BS: Proud to be insulted by a master

Subject: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: gnu
Date: 26 Apr 13 - 10:33 AM

I asked a number of friends for comments on something (thanks again), especially any negative comments. One reply had me LMAO. With permission, here is his reply, edited by me when not in quotations...

A few positive comments....

"Now for the negative comments: You're ugly. Your dog is ugly. Everyone in your Province is ugly -- "NB" means "Nobody Beautiful".   For a bodhran player your music's surprisingly good for someone who only embezzles when he's drunk. You're so woods-savvy that you'd starve trying to find your way out of an open box. You think logarithms are something lumberjacks dance to. You think that the Prime Minister is the fourth person of the Trinity. You couldn't figure out a load coefficient if someone else did it for you."

There.....

Rapparee


Thanks, buddy! You have a gift.

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 26 Apr 13 - 10:45 AM

Gnu, dear, I think he just copied that stuff and pasted it. Probably googled "Canada insults hunting" to find it.

Kinda baffling about the load-coefficient thing, though. He may have made that one up himself.

The "You're ugly. Your dog is ugly." may be a tip-off. The apostrophe is in the right place. Somethin funny going on there.
============
Do you play the bodhran? I never knew that.

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 26 Apr 13 - 10:47 AM

"You're ugly. Your dog is ugly." Might you just have the captions reversed?

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: Midchuck
Date: 26 Apr 13 - 10:52 AM

I copied and pasted this into my "quotes" file years ago, and I have no idea from where. The guy who posted it said:

From a Spanish novel I read years ago, can't remember anything else about it, but I scribbled this down, and have carried it around (could be Machado)

"When I look at you, my soul remembers cold bitter nights without women, it remembers standing outside happy bars with no money in my pockets, wandering heartsick in cities far from my home, the first time I was betrayed by a friend, the day I lost my first job, and the only time I saw my father in tears. When I listen to you speak, I hear the wind of death in the desert, the empty sound of a emptied wine bottle, and the silence after the good have all gone to heaven, and the evil have all gone to hell. When I think about you, I wonder what God was thinking when he made you, and it undermines my faith in his goodness, and threatens my deep belief in a universe of love."

Peter

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: gnu
Date: 26 Apr 13 - 10:59 AM

leeneia... I used to play but arthritis and a nasty ganglion on my wrist have reduced me to try to play only once (2 days ago) in at least several years. But I still have my Hrans... nobody will buy them. >;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 26 Apr 13 - 12:57 PM

Well, heck. But perhaps someday you'll be able to play again.

My husband is a gifted player but rarely plays. Nothing makes my heart lift like the times he suddenly gets inspired and joins us when we our little band is playing in the living room.

It's not that he's stuck up. He has to wait for a piece of music that 'feels right' for him.

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 26 Apr 13 - 01:00 PM

"It's not that he's stuck up. He has to wait for a piece of music that 'feels right' for him."

He's a good man. I've heard that Gnu was kicked out of a session once for playing his bodhran along with a harp player doing "Candle in the Wind."

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 26 Apr 13 - 01:13 PM

Please, no dog is ugly!



(Couldn't help it, Gnu. )

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: frogprince
Date: 26 Apr 13 - 01:20 PM

Umm...Q...that is at least debatable

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: gnu
Date: 26 Apr 13 - 01:22 PM

True. I mean what JtS said about what leeneia said about her hubby. Hran players who join in a tune when they shouldn't give Hran(ner)s a bad name. I've had people get pissed off at me for refusing to play or if they found out I had turned my mic off in purpose. I am darn good at lip sync too, when it's required.

As for anything else JtS says, well, let's just say, I shant be bothered to insult him; ya know eh?

Although, after the fourth or fifth thousand time ya hear that song, well, ya know, eh? >;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: gnu
Date: 26 Apr 13 - 01:30 PM

Odd. Amos must be too busy or has missed this thread. I had expected a dual between Masters to begin before this. Too bad we can't sell tickets with the proceeds going to Mudcat.

Will either of them ask LH to be a second or might it be a three-way? I hear they are into that sort of thing.

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 26 Apr 13 - 03:15 PM

Gnu - You haven't got an inferiority complex. You are inferior.

:D tG

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: Don Firth
Date: 26 Apr 13 - 04:39 PM

I don't encounter many bodhran players (Bodhranists? Bodhraners?) here where I dwell, but the bodhran of the early 1960s was a set of bongos. Inexpensive, and those with no talent (Or sense of rhythm. Or musical taste. Or taste of any kind) thought they were a way of participating in the music making without having to learn anything.

So I'm singing my regular gig in a coffeehouse one evening, and this guy with a brand new set of bongos is trying to bonk and bang along with everything I'm singing. I'm beginning to seethe a bit, but he is a paying customer. Then someone asks me to do "Greensleeves."

I do about three carefully selected verses out of the multitude available, and utilizing my classical guitar skills, I accompany it as if I were playing the lute. I figure, "Okay, this guy will probably leave me alone on this one."

Wrong!

I launch into it and he tries to accompany with the only rhythm he seems to know. Calypso.

The owner of the coffeehouse came out of the kitchen, picked up the guy's check, and quietly asked him to take his bongos and leave.

People should be required to get a license and have a background check before they're allowed to buy bongos or a bodhran.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 26 Apr 13 - 05:07 PM

Good story, Don and I do get your point. But bongos are a lot more forgiving that Bodhrans

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Apr 13 - 11:08 PM

I've been taught to play the "talking drums" of West Africa.

Yes, I wrote the above that gnu quoted. I could have written more, but too much negativity can spoil his whole day. I understand that once, when he was computing the heaving coefficient of an aluminized water-gel slurry he misplaced the decimal places on his abacus and pretty much caused most of the Newfoundland permafrost to shimmy and his boss to heave him. (If you don't know what I'm talking about it's probably better that way.)

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: Amos
Date: 26 Apr 13 - 11:34 PM

I wouldn't worry about it, Gnuzer. Rapparee is a specialist. Being insulted by him is like getting driving directions from a world-class proctologist. He has been a nullification expert for so long his mother is afraid he might call. He scares small children. He has to file flight plans with the local cops in Pocatello to drive down the street, so they can get the innocent bystanders out of his way. ANd by the way, he keeps his dog in a buried freezer chest in back of his house and only lets him out in moonlight. He's not in any position to call our dogs ugly.

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Apr 13 - 01:21 AM

He also has the very bad sense to constantly insult Chongo, an ape of sterling qualities before whom Rapparee carries the comparative authority of a common street urchin hurling spitballs at an Einstein or a Da Vinci. There is sooooooo much Rapparee could learn from Chongo to improve himself, but will he? No! He persists in maligning the one primate who could guide him out of the darkness of his present sordid existence and into the light of sanity, reason, and compassion.

I almost tear up when I think about it...

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Apr 13 - 08:40 AM

Would it be maligning to call Heinrich Himmler a bad ol' nasty man or I wouldn't want to eat at Jeffrey Dahmer's place?

Chonga has nothing to teach me -- I reached satori years ago and am a Peace. Chonga, on the other hand, actually BRAGS about the lives he's ended and makes unnecessary violence something to be desired. I tell the truth and hope that s/he can eventually reach the point when s/he can Accept what s/he is. It is only by such Acceptance that Chonga can hope to let whatever passes for inner beauty shine out (although I fear that what passes for inner beauty and peace for Chonga most closely resembles what is left on the ground after a herd of horses passes by).

As for Amos -- what can be said about a banjo-pickin' nose picker from the backwater hills of Connecticut that hasn't already been said? Just don't borrow a stringed instrument from him, for he picks as he picks.

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 27 Apr 13 - 10:24 AM

Rap, I think you should know...Satori is NOT a crummy little town in north California, see? And it's not the name of a cheap whore in Dallas either. You follow? If it was either of those things, I could buy the notion that you had reached it at some point, but you have not. In fact, to say you have would be like sayin' that Woody Allen has become a strong, silent man of few words...the next Clint Walker, no less.

Laughable!

- Chongo

p.s. For the benefit of them readin' this thread...when you been insulted by ME....you KNOW you been insulted by a Master.

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 27 Apr 13 - 11:44 AM

Maybe bated by a master.

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: catspaw49
Date: 27 Apr 13 - 12:11 PM

College Prof to Larry Fowler after about 3 weeks of class where Mr. Fowler did nothing but brownnose:

"Mr. Fowler, you are without a doubt the most unmitigated asshole I have ever had the singular displeasure of having met."


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 27 Apr 13 - 12:18 PM

You sure that wasn't fouler?

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 27 Apr 13 - 12:20 PM

Long time ago I solved an IT technical problem that one of my staff had been wrestling with. She said "I didn't know you knew anything about that", I said "I'm not just a pretty face, you know".

She said "who told you that?".

Ouch!

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 27 Apr 13 - 01:23 PM

Nice one, JTS - I'll borrow that if I may :-)

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 27 Apr 13 - 05:59 PM

Sure thing, But if they use it in a screenplay I want a piece of the back end. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: gnu
Date: 27 Apr 13 - 09:49 PM

Oh, now, THERE is an opening. But, *I* am a gentleman.

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 13 - 12:02 AM

Chonga Chimp is actually mean, perverse, nasty and filthy in habits, mind, and genetic makeup. But I must admit that s/he is undoubtedly the most pseudosincere pseudosimian I have had the pleasure of addressing since Noah kicked them off the Ark on the second rainy day.

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 13 - 10:09 AM

A true disappointment to his/her ancestors and disgusting to her/his contemporaries.

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 28 Apr 13 - 10:17 AM

And it takes a lot of monumental bad behavior to disappoint a mother who is a monkey.

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: Ed T
Date: 28 Apr 13 - 11:09 AM

"I'm interested in the opinions of an asshole."
The Sessions, John Hawkes

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: Ed T
Date: 28 Apr 13 - 11:27 AM

"Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes."

"Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through."

Both: Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult, 1994, Leslie Nielsen

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: Ed T
Date: 28 Apr 13 - 11:40 AM

To other perspectives

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 13 - 12:07 PM

When she was young, before the gender-bender operation, Chonga's mother was most disappointed in Chonga's inaccuracy in poop-flinging. Right hand, left hand, either foot -- never could hit anywhere near the target. Then one day, after a dinner high in fiber and flatulence-inducing vegetables, Chonga's true weapon of accuracy was discovered when she bent over to pick up an uneaten scrap of termite and she blinded the leader of the pack.

That's why they called her
Pooper of the pack.

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: gnu
Date: 29 Apr 13 - 10:09 AM

Zat all ye lot got?

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 13 - 02:19 PM

gnu, their erudition is exceeded only by their tenuous yet weakening grasp of reality.

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: Ed T
Date: 29 Apr 13 - 07:57 PM

""their erudition is exceeded only by their tenuous yet weakening grasp of reality"".

Let's not get the religious discussions going again;)

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 30 Apr 13 - 01:49 AM

I had to check out the reference to 'Candle in the Wind,' a song I never heard of. I found this:

respectful audience

All I gotta say is, if gnu's in there, you guys had better stop teasing him.

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: GUEST,ollaimh
Date: 30 Apr 13 - 10:01 AM

q says that because he makes an ugly dog look beautiful.

and gnu he's definitely got your number

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: Megan L
Date: 30 Apr 13 - 11:16 AM

There is a big difference between a well crafted insult and someone being nasty because they have taken a dislike to someone guest 10:01 am appears to be the later since they only ever appear on threads about Gnu with snide nasty comments.

Subject: RE: BS: Proud to be insulted by a master
From: gnu
Date: 30 Apr 13 - 03:44 PM

Megan... and I appreciate every time he rears his ugly head. More proof that olly is just what olly is.

Yo... olly b'y... you, sir, are a drain on natural resources and I suggest you do the earth a favour in ceasing and desisting from futher intake of water, sustinence and air so that some other organism more worthy may survive such as a worm or snail or algae.