Jane's Rainbow: for all needing support & comfort

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 23 Feb 13 - 04:29 AM

I'm so sorry to add to your collective anxieties by not posting. 17th Feb. does seem a long, long way back. Reading through your posts since then, there is so much I want to comment on, so much thanks due.News, beautiful, compassionate outpourings; simple, sincere support; links to Music; the list seems almost endless. I've always wanted to & tried to respond to you individually, within each post. It would be more manageable for me to take an 'all embracing' approach, rather than individualising. Life being what it is, there will always be exceptions to this. What energy I have is divided up between Jane, my Marriage with Ann, Our Thread, mine & Ann's personal health issues & my Music. That 'energy supply' seems to be depleting in proportion to the rate of deterioration in Jane's health, so keeping on top of everything gets just that little bit harder, day by day, week by week.
       In the last week, further complications have come to light regarding Jane's health. I can't write about them publicly, but suffice to say, I have nothing good or positive to report.
       I want you to know that my love for all of you grows deeper as each day passes.
       I want you to know that my gratitude knows no bounds.
       I want you to know that without Our Thread, life, with all it's current awfulness, would be an unbearable nightmare.
       I want you to know that you have made a difference to my life, to Ann's life & through us, to Jane's life.
                         With Much Love to You All,
                                                                  Nigel & Ann.
                                                                  xxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: Janie
Date: 22 Feb 13 - 10:30 PM

Sometimes the wind fails or fades. We are all pulling at the oars now, Nigel and Ann, keeping a steady course, and here as wanted or needed.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 22 Feb 13 - 08:30 PM

I'm still here too with the rest of you.I can wait. I can be patient. I can also keep sending good thoughts, prayers, and love.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: frogprince
Date: 22 Feb 13 - 03:29 PM

Always following, and ever mindful. Hoping for at least peace and comfort for these good people.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: catspaw49
Date: 22 Feb 13 - 03:09 PM

Exactly right Pete.........The important thing is that we do keep sending our best thoughts to Nigel and Ann because they will be needing to know we are always here............and we are.

Love and Hope


Spaw

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: GUEST,pete from seven stars link
Date: 22 Feb 13 - 02:55 PM

whenever you do check in nigel you will know that friends have thought about you and yours and have prayed.God bless   pete.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: gnu
Date: 22 Feb 13 - 02:05 PM

5 days. Yeah. Every day gets a little more anxious, don't it? I am hoping Nigel just needs a break.

Spaw's gonna need a flashlight and a map soon.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: billybob
Date: 22 Feb 13 - 01:47 PM

Sending love and thoughts Nigel

Wendy xxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 22 Feb 13 - 10:27 AM

Been 5 days now since Nigel posted...

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: GUEST,999
Date: 22 Feb 13 - 08:47 AM

Nigel, wazzup buddy?

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: maeve
Date: 22 Feb 13 - 08:03 AM

Morning cheer to all friends here.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 21 Feb 13 - 05:48 PM

WAY UP, SPAW, again. I'm glad we've helped, but I hope we can do more.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 21 Feb 13 - 03:41 AM

I'll second that & add a hug.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: Janie
Date: 20 Feb 13 - 10:03 PM

Up Spaw!

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: catspaw49
Date: 20 Feb 13 - 09:43 PM

I've maintained the same Hemoglobin level now for 5 weeks which means the Aronesp is at least working but not enough to forestall the chemo crap. Y'all have done a great job as I had been been losing weekly and being transfused every 2-3 weeks....AND I THANK YOU!!

Otherwise I can only echo the wise woman from the mountains who said above so beautifically......Live in the precious present? Always. Let the present be exquisitely sweet.

Nigel and Ann.......We're always here living the present and sending our love and hope for all of you to be doing the same.


Spaw

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 20 Feb 13 - 07:59 PM

I'm still here too (though I wasn't last night when Mudcat was offline, but I still thought of you, your family, and many others).

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: fat B****rd
Date: 20 Feb 13 - 03:11 PM

Nigel, I do so wish I could say something profound right now but please accept my very best thoughts and wishes as always.
Charlie

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: billybob
Date: 20 Feb 13 - 01:17 PM

Still here,

as you said so well Freda

much love
Wendy xxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: freda underhill
Date: 20 Feb 13 - 10:15 AM

Nigel, what can I say except that you are such a loving father and that will mean so much to her.

..and in the meantime..

x freda

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 20 Feb 13 - 09:19 AM

me, too

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: GUEST,pete from seven stars link
Date: 20 Feb 13 - 09:17 AM

nothing to add but checking in again with thoughts and prayers   pete.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: Janie
Date: 19 Feb 13 - 12:10 AM

Such a wild roller coaster ride. It is one thing to know you or a dearly beloved is bound to die much sooner rather than much later. But there is no way to know, with cancer, just how near or how far away the crossing of the bar may be. Relish each day, embracing both the joy of the present and the love you share, and the fear and anticipatory grief, but live in the present. Let Jane lead the way and set the tone. Reminisce? Yes. Look to the future and what it may hold? Yes. Live in the precious present? Always. Let the present be exquisitely sweet.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 18 Feb 13 - 04:07 PM

I am sending love again, too. There are so many caring thoughts on this thread.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: GUEST,pete from seven stars link
Date: 18 Feb 13 - 02:46 PM

well i reckon i will third it.
even as a practising christian i still feel inadequate in the face of suffering.i know the theology of how it came about but i know that that usually dont make it better.
another "God bless" wished on the paterson family.,,,pete

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 18 Feb 13 - 11:08 AM

I'll second that.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: GUEST,999
Date: 18 Feb 13 - 10:43 AM

Therein beats the heart of a poet. Beautifully said, gnu.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 18 Feb 13 - 07:53 AM

sending more love

sandra

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: gnu
Date: 18 Feb 13 - 06:15 AM

Ya had me scared fer a minute there, Spaw. Side by side? Great. Shoulder to shoulder? Fer sure. But I'd be straight up nervous if ya ever got my behind... er... got behind me.

Freudian slap?

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: catspaw49
Date: 18 Feb 13 - 06:05 AM

Geeziz.....That's unbelievably great coming from a gnu. Maybe we need to consult with a yak and a warthog as well and forget about the religious leaders.........

Nigel, I'd say I can only stand behind gnu...............Then again maybe not literally as that could be bad...........Damn good advice though.


Spaw

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: frogprince
Date: 17 Feb 13 - 08:33 PM

gnu, not everyone with religious credentials has what it takes to give counsel like that.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: gnu
Date: 17 Feb 13 - 08:21 PM

Nigel. I recently went thru such trauma. Not with someone so close as you are experiencing so I can't imagine your despair. The only words I can offer are these. Love her. Accept the future now, all the while hoping for a miracle, as we must. Talk with her of good things of the past, whatever those could be (only you can know of them) and how they matter to you and to those she loves. Most importantly, reinforce the good things of the past to provide the solace of knowing it was ALL worthwhile... EVERY minute of it.

I'll stop there. I am no priest and I certainly ain't no saint. Just an ordinary guy who wishes he could shoulder some of your burden and knows he can't.

I ain't religious much at all needer, but... God Bless.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: Janie
Date: 17 Feb 13 - 07:52 PM

That 11:53am post was me, on Mom's computer up in West Virginia. Home now and logged in, and still sending light and love.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Feb 13 - 11:53 AM

Breathe love in. Breathe love out.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: maeve
Date: 17 Feb 13 - 08:30 AM

Dear Nigel- I'm so sorry. I offer the following:

"Bear where thou goest the word of love
Say all that words can say
Changeless affections strength to prove
But speed upon the way"

"Row On"
Listen here...

Maeve

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: billybob
Date: 17 Feb 13 - 08:24 AM

Nigel and Ann,

just sending love and hugs,hope you both have a peaceful Sunday, be kind to yourselves today to give you strength for whatever tomorrow brings.

always in my prayers and thoughts

Wendy xxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 17 Feb 13 - 07:36 AM

Tried to write something cogent this morning, there are so many wonderful posts, full of love, compassion & music...my tears got in the way. So moved by the presence of all You Good People & so horrified & scared by what Jane showed me yesterday. She has a tumour the shape of a small American football on her right hip. It was all I could do to stop myself from exclaiming out loud. I settled for a muted OMG. X-ray, scan results tomorrow, but she has received no chemotherapy since December because of her weight loss & the administration of steroids. Ann & I are haunted by the thought of what further damage the unchecked cancer could be perpetrating. The hip tumour may well be partial evidence; who knows? What to do, what to do?
                With Love to You All,
                                                Nigel & Ann.
                                                xxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: katlaughing
Date: 16 Feb 13 - 11:58 PM

I should have included a link...there is a sample of "Sisters now our meeting is over" as sung by Libana. Of course one can replace "sister" with whomever. It's a beautiful song.

CLICK, choose the cd entitled A Circle Is Cast, then scroll down to the last song.

Much love,

kat

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 16 Feb 13 - 09:02 PM

Like so many others, I'm sending love. I am sorry the seas have turned so stormy.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: rumanci
Date: 16 Feb 13 - 08:21 PM

Love, hope, hugs all positive, upward and safely anchored. Holding fast.
rum

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: katlaughing
Date: 16 Feb 13 - 06:59 PM

Yes, we'll land on the shore/yes we'll land on the shore/yes we'll land on the shore/and be safe forever more

Holding you all in the light and giving thanks for ease and comfort through the rocky shoals.

much love,

kat

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: GUEST,999
Date: 16 Feb 13 - 06:14 PM

Keeping you in my thoughts, Nigel.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: GUEST,pete from seven stars link
Date: 16 Feb 13 - 02:36 PM

thoughts and prayers- nigel,ann,jane in these hard times.

lovely songs maeve and poetic expression.
blessings    pete.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: maeve
Date: 16 Feb 13 - 10:32 AM

Sending "Courage" "Courage" by Cindy Kallet & Grey Larsen- lyrics here.

"Going Away"- Utah Phillips- Sung by friends
Maeve

PS- Thanks, Pat.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: catspaw49
Date: 16 Feb 13 - 09:10 AM

Best love and good thoughts as time inevitably passes.........Holding you tight.


Spaw

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 16 Feb 13 - 09:02 AM

More from Staffs as well.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: gnu
Date: 16 Feb 13 - 07:16 AM

Oh dear. My thoughts & prayers continue.

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: billybob
Date: 16 Feb 13 - 04:56 AM

Nigel and Ann,

just sending " the best kind of love"

xxxxxxx

Wendy

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 16 Feb 13 - 03:08 AM

Just checking in to let you all know that Ann & I are ok, but we're becoming increasingly concerned about Jane. The cancer has made her bones so brittle that she may well have broken her hip. She's been back in hospital this week. I'll know more after the weekend. Ann's been with her all week, I've been at home because of my own appointments. There is a building momentum with Jane's state of health of a kind that is starting to make us deeply anxious. Methinks that spot on the horizon is closer than we thought.
             With Love to You All,
                                             Nigel & Ann.
                                             xxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: frogprince
Date: 16 Feb 13 - 12:29 AM

By the time I heard that chorus a couple of times, I was picturing a number of good moments in my life that had little or nothing to do with words.

May the whole "crew" have a night of quiet rest; then UP ye all.: )

Subject: RE: Healing thoughts & prayers please (Nigel Paterson)
From: catspaw49
Date: 15 Feb 13 - 09:13 PM

I heard a song on the TV program, "Judging Amy," many years ago that just struck me hard with a combination of tune and lyrics. I like the writer, Peter Himmelman, who did all the music for the show. It took him years to record it and it finally hit YouTube.

The song's name is "The Best Kind of Answer." Why am I posting this stuff here? Because there is something in the lyric that speaks to me about the transcendency of real love......that love is all powerful and can heal our pain and transcend words. This isn't to say I don't like to say the word. On the contrary! But it's like knowing that people in this group love each other and their families.
The kind of love that you know is there when you just look into the eyes of someone. Nigel and Ann......Is there any doubt that Jane knows how much you care just by looking at the two of you? Wendy? Know what I mean? I know Janie does.....and Maeve though none of us have met.

The song says the best kind of love can wash away pain, and the best kind of answer has no sound.   I believe that......I really do. Enjoy.

The Best Kind of Answer


Spaw