Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 23 Dec 15 - 04:44 AM

I check in several times a week but finding it difficult to offer words of comfort that are compassionate & meaningful. My oldest surviving relative has turned against me & hurt me profoundly. Her last words to me, at the end of a most acrimonious 'phone call were: "I never want to see you again". I cannot comprehend why she harbours such hostility...I always thought she loved me. Whether some form of dementia is to blame I have no means of knowing.

Setting all that aside, I would like to wish everyone on Jane's Rainbow a very Happy Christmas...a very Happy Holiday...Season's Greetings...a very Happy, Healthy & Peaceful New Year...hoping that 2016 will result in our world leaders understanding the 'Big Picture'.
                         With Love to You All,
                                                          Nigel & Ann xxxxx

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 23 Dec 15 - 07:55 AM

best wishes to all for the season & the following year

love from sandra

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Mysha
Date: 23 Dec 15 - 01:50 PM

Nigel,

I usually don't understand people very well even if they're not angry, so I can't say much about what may have happened. However, I can say that my uncle two years ago, recently widow(er?)ed at that time, was very cross with my mother, to the point of severing all ties (indeed by telephone). The last few months, however he has sent birthday and Christmas greetings. So, apparently there's always still hope that in time things may change.

Bye,
                                                                Mysha

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: billybob
Date: 24 Dec 15 - 05:59 AM

morning,

Poor mum is very unwell. The Community Matron visited yesterday and has decided that it is time for the end of life team to come and support me.

Wont ask for thoughts etc as I know how wonderful you all are and that all I have to do is come on board for hugs.

fondest love

Wendy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 24 Dec 15 - 08:12 AM

Oh, Wendy. Such a hard path- yet with so many shining moments you have allowed us to see. Thank you. Hugs a-plenty to you and yours.

For Wendy, Lisa, Nigel & Ann, Janie, gnu, Pete, Mysha, ChanteyLass, Tami, Dean, Donuel, Sandra... all those named and unnamed friends who have sailed with us for a moment or for years- Love and attentive listening, companionable silence and good food, great sorrow and great joy have been ours together.

Dr. Daniel Goleman, a famous psychologist and author on "Emotional Intelligence," wrote that "...a prerequisite to empathy is simply paying attention to the person in pain."

Thank you all for demonstrating empathy by paying attention to people in pain. Thank you for allowing your joy and pain to deepen your well of compassion. Thank you for offering sweet water from that well to every soul who waves as we sail, comes on board or paddles alongside, or swims a few strokes with us.

Sending blessings through music,
Maeve

"The Parting Glass" | Cindy Kallet and Grey Larsen

Tide and the River Rising (Oars) Cindy Kallet & Grey Larsen
"Tide and the River Rising" lyrics

"Courage" by Cindy Kallet and Grey Larsen    
"Courage " lyrics

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: GUEST,Pete from seven stars link
Date: 24 Dec 15 - 11:53 AM

Ah Wendy, had a wave of sadness reading your post. Maybe because it is still recent I lost dad. However long you will still have her , will be precious, and she has been blessed to have a deeply caring daughter.       Pete.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Kampervan
Date: 24 Dec 15 - 12:38 PM

And spare a thought for all of those people who have suffered in some way but who, for whatever reason, cannot bring themselves to actually post to this thread.

For them, I hope that if this Christmas cannot be the best ever then, at least, may future ones be better.

Best wishes for 2016.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 24 Dec 15 - 02:19 PM

Yes indeed, Kampervan- I had tried to include all- your own good self as well. I am often one of those who can not post. Thanks for clarifying and expanding.

Maeve

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Kampervan
Date: 24 Dec 15 - 03:05 PM

You're one of the good ones Maeve. Thanks for the thoughts and I hope that you and your family have a great holiday.
Best wishes
K/van

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ranger1
Date: 24 Dec 15 - 04:38 PM

Thank you, Maeve.

J-boy could use some of the Rainbow's mojo. His dad had to go in for emergency surgery this AM due to an infection in the wound from his surgery from just before Thanksgiving. Steve had a hip replacement three years ago that was causing cobalt poisoning, and it was replaced/repaired just before Thanksgiving. He was in a rehab hospital until about a week ago, went in for a doctor's appointment yesterday AM and they scheduled surgery for this AM.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 24 Dec 15 - 06:56 PM

Gee... so much to digest. I have no words except I feel and empathize. Thoughts and prayers to all.

I have my windows flung open to gather fresh air as it's 12C on the Eve. I recall being snowed in for three days on Xmas. So, I am grateful. Good night and joy be with you all.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 25 Dec 15 - 10:26 PM

There's much going on here. Thank you, Maeve, for posting links to music that lifts our spirits. Love to everyone on this full moon Christmas.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 27 Dec 15 - 08:09 AM

I can but echo the fine words written above. We have travelled far...achieved more than I could have ever imagined. As our fourth year rushes headlong to greet us, I wish everyone here a "Good New Year". May you receive relief from your pain, whatever form it takes.
My thoughts & love are directed especially towards Wendy & her Family. Many of us have trodden this path, so it is my earnest wish that our combined empathy brings some comfort & support.
             We know not what the New Year brings, but we can rest safe in the knowledge that we do not stand on the brink, alone & unloved,
                                                                      With Love to my Dearest Friends,
                                                                                                                            Nigel xxxxx

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Janie
Date: 27 Dec 15 - 06:22 PM

Focusing on gratitude. So much to be sad about. So much to worry about and to fear. That is why we sail together.

This is a Townes VanZandt song, a later cover by Guy Clark that I particularly like - he turned it into a love song of life.
To Live Is to Fly

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 28 Dec 15 - 03:17 PM

Well, it was balmy on Christmas (about 10C, 13C Xmas Eve!). Green... second green Xmas in a row! I've seen 39 of them here and only one was green before these last two years. I recall one Xmas that we were snowed in for three days.

Of course, smugness get's karma'd. The Kee-Kee birds arrived from their northern nesting grounds after the snow yesterday and brought minus 21WC (Wind Chill) with them. I just hope last year's snow doesn't repeat. We had one stom in early December but NO snow on the ground until January 28. By mid March, we had a whole winter of snow on the ground. On my street, on February 19, two cars could not get by each other. Got my truck stuck trying to let a car pass and if I hadn't had 4X4, I would have had to shovel out me truck.

Still, I look at the floods in England and Colorado and Central/South America, the tornados in Texas where people have been killed... I welcome this cold and snow. I look at the wars and the migrations. I read the hardships of life in this thread. And, I welcome this cold and snow - it's a minor inconvenience.

Bless all. I hope the new year brings us all to a better place.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 28 Dec 15 - 04:41 PM

Well said indeed, friend gnu.
Maeve

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Mysha
Date: 28 Dec 15 - 05:48 PM

Thanks Janie,

"Acceptance of whatever the reality of the moment is", will of course mostly be my problem. My mother's mind is OK, whereas mine is ... "unusual". Or from a different perspective: During therapy she's had to accept people doing tasks that she used to do herself, but to me it still feels like I'm invading, even if I'm doing it for her. But I'll try accepting things as they are now.

Bye,
                                                                Mysha

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 28 Dec 15 - 06:56 PM

Mysha- Same here, for me. We are not alone. :)

Maeve

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 29 Dec 15 - 09:33 AM

I hope all our friends in the UK... well, everyone in the UK... stays safe through the storm. Nasty weather forecast!

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Janie
Date: 29 Dec 15 - 10:46 PM

Echoing gnu's remarks for all those in harm's way from weather.

It is hard, Mysha. My Dad, sister and I found it very, very difficult to overcome our prohibitions in caring for him. Mom needed relief and some opportunities to sleep through the night, but we often failed her.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 30 Dec 15 - 02:51 AM

The worst of the bad weather is way to the North of where we live, so other than plenty of 'normal rain' & some gusty wind, we're safe & dry. A tributary of The Thames flows behind our house, some four hundred yards away, I would guess, but as a tributary, it benefits from the protection of The Thames Barrier, so we have to put our trust in the engineering skills of others.

Maeve, your quotation above: "...a prerequisite to empathy is simply paying attention to the person in pain." is a perfect fit for our thread. I think it encapsulates what we do best. I'm also reminded of some words written by our sorely missed Friend, Pat Patterson. He wrote of his amazement at how real our virtual relationships become. Over the past four years, we have created a 'vessel' that can sail wherever she is needed; that can weather the worst of Life's storms. Onwards we voyage,
                                              With Love to You All,
                                                                               Nigel xxxxx

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 30 Dec 15 - 07:17 AM

beautifully put as always, Nigel

sandra

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: GUEST,Peter from seven stars link
Date: 30 Dec 15 - 05:20 PM

Indeed, eloquently expressed.   Happy new year to all the crew, I case I don't post tomorrow. What's others doing to see in 2016 ? I plan to be at an open mic. It's usually good, so I expect it will be more fun tomorrow night .

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 30 Dec 15 - 06:47 PM

as I live in the suburb where zillions of Sydneysiders & folks from other places congregate to celebrate NYE (& go drinking every weekend), I tend to stay home cos getting back is not easy. Also the crowde everywhere are gi-normous which makes the getting back even harder.

I just might wander out 8.30ish to see if I can get near the closest of the vantage points for the world famous fireworks (live link), but maybe not as I've seen the top of the highest fireworks before over the buildings around my part of the harbour.

I'll probably listen to a few CDs, continue with my backlog of blog articles & maybe get on with a bit of sewing.

sandra (10.45 Thursday morning)

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 30 Dec 15 - 06:49 PM

here's the direct link to the world-famous Sydney fireworks & earlier entertainment starting at 6pm Sydney time in about 7 hours

sandra

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ranger1
Date: 30 Dec 15 - 07:15 PM

I'll be staying in. I'm on the mend still after putting my back out last week.

Sharing a happy with the crew: got a package from Norway from my youngest host brother. Opened it up to find a flash drive of almost 500 photos and videos, some of him when he was small, some of his significant other when she was small, and the bulk of them are of his son, from sonogram to this Christmas. Trym will be 2 in March. Spent a large chunk of the afternoon looking at happy pics.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 31 Dec 15 - 12:14 PM

How lovely, r1!

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Janie
Date: 31 Dec 15 - 10:32 PM

Spectacular and thrilling fireworks display, Sandra. Hope you don't mind that I shared it on Facebook.

I will soon be headed to bed. Haven't been awake to see in the New Year in a long, long time.

Having friends over tomorrow for an early New Year's supper. I'm fixing my family's traditional meal of corned beef, cabbage and cornbread. Guests are bringing black-eyed peas and collard greens in keeping with the more common southern US tradition. Didn't have time to go to the bank to get a shiny, new dime to cook with the cabbage.

Took a few very awkward, shuffling steps with a cane in PT today. Bodes well for the New Year. May not seem much to crow about, but I am very excited.

So very glad to be part of this crew and to be sailing into another year in such company.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86_tlA9maA0&feature=youtu.be

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ranger1
Date: 01 Jan 16 - 12:01 AM

Thanks, Janie. I'm a fan of this version of the song, myself.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 01 Jan 16 - 02:11 AM

Janie - good to know you are starting to hobble around, & I hope your facebook friends enjoyed the pics

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: billybob
Date: 01 Jan 16 - 04:28 AM

My beloved mum passed away on Wednesday morning, very peacefully, holding my hand. All my family, 14 of us were together on Sunday last and were able to say goodbye. My little grandaughter aged 9 held nannys hand and mum waved her other arm in the air"look Nonnie," she said"nanny is dancing with Grandad"Out of the mouths of babes?
Wishing you all a happy and contented New Year.
With all my love
Wendy xxx

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: GUEST,Pete from seven stars link
Date: 01 Jan 16 - 04:40 AM

Ah, Wendy . Expected but always so sad. Peace and blessing to you and yours.    Pete.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 01 Jan 16 - 05:49 AM

Our Dear Wendy, Ann & I are holding you in our thoughts. Love & comfort are yours in abundance. Pete expresses our thoughts perfectly: "Expected but always so sad".
                     With love & sincere condolences,
                                                                           Nigel & Ann xxxxx

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ranger1
Date: 01 Jan 16 - 07:20 AM

Sorry for your loss, Wendy, but glad it was a peaceful end.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 01 Jan 16 - 07:20 AM

Wendy, I'm glad you were able to do so much with and for your dear mother. I'm glad you had a restorative and happy mini-vacation, enabling you to return restored, showering her with all your love. I'm especially grateful family gathered on Sunday, and that you, most devoted and loving of daughters, could hold her hand, witnessing that ineffable and tender departure. Well done, you- Thank you for including us.

Maeve

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Janie
Date: 01 Jan 16 - 08:14 AM

I can only echo Maeve, Wendy. Sending love.

Janie

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: frogprince
Date: 01 Jan 16 - 04:58 PM

Wendy, peace and comfort to you and all the family.


Ya done good.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 02 Jan 16 - 06:09 AM

love & hugs, peace & comfort

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 03 Jan 16 - 04:26 AM

Glad to hear the news, Janie.

Wendy... maeve said it all. My condolences.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 03 Jan 16 - 06:25 AM

Janie "...Took a few very awkward, shuffling steps with a cane in PT today. Bodes well for the New Year. May not seem much to crow about, but I am very excited."

And so are we for you! That's a huge improvement, and there will be more to follow.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 03 Jan 16 - 06:32 AM

For us all- Please take a moment to read and reflect on Desert Dancer's post here: Subject: RE: singing for the dying and at wakes
It's all worth reading, but focus on Becky's Desert Dancer's post of
02 Jan 16 - 11:02 PM, quoting from a piece by Jennifer L. Hollis. It's perfect for The Rainbow's crew and guests.
Love,
Maeve

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 04 Jan 16 - 05:25 AM

I'm going to be 'out of action' for most of January...a combination of radical med. changes (already begun & causing adjustment problems). Surgery (only a hernia repair) & an extensive round of tests for my hearing & heart. In the words of my maternal Grandmother: "I don't have the energy to blow the top off a rice pudding!" I have only to read the posts above to know that Jane's Rainbow is, as always, in good hands, so I have no reservations about taking some 'shore leave' for a month or so.
                                       Sending you all Love & every good wish for the New Year,
                                                                                                                                     Nigel xxxxx

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 04 Jan 16 - 06:32 AM

Nigel, we'll be keeping you in heart and thought.

Keep watch for the sunrise of each coming day,
Collect the little kindnesses you meet on the way
Hold hands with your lady who loves you so true,
Hum a song for the treasure we're rooting for- You!

{Doggerel sent with affection and respect.}

Maeve

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jan 16 - 03:00 PM

Good luck, Nigel.

I live on Leeside Fuckin Drive, baby! I can see the street sign! It's green! I can see snow flakes! I can see pine needles! I can see pine needles waving in the wind! Right eye gets done Wednesday.

Hmmm... if I can see really good after these surgeries, will I start ogling the fairer sex again? That could be a problem. Not the ogling part but the stomping the primitive urges part. Nah... no problems. A lesson learned eh?

One cataract catawrecked, one to go.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 04 Jan 16 - 04:33 PM

GO, GNU!!

That's the great news TL and I needed today. Thank you!!

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jan 16 - 04:56 PM

meave.... I hope TL's surgery(s) go well too.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: frogprince
Date: 04 Jan 16 - 08:27 PM

My cataract surgeries were a piece o' cake, gnu; may yours both go as well. As it happened, it was six years between when I needed it or each eye.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 05 Jan 16 - 07:56 AM

Left eye went perfectly. Right eye tomorrow.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: GUEST,Pete from seven stars link
Date: 05 Jan 16 - 01:22 PM

Trust today's went well too.   It will make a ...gnu...man of you !

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Janie
Date: 05 Jan 16 - 06:40 PM

I know this is a love song. But I hear it as a love song to us all from us all.

Agape love.

I don't have words these days for each or any of you but that is not about you each individually not being in my heart and mind. So much going on in every life.

If I needed you.