`t care.

Subject: RE: BS: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: saulgoldie
Date: 15 Apr 11 - 03:46 PM

Far better than no music. And this is positively haunting.

Saul

Subject: RE: BS: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: gnu
Date: 15 Apr 11 - 03:55 PM

Isn't it eh? I am gonna have me that one upon my demise.

What about youse guys? What would you pick for your last day above ground?

Subject: RE: BS: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: Little Robyn
Date: 15 Apr 11 - 04:59 PM

I want a recording of Aled Jones as a kid singing Pie Jesu.
Robyn

Subject: RE: BS: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: Little Robyn
Date: 15 Apr 11 - 05:02 PM

But after that I hope there would be a Northumbrian piper or two to play Rowan Tree and then some Morris dancers to dance me out. Black Joke maybe? Or Saturday Night On.
Robyn

Subject: RE: BS: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: Jack Campin
Date: 15 Apr 11 - 05:14 PM

The first minute and a half of that video is great, then it just turns into platitudinous rock music.

Subject: ADD: Farewell Party (Bob Gibson & Bob Connelly)
From: saulgoldie
Date: 15 Apr 11 - 05:22 PM

I want this one. I heard it played by the late, great Bob Gibson. But the site I found it on indicates John Denver as the author.

Saul

Damn the man that dares to let my farewell party die

FAREWELL PARTY
(Bob Gibson & Bob Connelly)

Don't want no tears shed for me when I'm gone,
Don't want nobody to sing no melancholy song,
Don't want your partin' words to become my eulogy ---
Just have a ragtime band to play when you say goodbye to me.

So keep that whiskey flowin', boys, and raise your glasses high,
I'm pleased to see you're here to say "Farewell" and not "Goodbye."
So keep that whiskey flowin', boys and raise your glasses high
And Damn the man that dares to let my farewell party die.

Don't want no organ music bringin' people down,
Don't want no long-faced mourners always hangin' 'round,
Don't want no candles, ah, but let the flowers stay ---
Girls can wear them in their hair when they see me on my way.

Roll the carpet back, my boys, and let the dancin' start,
Sing all the good old songs and don't forget my part.
Invite all the girls I've known and make sure they have fun ---
Hug and kiss 'em all for me like you know I would have done.

So keep that whiskey flowin', boys, and raise your glasses high,
I'm pleased to see you're here to say "Farewell" and not "Goodbye."
So keep that whiskey flowin', boys and raise your glasses high
And Damn the man that dares to let my farewell party die.

So keep that whiskey flowin', boys, and raise your glasses high,
I'm pleased to see you're here to say "Farewell" and not "Goodbye."
So keep that whiskey flowin', boys and raise your glasses high
And Damn the man that dares to let my farewell party die.

---

Note from Joe Offer: This thread indicates that the song is titled Farewell Party written by Bob Gibson & Bob Connelly. The Glenn Yarbrough Live at the Troubadour album confirms that the song "Farewell Party" was written by "Bob Gibson/Connelly." -Joe Offer, 12 July 2011-

Subject: RE: BS: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 15 Apr 11 - 05:57 PM

Think this would work?

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 15 Apr 11 - 06:04 PM

A better recording.....

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 15 Apr 11 - 06:10 PM

Gnu - I'm getting worried. With this and the other thread I guess I should be :-(

On the other hand - Yes. it's fine to play a recorded song. The maudlin ones are fine at the start but you need to finish on an upbeat.

My mate Dave (yes, a differnt Dave) had 'Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye' at his Mum's.

My Uncle Dennis had the theme from the great escape.

I quite fancy 'Yes, we have no bananas' and never expainling why...

Good luck

MP

Subject: RE: BS: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: Smokey.
Date: 15 Apr 11 - 06:53 PM

Elgar's 'Nimrod', and 'Jollity Farm' by the Bonzos at the end. Unfortunately the sound system in our crematorium is shite - although far preferable to the organist, who should really be taken out and shot, to save him the bus fare home.

Subject: RE: BS: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: gnu
Date: 15 Apr 11 - 08:03 PM

I was "toying", in a way, with the idea of a recording of me singing "Hangman Slack That Rope" sloooowly as they wheel me out to the hearse with the final line delivered just as they close the door on the hearse.

Of course, that would never come to be as I intend to donate my body to Dalhousie Medical School (Nova Scotia) and that would preclude such theatrics. It would be a great way to "leave em laughing" but Dal is a bargain and I have always been up for a good deal. They do their thing and three years later, at most, they pay to BBQ whatever is left and ship the results to who(m?)ever I designate. I was thinking I'd give them a false PO box so Canada Post would just keep me in the dead letter files forever.

Subject: RE: BS: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: gnu
Date: 15 Apr 11 - 08:16 PM

Hmmm... maybe some of you are not familiar with "Hangman Slack That Rope."

Sung in the form of an old, southern US spiritual, acapella, it's a song of denial from a man about to be hung who is eventually hung. And that is how the song ends, abruptly and rather grotesquely, to wit, I offer the last lines of the song...

Cause there ain't gonna be no hangin today,
Hangman slack that aaacccckkkkkk

Subject: RE: BS: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 16 Apr 11 - 09:56 AM

gnu: "Hmmm... maybe some of you are not familiar with "Hangman Slack That Rope."

Sung in the form of an old, southern US spiritual, acapella, it's a song of denial from a man about to be hung who is eventually hung. And that is how the song ends, abruptly and rather grotesquely, to wit, I offer the last lines of the song...

Cause there ain't gonna be no hangin today,
Hangman slack that aaacccckkkkkk "


Oh, I thought it was for if the guy was well hung!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: Will Fly
Date: 16 Apr 11 - 10:08 AM

Strangely enough, one of my YouTube videos has been requested - by complete strangers - as music for both weddings and funerals. No accounting for tastes. On all occasions, they've specified that they want my version of the tune - don't ask me why, but I'm obviously flattered by the dozens of requests. I just send 'em a free mp3 by email and wish 'em all the best - or commiserations (you work out which for what). And the tune?

Daisy Bell

Folks is strange...

Subject: RE: BS: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 16 Apr 11 - 10:26 AM

Will. Nice guitar...what is it?

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: Will Fly
Date: 16 Apr 11 - 10:33 AM

It's my Martin XC1T, which I still record with. It had a Fishman Ellipse p/up system in it in those days, which was not particularly reliable, so I swapped it out for a Baggs iBeam. But I always record these things acoustically now, and save the amplified sound for some band gigs.

:-)

Subject: RE: BS: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: Bobert
Date: 16 Apr 11 - 02:51 PM

Heck yeah, it's okay...

When my wife Judy was dieing she asked me to write a song to be played at her funeral... I wrote and recorded a song entitled "Dancing with the Angels" that I know I could not have performed live because of the emotions...

It was played and worked just they way she would have wanted it to work...

BTW, even though she asked me to write and play the song at her funeral she also told me that she didn't want to hear it so she died having never heard it...

That was her request...

But, yeah, in certain circumstances, it's appropriate...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: frogprince
Date: 16 Apr 11 - 03:15 PM

We were present at a funeral a couple of years ago when a nephew of the deceased brought a boombox to the internment and played "Spirit In The Sky" fairly loud, per request of the deceased. I didn't hear any complaints.

Subject: RE: BS: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 16 Apr 11 - 04:54 PM

I don't believe in recorded music at funerals or weddings. It doesn't matter if the singing or playing quality isn't great, authenticity is more important.

Subject: RE: BS: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: GUEST,Suibhne Astray
Date: 16 Apr 11 - 05:12 PM

The last funeral I was at was tha of a fellow singer and they played a recording of her to accompany a sequence of slides from her life - very moving, and a lovely singer too.

We were listening to JK singing What's the Life of Man today on our travels; now there's a fine song for a athiest / humanist funeral with a smattering of folkies amonst the guests.

I have a different song for my funeral every week - last week it was Joey Ramone singing Wonderful World (short and sweet) right now it's Starsip Trooper by Yes (not so short but I played it the other day and my 13-year-old inner self wept like a baby).

*

The worst instance of recorded music in church I ever heard was when my wife's parish priest insisted on playing REM's Everybody Hurts during Holy Communion.

Another great funeral song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXhD1dDSVj4

Subject: RE: BS: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 16 Apr 11 - 07:26 PM

Thanx, Will. I did not recognize it, nor, I may not have seen that model. How do you like it?...as compared to others?

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: Janie
Date: 16 Apr 11 - 08:29 PM

Dad wanted Annie and me to sing Bill Staines "Sweet Winds Blowing" at his memorial service. We told him we knew we would not be able to get past the first note. Toyed with the idea of recording it in advance, but in the end, three of the people in the very good country/folk band that plays at his church's early worship did it - guitar, recorder and upright bass. It was lovely.

Would have been ok, imho, for us to have recorded the song in advance and played it, if that is what Dad had ultimately wanted, but I'm glad he chose otherwise. I don't personally care for recorded music when there is a live option, but that is merely a personal preference. I don't think there is a right or wrong to it.

Nice song, btw gnu, and thanks for turning me on to that group.

Subject: RE: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Apr 11 - 10:32 PM

My sister recently did this at my Dad's funeral, it drove me nuts! They had slide pictures on a computer monitor... and a country song played in loop mode..... for hours on end- same song, that was HER idea of what Dad was but no one elses.

I thought it was kind of tacky- but said nothing- there was enough grieving going on. I have been told that funerals are for the living more than the dead anyway- so whatever someone chooses to do at a funeral I guess everyone should have to adapt- why embarrass each other or start a fight- that is not why we attend funerals, right?

I am sure funeral directors see everything of course (good or bad)-I have a friend who is one btw, he did my Dad's service and I wouldn't want his job either btw- despite the money.

Families can be a pain in the butt. Why fight whatever happens- no matter how distasteful it might seem.

Dewaine

Subject: RE: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 17 Apr 11 - 12:30 PM

They can play my own stuff for my own funeral!..That would work!

GfS

Subject: RE: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: nager
Date: 18 Apr 11 - 05:11 AM

I would love to have a recording of Charles Penrose singing The Laughing Policeman.

Subject: RE: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: Rob Naylor
Date: 18 Apr 11 - 08:15 PM

I want Ewan MacColl's "Joy of Living", Fairport's "Meet on The Ledge" and British Sea Power's "True Adventures" at mine. Preferably played live by mates, but recordings would be OK too as long as the sound system was up to it.

Subject: RE: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 18 Apr 11 - 08:39 PM

Guest from sanity: I have been at funerals where they have played the music of the deceased: quite a surreal feeling about it!
My father died on Christmas Day 2010, and we had "Crossing the Bar" sung by Craig, Morgan and Robson from their CD "Stranded" at the end of the church service: my father had been in the Navy, so the nautical imagery was very appropriate, and the singing was haunting, albeit recorded.

Subject: RE: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: Amergin
Date: 18 Apr 11 - 09:50 PM

A few years or so back, there was Sergeant Andrew Farrar, a soldier from Massachusetts was killed in action. He had written home that he wanted the Dropkick Murphys version of Fields of Athenry played at his funeral if the worst occurred, but he got one ten times better. The band got wind of it, and played it live at his funeral for free. At the time, there were only three copies made of their cover. One was buried with him, one given to his wife, and the last was given to his parents.

Subject: RE: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 19 Apr 11 - 02:31 AM

The trouble is, the song people want played at funerals, is Sinatra's "My Way." Most churches I know of, won't allow it. They may tolerate other recordings, but not THAT one. My pastor had loud rock playing in church before the funeral of a motorcycle rider - but there's a self-centeredness in the Sinatra song that runs counter to the thinking of most churches.

-Joe-

Subject: RE: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 19 Apr 11 - 02:45 AM

"I want Ewan MacColl's "Joy of Living"
MacColl's own recording of 'Joy of Living' was played at his own funeral - powerful!
It has become a very popular one for funerals in Britain and Ireland, though usually sung live (if that's the word for a funeral).
It was sung by Bob Blair at collector Tom Munnelly's non-religious celebration, along with a recording of Frank Proffitt's 'Goin' Across the Mountain'.
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: Rob Naylor
Date: 19 Apr 11 - 04:02 AM

It's particularly appropriate for me, Jim, as I'm a climber/ mountaineer and know well all the places mentioned in the song.

I wasn't aware that it had become popular at funerals (maybe I'm not going to enough...yet!). I'm hoping my mate Paul will sing it as he's 15 years younger than me and therefore likely to outlive me :-)

Subject: RE: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: GUEST,Chris B
Date: 19 Apr 11 - 04:27 AM

However be aware that the Church has to be licensed to play music and there are copyright considerations. We paid dearly for my Mum's funeral at St Mary de Haura Church, Shoreham-by-Sea, Shoreham-by-Sea. She had a cassette of Sarah Brightman singing "Time To Say Goodbye" that she'd played incessantly whilst ill in the months before. And she wanted that played at her funeral. The words were printed out in the 'order of service.' Unfortunaly my brother had left the cassette in London, and so the night before he had to drive up and back to collect it. When the time came for the song there was an expectant and emotional hush, the silence was fully 5 minutes or more long with emabarrassed looks from all especially the vicar. No-one moved, no-one even coughed. Eventually the vicar simply read out the words. Afterwards we were told that the person operating the cassette player did not know how to press the 'play' button. But we suspect that it was because the Church didn't want to break copyright, or wasn't licensed for playing music. And we still got charged for the full service - very expensive event a funeral. At the crematorium the organist did at least attempt to play the tune - but it wan't the same.

Subject: RE: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Feb 12 - 09:15 PM

John Denver was a giant, but I wrote THE FARREWELL PARTY WITH Bob Gibson. Bob Connelly

Subject: RE: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: GUEST,999
Date: 14 Feb 12 - 09:23 PM

I liked Bob Gibson both as a person, singer and a guitarist/writer.

Subject: RE: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: Bobert
Date: 14 Feb 12 - 09:34 PM

By all means!!!

When my late wife, Judy, knew that she was dieing she asked me to write a song to be played at her funeral...

I wrote a song entitled "Dancing with the Angels" and recorded it in my makeshift studio...

I told her that I had written the song and asked her if she wanted to hear it... She didn't... She just wanted it played at her funeral...

Obviously, it would have been very difficult for me to perform this song "live" at her funeral so the recorded version was played...

It was what she wanted... Under the circumstances, it was the best I (and she could have expected) could do...

B~

Subject: RE: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: PHJim
Date: 15 Feb 12 - 01:14 AM

At my brother Dave's funeral there was live music, but a recording of Dave playing and singing was also used in the service.

Subject: RE: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: GUEST,Graham Bradshaw
Date: 15 Feb 12 - 06:55 AM

Nice to read "nager"'s comment earlier.
Charles Penrose singing 'The Laughing Policeman' is exactly what we played at my dad's funeral. He used to love it, and the best thing was seeing all the smiling faces - much better than sadness.

Subject: RE: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: PHJim
Date: 15 Feb 12 - 08:11 AM

Joe,
Although Frank's is the most famous version of My Way, it is Paul Anka's song.

Subject: RE: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: PHJim
Date: 15 Feb 12 - 08:24 AM

I saw a movie about a comedian, played I think by Dick Van Dyke, which ended with his funeral and "Yes We Have No Bananas" was the song being played.

Subject: RE: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Feb 12 - 10:48 AM

At my brother's memorial, I sang Land o the Leal and Taps ( though the Air Force funeral team had a bugle with built in recording ) and it was a struggle to get through it - I had made a CD of the songs as a backup, that I was able to not need.

Just the other week, I participated at a American Legion benefit jamboree when we learned that a long time member had just died the day before, so I volunteered to sing Taps during the small tribute they had for him. Two nights later I got a phone call requesting me to sing Taps again at the request of the widow - but could not be there in person, so I made a CD that I gave the Legion to use if they wanted - which they did.

Funerals, wakes & memorials are for the living... it's the way people deal with death and mortality, shaped by their culture. There is no right or wrong - only what is acceptable.

I never met the deceased Legion member.... but I grew up in a family that all belonged to our local Legion Hall and the deceased was the same age as my dad & fought in the same war. I was paying my respect to an American veteran who had well earned it. As were his fellow members who thought the world of him and truely mourned his passing.

Subject: RE: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: mg
Date: 15 Feb 12 - 11:06 AM

Maybe when we are done with other projects we can make a cd of songs suitable for funerals, with no copyright problems etc. I can not imagine having to pay a copyright to play one song at a funeral but that is what we have come to...and as for churches not allowing someone's favorite song, unless it is totally obscene or racist or whatever..that says a lot about the church. And don't get me going about the Catholic churches that won't allow Danny Boy to be sung at the funerals of these old Irish or Irish American men who were the pillars of the church and had only one last request. mg

Subject: RE: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: pavane
Date: 15 Feb 12 - 12:53 PM

Mrs Pavane played a recording of her own singing at her mother's funeral last year - no problems and some nice comments "Wind beneath my wings" I think it was.

Subject: RE: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: Will Fly
Date: 15 Feb 12 - 02:19 PM

When I go, there will be no church and no formal ceremony and no crematorium and no speeches. A wicker or cardboard or plywood box will do to hold me. Clayton Wood (a natural burial ground in Sussex) will see me deposited near a tree with possibly a wooden tablet saying "Here lies an old git", which will not be renewed when it rots. And those of my mates who are left can play some music around the spot - or down the pub - or both, as they see fit.

And I will leave enough cash for a few pints of Harveys.

Subject: RE: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: HWinWindies
Date: 15 Feb 12 - 02:28 PM

Go on mg get going about the Catholic Church and we will join in.
As far as being licenced venues would not all churches etc need an entertainment licence for the singing, or are they exempt?
Harry

Subject: RE: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 15 Feb 12 - 06:03 PM

I rather fancy having my own version of "I'm awfully Well For the Shape That I'm In"

As they say; "Always leave 'em laughing when you go"

Don T.

Subject: RE: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: PHJim
Date: 15 Feb 12 - 10:08 PM

The Comic - funeral song

Here's a link to a review of the movie I mentioned before, The Comic, starring Dick Van Dyke. Not only do they play Yes, We Have No Banamas, the preacher conducting the service gets a pie in the face.

Subject: RE: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: Gurney
Date: 15 Feb 12 - 10:14 PM

At a friend's funeral, her husband chose Phil Coulter's 'Sea of Tranquility' CD, folk songs played on piano, for gathering music, and the old jazz standard 'Going to the Glory Land' as the coffin slid away.

Subject: RE: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: Ebbie
Date: 16 Feb 12 - 12:04 AM

When my brother died, at his memorial service my sister in law chose a recording of 'I'll Meet You in the Morning" that he and I had done a year or more before.

I'll meet you in the morning with a how do you do
And we'll sit down by the river and with rapture old acquaintance renew
You'll know me (in the morning) by the smile that I wear
When I meet you in the morning in that city that's built four-square...

Subject: RE: OK to play a recorded song at a funeral?
From: Peter the Squeezer
Date: 16 Feb 12 - 05:07 AM

I went to a funeral last autumn, and the theme from Last of the Summer Wine was played as we entered the chapel. Unexpectedly very moving.