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Best 'Come-on' lines to Musicians
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Subject: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: Michael K. Date: 02 Nov 99 - 03:01 PM I was reading all the gigs from hell and the ensuring horror stories, and thought this thread might be an interested juxtaposition. I was playing a gig in Timmin's, Ontario many years ago in a rock covers band. At the time I was performing as a keyboard player, using an impressive bank of synths for the time period (ie: Mini-Moog for bass, Arp Omni, an Oberheim OBX-8, Prophet 10, and an 88 note Fender Rhodes -bring back any memories??) and playing left hand bass for the band. I was not only keeping the bass going, but moving around constantly between the other keyboards as well as contributing vocal harmonies, and I guess a young, attractive albeit drunken female in the audience was impressed with my independence, and as soon as the set was over and I came off stage, there she was standing in front of me smiling. Her comment was ''Wow! You must be half idiot, half genius!!!!!'' Without missing a beat, I smiled and said '' Tell you what? While I'm doing all that, you can shove a broom up my ass and I'll sweep the floor too!'' Anyone else have any memorable lines males or females have used on them? |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: Peter T. Date: 02 Nov 99 - 03:35 PM We have had a whole huge thread on pickup lines (maybe even two) in the past year whose name escapes me. You could check it out. yours, Peter T. |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: Allan C. Date: 02 Nov 99 - 03:43 PM Worst Pickup Lines Ever |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: Mike Billo Date: 02 Nov 99 - 03:44 PM How I met my wife. This is a true story. Back in '77, I was playing in a trio in an Irish pub called the Abbey Tavern here in San Francisco. In addition to Irish music we also played a couple of Country Western hits of the day. After our first set, a shapely lass came up to us and said, "You guys are so good. But why do you play that Country shit?" I replied, "Some people are intelligent enough to appreciate different kinds of music". We argued. 22 years and 3 children later, we still argue, and she still doesn't like country music. |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: Fortunato Date: 02 Nov 99 - 03:47 PM Michael K. There was this very folkie lady with a VW Microbus with tie-dyed curtains, etc. And late one night when I'd finished my last set she approached me, that is walked up close up to me, put her hand on my chest, looked me in the eyes and said: "Want to come over and see my snake dance?" Well I did. The snake was a smallish boa and she wore it around her neck (and she wore nothing else) while she sang and played the guitar. Neither she nor the snake actually danced.
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: Jerry Date: 02 Nov 99 - 03:58 PM Fortunato, That sounds a little like the protagonist in Frank Zappa's song "Camarillo Brillo:" She had a snake for a pet And an amulet, And she was breeding a dwarf But she wasn't done yet. She stripped away her rancid poncho And layed out naked on the floor. We did it 'til we were unconcho And it was useless anymore. |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: Fortunato Date: 02 Nov 99 - 04:06 PM Jerry, As to breeding no gentleman tells, but under her peasant dress nothing swelled, and having no real love for slithery amores Not I, quoth, Fortunato, no nevermore. |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: Steve Latimer Date: 02 Nov 99 - 04:44 PM Hey there Jerry, who you Jivin' with that Cosmic Debris? |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: Chet W. Date: 02 Nov 99 - 04:51 PM Michael, I'll have to say your reply was more memorable than the question. This was in New York, wasn't it? Chet |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: Jerry Date: 02 Nov 99 - 05:24 PM Steve, I'm thinking about moving to Montana soon. Betcha can't guess what I'll do for a living once I get there. |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: kendall Date: 02 Nov 99 - 06:21 PM I had a young woman approach me after a couple of sets at a festival, and she asked me to go home with her, I told her I couldn't do that, I was married at the time, and she said "I dont want to buy you.. just borrow you for the weekend!" I do appreciate honesty. Wonder where she is now that I'm single.... |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: Jeremiah McCaw Date: 02 Nov 99 - 06:35 PM Lousy come-on line actually, but the best put-down I've ever heard: In a bar, drunk engineering student from Western, having no luck hitting on a woman who obviously wanted nothing to do with him, decided to try the direct approach (I suspect this guy was an idiot when he was sober as well) ... walks up to her one last time and says, "How'd you like to sit on my face?" Without batting an eyelash or missing a beat, she replied, "Why? Is your nose bigger than your dick?" |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: kendall Date: 02 Nov 99 - 08:35 PM is this the same guy who asked a woman,"How do you like your eggs in the morning?" she answered, "Unfirtilized." |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: catspaw49 Date: 02 Nov 99 - 08:35 PM So Jerry....Was that a real poncho or a Sears poncho? Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: Roger in Baltimore Date: 02 Nov 99 - 08:44 PM My betrothed, Marge, approached me after an open mike set and asked if I had CD. I didn't. Then she asked me, "Do you know 'I Want to Be Seduced'?" She swears to this day she was asking about a Leon Redbone song. Roger in Baltimore |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: Den Date: 02 Nov 99 - 09:21 PM Is that a chromatic harmonica in your pocket or our you just pleased to see me? Den |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: _gargoyle Date: 02 Nov 99 - 10:36 PM Bandmember kept hitting and hitting on one waitress all night long (nice tits, great ass, small waist, long hair)....would not give up....finally packing up....he was relentless....she gave him a slip of paper with a phone number and the words "for a good time call."
Wednesday came round. We were rooming together. Watched him pull out the sheet, dial the number, and a look of puzzlement and then a smile came over his face.... he passed the phone over.....the phone voice was saying "At the tone, ATT and time is 5:20, exactly, Beeeeeppppppp."
True Story |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: lamarca Date: 02 Nov 99 - 11:48 PM My freshman year in college, my date asked me if I wanted to come to his room and see his spelunking equipment... so I went, and he actually showed me the carbide headlamp, harness, shoes, etc. He was a Chem major minoring in Geology, and really DID go caving! Nice guy, too... |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: Liam's Brother Date: 03 Nov 99 - 01:00 AM "You guys are sooooooooooooo good. I'm, um, like having a party at my house and you guys would rally, rally fit in." {Hmmmmmm, wonder if we can bring the wives and kids.}
All the best, |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: Liam's Brother Date: 03 Nov 99 - 01:16 AM And then there was, many years ago (to be honest)... "I don't care about the music. I just came to see you. I think you're wonderful." There was no girlish laugh nor brassiness about it. It was just like your mother looking you in the eye and saying, "You're a wonderful child and I love you" except that it was clearly, honestly and directly erotic. I'm sure we've all reached down underneath a desk to pick up a pencil and caught our craniums on the upward arc. It doesn't hurt at first. It's just a kinda "thwack" sensation. I felt the "thwack" in my head and heart, in my knees, at the back of my throat and the bottom of my mouth. And where else did I feel it? Oh, yeah... there too.
All the best,
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: Liam's Brother Date: 03 Nov 99 - 01:19 AM Get well, Mick. See what you're missing! |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: lamarca Date: 03 Nov 99 - 11:32 AM Jerry, could I interest you in a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers? |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: WyoWoman Date: 04 Nov 99 - 01:36 AM Well, Liam's Brother, tell us the rest of the story. Inquiring minds want to know...(Hey, if this stuff works, I might have to try it...) WyoWoman |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: Steve Latimer Date: 04 Nov 99 - 10:10 AM Hmm, love your nails. |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: Davey Date: 04 Nov 99 - 10:19 AM This isn't exactly a come-on line, more a comeback. A fellow I met at a music camp this summer once approached an attractive woman at a bar and asked her if she would like to dance. She replied, rather haughtily, "I don't dance with children." He replied, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were in that state." and walked away. Davey... (:>) |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: Lonesome EJ Date: 04 Nov 99 - 01:31 PM Kiss my Aura, Flora. It's real Angora. |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: Liam's Brother Date: 04 Nov 99 - 02:38 PM The rest of the story is... I met my wife 8 years later.
All the best, |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: MAG (inactive) Date: 04 Nov 99 - 03:29 PM The note I found under my windshield wiper once after Storytellers Guild in a bar was a new experience. |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: Michael K. Date: 04 Nov 99 - 03:42 PM Another line used on me (which I quite liked), whilst on a gig, was when an attractive woman came up to me (who'd been smiling and eye-balling me all night), and while I was tearing down, asked point blank "Do you want to have breakfast?" I went over to the band leader (an empathetic soul bless his heart) and said "Listen, I have a situation here that I have to act on immediately while she's still in impulse mode. Can you and the other guys schlepp my stuff to the truck and load it, so I can split now?" He winked, smiled and said "Go for it." I confess I'm a total sucker for attractive women with good lines...both verbal and spacial. (grin) |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: Alice Date: 04 Nov 99 - 06:22 PM Jerry, don't bother moving here. All the dental floss ranches have been sold and made into subdivisions. Now, if you want to be a real estate tycoon instead, you may have a chance. Alice Flynn in Montana |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: Big Mick Date: 04 Nov 99 - 07:46 PM Dan, I laughed like hell at the Getaway when one of our magnificent Mudcat women (who shall remain nameless) came up to me, smiled and said..............."I want to bear your child". I was very grateful for the complement, and chuckled my big Irish arse off over it. There was another encounter at the break of a gig I was playing about 30 lbs. ago, where a tall, lovely REDHEAD (some of the Almighty's best work) came up to me, took me by the shoulders and turned me around, very obviously looked at my tusch, and said, "Nice wheels, can I take 'em for a test drive?". I do dearly love strong, aggressive women. |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: Liam's Brother Date: 04 Nov 99 - 07:59 PM Pardon me for saying so but, judging by what you were driving at the Getaway, you could use a new set of wheels.
Glad to have you back among the living, Mick. All the best, |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: Roger the skiffler Date: 05 Nov 99 - 06:15 AM The young Betty Bacall sashayed up to the bandstand and said: "You know how to play the kazoo, don't you? Just put it between your lips and hum." And then I woke up. RtS |
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Subject: RE: Best ''Come-on'' lines to Musicians From: Mudjack Date: 05 Nov 99 - 08:04 PM One of my first paying gigs was a VFW on Saint Paddy's Day and my fee was $25 ,Corned beef dinners for two(wife and I) plus the tip jar. I did two sets of songs 20 minutes each and finally sat down to dinner with my wife and two other couples. Both couples had been drinking . But a gal at the table reached in her purse and handed me a $20 bill with one hand telling me how much she really enjoyed the music and with the other was reaching and moving her hand up my leg totally catching me off guard and embarresed the hell out of me. I scooted my chair back and kept her at bay. That was a COME ON line if I ever seen one. Now that I'm an old poop, I can't even get a suggestion of a come on.Besides, I like being and staying married. Mudjack |
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