Why shouldn't you marry a musician?

Subject: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 04:50 PM

My dad always told me never marry a musician. I have a few ideas why, but I might as well ask the Mudcatters and get to the source of this issue.

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: MMario
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 04:56 PM

it's very hard to get a visa to musica.

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Barbara Shaw
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 05:22 PM

My husband and I would both be interested in the answer, since neither of us took the advice.

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: SeanM
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 05:28 PM

Well, I would think that the obvious reason for not marrying a folk musician would be the 'possum fetish...

M

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Marion
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 06:06 PM

It's because musicians are all so damn attractive that other people will be trying to steal him/her all your life.

Marion

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: sophocleese
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 06:12 PM

They'll never dance with you as they're always playing instead.

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 06:27 PM

Thank you Marion.

Rick

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Les B
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 07:20 PM

Because "Stringed instruments are the Devil's playground" a quote from an early Bishop ?

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Harvey Gerst
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 08:27 PM

10 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Marry a Musician:

10: They'll automatically lose their "homeless" status. 9: Bring in a new guitar while wearing a sheer nighty and guess which one they'll look at first? 8: A savings bond will mature much faster. 7: You'll always end up in front of the PA speakers. 6: Every girl singer is a potential threat to you. 5: They'll ask for your honest opinion, then ignore it. 4: They'll make you carry some of their instruments. 3: They often have an MTV mind in a PBS world. 2: Because your mother is usually right about this stuff.

And the #1 reason why you shouldn't marry a musician:

They'll still keep introducing you as a girl friend to all their friends (if they introduce you at all).

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: harpgirl
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 11:22 PM

...yes sweetie, your father is correct! If a musician comes knocking on your door...pay him, take your pizza, and shut the door!

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: WyoWoman
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 11:32 PM

What do they call a musician without a girlfriend?

Yup. Homeless.

But seriously, folks, I've known some musicians who were serious, hard-working people who were faithful to their mates and devoted to their craft. It's often a very difficult financial path, if one is trying to make one's living that way, and a frustrating creative one if one always has to work a day gig.

Unfortunately, the stereotype also has a great deal of validity and there are plenty of musicians who are rounders and philanderers and bums by most societal standards. It's important to make sure you're hooking up with the former rather than the latter.

Best wishes from she who ought to know,

WW

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Mudjack
Date: 01 Oct 99 - 11:33 PM

My wife did'nt marry a musician, she married me.Oh...she bought me a guitar for my 30th birthday and then the musicianship began. Don't look at me , she created the monster.
Mudjack

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: alison
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 03:43 AM

I'd have no one to baby sit if he had to go and and do gigs too!!!

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Andy
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 06:57 AM

Perhaps I shouldn't smile but this is great - been there seen it done it Must design a tee shirt ! - it's hard - but it can work - Can't it ?

A XX

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Morgie
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 08:35 AM

I think the warning against marrying musicians must only apply if you are not musically inclined....musicians have a habit of playing at all hours of day or night. A musician will also rather buy a new instrument than food..not to mention that if they're an all-around musician, they will attempt to learn every new instrument they can find, and you will have to listen to them play. And *no* musician has an innate sense of responsibility! It's incompatible with choosing to be a musician! Not that this is a *Bad* thing, musicians definitely make the best mates. You just have to be a certain kind of person to enjoy it.

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: WyoWoman
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 07:15 PM

Certainly the best lovers...

;-}

ww

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: poet
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 08:14 PM


I have no doubt that my wife could give you a thousand reasons.
Her Birthday dinner and a gig I forgot to mention.
Christmas eve/day, no she doesn,t want to take take the kids to a gig.
New years eve,Huh when were you(me) last home on New years eve.1971 dearest, NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

You sing the same lousy song over and over,
I've got to learn it dearest and I cant read the Dots.


Neophyte a musician of either sex is never at home when there partner thinks they should be. so perhaps your question should read why should musicians be allowed to marry normal people.


Graham (Guernsey)

PS. I love my wife and she must really love me because I am a pain to live with because of my music.

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 08:19 PM

Why should a musician want to marry when he/she is already in love with the guitar, banjo or whatever?

Jon

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 08:22 PM

My lead-guitar player's wife might say that if you don't mind having a living room filled with guitars, drums and amps instead of furniture, and if you don't mind clearing away about 30 beer bottles everytime he practices, and if you don't mind responding (every time you're asked how the band sounds) "sounds great but you need to turn down!", and if you like spending your Saturday nights in bars... it can be a match made in heaven. My wife wouldn't know about musicians... I'm a harmonica player and singer.

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Barbara Shaw
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 09:00 PM

I feel very fortunate to be a musician married to a musician. We are both beset with the same "disease" and have each other to play with at any crazy hour wherever we are. We are really lucky to be able to start a jam on our own, make music together at the spur of the moment, talk each other into just this one more fine instrument, etc.

There are also the benefits of having a common interest and a great musical bond that inspires both of us. Many couples wish they had a leisure activity they both enjoyed. We have it. We're blessed by the bond and also by the music.

So, my advice would be to those married to a musician: consider taking up an instrument yourself. It's never too late. It's great for the togetherness and it's also a joy for yourself alone.

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Barbara Shaw
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 09:03 PM

After reading my previous posting over, I realize it's so gooey that many of you must be just puking over the treacle. However, that's my story and I'm sticking to it ...

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 10:12 PM

Wyo, I've known you to be charming here at the cat, but until your last post, I had no idea how perceptive you were.

Rick

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Dennis
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 10:18 PM

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Dennis
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 10:21 PM

A musician was asked what he would do if he won the lottery. He replied that he would just keep working till it was all done. Thats a good reason, cos we never seem to be able to make any money at it, and when we do there is always that new guitar, PA, Mike stand, mike etc that we just cannot do without.

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: emily rain
Date: 02 Oct 99 - 11:01 PM

no kiddin' wyo. you just sent a shiver up my spine. yum.

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: WyoWoman
Date: 03 Oct 99 - 02:11 AM

AbsoFOCKinlootley.

ww

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Melodeon
Date: 03 Oct 99 - 02:07 PM

Yes! Wyo woman.... But another reason for not marrying a musician is that your children may inherit that ability, then you will be the only one at the dinner table who has NO idea what they are talking about (on the odd ocassion that you have a meal together)

Melodeon

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Ely
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 01:14 PM

(I'm new here) I don't think I'd have any choice BUT to marry a musician. I'm always listening to, dancing to, or playing music (my biggest failing as a college roommate!). Besides, I'm addicted to acoustic blues, old-time, and bluegrass, where there doesn't seem to be much middle ground--he has to love it or he'll surely hate it, and we'd never spend any time together. --ely

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Magpie
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 01:48 PM

Why, just imagine the two of you between the sheets, you're doing your damdest to please him, he moans "Oh God! How I love that!" you think you've really done it-

only to realize it's the background music he's commenting on.

OUCH!!!

Magpie

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Barbara
Date: 04 Oct 99 - 01:57 PM

The third verse here gives a pretty good list of the reasons (not to mention the reasons in the other verses and choruses)
Blessings
Barbara

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: TheMuse
Date: 17 Oct 99 - 09:45 PM

I'm catching up here with this thread - with my particular musician I see it as a package deal. Him, music and all that involves. I may not have the talent but I have the ability to appreciate his and I do. Why shouldn't you marry a musician? Why WOULDN'T you? If it's right, it's right.

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 17 Oct 99 - 10:24 PM

Good point Muse
Little Neo

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: DonMeixner
Date: 17 Oct 99 - 10:54 PM

Hi Muse,

:-)

Don

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 13 Jan 11 - 01:45 PM

Well you certainly wouldn't want to marry a musician if he or she was on the Fiddle!

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: lefthanded guitar
Date: 13 Jan 11 - 03:14 PM

The photo of a barechested Sting and his wife on the cover of today's NY Post may be warning enough.

Or if not warning, then enticement.

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: GUEST,Grishka
Date: 13 Jan 11 - 04:55 PM

The following aperçu is attributed to Jean Sibelius, here quoted from my memory: If you want to converse about music, you must do it with a bank employee; musicians only talk about money.

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: GUEST,Grishka
Date: 15 Jan 11 - 04:28 PM

Wikiquote gives us the following version as a direct translation from a source in Swedish, Sibelius' mother tongue:

It is so difficult to mix with artists! You must choose business men to talk to, because artists only talk of money.

Sibelius was of course referring to himself, who wanted to converse about music, and, being a professional musician himself, was an exception to his rule.

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Taconicus
Date: 15 Jan 11 - 11:20 PM

Because...

Q: What's the difference between a large pizza and a folk musician?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: GUEST,Desi C
Date: 16 Jan 11 - 08:10 AM

Probably because you'd have too much fun, too much good company and true friends, learn the real meaning of life, and miss out on the dreary 9 to 5 existence of drudgery, abusive partners, badly brought up kids, and all that goes with it. Hope that answers your question ;)

yours, A musician

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 16 Jan 11 - 09:13 AM

"Why shouldn't you marry a musician"
Can't think of a reason, unless he/she is a bodhran player - but they aren't real musicians anyway
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Vic Smith
Date: 16 Jan 11 - 09:21 AM

Why shouldn't you marry a musician?

YouTube has the answer to that question:-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SURma5PlfGs

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Vic Smith
Date: 16 Jan 11 - 09:30 AM

Not all musicians are poor, you know. In fact, I know exactly how to end up with a million pounds just from playing traditional music...

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Vic Smith
Date: 16 Jan 11 - 09:30 AM

... you start off with two million pounds,

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: GUEST,Roger Knowles
Date: 16 Jan 11 - 01:49 PM

I married one, and so did my wife. It's lasted 46 years, seems ok so far....

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Don Firth
Date: 16 Jan 11 - 02:21 PM

I play guitar and sing and I do a great deal of writing. My wife is a writer and she plays keyboards and sings.

Seems to work out pretty well. . . .

Don Firth

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: GUEST,Ad
Date: 05 Mar 12 - 09:36 PM

Because they love themselves first not you... Not your kids. Because they are in bars all the time and thinks there so hot because drunk girls are falling all over them. Because they think they are great in bed but when you see them play, they are making the same stupid face. Oh gross, they are in love with themselves. They are skinny asses with nothing going on.....anywhere if you know what I mean. Married to one for 20 years. Never once spoke to me about a gig before it was booked. Stupid, selfish and generally broke. Blame the world because they can't make money. Bad tippers. Think the world owes them something because their lame asses became somewhat proficient at learning an instrument. Oh please, if people who actually function in the world took up an instrument, we would kick their lame asses. Unless the person you want to marry is at the top of their craft, forget it and I married one who had real record deals.

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: michaelr
Date: 05 Mar 12 - 11:31 PM

"...they think they are great in bed but when you see them play, they are making the same stupid face."

Oops... I'm sorry my bliss is showing... you could always keep your eyes closed. Not every face you make is pretty, either, you know?

When I was little, I told my Dad, "When I grow up, I want to be a musician!"

Dad answered, "I'm sorry, son. You can't do both."

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 06 Mar 12 - 04:42 PM

Why should ya marry anyone at all? Who says ya got to? I been single all my life, and I ain't complainin'.

Anyways, if ya think marryin' a musician is a bad deal, ya should try marryin' a gorilla! :-D Ook! Ook!

- Chongo

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: GUEST
Date: 06 Mar 12 - 05:26 PM

"Because they love themselves first not you..."

Perfectly reasonable given the type of person you seem to be.

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: John P
Date: 06 Mar 12 - 10:01 PM

How dreadful it would be if musicians were all alike. Then we could make up dumb stereotypes about them.

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Janie
Date: 06 Mar 12 - 10:01 PM

Sorry you had such a bad experience, Ad, but don't confuse personality with musicianship.

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: gnu
Date: 06 Mar 12 - 10:30 PM

" Dad answered, "I'm sorry, son. You can't do both." "

Hahahhahahaa.

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: GUEST,LMH
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 06:53 AM

I read almost all the pasts and there's a little bit of truth in almost all of them. I met my husband when I was in the Air Force and he was playing in a bar in Great Falls, Montana. That was 34 years ago. It was really tough. The first 5 years were the worst. My husband has a lot of insecurities and masks them behind his bass guitar. However, before he married me he told me he'd quit the road and get a job. He did and has been a fantastic provider ever since. I so appreciate that about him. But when he plays he is always tempted by drugs, alcohol and women. Bars are not family or marriage family places. My husband almost ended up an alcoholic at one point early on and when you're drunk and in a place that is filled with people with loose morals it is not a good mix. So there was infidelity too. And drugs. But thankfully, when we were separated and heading for divorce, I became a Christian and God miracuously reconciled us and I am happy for it as my husband (and I) have really changed and grown. Musicians can be very selfish - if they're into drugs, drinking and women - all addicts are selfish and immature? But not all musicians are addicts - some restrain themselves and keep clean - but it's hard when temptation is always knocking at the door. I think it's more about the 'wanting to escape into another world where everybody likes you, respects you and admires you because in the 'real' world you're really nobody special - that causes most of the problems. Like everyone else, musicians have a void that only God can fill. When we realize this we don't have to work so hard at proving to the world that we are a somebody.

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: GUEST,Tony Rath aka Tonyteach
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 07:06 AM

I do not get this myth of musicians as babe magnets. Being a lifelong ugly bastard playing guitar - singing - piano - bass etc does not pull the laydeez. I am a realist so being a steady provider is the thing.

It is ironic that late in life ie 50 and 60s my face which is indeed capable of stopping clocks at some distance has made me quite substantial sums as villain or assorted thugs in movies and TV I have played Captain Bligh - been the ugliest mermaid you can imagine and also been a troll (without makeup) and a number of pimps - thugs and villains

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 07:35 AM

Sorry about all the typos - I reread my post and was, like, how did that happen lol. It's too early in the morning I guess! Anyway - just one other thing - I really like the post from the wife who encourages other non-playing wives to take up an instrument and join her husband so that both have something in common. Every husband and wife should do things together that they both enjoy. Unfortunately for me I am so void of musical talent that I don't think it would be possible, but we did take up biking and kayaking together and we also enjoy long rides in the country. Fortunately my husband loves nature like I do. A good book for any couple to read is: "Strike the Original Match" by Charles Swindoll. Even musicians want good/better marriages!

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: John P
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 10:25 AM

Why is this thread about musicians? Why isn't it about narcissistic assholes who don't know how to be in relationships? There's been nothing said in this thread about musicians. Sure, a lot of musicians are jerks, but so are many school teachers, police officers, garbage collectors, and grocery store clerks. I'm tired of the stereotype of the clueless musician. It causes folks to make untrue assumptions about many fine people.

If you don't like narcissists, don't hang out with them. Please don't confuse it with whether or not they are also musicians.

Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
From: Musket
Date: 03 Apr 12 - 11:27 AM

Because every time you have a row or argument, he / she will write a song about it and we will know about your problems...