Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 10 Jul 16 - 09:36 PM

Thank you, Donuel.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: frogprince
Date: 10 Jul 16 - 08:47 PM

It's quite a story, Donuel, but not very credible, as I can just barely swim at all.

      Dean.
(Forgive me that, but there's something about reading a story when the protagonist shares your name). : )

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Jul 16 - 05:05 PM

It has since been edited for errors.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Jul 16 - 04:51 PM

Here is a story I wrote for my agoraphobic son to find in the printer:
   

                                    
            Crossing the dark river of self loathing

Standing above the river bank trail we see the distant opposite shore and nearby islands in the currents. Beyond is the rest of the larger future unknown world. When we were small we learned to swim in still waters but the river keeps on rolling along.

Perhaps a boat or raft would be best but who knows how to build them. Most people travel to eventually pass over a toll bridge far away but we all don't have the money or the time to work and save for passage, while some risk punishment by stealing across .

Many people just wander the trail on this side of the river and some are seen sadly clinging to debris or tree that aimlessly drifts down the river where only a few are rescued. When the desperate isolation equals the risks and fears of the river, the journey begins.

Unseen beneath the water at the river's edge is silt that acts exactly like quicksand to those who rely upon the bottom instead of floating over the danger. Dean got stuck up to his knees in the silt but instead of pushing his feet deeper into the muck he waited nearly a full day to gently float out of the trap millimeter by millimeter.

Older but wiser the next hot summer's day the water felt soothingly cool as Dean set out again. Young, good looking with long dark blonde hair, Dean had bound some reeds together for safety and aimed for the island allowing for the current to pull him far to the right. After briefly paddling with his arms, friendly clouds shielded him from the hot sun but he became doubtful if he would reach the island where he thought he would. He started paddling almost against the current, but that only worsened his angle.

He hated that his calculation was so far off. Now the river looked dark and the island too far away. Paddling even harder with the current still let the island drift to his left. Tired full of doubt and increasing tension he started swimming harder. The island was definitely out of reach when a sand bar he had never seen was now beneath him and connected to the island only slightly under the water. Dean walked fifty meters to safety to see what the rest of the crossing looked like.

Blueberry bushes, bright red raspberries and wild roses hugged the shore and began to sway as a wind picked up. Odd things were caught midway up some of the trees. A board with a round hole in it, wicker furniture and maybe clothes. Further in the shade hid a flooded out shack. Reaching the far side of the island Dean studied the far river bank, four times farther away than he had imagined.


Still mid morning it was decision time, should I spend the night or go for it before it gets dark, Dean wondered. He hated he had been so wrong about the distance.
Hungry, he made a big lunch of blueberries despite the scratches and punctures from vines of thorns and took a nap. When he woke there was a wind and the sky was a little darker. The bound reeds he used were now useless limp and soaked.
He needed something that would float. Back in the trees Dean looked up for anything that would float. There it was, what could be better than a bag of corks he could tie around his chest. "I'm going for it ".

At the water's edge the river felt warm this time as specks of rain surprised Dean.
This time he kicked and stroked one arm at a time through the now black water.
He thought, I wish I had left sooner or not taken a nap or eaten so many berries.
There were waves now that caused him to swallow water. Memories surfaced of his parents urging him to follow everyone else to the distant bridge and pay whatever was asked. Bandits were said to attack travelers on the trail for the toll money they needed. A leg cramp, and Dean feeling nauseous nearly stopped. Why was I so stupid to think I could cross here, the island still looked close compared to the far river bank outlined in a thread of white. No denying the storm had arrived. Dean felt half blind from the splashing rain and waves as the river felt faster deeper and stronger. Dean felt the bump and rolled completely underwater. I should have seen that log, stupid stupid ! What made me think I could do this? Sure others have done it but who am I. Maybe I could just drift and eventually hit the shore, but Dean had seen others give up. Even his dad had given up. Dean kept swimming as he began to feel heavy in the choppy water. A hole in the bag of corks had lost half of its contents. WHY DID I NOT CHECK? Dean was resigned to realizing how serious this crossing had become. Anger turned inward and sapped his strength. Rubbing his eyes he could not recognize anything racing by on shore. He rested a bit and started swimming more vigorously than he knew he could. He felt something with his foot, it was the silt. Knowing better now he floated and bobbed over the danger and grabbed branches that reached into the water. Weighing what felt like a ton, Dean pulled himself up the slippery bank gasping for air as he reached a road.

There he laid back for only a minute when he heard a wagon approaching. He then saw two men well dressed that might be authorities but Dean couldn't be sure.
When he sat up the men both saw him.
"you there, are you from across the river?"
The other man just glared through the rain.
Breathlessly Dean said "I crossed the river twice".
Oh I see, well please go ahead sir.
The other man's face turned into a smile and asked "Do you want a ride? Newtown is just two miles ahead".
Dean smiled for the first time in a long time and said "Thank you Yes".
Relaxed now Dean knew there would be more rivers, borders and cultures to cross.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 16 - 10:49 PM

Yes, a gin and tonic or a Tom Collins would be nice and refreshing.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: keberoxu
Date: 09 Jul 16 - 06:15 PM

refresh

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Jul 16 - 03:28 PM

Rap, speaking of eyesight the doc says mine has improved 50 %.
Objectively maybe only 25%. Healing happens even with degenerative conditions. Even to degenerates!

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 16 - 10:21 AM

Joe, back in 2006 my in-laws visited us here in The Wild West for a couple of weeks. They returned home and that evening my FIL was taken to the hospital unconscious.

He never recovered from that coma. But he'd seen Yellowstone and the Tetons again and visited with his daughter while doing so. We were in MOAB (Utah, not MC) when The Call came. A month in a coma, and then burial in Arlington, Area 64, grave 4720. My MIL is there as well.

But you got to talk with him, chat with him, share your plans. Bill got to visit us.

Yes, I understand.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Joe Offer
Date: 06 Jul 16 - 08:48 PM

It's nice to read through these posts again. My dad died the day before Father's Day, and now we're in Switzerland, hiking in view of the Matterhorn. I'm glad my dad died while I was home and able to talk with him on the phone during his last days. He enjoyed hearing us talk about our plans for this trip, and I'm glad we can take this trip without regrets.
Thank you all for your kind words.
Joe

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 16 - 09:27 AM

She is recovering, but impatiently. Our just-concluded trip to Waterton-Glacier International Peace Park was something we last did 34 years ago, and she was right in the middle of everything. Eventually she may have a reconstruction, but I suspect that just as soon as her schedule allows she'll have cataract surgery (I'm seeing better than she is now, and she used to be the "eagle eye."

My left ring finger, the one operated on, hurts when I bend or use it. I am doing the exercises assigned and have a massage therapist work on the sub-surface adhesions.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Pete from seven stars link
Date: 05 Jul 16 - 10:48 AM

Amen maeve !

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 04 Jul 16 - 05:37 PM

Friends, it is this dissonance within us that Paul spoke of in Romans 7.
Believers or not, you both speak of behavior patterns so common to us all. You are not alone.

Maeve

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: keberoxu
Date: 04 Jul 16 - 05:24 PM

Nigel, just one other thought:
You mention "Behavior that has been repeated over many years." You have my sympathies about that category of behavior. For me, too, the deepest humiliation is the recognition of behavior that I have sought to improve or alter, certain that I could--and ought--to do better, and to find that its repetition is a fact of life. In this you are far from alone. There is the challenge: to be at war deep inside, or to make peace with oneself. Thanks, all, for listening.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Pete from seven stars link
Date: 04 Jul 16 - 08:02 AM

Ah memories , so sad and so sweet at the same time.       Blessings.    Pete.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: keberoxu
Date: 02 Jul 16 - 08:32 PM

Ach, your imperial Rap-ness, it never ends for you. Hope your better half is recovering well?

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 01 Jul 16 - 08:54 PM

Rap, keep us informed about your right knee.

Gnu, thanks for sharing your screenshot. What a memory! Tears are fine--just keep a hanky handy.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Janie
Date: 01 Jul 16 - 08:01 PM

We sail along, all of us, on the seas of life.

There is a paradox involved. A dialectic.

Arms around you, gnu, Nigel and Ann.

Arms around all of you who post or read here, and grateful to know your arms are around me.

Janie

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 01 Jul 16 - 06:16 PM

August 10th! That's the first day of lobster season on the coast nearest me. Oh dear. I shall delay sending you any lobster in case the surgeon fucks up and you pass. Can't waste any Northumberland Straight lobster, eh?

To my nephew just now.

Heard it in Mum's voice when I called her at 8:30. I call her every morning at the same time. There are certain days when I kinda know it's gonna be a bad day. Well, July 1 is one. I went over to clean sinks and mop and such as I couldn't take her out to the stores for a walk as usual and I knew she could "use some company" today. After I was done... well, tears flowed.

But, it's 8 years now and I have dealt with it, to some extent, through writing short stories and visiting his grave every year with a bottle and "having a chat". I have a fair few short stories. I share none. Sometimes, I will share a snippet, as I did today in a forum that has given me some joy and solace since I stopped hunting.

I thought of sharing this with you but I was hesitant. Then I thought... WTF? Share it with some friends and 16k+ strangers? Why not share it with Ian?

So, I screenshot my posts. They are attached. Unless I gotta send them one at a time... ???... I am still technologically declined. Nope looks like I got the whole post.

Hope all is well with you and yours.

Here is the text in the screenshots... no pics attached to this post...

I call this pic "Time for a Smoke". On this day in 2008, Bro left. He was an RCAF Airman. He was unconscious for days before he left. Near a week after they took all the tubes out. He wasn't supposed to last as long as he did. Mum said, "A true Airman... he waited for Canada Day to die."

The pic. Long story that I won't try to look up. Here's a short version. To the right of the pic hangs a nice buck on the back of my truck camper. We celebrated with beers. After several beers, tired from the 'deer work', Bro fell asleep. Not long before he fell asleep, having had a couple of beers, he was in that mood he used to get in. He had his semi 308 beside his chair and he, without me knowing, put a mag in, set the butt on the road with the gun straight up and waited until I was standing about six feet away with my back to him. WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM!!!!!! I near pissed myself. I took to swearing at him (and continued while I was pissing) and he just kept laughing.

And, then... he fell asleep. I took a smoke out of his package of smokes. I lit it and puffed on it. Then I put it between his fingers. I took a picture... and then I waited. You do the math.
I did not laugh. That would have escalated things. >;-)

Miss ya, Bro. RIP.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 16 - 12:58 PM

Prayers on the way!

Just found out that I probably have a replacement on my right knee on August 10. @&$$@@!!!!

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 16 - 12:58 PM

Prayers on the way!

Just found out that I probably have a replacement on my right knee on August 10. @&$$@@!!!!

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 01 Jul 16 - 12:23 PM

I echo the comments of the past several days. Just... 'me too'.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 01 Jul 16 - 03:23 AM

every now & then I pop in ...

sending good wishes & hugs

love from sandra

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 30 Jun 16 - 10:09 PM

Nigel, I'll pray for Ann, of course. I'm sorry that she is sailing in troubled waters at the moment.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Pete from seven stars link
Date: 30 Jun 16 - 06:52 PM

Wishing you and Ann the very best , with a prayer.    Pete.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 Jun 16 - 05:23 PM

Sometimes not knowing is the worst. Hang in there.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: frogprince
Date: 30 Jun 16 - 11:44 AM

Nigel, will be keeping you and Ann in heart and mind.

             Dean

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 30 Jun 16 - 10:58 AM

I've been trying to post since 22nd June...finally made it. I'm most grateful to Maeve, ChanteyLass, Pete & Keberoxu for your comments. Pete, you have hit the proverbial nail on the head. I felt a great sense of duty & obligation which proved increasingly difficult to maintain with the passage of time. After much reflection, I return, not as the thread instigator, but as Nigel seeking your succour, wisdom & experience.
         My wife, Ann is recovering well from a shoulder reconstruction, but her time in hospital has uncovered two, unrelated conditions, one of which is potentially life-threatening, given her medical history. We await the results of further tests & investigations, so until we know the results, any further comments would be speculative at best. My very first post was a 'cri de cœur'...I'm back where I started,
                                                    With Love,
                                                                   Nigel xxxxx

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: keberoxu
Date: 26 Jun 16 - 04:03 PM

This resource is greater than any one person, regardless of those who got the whole thing started. It only has sense that those who first contributed towards the needs of others will themselves experience shortcomings, will disappoint themselves, and will feel humbled amongst other feelings. What better place to be helped in return?

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 26 Jun 16 - 03:26 PM

Aloft!

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Pete from seven stars link
Date: 23 Jun 16 - 06:26 PM

This is a resource began by you , Nigel , when you felt in need of comfort and encouragement, and frequently offered the same to all of the crew. What it is not, is a duty or obligation , and if any of us goes ashore or on sick leave ,there are others to man the rainbow. And if any feel adrift others are throwing out a line. Wishing you peace, blessings.    Pete.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 22 Jun 16 - 09:55 PM

Speaking for myself, I'm not here as often as I once was. Life gets in the way. I'm here when I can be and I imagine that's true of others.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 22 Jun 16 - 01:14 PM

Nigel, come aboard! We all need time away sometimes, so no crime there.

I'm not around much these days, but I know you are welcome here.

Be kind to you!

Maeve

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 22 Jun 16 - 10:52 AM

I stepped away from 'Jane's Rainbow' too soon & for far too long. My posts, such as they are, sound hollow. I need to find a way back because I must make my peace with you all. I regret my selfish behaviour...behaviour that has been repeated over many years. I thought I'd finally 'grown up'. I have cast myself adrift...please, if you will, bring me alongside.
                                                          Much Troubled,
                                                                                  Nigel.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 21 Jun 16 - 11:05 AM

Joe, that's a lovely tribute for a good man

sandra

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: keberoxu
Date: 20 Jun 16 - 06:12 PM

Amen to what gnu said. My parents have yet to pass: when they do, I will think of your father and yourself.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: frogprince
Date: 19 Jun 16 - 10:43 PM

Amens to what Janie, Chantey Lass, and gnu have said; condolences to you and all the kin.

          Dean

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jun 16 - 09:49 PM

Thank you for sharing, Joe. You touched my heart with your posts and I am sure you touched the hearts of others. I kinda figure your old man had something to do with the fact that you turned out so well that you could relate all of this to us and enrich us in your time of sorrow. You are a good soul, Joe. Once, again, my condolences and adding again my thanks to you for sharing... you have taught me another lesson. Bless.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 19 Jun 16 - 09:38 PM

Joe, I'm adding my condolences to those of others. You were blessed with a wonderful father; he was blessed with a wonderful son.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Janie
Date: 19 Jun 16 - 01:29 PM

For Joe. Precious Memories

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Janie
Date: 19 Jun 16 - 07:51 AM

Holding you and all who loved him in my heart, Joe. Sounds like he was a joy to know.

I think you must be very like your father.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Joe Offer
Date: 19 Jun 16 - 01:16 AM

Bob Offer, December 29, 1919-June 18, 2016. What a wonderful man! I guess the greatest tribute can make to my dad, is that we all enjoyed him so much. I have so many happy memories of the time I spent with my dad. He was always so interested in everyone and everything, and he always was happy and positive. He was generous to a fault, he sang at the drop of a hat, he seemed to know how to do everything, and he was so proud of his family and his friends. I had a nice visit with him for a week in April. We ate outside by the pond at his nursing home every day, and there were two bald eagles across the pond every day. We had such a good time watching them. We had a good time, a memorable time, doing so many things.
Goodbye, Dad. You were such a good man. God bless you.

...and he enjoyed life up to the very end. He was really something.

-Joe-

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jun 16 - 11:02 AM

His birthday was a short while back. June 8. Facebook... https://www.facebook.com/pat.s.patterson?fref=ts

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 18 Jun 16 - 06:50 AM

Monday 20th June is the anniversary of Pat Patterson's passing. I miss his wit, his 'take no prisoner' attitude, his intellect & above all, his take on Life. He taught me how to approach Life in a different way. We shared so much more than just a similar surname.
                                              With Love,
                                                               Nigel.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: keberoxu
Date: 17 Jun 16 - 05:08 PM

Joe Offer, no doubt I speak for us all when I wish you a Father's Day this year, under whatever circumstances, that you can remember with gratitude and even comfort. Until your post about Snoopy in the Charles Schulz thread, I had forgotten that you are getting over the death of a longtime pet dog as well. Anyone who has outlived a beloved pet companion knows how genuine that feeling of loss is. Add these two situations together, and this time must be a vulnerable one for you and yours. Keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 16 Jun 16 - 03:09 PM

Ditto, ditto, ditto!

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 15 Jun 16 - 10:30 PM

Go, Tommy!

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 16 - 11:59 AM

He's recovering, all right!

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Pete from seven stars link
Date: 14 Jun 16 - 05:33 PM

Tommy first day back at school and came home really tired . We were sure he would fall asleep early tonight. Not a bit of it! The blighter got himself out of bed and in the armchair with his dvd player till almost 10 ,bless him !

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 14 Jun 16 - 05:24 PM

Hmm. Might have worked to buy the coffin early in life and use it as a bar until the time of death!

I was at the Mystic Sea Music Festival Thursday through Sunday and slept much of yesterday and today. This is the first thread I've looked at since I got home.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 16 - 11:22 AM

Visit MOAB. If they go there they usually don't come back because the folks there don't fight. They just ignore them and shovel it over them. Click on the "d" by the number of posts and scroll on down.

I'm going to go to a certified, genuine, she-ain't-that-sort-and-she's-liable-to-hurt-you-if-you-think-she-is Massage Therapist. She suggested a weekly visit of 15 minutes to work on the scar tissue in my hand. A good idea, methinks.

No one knows what the future holds, but we're already planning trips as far out as November. The next one is to Glacier NP and of course, Waterton.

I like a guy who drinks like that! My FIL wanted his coffin used as a bar for his going-away party but my MIL wouldn't do it.