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Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort

frogprince 15 Dec 15 - 09:37 PM
Janie 15 Dec 15 - 07:22 PM
ChanteyLass 15 Dec 15 - 06:38 PM
ChanteyLass 15 Dec 15 - 06:32 PM
Janie 15 Dec 15 - 06:25 PM
gnu 15 Dec 15 - 04:29 AM
ranger1 14 Dec 15 - 10:49 PM
ranger1 14 Dec 15 - 10:44 PM
Janie 14 Dec 15 - 09:47 PM
Nigel Paterson 13 Dec 15 - 01:44 AM
ChanteyLass 12 Dec 15 - 09:29 PM
ranger1 12 Dec 15 - 02:04 PM
Sandra in Sydney 12 Dec 15 - 09:18 AM
Nigel Paterson 12 Dec 15 - 03:37 AM
GUEST,Pete from seven stars link 11 Dec 15 - 06:06 PM
ranger1 11 Dec 15 - 01:47 PM
Donuel 11 Dec 15 - 01:35 PM
Donuel 11 Dec 15 - 01:33 PM
frogprince 10 Dec 15 - 07:59 PM
ranger1 10 Dec 15 - 07:29 PM
GUEST,Pete from seven stars link 10 Dec 15 - 02:34 PM
Nigel Paterson 10 Dec 15 - 12:37 PM
Janie 09 Dec 15 - 06:40 PM
GUEST,Pete from seven stars link 09 Dec 15 - 12:52 PM
frogprince 09 Dec 15 - 11:41 AM
ranger1 09 Dec 15 - 11:35 AM
gnu 09 Dec 15 - 05:37 AM
Nigel Paterson 09 Dec 15 - 05:34 AM
ranger1 08 Dec 15 - 09:06 PM
ChanteyLass 08 Dec 15 - 06:22 PM
maeve 08 Dec 15 - 08:17 AM
Nigel Paterson 08 Dec 15 - 07:01 AM
Sandra in Sydney 06 Dec 15 - 05:52 PM
maeve 06 Dec 15 - 09:45 AM
ranger1 04 Dec 15 - 01:50 PM
GUEST,pete from seven stars link 04 Dec 15 - 01:03 PM
ranger1 03 Dec 15 - 12:52 PM
GUEST,Peter from seven stars link 03 Dec 15 - 12:26 PM
gnu 03 Dec 15 - 05:34 AM
billybob 02 Dec 15 - 10:51 AM
Janie 01 Dec 15 - 08:43 PM
ranger1 01 Dec 15 - 12:36 PM
gnu 01 Dec 15 - 06:49 AM
GUEST,Pete from seven stars link 01 Dec 15 - 02:17 AM
ranger1 30 Nov 15 - 02:03 PM
ChanteyLass 28 Nov 15 - 03:57 PM
gnu 28 Nov 15 - 06:24 AM
maeve 27 Nov 15 - 06:40 AM
Nigel Paterson 26 Nov 15 - 12:58 PM
frogprince 26 Nov 15 - 10:21 AM
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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: frogprince
Date: 15 Dec 15 - 09:37 PM

Have y'all looked at the calendar recently?


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Janie
Date: 15 Dec 15 - 07:22 PM

For Chantylass and all. One Rose/Hot Buttered Rum


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 15 Dec 15 - 06:38 PM

Excuse my blank post! I meant to hit Home but hit Submit instead! Anyway, I'm still hanging around and enjoying the music. I'm anxiously awaiting Solstice and hoping more sunlight will give me more energy! I hope it perks up everyone else, too!


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 15 Dec 15 - 06:32 PM


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Janie
Date: 15 Dec 15 - 06:25 PM

I just ran across Huron Carol for the first time a few days ago on youtube. Lovely song!


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 15 Dec 15 - 04:29 AM

Still checking in regularly. Not much to add.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ranger1
Date: 14 Dec 15 - 10:49 PM

Oops! More tired than I realized. Wrong song, and certainly NOT Harry Belafonte! So enjoy a song from a different cultural tradition and then go listen to Harry.

That Harry Belafonte Christmas album was a childhood favorite, my gramma had it, and we used to listen to it together while making Christmas cookies.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ranger1
Date: 14 Dec 15 - 10:44 PM

Janie, I, too, love the old songs of the season, regardless of origin. So I'll see your Bruce Cockburn and raise you a Harry Belafonte.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Janie
Date: 14 Dec 15 - 09:47 PM

Rise up.

I've been reading but not posting. Sending good thoughts and thinking I need to head to the galley to put on a pot of tea and maybe bake a batch of (USA) biscuits to serve up with your choice of any combination of butter, molasses, honey, apple butter or a good blueberry jam. Have been wrapped up in my own non-potentially lethal trials and tribulations.

Self centered enough that I will probably continue to be a bit of a slacker for awhile in terms of posting my thoughts of encouragement and empathy. But fwiw, do know that whether I post or not, I check in nearly daily, and pull silently on an oar, or situate a chair around the stove in the galley.

Whatever you celebrate during this almost worldwide northern hemisphere season of festival to help sustain us as the hardest time of winter approaches, what we all share here, and what brought us to this particular virtural community is music. I'm a cultural christian and will always love the old songs and love when the old ways meet the new, and when cultures cross. Hope this brings a lift to hearts. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syS9wU1Sr8A


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 13 Dec 15 - 01:44 AM

Donuel, both you & Tim are in my thoughts at what must be a stressful time. I trust that Tim will be well cared for, leading to a successful outcome.

Sandra, the incident with the doctor was a fair few years ago when making a complaint was next to impossible. Nowadays, the NHS has procedures in place that make complaining about a doctor's improprieties far easier & quicker, plus one has the assurance that something will (usually!) be 'done'.
                               With Love,
                                              Nigel xxxxx


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 12 Dec 15 - 09:29 PM

Tami, if you do put your gran's interview on Storycorps, please post a link to it.

Nigel, I'm glad to see the good news about Jane's melanoma.

Donuel, I hope your son's medical procedure goes well. Let us know!


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ranger1
Date: 12 Dec 15 - 02:04 PM

Thank you all. I wish I had a day to just curl up and be. But unfortunately, I have to work.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 12 Dec 15 - 09:18 AM

Nigel - did you or anyone else make a complaint to the Doctor's professional association for that most inappropriate (to put it mildly) comment??

sending good wished to Donuel & his family & to Tami & hers.

sandra


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 12 Dec 15 - 03:37 AM

"I needed to come home, but I still feel guilty." Tami, you most certainly DID need to come home...to rest, to be in your own space & gather your energy to support your Mother & Grandmother. Your Uncle has taken hold of the reins for the moment, so cast that guilt aside. We humans are not 'engineered' to carry the burden imposed by guilt. Guilt is the equivalent of an emotional terrorist...it will rob you of the very energy you need to care...it will make you miserable & it can make you ill. You didn't ask for it, you don't need it & you have done nothing deserving of it's insidious presence. I speak from personal experience. When my first, late Wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, a doctor blamed me for contributing to her condition because I hadn't been ".....an attentive enough husband". The guilt I felt crippled me mentally & physically...lasted for years & necessitated frequent psychiatric interventions. I'm sorry if this all sounds over-dramatic, but I know how hurtful & destructive guilt can be. Take good care on your extensive, caring, guilt-free travels,
                                                                                        With Love,
                                                                                                          Nigel xxxxx


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: GUEST,Pete from seven stars link
Date: 11 Dec 15 - 06:06 PM

Certainly sounds like caring for tiny tim is full of challenges and frustrations, Donuel. Posted with a prayer               Ranger 1 I would say that a 150 mile trip every week is quite a commitment. Please don't let unwarranted guilt get you.    Blessings all.    Pete.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ranger1
Date: 11 Dec 15 - 01:47 PM

Sending wishes for a good outcome for Tim.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Dec 15 - 01:35 PM

(we do not call him tiny Tim but for mudcat purposes we can)


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Dec 15 - 01:33 PM

This weekend we undertake a medical procedure on our 15 year old we call tiny Tim because he is. Nurses and the doctor will be on call for this procedure that our oldest son had at age 12 that took 8 days in the hospital. It cured him to this day but this procedure is no longer covered by insurance since it has been newly deemed by insurance companies as being observational and elective.

As for Tim he has had 3 major challenges in his life and they have all been political/religious related. At birth we had paid for the freezing his stem umbilical cells but it was canceled at the last minute because of a executive decision of the Catholic board members that very week. Second he was expelled from kindergarten because we could not prove his vaccine record due to the pediatric hard drive crash that took 45 days to reconstruct. And now this. If we could afford a Mercedes we could afford this procedure in the hospital out of pocket but we can't without pulling his brother out of college.

Still we are thankful Tim has not suffered sepsis or dangerous weight loss but has been out of school all this year. His misery is profound but he should have a complete recovery except for all the joie d'vivre he has missed for years.

This holiday may be the first he may be able to enjoy this decade.
He hates hugs but at least soon they will not be painful.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: frogprince
Date: 10 Dec 15 - 07:59 PM

The world needs a pill for all the people who do all they can in their circumstances, but feel guilty 'cause they can't cure everything. Guilty is a feeling that often doesn't want to behave reasonably.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ranger1
Date: 10 Dec 15 - 07:29 PM

Giving thanks for your news, Nigel.

My grandmother was having a bad day today, the day I had to come home. My mum is worn to a frazzle, and I felt so bad about leaving. My uncle has been spending more time helping mum, and he was there when I left, and that let mum get out for a bit. Just to do the shopping, but it was time to herself, which she desperately needed.

I called work and let them know I need three days off in a row so I can continue to make the 150 mile trip to my grandmother's once a week. They are flexible, and were happy I could come home and work my shift tomorrow.

I needed to come home, but I still feel guilty.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: GUEST,Pete from seven stars link
Date: 10 Dec 15 - 02:34 PM

That is indeed encouraging news Nigel .    Blessings.          Pete.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 10 Dec 15 - 12:37 PM

At Last, something positive & uplifting. Ann has been battling for the last ten years with breast cancer & a malignant melanoma. Yesterday, we saw her breast oncologist & she's been given the all clear & discharged...can't tell you what a relief that was. The melanoma was removed some time ago, but the nature of the beast dictates that Ann will have to continue with three-monthly checkups for the foreseeable future. She is symptom-free, but with a melanoma, you can't turn your back for a second. Grief & cancer is a pretty toxic mix, but following her discharge yesterday, her mood is noticeably lighter. Every little helps...every one aboard The Rainbow helps too. What would we do without you?
                               Much Love to You All,
                                                                  Nigel & Ann xxxxx


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Janie
Date: 09 Dec 15 - 06:40 PM

What Dean said.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: GUEST,Pete from seven stars link
Date: 09 Dec 15 - 12:52 PM

Felt so sad, Nigel, to hear that ann is still heavily compacted with grief . I am sure your "constancy" will be a great benefit to Ann. With a prayer for the easing of a broken heart.       Pete.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: frogprince
Date: 09 Dec 15 - 11:41 AM

Nigel, another couple of hearts are going out to you and Anne from here in Michigan.

R1, sounds like some sweet, rich, experience.

          Dean


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ranger1
Date: 09 Dec 15 - 11:35 AM

I've spent the morning entertaining Gramma with videos on my laptop. There is a video of a song by Slaid Cleaves' song "Below" that was of special interest to her. The song was written about the damming of the Dead River in Maine and subsequent flooding of a town called Flagstaff. My grandmother's family was from that area, and she lived in Flagstaff as a young child. The maker of the video used photos from the Dead River Historical Society. Gramma recognized a couple of people in the photos, one of them being a cousin.

We also watched a bunch of silly animated videos titled "What if animals were round?" and a video by a wildlife photographer about meerkats.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 09 Dec 15 - 05:37 AM

I echo the others, Nigel. "All I have to offer is my constancy." Take what solace you can in your own understanding of just that, as difficult as it is to do.

r1... glad to hear it went well.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 09 Dec 15 - 05:34 AM

Thank you, thank you, thank you. It is fascinating that you mention 'working with her hands'. Ann has made greetings cards for years. You should see her work room...a veritable Aladdin's Cave that would set any Crafter's head spinning! She knits too...without these skills I can't imagine how her life would be. The card making & knitting provides a valuable distraction, but more akin to a sticking plaster in the grand scheme of things. We have a wonderful GP who is gently & compassionately 'on the case'. I found bereavement counselling extremely helpful & was fortunate to be allowed an extension to the number of sessions usually granted (Eight sessions would be an average entitlement under the NHS). I shall be spending increasing amounts of time searching for a: ".... mosquito to faithfully annoy us into opening up safely".
       Much Love to our Friends Maeve, ChanteyLass & Tami,
                                                                                                 Nigel & Ann xxxxx


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ranger1
Date: 08 Dec 15 - 09:06 PM

I have no words for you, Nigel, just a great big long distance hug for you and Anne.

Sitting here in the kitchen at my grandmother's. My cousin and I bumped up the interview to today. I think it went well, she didn't want to be filmed, so we just did audio recording. By the second question, she's forgotten we were recording, and she told us at the end that she's had fun doing it and that we had brought up several memories for her that she had forgotten about. Sean took the recording home with him and will edit and/or clean up if necessary. We're thinking about submitting it to Storycorps if it came out well.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 08 Dec 15 - 06:22 PM

All of Maeve's suggestions sound reasonable and worth pursuing. The one about working with hands reminded me of Rhode Island's Ann Hood's book Comfort which recounts the sudden unexpected death of her daughter Grace. Learning to knit helped bring her out of the depths of her grief. Of course she also had the support of a good husband, a son who was a few years older than Grace, wonderful friends who stayed with her through her sorrow, and counseling.

I hope you and Ann can find the help she needs.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 08 Dec 15 - 08:17 AM

Nigel, I am so sorry for your and Ann's pain, yet am equally confident your already strong hearts will each heal grow in compassion and forgiveness. Death ends what we know of a person, yet our love carries on.

Ann may need a different form of counseling. She may need a different leader or group. She may need counseling based on behavioral changes. She may need something to do with her hands- something to allow her to just Be without words until she can afford to verbally process her feelings-clay, paint, needlework, something to pummel- whatever her body can use for expression, for our bodies often know what is needed before our minds can fathom what has happened.

We each have to find our way through grief in our own timing and manner, but sometimes we need guidance in finding additional help. Sometimes we need a mosquito to faithfully annoy us into opening up safely.

You too, as her faithful support and companion who is also hurting, may benefit from the right continued outside guidance as well as seeking your music and writing. :)

Love,
Maeve


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 08 Dec 15 - 07:01 AM

I last posted on 26th November. I am deeply grateful to all of you who continue to post...to offer comfort & support...to raise a smile...to simply make yourself available...to keep Jane's Rainbow ship-shape. I have been doing what I can to support my Dearest Ann. Her grief remains raw. Her heart is broken. Bereavement counselling has proved ineffective. I listen to her most nights as she talks in her sleep, saying what probably needs to be expressed out loud; something she finds impossible to do. I fear she may carry her grief & pain for the rest of her days. All I have to offer is my constancy.
                                    With Love to You All,
                                                                     Nigel xxxxx


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 06 Dec 15 - 05:52 PM

very fresh!


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 06 Dec 15 - 09:45 AM

refresh...


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ranger1
Date: 04 Dec 15 - 01:50 PM

No, the way the post was worded did make it sound that way. I just wanted you to know that our Janie is safe so you wouldn't worry about her.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: GUEST,pete from seven stars link
Date: 04 Dec 15 - 01:03 PM

thanks, maybe I misread the post.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ranger1
Date: 03 Dec 15 - 12:52 PM

Pete, the shootings were in California, and Janie lives in North Carolina. Janie is safe.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: GUEST,Peter from seven stars link
Date: 03 Dec 15 - 12:26 PM

Good to hear Wendy. And well deserved,.      Susan(wysiwyg). Referenced Jamie in another thread relating to the recent shootings. Hope all is well for her and anyone she knows.       Blessings.    Pete.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 03 Dec 15 - 05:34 AM

Glad to hear the good news, Janie and Wendy.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: billybob
Date: 02 Dec 15 - 10:51 AM

Sending love to all the above, flying home late Thursday. We have had THE most amazing two weeks with Billys wonderful family, had too buy two extra bags for all the gifts!Even the weather has been kind,sitting on the beach at Cape May last Saturday. Going home stronger and happier than we both can remember,
Love you USA
With love to all the crew
Wendy and Billy
Xxxxxxxxxx


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Janie
Date: 01 Dec 15 - 08:43 PM

That is a great idea, Tami. Wish my grandparents would have allowed that. We tried, but all Pawpaw would consent to be recorded was him praying for us for 45 minutes. That was not what we were seeking, but still a precious recording.

Ahhh, SPB. Thank you for inviting the crew to add wind to the sails of your love, care and concern to speed it across the land and sea to those you hold dear and to offer what solace we can.

Turned 64 a few days ago. Instead of losing hair, I am gaining hair. And healthier hair. From what folks say, the enforced rest and attention to better nutrition as the result of the accident has been good for my appearance, and presumably, my health. Having more dreams of being two legged again. Start serious outpatient physical therapy tomorrow. Rarely need pain meds, and even then, only occasionally at night.

I'll paraphrase something I posted on Facebook - Was annoyed to bite into a seeded grape at breakfast, having not paid close attention to the signs in the produce section. Then felt grateful that my life is such that biting into a seeded grape is something about which to feel annoyed.

My life is, and always has been, so incredibly rich. Part of that richness is owed to Mudcat and in particular, this stalwart crew.

To echo Frogprince. Thankful for all of you.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ranger1
Date: 01 Dec 15 - 12:36 PM

My cousin Sean and I are going to try to do a Storycorps-style interview with my grandmother before she passes. I've sent out messages to the other grandkids asking for questions/stories they'd like to find out about. So far, everyone's on board. We'll try for on camera, but if Gramma's not up to it, we'll just go for voice recording.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 01 Dec 15 - 06:49 AM

Enjoyed all the game and all the posts at FB, r1.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: GUEST,Pete from seven stars link
Date: 01 Dec 15 - 02:17 AM

Lovely anecdote of a lovely thought, ranger 1.    Blessings all.       Pete.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ranger1
Date: 30 Nov 15 - 02:03 PM

On a day when I desperately needed a laugh, UPS delivered an anonymous package from Amazon.

I've been live trapping deer mice for the last month or so and had been having fun with it on Facebook, posting little mouse mugshots, naming them, and detailing their personalities. I even started a "guess how many mice Tami catches" game with my friends. Someone with a sense of humor sent me a field mouse finger puppet. I had a suspect in mind, and with a little detective work, I confirmed my suspicions.

I give thanks for friends who know when I need a pick-me-up, and how to do it.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 28 Nov 15 - 03:57 PM

SPB, I'm sending hugs to your partner and you. That's all I can do.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 28 Nov 15 - 06:24 AM

Agreed.


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 27 Nov 15 - 06:40 AM

SPB- "I feel I cannot do enough to help apart from being available on the phone every evening." But you are doing what you can do, and that's important to your partner. Losing a loved parent is hard. My condolences.

That's a part of what has made this favorite thread function successfully. We have tried to be consistently available for one another. I'm thankful we are here together.

Maeve


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 26 Nov 15 - 12:58 PM

Wishing my Family in America & my loyal & true American Friends a very Happy Thanksgiving. The World feels restless...I hope you all find peace within the bosom of your Family as you gather around the dinner table.
                                                   With Love,
                                                                   Nigel & Ann xxxxx


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Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: frogprince
Date: 26 Nov 15 - 10:21 AM

Thanks, today, for this whole supportive crew. We'll be taking off in a bit to get the father-in-law and take him to his (unfortunately now deceased) girlfriend's granddaughter's home for today's people-stuffing observance.

          Dean


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