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BS: Favourite Insult
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Subject: Favourite Insult From: Patrish(inactive) Date: 10 Nov 99 - 11:50 AM "Nice face, what you gonna do when the baboon wants his backside back"
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Allan C. Date: 10 Nov 99 - 11:59 AM Oh, yeah! Like this is going to be a productive thread! It's stuff like this that really gets me steamed. In fact, I wouldn't spit on you if your hair was on fire! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: JedMarum Date: 10 Nov 99 - 12:03 PM "Yes Lady," said a young man sitting on the bar stool, "I am drunk - but you're ugly, and in the morning; I'll be sober!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Patrish(inactive) Date: 10 Nov 99 - 12:03 PM Oh yeah....may the fleas of a 1000 camels infest your erogenous zones. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Den Date: 10 Nov 99 - 12:08 PM The best part of you ran down your mother's leg. Den (whatever that means) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Clifton53 Date: 10 Nov 99 - 12:09 PM If my dog had a face like yours, I'd shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Bert Date: 10 Nov 99 - 12:10 PM You wouldn't know your prick from your thumb if it didn't have a nail on it! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Tony Burns Date: 10 Nov 99 - 12:28 PM "Do you know what I like about you?" "Nothing." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Melbert Date: 10 Nov 99 - 12:41 PM " Hello handsome! - (I must do something about these glasses!)" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: catspaw49 Date: 10 Nov 99 - 12:42 PM Profane as I often am, most of my favorites are beyond what even I would post here. The last time I posted something of that sort was in a ridiculous attempt to vent some anger, and to say it didn't come off would be to put it mildly. I am partial to one that rolled out of my mouth one time and I've used it around here occasionally. "You are without a doubt the most unmitigated asshole I've ever had the singular displeasure of having meant." .....and I think I'll leave it at that. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Bert Date: 10 Nov 99 - 12:46 PM You metamorphosing pollywog! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Melbert Date: 10 Nov 99 - 12:49 PM In similar vein, one of our (UK) newspapers this week printed some "a**econs" (as opposed to "emoticons" - the little smiley faces constructed from puntuation marks. (_!_) = fat arse (!) = tight arse (_$_) = money coming out of his arse (_e=mc2_) = (yes, you guessed, "smart arse". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: bob schwarer Date: 10 Nov 99 - 01:02 PM What's a girl like you doing iin a nice place like this? Bob S. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Blackcat2 Date: 10 Nov 99 - 01:03 PM I tend to insult men (hell, women too) by calling them a "Penile impliment". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Clifton53 Date: 10 Nov 99 - 01:05 PM Your such a loser, if you fell into a barrel of tits you'd come up sucking your thumb! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: MMario Date: 10 Nov 99 - 01:15 PM tell me, did your parents have any children who lived? Is your intellect natural, or did you have to study to get that stupid? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: sophocleese Date: 10 Nov 99 - 01:24 PM You'd look good on a meat hook. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Midchuck Date: 10 Nov 99 - 01:27 PM "You couldn't get laid in a womens' prison with a handful of blank pardons!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: MMario Date: 10 Nov 99 - 01:28 PM PLEASE NOTE: THIS ONE IS USED ONLY IN THE CONTEXT OF REN_FAIRE - ONLY AT ONE FAIRE (that I know of)_ AND NO OFFENSE IS MEANT TO ANYONE WHO MIGHT ACTUALLY HAIL FROM THERE: You're from Shropshire, aren't you? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Áine Date: 10 Nov 99 - 01:37 PM I know this one may seem tame by the standards set by the rest of you; however, this is one my mother (who NEVER cursed) would use when you REALLY got her dander up: You don't have the sense God gave a piss ant! -- Áine |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Liz the Squeak Date: 10 Nov 99 - 01:39 PM Liam, that was actually Sir Winston Churchill who said that, but it does work nicely. Another one of his is: Lady Astor (or Bessie Braddock, we can't remember) to Sir Winston: 'Sir Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee!' Sir Winston: 'Madam, if I were your husband, I would drink it!' My favourite is - to a bloke... 'Are you circumcised? Threw away the wrong bit didn't they.' LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Allan C. Date: 10 Nov 99 - 01:45 PM Put your brain in a crow and it'd fly backwards! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Dave Swan Date: 10 Nov 99 - 02:39 PM Critic. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Mbo Date: 10 Nov 99 - 02:44 PM "Yeah, you're beautiful like the back end of a frying pan." (An old Italian insult) --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: MMario Date: 10 Nov 99 - 02:46 PM okay, that one is getting REALLY nasty! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Durham Lad Date: 10 Nov 99 - 03:25 PM One heckler put down I heard at a concert was "Madam; would you mind shutting up, I've only got an hour to earn my living you've got all night to earn yours! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: cravinboy Date: 10 Nov 99 - 03:33 PM Tom Waits to a loud audience member recently;"I thought I told you wait in the car!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Fortunato Date: 10 Nov 99 - 03:33 PM You couldn't play in the sandbox as a child, the cat would come and cover you up. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: kendall Date: 10 Nov 99 - 03:37 PM The late Jud Strunk (Daisey a day) had a mean one.. a drunken woman heckler.. finally he said "Give me a break lady, I wouldn't pull the mattress out from under you while you were working." One of my favorites.."Listen pecker breath.." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Micca Date: 10 Nov 99 - 03:46 PM They ruined a good arse when they put teeth in your mouth. an old Scouse(Liverpool) insult. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: sophocleese Date: 10 Nov 99 - 04:00 PM Overachiever. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Ade Date: 10 Nov 99 - 04:57 PM If you had another brain cell you'd qualify for pond life! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Llanfair Date: 10 Nov 99 - 05:00 PM OK, MMario, what's wrong with Shropshire???????? My favourite is "call those laughter lines? nothing's that funny" Hwyl, Bron. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Bert Date: 10 Nov 99 - 05:10 PM Then there's the one Billy Connolly used in 'Raw Meat for the Balcony' Does your mouth bleed every 28 days? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: MAG (inactive) Date: 10 Nov 99 - 06:08 PM "You will never need to know." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Les B Date: 10 Nov 99 - 06:34 PM "If brains were dynamite you wouldn't have enough to physic a piss ant" and, as a threat to child or man "I'll kick your ass so hard you'll be shiting out of your collar"
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: catspaw49 Date: 10 Nov 99 - 06:47 PM The great and wonderfully brilliant George S. Kaufman was sitting beside a woman at a dinner party one night. She rambled on continuously through the meal and as dessert was being served, Kaufman turned to her and asked, "Madam, do you have any unexpressed thoughts?" Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: DonMeixner Date: 10 Nov 99 - 06:48 PM "Why weren't you born twins, you could be twice as Stupid?" As said by Howard Arlen in the film "China Clipper. " I wouldn't p*** up your ass if your guts was on fire!" onr of my favorites. Don |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Bert Date: 10 Nov 99 - 06:58 PM refresh |
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Subject: Favourite Insult From: MandolinPaul Date: 10 Nov 99 - 08:03 PM Did you shit your brain? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Bill D Date: 10 Nov 99 - 09:57 PM heard an old carpenter say once, when shaking his head about the boss... "Some folks ain't got the sense God give a retarded rubber duck" I guess it coud be a direct insult, too. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Frankie Date: 10 Nov 99 - 10:24 PM If she had as many dicks sticking out of her as was stuck in her she'd look like a porcupine. (Where's my choclolate Squeak. Snigger, snigger indeed!) F |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Bugsy Date: 10 Nov 99 - 10:26 PM "He just had an arsehole transplant - the arsehole rejected him!" cheers Bugsy |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Brendy Date: 10 Nov 99 - 10:47 PM "I know two assholes in this town....and you're both of them!". "Oh look!. I've got a pubic hair in my drink. Don't recognise it, do you?" Bren. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Michael K. Date: 10 Nov 99 - 10:58 PM The movie ''Ferris Bueller's Day Off'' had a very memorable line. ''He was so uptight, if you shoved a lump of coal up his ass, 24 hours later you'd have a diamond.'' |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Michael K. Date: 10 Nov 99 - 11:04 PM Another great put down line, used by a woman fending off the advances of an aggressive male: ''If you make love to me, and I find out about it....''
Others that come to mind to describe dim people: - 3 bricks short of a load (I'll stop here...) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Brendy Date: 10 Nov 99 - 11:20 PM How about "He was soo tight (mean) he could peel an orange in his pocket with a boxing glove on" Feeble really. However. A good few years ago one of my elder brothers and I were out having a few pints with my then soon to be brother in law. My brother had bought the first round, 3 pints. After a while I bought a round, 3 pints again. We were getting to the bottom of these ones, and the natural progression would have been for our family's newest member to decorate the mahogany next. Well we waited, and waited, and yer man was making no gestures that indicated loads of pints were imminent. My brother eventually looked at him and said "Is your arm OK these days Joe?" Joe, a little confused "what do you mean?" "No, it's just I thought it was broke the way you were buyin' all those pints" le meas Bren. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: Jeri Date: 10 Nov 99 - 11:24 PM This past weekend, I heard "a couple of fries short of a Happy Meal." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: ddw Date: 10 Nov 99 - 11:57 PM Hey, I know your mother. She always runs out from under the porch and bites my ankle. david |
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Subject: RE: BS: Favourite Insult From: WyoWoman Date: 11 Nov 99 - 01:03 AM These are from the Elizabethan Curse Generator:
http://robin-nvh.bvsd.k12.co.us/~tstone/curse/
Thou wenching boil-brained maggot-pie! ww |