Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 28 Aug 16 - 02:26 PM

Donuel, I'm sorry your son is not improving.
Rap, I hope your knee continues to heal.
Mysha, we'll be here when you are ready.
Love to all the Rainbow's crew!

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 28 Aug 16 - 11:11 AM

Thoughts and prayers, Mysha and Donuel.

Rap... glad to hear progress is being made.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Aug 16 - 10:21 PM

My Knee
by Rapparee
Grade 4

The nurses took the bandages off my knee last Wednesday. They said it looked really good. Now I am supposed to take physical therapy for six weeks.

It still hurts and sometimes it's all swelled up and red. But everybody says I'm doing wonderful.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Donuel
Date: 27 Aug 16 - 12:36 PM

I have hesitated to say but Dean has still not left his comfort zone but he did have a scared straight moment as a result of a school meeting. At the meeting he presented zero eye contact that resulted in the attendance officer to contact government social services to investigate if he is getting correct treatment.
A new shrink was arranged along with new medication. When the social worker asked him questions he was very communicative with limited eye contact. He also was presented with options from his retiring doctor that included electro shock therapy. He snapped out of it for a short time.

I still identify the internet as a villain who has robbed him of eye contact and an addiction that prevents real world exploration.
If screen time eliminates 200 opportunities a day to make real eye contact it adds up day by day until eye contact is alien and feels impossible. btw he has grown a remarkable 7 inches this year and in no way is he a tiny Tim anymore.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 27 Aug 16 - 11:52 AM

Hi Mysha - You don't have to post anything unless you wish to do so.
We will understand.

Maeve

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Donuel
Date: 27 Aug 16 - 11:02 AM

Only you can make all this world seem right
Only you can make the darkness bright
Only you and you alone can thrill me like you do
My rational and mashable yooou.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Mysha
Date: 27 Aug 16 - 10:41 AM

Thanks, crew. I am reading, I'm just not up to posting anything personal yet.

Bye,
                                                             Mashable

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Donuel
Date: 27 Aug 16 - 09:57 AM

Hey Lady, wanna get mashed? (smile)

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 27 Aug 16 - 09:43 AM

Hi Janie- Do you have Autocorrect on your device perhaps?

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Janie
Date: 27 Aug 16 - 08:24 AM

Holding you and your family in my thoughts, Mashable.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 27 Aug 16 - 08:02 AM

Thanks, m.

My condolences, Mysha.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 26 Aug 16 - 11:26 AM

New day, new challenges, new victories...

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Aug 16 - 09:12 PM

Thank you, Maeve.

I often quote Bill the Bard at times like this:

Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits and
Are melted into air, into thin air:
And, like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.

No more pain....

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Pete from seven stars link
Date: 24 Aug 16 - 03:38 PM

Thank you Maeve for relaying the sad but eventually expected. I am sure that I am not the only one with moist eyes offering a prayer for mysha.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 23 Aug 16 - 08:50 PM

Thank you, Maeve, for your update. I will continue to pray but will change the nature of my prayers.

This is my third attempt to post this message.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 23 Aug 16 - 08:44 PM

sending good wishes to Mysha & family - & thanks to maeve for her thoughtful posts here & elsewhere.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 23 Aug 16 - 07:57 PM

Dear Crew of the Rainbow,

I've been asked to tell you that Mysha's mother has died and thus is no longer suffering. We will all understand how busy and confusing are the many things that must be taken care of after the death of a loved one, so please hold Mysha in your thoughts and prayers.

Respectfully,

Maeve

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ranger1
Date: 23 Aug 16 - 11:35 AM

I'm pretty much a lurker these days, too, but like Janie, I do check in and read.

Mysha, you and your mother have been in my thoughts.

Maeve, you lovely person, thank you for the kind words you always have for those who need them and looking out for the rest of us. Hopefully, I can deliver a hug in person in the near future.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 22 Aug 16 - 08:30 PM

I'm still here, too, quietly. Refresh!

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Janie
Date: 20 Aug 16 - 06:16 PM

Have turned into a lurker but have not abandoned ship. Just haven't found words for a long time. Read nearly daily. All who post, know I'm sitting quietly in a hidden corner, watching, listening, caring....

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 20 Aug 16 - 05:40 PM

Oh, Mysha...Well done! You have accomplished so much for yourself and your mother! Thank you for telling us some of our thoughts and words were helpful. That's a gift you've given to us!

Those kind nurses might enjoy some chocolates or flowers or fruit.

Please tell us as little or as much of your journey with your mother as is useful to you. We're here listening and ready to encourage and support as well as we can... and we understand some things need a bit of privacy also. You could send a PM if that works better for you sometimes.

Maeve

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Mysha
Date: 20 Aug 16 - 04:43 PM

Thanks all,

For reminding me of a song I have behind me in the CD rack, for reminding me that others got through this as well and that I shouldn't burn myself up in the process, for all the good suggestions, simply for sympathising.

We have the music working; indeed the nurses were quite enthusiastic we do this, provided I supplied the equipment and CDs. Your words encouraged me to reach out a bit more, with several people telling me to ask for help the moment I need it. It has also helped me discussing details I was unsure of, some of which, it turned out, could easily be found out once I knew to ask about them.

It's not that I suddenly know where things are going, but it does feel like taking small steps does move you forward.

Thanks,
                                                                Mysha

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 20 Aug 16 - 02:58 PM

Wonderful words, m, and others. Nice tune, Rap. I was minded of The Rankin Family - We Rise Again but, alas, I could find no video of quality.

Bless all.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Pete from seven stars link
Date: 19 Aug 16 - 06:29 PM

Been away and catching up now. A few of us have been where you are now Mysha, and I have nothing more to add to the excellent comments above except my empathy and a prayer at this time. Bless you, and your mum.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: keberoxu
Date: 19 Aug 16 - 04:33 PM

Hope Rapparee's meeting went well,
and how is his better half recovering?

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Aug 16 - 02:33 PM

imagine my delight at the gift of hearing that song for the first time in my life. thanks Rap

Take care of yourself
what does that even mean?

it means being selfish amidst all the mixed feelings and advice.
it means an unexpected treat or an unlikely event you will enjoy.

things are given to those who give but you have to allow time for yourself to accept what is given back to you.

PS guilt is usually a cruel self delusion.

good luck Mysha

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 16 - 10:02 AM

This song has meant a lot to me over the years. It give you encouragement to get through the tough times.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 18 Aug 16 - 06:49 PM

Thinking of all those we know are dealing with difficult times...and those who have not spoken of their challenges.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 17 Aug 16 - 06:32 PM

Hi Mysha,

I understand about touch being uncomfortable and difficult. That's OK. It was just one idea, not required. :)

Perhaps there is a nurse or a hospital chaplain who might answer some questions. Even better might be if a Hospice trained person is available to talk with. Sometimes it helps to have someone you trust listen with you and ask questions for you if it is too hard for you to talk about it- or if you don't know what to ask!

Music might be good even sometimes when she sleeps. If you think the nurses are open to the idea, one or more might be willing to play music at certain times if you can set things up. Could you ask about this perhaps? The staff is always busy, but if you can make it easy (working equipment, but nothing valuable) they are often very happy to help if they can.

Your posts on Mudcat are always thoughtful and interesting. You might find it useful to write or draw, or any other form of reflection and expression) as you sit with your mother, even while the music is playing. No one but you has to see your writing or drawing. It is one healthy way to help yourself say what you would like to tell your mother, or memories you treasure, or what you admire or even what you don't understand about your mother's life.

Taking care of yourself: Yes, it is very hard to do this. For some people it helps to have a schedule for getting something to eat, or walking to somewhere nearby for real food (not from vending machines), or for a coffee, or slowly drinking a bottle of water outside- whatever works for you is good. Sometimes there might be a friend who will sit with your mother while you take a bathroom break. Think about what you need to feel safe and what you need to stay healthy. For me, sleep was hard to get. I found times when I could take a nap in a safe place.

That's a lot of words from a friendly stranger, Mysha, talking with you as if we were sitting on a park bench somewhere. Please choose what might work for your needs, or find other ways to manage this hard, sad time. Each person dealing with illness and grief must learn what is helpful, what is comforting, and what other people can help with. I believe you can survive this time, and I believe you can find help when you need it. You'll do your best, and it will be enough.

Gardenmaeve

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Mysha
Date: 17 Aug 16 - 03:27 PM

Hi,

Maeve and others, thanks for the advice.

We're not the touching kind, well I'm not, so she might not experience that as me comforting her.
[Over-sensitive autist: What to others might be a comforting touch, is hard pushing to me.]

She has now been moved to a single room (one she is also familiar with). Let me see what the nurses think of me playing music there. But she now sleeps where last week she merely dozed, thus I don't know whether I can be there to reach her when she is somewhat awake. Should I say it's good for her to be sleeping, rather than be awake and suddenly find herself locked in by her inability to communicate?

And thanks for warning me to take care of myself as well. That seems to be one of the harder parts of taking care.

Bye,
                                                                Mysha

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: keberoxu
Date: 17 Aug 16 - 01:42 PM

refresh

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 15 Aug 16 - 08:21 PM

Yay, Rap! Thank you for letting us know how you are. Good luck with that meeting!

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: keberoxu
Date: 15 Aug 16 - 07:26 PM

Welcome back, your Imperial Rapness, to real computers, and please DO exercise caution with those risky pain meds. Good to have you back.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 15 Aug 16 - 05:30 PM

I'll pass along your message, Rap. It's very good to hear from you on this side of the surgery.

I'm delighted you can now be told, "Hi yo Silver, away!" when you head out for the actual or virtual important meeting.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 16 - 03:26 PM

Tell Skarpi to keep well. Someday I'll visit Iceland and want to buy him a drink or seven.

Mysha, I'm sure she knows your presence. Just being there is a good.

My surgery went okay, I guess. I was asleep. Bandages containing silver have been used because "they promote healing better" -- they are also more expensive, I suppose. I'm hobbling around on a walker; there is a very important meeting being held at the church on Thursday and if I can't connect by telephone or Skype (I've asked about it) I may go in person (it has to do with the future use of church buildings by "outside" groups, like local musical groups, among other things). I'm taking high-power pain killers and being very, very, very careful with them!

This is the first time I've had a chance at a REAL computer!

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 15 Aug 16 - 11:54 AM

Skarpi is mostly working hard and not online, but I'll check in to see how things are going. Neither of us tends to be here often. When last we "spoke" he was better, but I think I already mentioned that here. :)

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 15 Aug 16 - 02:44 AM

I'll second that - sending good wishes to all who need them

sandra

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 14 Aug 16 - 09:59 PM

Mysha, I can't imagine what that's like for you--or for your mother. I like what Maeve wrote.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: keberoxu
Date: 14 Aug 16 - 07:01 PM

Maeve, any update on Skarpi?

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 14 Aug 16 - 06:51 PM

Refreshing so others know of Mysha's need.

Rap, how'd the surgery go?

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 14 Aug 16 - 02:02 PM

What maeve said. Bless.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: maeve
Date: 14 Aug 16 - 01:20 PM

Mysha, I'm sad for you. There is some hope still in terms of you reaching her. Talk quietly to her, play her favorite music, hold her hand...please also be kind and gentle to yourself.

Maeve

Subject: The flickering candle
From: Mysha
Date: 14 Aug 16 - 12:51 PM

She's gone for me.
After a series of TIAs, my mother's world now seems to be limited to her bed in the care centre, she can't speak words that I can recognise, and she doesn't really react to me any more. I know that when she's not dozing, there might be moments when her bright mind still shines, even if it can't get trough, but I can't really believe it any more.

She didn't want it to end this way, and I don't know whether to hope for a slightly brighter moment before it ends, or for the end of her suffering to come quickly.

                                                                Mysha

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: keberoxu
Date: 11 Aug 16 - 06:48 PM

Thinking of Rapparee; Nigel's Ann; Tami, formerly owned by Bandit; Pete from seven stars, watching over his adult children. And Skarpi, hoping he is all better now after his scary illness earlier this year.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Aug 16 - 08:26 PM

Rap may your carpenter be an artist.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 09 Aug 16 - 07:38 PM

Rap, I hope your surgery and recovery go quickly and smoothly.
Tami, if I'd read this sooner, I would have asked you to give Bandit a big hug from me. Anyway, here's one for you. ( )

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 09 Aug 16 - 04:31 PM

Rap... I hope you get what you kneed. Heal well and fast, buddy.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: keberoxu
Date: 09 Aug 16 - 03:28 PM

Rapparee, sustaining thoughts and emotions sent your way as you are admitted to hospital.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: gnu
Date: 09 Aug 16 - 02:15 PM

I had a good chuckle when Rap wrote, "That's ungodly early, but I think I can get some sleep after I get there."

Then, r1's post. I am in tears. RIP Bandit.

Subject: RE: Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort
From: frogprince
Date: 09 Aug 16 - 11:35 AM

(((tami)))