BS: Is chongo Dead?

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: leeneia
Date: 02 Feb 24 - 03:11 PM

I'm happy to hear that the Blind River contingent is still with us. I had assumed they had joined the morning stars, unwept, unwashed, unmourned for.

Way to go, Chongx. Did you get your idea for the trendy new spelling from Elon Musk?

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: The Sandman
Date: 27 Jan 24 - 03:49 AM

I heard he died from eating a haggis whilst reading the poetry of William McGonagall

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: gillymor
Date: 26 Jan 24 - 05:07 PM

He's not dead, he just smells like it.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 24 - 09:31 PM

Chongo has changed its name to Chongx to be hipper and more with it than s/he used to be. Moreover, Chongx has moved to Blind River and is living in a little love nest with Shame McBride.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Jan 24 - 08:16 AM

Gnu is a sensitive observer of this planet who tells stories like a fully conscious eye surgery full of emotion and will digitally live forever in Mudcat archives.
Hearing from Little Hawk is like having a Steven Wright sighting after a 3-year hibernation.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jan 24 - 02:59 AM

Regarding Penelope and Veronica, Penelope has changed little and is still engaging in various worthy projects such as campaigning against cruelty to horses, dogs, and other animals while rigorously keeping up her skills with the dueling sword. Veronica has been through 2 notoriously disastrous marriages, neither of which lasted very long, and three more auto accidents, and is battling with her ex-husbands over various properties while raising eyebrows in London, Paris, and New York with her riotous behavior and total lack of concern for same. She appears to have learned nothing from these experiences. As for Winston, he still holds court with his gentleman friends, a roguish lot of pompous wastrels who are no doubt tired of his self-promoting stories, but hopeful of his financial assistance in difficult times. He and Penelope seldom speak to one another and manage to live separate lives with little strain. Penelope rules Rutledge Mansion, while Winston rules the Vicar's Inn in Twillingsgate and his offices in London. Now and then he stops by the mansion to see if it is still there, but that's about it.

Oakley appears to have given up long ago on his romantic dreams of being Penelope's partner, and that's probably a good thing. He doesn't know how lucky he is that they never came to fruition! Anyway, he's not of the right class, so it was never worth considering, really.

Hector Ballsworthy, the British journalist who once wrote innumerable shocking tabloid articles about the secret occult connections Winston Wellington-JOnes had with "the Lizard people" and how they were planning to take over Penelope's pure Anglo-Saxon bloodline in order to control the UK and eventually all of the western world has embarked upon a popular podcast in which he investigates bizarre crimes, demonic gardening cults, and even more arcane tales such as the real story behind Batboy, a human-bat hybrid from the rural USA who once featured in several famous issues of the Weekly World News. He claims that Batboy is being held in an unnamed castle in Switzerland, and that it ties in with a plot to infiltrate all the cheese companies in Europe and introduce Bat genes into European populations. He has not been bothering the Rutledges lately, ever since the mysterious "poisoned arrows" and "dog pack" incident in Cornwall which almost proved fatal.

Other than that, things seem quite peaceful, almost like a quiet lull in what had been, for a time, a raging tempest.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Jan 24 - 04:27 PM

So many of the MOAB crowd have passed. Good to hear Chongo is around.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jan 24 - 01:44 AM

Chongo and I are very much alive in 2023, and are presently mourning the passing of our good friend, Gnu, each in our own way.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 14 - 10:31 PM

Oh, yeah -- Greeting, "Bad Penny" Rutledge. You still married to that jerkwad whatsisname? And how's your neice, Randy Ronni (a/k/a "Venereal Veronica")?

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 14 - 10:30 PM

Well, calling me a "survivalist" insults the livin' crap out of me. I am only in the sense that I intend to survive in the same manner that I have been all these years -- I don't need nor do I want a little bunker in the big woods stockpiled with food for a couple of centuries, batteries for the same length of time, and enough guns and ammo to fight both World Wars I and II.

Now, Chongo (who used to be Chonga) is another story. Of course, Chongo/a is dead -- or at least brain dead, but no one has been able to tell which it is.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 29 Nov 14 - 07:31 PM

Well, what brilliant strategy! Chongo is rumored to be a dead chimp...and wants to run for office.....Well he came to the 'right' place to campaign! What's 'left'?....Look at all the wannabe 'victims' he has to pander to!!....Mudcat liberals forever!..(besides, they can't tell their left hand from the right!).

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Bongo Bimp
Date: 29 Nov 14 - 06:54 PM

Rapparee is a survivalist librarian, which is an oxymoron. And, given that it is Rapparee, that's an insult to both ox and morons.

But what do I care about the human species? I'm a Bonabo, dammit, a Bonobo!

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Rahere
Date: 29 Nov 14 - 05:15 PM

Is an LBGT Chongo a Chimp pansy?

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Don Firth
Date: 29 Nov 14 - 01:24 PM

Sibling ribaldry, actually....

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 29 Nov 14 - 09:30 AM

A case of sibling rivalry then? Well, I find the idea of a talking Chimpanzee rather revolting, but you never know...he might prove to be a better politician than at least some of his predecessors if he does get elected president of the United States.

* PR

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Janie
Date: 28 Nov 14 - 11:25 PM

The latest rumor is Chongo and Rap are brothers from different mothers.

Scary.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 28 Nov 14 - 04:35 PM

Callin' George W. Bush a Chimp is a common way humans have of insultin' Chimps...and by extension, all apes. I heard it so many times by now that I hardly care anymore, which is a good thing for you, cos if I did still care that much, I'd have to find you and rip yer arms off.

But movin' on to other things, I am thinkin' we should start a thread entitled BS: Is Rapparee Alive?

And people could post the pros and cons, give their opinions about it.

I'm of two minds about it. On the one hand, he must be sort of alive, cos he keeps spreadin' false rumors about me. This indicates some low level of corporeal awareness...a livin' presence of a very primitive sort.

But is he morally alive? I don't think so. I ain't seen no indication of it. Is he spiritually alive? Ha! At the level of a turnip maybe? Or a garden snail? Is he mentally alive? Well...possibly...only you could sorta say that he's just limpin' along on life support when it comes to his mental powers.

So I think he is over 95% dead if ya look at it from all important angles.

Anyways, I think it would make a good thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: olddude
Date: 28 Nov 14 - 03:54 PM

You mean chump

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: frogprince
Date: 28 Nov 14 - 03:48 PM

Chongo, what ya bellyachin' about? We already elected a chimp president in 2000, and reelected him in 2008!

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 28 Nov 14 - 03:20 PM

There been a lotta rumors of my death over the years and they all been highly exaggerated. There even been some who wanted me dead!   Why? Well, I make 'em feel insecure, that's why. To these bozos I say, "Tough." I am stickin' around for quite awhile yet. I ain't dyin' till I'm good and ready, see? I got stuff to do first, like set this country right and restore honor and responsibility to the government, and achieve genuine special equality right across the board. (That's pronounced "speesh-al", not "spesh-al". It has to do with species.) When a Chimp or a Lemur or any kinda monkey gets the same respect that a human does in society, I'll know I have done my job, see?

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Nov 14 - 01:57 PM

It's a publicity stunt. They're just trying to get more people interested in Chongo. He'll dramatically "rise from the dead" out of the bullet-riddled coffin, come convention time. A marvelous bit of theatre! Let's see Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush match that.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 14 - 10:34 AM

That's no me -- I don't have, nor have I ever had, a coat like that.

Here's an interesting detail: at Chongo's funeral there was a 21-gun salute -- with live ammo, into the coffin.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 08:54 PM

Hey, I found a picture of YOU on the Net, Rap....

Rapparee with sign

Was you protestin' somethin' or just tryin' to enhance yer local profile?

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 04:52 PM

That's Chinga. You can tell by the winning smile.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Don Firth
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 02:53 PM

Cool sideburns!!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 01:45 PM

Boy, is it a great day! And boy, am I one handsome ape! Yessir. So...what am I gonna do on this amazin' day? That is the question. It is a shame I can't just post a picture here like on Facebook to show allow youse my happy smile, but I guess I can still do this...

http://www.sciencephoto.com/image/385106/350wm/Z9120081-Grinning_chimpanzee-SPL.jpg

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Ed T
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 12:00 PM

Is chongo Dead?
A more appropriate question may be:
Did he ever really have a life?

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Charmion
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 11:52 AM

Make it scan, Bill:

Bingle, bangle, bungle,
He'll rot best in the jungle
Where the bones won't show ...

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Bill D
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 11:21 AM

♫Bongo, bongo,bongo
I don't wanta bury Chongo.
Oh no, no,no, no, no, no!

Bingle, bangle, bungle,
He'll decompose best in the the jungle,
Where the evidence don't show.♫

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: frogprince
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 11:20 AM

Rap, we know that he smells like something dead, but you can't go by that alone.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 10:28 AM

Chongo=bush meat.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Charmion
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 10:07 AM

When you've been dumped on by Rapparee, you've been dissed by the best.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Rahere
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 09:59 AM

OK, who's writing the hymn?

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 09:52 AM

Rap has been losin' these arguments fer years, Gfs, but he is so used to it that he don't even notice he's losin'. He even has arguments with himself in the mirror when he can't find no one else to argue with. And he loses those too! :D Ook! Ook!

Thanks for the welcome back, Joe!

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 01:57 AM

Hmmm...Let me get this straight.....Raparree, is talking to a dead chimp, explaining to the dead chimp, that he is dead.....and losing the argument......

OK-A_-A_-A_-Y......(?)

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Don Firth
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 05:18 PM

Last I heard, Chongo was sharing an apartment on Alpha Centauri II with Cheetah from the old Tarzan movies. Elvis is alive and well in the apartment next to theirs, and Jimmie Hoffa's body (complete with concrete galoshes) is buried in the cemetery across the street.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 05:39 AM

Yes, Joe. But Chongo's still dead. Alas, poor Chongo! I knew him, Joe. He bored people silly a thousand times. A fellow of infinite ego! And see to what a mess of stinking, foul, repulsive pottage he has come! 'Twould gag a buzzard off a gut wagon when he was alive, and in his death 'twould cause the self-same bird to fall stunned and dying from the azure dome of heaven itself.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 02:32 AM

Chongo, it's about damn time you showed up around here. Good to have you back.

-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 01:38 AM

No, Ed, I was born in West Africa...but under the American flag, see? My saintly momma (bless her memory) delivered me on the grounds of a USA tradin' compound over which the Stars and Stripes was boldly flyin', thereby makin' me a citizen of the USA right from my first breath. You can find all this out by readin' the APP campaign literature. That's American Primate Party, the first party givin' full equality to apes, monkeys, humans, and lemurs. (We added in lemurs coz it would have been specist to exclude 'em.) Anyone who is a true progressive WILL vote APP. Only a specist would not, and you don't want people thinkin' you're a specist, coz that is about the worst thing you CAN be, see? It's like a racist, only even worse!!! Remember this when you vote in 2016.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 12:23 AM

Little Hawk: "You people will never kill off Chongo Chimp. He's like Sherlock Holmes or Robin Hood, he can never die. If dead, he will rise again. I suspect that he will even outlive me, his creator, just as Sherlock Holmes has outlived Conan Doyle."

You mean that stuffed chimp on the mantel isn't Chongo????

Damn!..I told those guys in Ferguson, to grab the right one, when they hit the pawn shop....told them to burn the evidence.....this whole thing was an elaborate diversion plan!!!

GfS

P.S. "Yo Ho"!!

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 09:42 PM

Who wants to see pictures of a dead chimpanzee?

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Ed T
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 09:40 PM

""Facebook is turnin' out to be a great way to spread the good news about me runnin' for president again in 2016. ""

You were born/hatched in the US of A?

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 09:37 PM

Facebook is turnin' out to be a great way to spread the good news about me runnin' for president again in 2016. And this time I am gonna win. It's more fun than this place, coz you got a lotta pictures and stuff on Facebook.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Charmion
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 04:56 PM

No such luck. The damnable creature showed up on Facebook the other day.

Gotta check my privacy settings.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Ed T
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 04:32 PM

I saw a brown fur ball blow by today-it could have been his remains?

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Rahere
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 04:27 PM

Only real gunfight ever shown was the one in Carry On Cowboy - most Boot Hill residents were shot in the back. Which shows a fine sense of rationality, if you've gotta do it, do it quick and spare the guy the knowledge his end is nigh by making certain his end is nighmost first. Never even heard the bang...

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 03:13 PM

Remember to exhale softly and pull the trigger very gently. A heavy or sudden trigger pull will throw yer aim right off every time. This was why John Wayne couldn't hit the broad side of a barn...but he was normally firin' blanks anyway. What I'm sayin' is, in a real gunfight he'd have been dead meat.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Gurney
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 03:02 PM

Nice to get input from LH. Missed him.


But I've got a new telesight now. lol.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 11:38 AM

Nice bit of creative writin', Rap. I am glad to see that yer fascination with me and my alleged demise is keepin' you busy, coz if you didn't have somethin' to keep you busy, you might get into some serious trouble, right? But makin' up stories about me keeps you off the street, and I know that yer whole community is glad of that. So keep it up. I figger it's free publicity anyways, and that can't hurt.

Subject: RE: BS: Is chongo Dead?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 09:46 AM

From the Chicago Daily News (Southtown Edition, November 24, 2014, p. A3):

A body found in the Chicago Sanitary Canal was identified today as that of Chongo Chimp, according to a report released by Cook County Medical Examiner's office. The cause of death was reported to be a spitball which was sucked in instead of being forcibly exhaled through a drinking straw.

According to witnesses, Mr. Chimp had just started to engage in a spitball fight with the North Side when "he took a big breath and started to cough and stuff," Ms. Bang-Bang LaTush told investigating officers. Further testimony elicited that Mr. Chimp wandered off, coughing and running drinking straw in and out of his mouth "apparently trying to clear the obstruction out."

He was reported to be turning a bright cerulean.

Sometime later a splash was heard but no one cared enough to investigate.

The body, called by the autopsying pathologists "the most disgusting thing ever pulled out of that open sewer" was released to claimants from the Primate Party. Mr. Chimp will be interred again at a later date.

The deceased was well know as a perennial candidate for President of the United States.