Curmudgeon In Hospice - [November 2013]

Subject: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 09 Oct 13 - 08:51 PM

Well...I certainly did not expect this when I took Tom to a 12:30 appointment at the wound clinic. Tom's left ankle and heel wounds seem fine... But the doctor was concerned about the difficulty of getting Tom's blood pressure (it's always complicated) and heart rate (likewise) and, telling for her, Tom's feet and hands seemed a lot colder than usual.

So... She suggested having him checked out and evaluated in the ER. That was 1:30 this afternoon. Tom's blood pressure fluctuates wildly between normal (for him) and very very low. They sucked a bunch of blood out of him to run some tests, and he had an EKG and chest x-ray. The results are unclear. It could he's just dehydrated. It could be the start of an infection (which is potentially life-threatening because he has replacement heart parts). It could be both.

So tonight after putting in a central line, he's been admitted to the CCU to at least try to get his BP stabilized.

He feels fine. No dizziness, no real problems of any kind that would have made us go either to Lee Urgent Care or the Wentworth-Douglass ER. But if something's brewing he's in the right place to head it off at the pass rather than waiting until it presented itself as a crisis.

I had planned some R&R for myself tonight -- going to see our friend Cecil Abels perform at The Press Room. I didn't let Cecil know on Facebook that I was planning on coming lest I jinx myself. Sigh. That approach didn't seem to work out too well. I just got home from the hospital at 8:15 and made myself something to eat (and fed the cats because they were getting twitchy). Neither Tom nor I had anything since breakfast. Sigh. I still really need the R&R, but I'm not driving to Portsmouth right now...

For the past month or so, Tom's been having a lot of tests done on his vascular situation (his circulation sucks -- especially in his left leg where the wounds are), and last week Tom's cardiologist decided Tom was too fragile to have the surgery his vascular guy was suggesting (a couple stents and/or bypass from right leg to left). Too risky. Of course, doing nothing also has its risks.

White light, prayers, good thoughts, etc. definitely welcomed.

Thanks, Mudcat friends, for being here.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Noreen
Date: 09 Oct 13 - 09:04 PM

Sorry to hear this, Linn- you've had no end of worries for some time.

The good thing is that, as you say, Tom feels fine.

They'll get him stabilised -we'll keep the positive thoughts winging their way to both of you so that you can get some sleep!

Noreen

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 13 - 09:07 PM

One negative thought: You tell him I said to STOP THAT!! RIGHT NOW!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 09 Oct 13 - 09:40 PM

Just talked to Tom (9:38pm) -- he's settled into his room in the CCU. I'll call him again in the morning and then go over to see him.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Jeri
Date: 09 Oct 13 - 09:58 PM

I'm swearing on your behalf.
Sleep well. I'm wishing in your general direction. A better tomorrow.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 Oct 13 - 10:11 PM

Linn, if he had to go into the hospital better that they're catching something early than when it becomes a crisis. Get a good night's sleep, and I'm wishing both you and Tom all the best.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 09 Oct 13 - 10:23 PM

Hospital is a very good place to be when things are whatif-y

Sending lots of good thoughts to the patient & the carer.

Both of you - rest & get well!

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Oct 13 - 10:26 PM

What SRS said...and more good thoughts and wishes-- for BOTH of you. ♥♥♥♥

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: gnu
Date: 09 Oct 13 - 11:13 PM

Yeah, I'll ditto SRS too. My thoughts and prayers as well.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: JennieG
Date: 09 Oct 13 - 11:21 PM

And ditto to you both from me, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Megan L
Date: 10 Oct 13 - 03:25 AM

Hope you see an improvement soon

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: gnu
Date: 10 Oct 13 - 06:23 AM

"Ditto" may take on a new convention if this internet thing catches on.

DITTO!

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: maeve
Date: 10 Oct 13 - 07:00 AM

Love to you and Tom, Linn. You could sing Tam Lin while you have your visit.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST,kendall
Date: 10 Oct 13 - 07:11 AM

Does he know that he is the only one who can fill the spot he has around here?
TOM! don't make me come down there!

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 10 Oct 13 - 07:20 AM

Best wishes and good thoughts for you both from Staffordshire.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: ranger1
Date: 10 Oct 13 - 07:43 AM

Tell Tom to CUT THAT OUT! Seriously, though, sending warm fuzzies and good thoughts his way (and yours, too).

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: LilyFestre
Date: 10 Oct 13 - 08:13 AM

Thinking of you and Tom.
Lots of Love,

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: MMario
Date: 10 Oct 13 - 09:03 AM

I will echo Tami.....both the "cut it out!" and the warm fuzzies being sent your way.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Oct 13 - 10:43 AM

Best thoughts for you both. When you have multiple problems everything you do becomes a balancing act.   The effect of a med or even the wrong food and upset the whole thing sometimes temporarily but significantly. Hang in Tom....I know your "pain."

Replacement heart parts can be quite handy because they get people moving pretty fast and you get to go to the front of the line. Saying "I think I'm developing an infection and I have an artificial mitral valve," generally even gets you past old ladies and children.


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 Oct 13 - 12:24 PM

Thinking of you both. Hope they can sort some sort of plan out to get Tom healthier.
Damn!
mary

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Elmore
Date: 10 Oct 13 - 12:51 PM

My wife and I have multiple health issues, so, to a degree, we know how you feel. We wish you both the best.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Firecat
Date: 10 Oct 13 - 01:46 PM

Get well soon!

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 10 Oct 13 - 03:34 PM

Zounds! At least it was good that general appointment noted problem and sent Mr. Tom in the right direction. Hoping proper diagnosis and successful treatment comes quickly.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: jacqui.c
Date: 10 Oct 13 - 04:28 PM

Lots of good thoughts for Tom's early release.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: KathWestra
Date: 10 Oct 13 - 04:47 PM

Hugs and hopes and warmest light-filled wishes to you both. Glad Tom's in a place where he will be getting the best of care. And VERY glad he has an observant doc. xoxo

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST,gnulaptop
Date: 10 Oct 13 - 04:55 PM

Yeah... good docs are hard to find at times.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST,eldergirl on another computer
Date: 10 Oct 13 - 05:28 PM

getting older has its good side, but the other
side of it can be such Crap. hang in there Linn and Tom, there are folks rooting for you all over the world, me included.

x el

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: billybob
Date: 10 Oct 13 - 06:09 PM

sending my love too!

Please go to the Rainbow thread, so many good folks there who would like to add their love and positive thoughts Linn, it works for me, I have more loving support from the crew there than I have from my friends I see everyday!!

Wendy xxxxx

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 10 Oct 13 - 08:01 PM

I was concerned but not worried yesterday and earlier today. Right now I think I'm more worried than I was in 2004 when Tom had his heart surgery (aortic valve replaced, tricuspid repaired, double bypass and defibrillator installed).

Tom is still in the CCU at Wentworth-Douglass and the doctor is flummoxed. Tom's blood pressure is still fluctuating wildly, between what's normal (for him) and extremely low. He FEELS fine. And would really like to come home. Doesn't have the symptoms he SHOULD be having, but, then again, they really don't know what the source of the problem is.

I just left him (around 7 pm) after being left in the waiting room for an 2-1/2 hours while they put in an A-line -- and it ended up in his right wrist so it DOESN'T give a more accurate BP than the cuff on his left arm, which is what it was supposed to do.

I just don't know why Tom was okay until the doctor at his regular appointment at the wound clinic decided to send him to the ER to be evaluated because his feet were colder than usual. And he's had an incredible amount of tests lately because the vascular doc (through the wound clinic) was gathering information for potential vascular surgery.

I hope to be able to talk to Tom's cardiologist by phone tomorrow and see if he can give me any advice as to what Tom's going through right now. He doesn't work out of this hospital. And there's another doctor/friend I want to talk to. I'm just not sure I'm up to it tonight.

I'm going to go shower and wash my hair and then find something to eat.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 10 Oct 13 - 10:11 PM

And I'm a bit confused, too.

If Tom's problem is with his heart (complicated by his sucky circulation), why is his doctor an intensivist (well, that I can see) and pulmonologist who seems flummoxed at Tom's symptoms (or lack of typical symptoms)?

I'm going to bed.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: KT
Date: 10 Oct 13 - 10:17 PM

Hang in there, Linn, and best to you and Tom. Hope they figure this out soon and that Tom's deemed well enough to come home.
KT

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 10 Oct 13 - 10:41 PM

Oh, no! I hope the medical people figure out what's wrong quickly and help Tom improve. Hugs to you both.

I thought about adding this to the Jane's Rainbow thread, but I don't know if you'll have time to look at two threads.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Oct 13 - 12:12 AM

Sometimes there's not a simple answer. I hope the doctors sort this one out to Tom's satisfaction. Our best to you, Linn, and know that we're hoping for more positive updates.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: gnu
Date: 11 Oct 13 - 06:49 AM

Hope you get to chat with Tom's doc today. Hope you got some rest. Ts&Ps from here.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: RoyH (Burl)
Date: 11 Oct 13 - 07:20 AM

Prayers and Good Thoughts coming across the ocean. Love from Roy & Elaine Harris

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: sciencegeek
Date: 11 Oct 13 - 09:43 AM

stay strong & also take care of yourself.

Health is a complex balancing act and right now the doctors are looking to identify what is out of kilter so they can address it. We start with the "usual suspects" and then widen the search if more info is needed to turn the puzzle into a picture.

Poor circulation is a symtom that should never be dismissed, so try to relax while they figure out just what is going on... easy to say, I know, but you need to keep your balance up as well.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Jeri
Date: 11 Oct 13 - 09:56 AM

While both doctors' confusion and Tom's bad circulation are nothing new, I hope they can figure out how to help him. Perhaps it might take a discussion with his cardiologist. (Not telling Linn anything she doesn't know--just being here and blabbing.)

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 11 Oct 13 - 10:28 AM

Heading over to the hospital. Haven't been able to talk to any of my advisors (although I talked to Tom's cardiologist's nurse).

I will be at the Friday Press Room session (being Tom, so to speak) at least for the early part.

I would like some reassurance that either a) Tom's being in the CCU is right and good or b) that my wanting answers and reasons and more advice is keeping Tom from getting set back just by the inactivity of being in a hospital bed with more tubes than Carter has pills coming out of him.

He still FEELS fine!

But this morning I think I averted a crisis. When I called he said he really needed to cough but couldn't because he couldn't sit up. I called the CCU back and had them get a nurse in there so Tom COULD cough. Cough suppression is what landed him in the CCU last February (pneumonia) sedated and on a vent.

I'm TRYING to keep them from killing him!

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST,Lauren
Date: 11 Oct 13 - 04:51 PM

Sobering news. I am wishing you both strength and healing.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: gnu
Date: 11 Oct 13 - 07:21 PM

Frustrating as all get out! Hang in there... BOTH of you.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 11 Oct 13 - 08:36 PM

More hugs, love, and prayers from here, Linn.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 11 Oct 13 - 09:55 PM

Things were better when I got to the hospital. I found Tom sitting up in a chair and, for the time being at least, his BP seemed to be stabilizing. He's in good humor, still feeling quite well, very alert and not as bored. Yesterday he ended up listening to the History Channel, so even though it's not his favorite -- NHPR -- he's still getting something to keep his mind occupied when I'm not there to read to him.

He can't have any food as they don't want his stomach and lower GI to steal blood from his heart, kidneys and brain.

I read to him most of the day -- online articles that I printed out plus a few more chapters of M.F.K. Fisher's "The Gastronomical Me" from "The Art of Eating." That got him thinking somehow about making an orange upside down cake so we discussed modifications to a pineapple upside down cake to experiment with sometime when he gets home.

Had a pretty decent talk with his doctor (well, I guess one of them -- I haven't met the cardiologist yet). He's more or less narrowed it down to his heart, but Tom's been dealing with congestive heart failure for years. Why things changed so suddenly and in ways he couldn't tell it was happening, I still haven't a clue. I still need to talk to a couple advisors -- an old friend who's a doctor (and was actually Tom's doctor before his heart surgery) and his cardiologist of the past 10 years. Also told Dr. Al-Alwan that Tom's cardiologist sent some of Tom's history over to him, so he'll go look for the information. (Why did didn't REQUEST it, I have no idea.)

I think I'm feeling less frantic and a bit more at ease. (For what that's worth.)

I "was Tom" at tonight's Press Room session, sitting in Tom's seat and making sure everyone got a chance to lead a song. And collected a bunch of much needed hugs (which are much better in person than as cyber hugs, although those are appreciated, too.)

Right now I think I should go to bed.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Megan L
Date: 12 Oct 13 - 03:16 AM

Lets hope things continue to improve and they find the actual cause so they can hopefully prevent it in future

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: open mike
Date: 12 Oct 13 - 04:12 AM

Sending healing thoughts for Tom and energy to Linn as being a care giver can be stressfull. It is so important to have you as an advocate to help with sending medical history reports, and co-ordinating the different specialists...so hang in there, both of you!

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: gnu
Date: 12 Oct 13 - 06:09 AM

"I think I'm feeling less frantic and a bit more at ease. (For what that's worth.)"

A lot!

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 12 Oct 13 - 10:24 AM

I'm sending you both virtual hugs for now and hope some day to give you real ones.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Mrrzy
Date: 12 Oct 13 - 04:55 PM

Many thoughts for both of you!

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: RoyH (Burl)
Date: 12 Oct 13 - 05:37 PM

More hugs and thoughts from the Harris family.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Oct 13 - 12:36 PM

Hoping for the best but will settle for better.

Charlie and Judy, still in Sacramento

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Oct 13 - 01:07 PM

Here's hoping all of these doctors get back to you soon so you can weigh the options. I'm glad you got out to the musical evening!

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Oct 13 - 07:30 PM

So, I am going to try Dragon naturally speaking. I am using Windows 8. I think this version of Dragon naturally speaking is 12. It works. Submit message. I'll figure that out.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 14 Oct 13 - 10:41 AM

Did I mention earlier that Tom can, indeed, have visitors and phone calls and that the phone number of the Critical Care Unit is 603-740-2294?

I spent most of the afternoon reading to Tom yesterday ("Gastronomic Me" by M.F.K. Fisher) and then later in the afternoon visited some friends closeby for R&R, beer, and puppy cuddles and face licks. Then I went back to the hospital to say goodnight to Tom. Talked to the cardiologist at that time -- he's been reducing the amount of whatever drug they've been giving Tom to boost and stabilize his blood pressure to ween him off it, and says he thinks Tom may be released in a few days. Tom was looking forward to some ice cream when I left.

Tom's been actually feeling FINE all the while. He looks good, sounds good, and is in surprisingly good spirits, though he'd really like to go home.

Meanwhile, I haven't yet been able to talk to my advisors to get their take. Keep in mind none of Tom's doctors at the hospital have known him for more than the past couple days and don't have any real history with Tom. I've gotten some inconsistent answers, and I'm not really sure how much I trust them. I'm not even sure exactly how worried I should be. I KNOW I'm more worried than when Tom had his heart surgery in 2004 -- but then I was just so relieved that he was getting medical attention (he was under-employed, had no health insurance, we had no savings, I was unemployed, and he was really really sick and I was frantic) and then I was too busy being on my knees begging for assistance from every agency around (and providing them with photocopies of every piece of paper in our lives) that I didn't have TIME to be worried.

Well, I AM worried now. They've also said his heart function is much lower than it's been (although he's looking, feeling and acting much better than the numbers would indicate -- see why I'm confused?) and, this morning Tom said that the doctor said they might try a different defibrillator. Again, I'll have to talk to the doctor for more information when I get to the hospital -- which I really have to do so I've GOT to get dressed and get out of the house.

Later,
Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: gnu
Date: 14 Oct 13 - 11:45 AM

Any chance you can tell them they must consult with Tom's regular doc(s) first?

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 14 Oct 13 - 07:48 PM

I did get some answers today... My primary question has been, How worried should I be? (Or rather, how IMMEDIATELY dire is the prognosis?)

Well, he's NOT going to get "better". His heart function is back down to about 20% as it was before his valve replacement in 2004. Why he doesn't LOOK or ACT more ill is because for the past few years he's been nowhere as active is he had been in 2004. He's had congestive heart failure for over 10 years and it's complicated by his coronary artery disease. I was having trouble understanding how everything could be fine until all of a sudden, it's all gone to shit and it was explained to me that the balance in Tom's body is delicate. When it falls off the edge, it does so very fast.

What the plans and options are, I may actually find out from the doctors concerned tomorrow. Today I only talked to the pulmonary guy for a few minutes and then, Tom's primary care was there (visiting another patient, but he stopped in to review Tom's information and visit with us) so he really didn't say much.

Tom had said this morning that one of his doctors was talking about a different kind of defibrillator -- and his nurse gave me more information about that. Instead of a defib/pacemaker only controlling one side of the heart, it would be one that would control both sides. And the rest of the care would be palliative.

The good news is I DID get to talk to Tom's primary care doctor who has been treating him for about 10 years. And I trust him. But, ya know, NONE of these doctors want to say, "Hey, he could keel over dead next week...or maybe it won't happen for a couple months...maybe years..." One thing agreed on is it is highly unlikely that Tom will tie his cousin's longevity -- she's 93 and still going strong. And the doctor was willing to say Tom isn't likely to live, say, another 10 years. But the lot of them really don't want to be tied to a prediction. (Or be the bearer of really bad news.)

This episode really has been a poke to remind me there IS a clock ticking; we don't have the luxury of "forever" or even years. Stop wasting time; do stuff NOW. NOW is the time to get Tom to teach me his "Anglo-Saxon crash-thud" guitar style. Nail down some facts in his history that need to be clarified and no one else can.

This all really isn't a surprise. But a reminder to be more mindful of the passing of time, the shortness of life.

I've got to go make some phone calls...

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: MaineDog
Date: 14 Oct 13 - 08:02 PM

For what it's worth, none of us can see the future in any depth, not even doctors.
My wife Gail was given six months by her doctor, but she lasted 40 months. Of course, they were right, saying that she would die. But we had lots of unexpected good times! We felt blessed, and dare I say lucky?
So enjoy each new day, and don't count them!
Jim B.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Nancy King
Date: 14 Oct 13 - 08:03 PM

Sobering thoughts, Linn. My thoughts are with you both for the best possible outcome -- for a long time!

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Oct 13 - 08:36 PM

Jim, our feelings, too. Tom's tougher than his doctors realize. Each day is another day to enjoy -- but this is a reminder not to waste any.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 14 Oct 13 - 09:28 PM

I'll second that

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 14 Oct 13 - 10:26 PM

It looks like I'll be able to give you those real hugs pretty soon. I am glad that you are getting some answers even though they are still somewhat vague. It sounds like you are latching onto a Seize the Day attitude, and that sounds like a good idea. Whatever you do, Keep Breathing. Tom, too! I hope Tom does indeed come home soon. Until I can give you real hugs, I'm sending more of the virtual kind.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Jeri
Date: 14 Oct 13 - 11:16 PM

Linn, I wish I could say something helpful. Mainly, I can be here to listen. I hope the cats let you sleep.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: bbc
Date: 15 Oct 13 - 01:06 AM

Just checked in. So sorry to read of all these complicated issues. Sending sympathy & prayers for strength from New York.

Love,

Barbara

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST,Justine
Date: 15 Oct 13 - 05:02 AM

Linn - so sorry to hear what you and Tom are going through. Just hoping for the best for you both.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: mouldy
Date: 15 Oct 13 - 05:18 AM

It's all about quality of life for you both now, and as been said, getting the most out of how much time you have together.
His tenacity can't be questioned, so here's to Tom and his fighting spirit - long may it serve him, and you too.

Meanwhile - Carpe Diem!

xxxxx

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: billybob
Date: 15 Oct 13 - 06:09 AM

Just sending much love to you both from Billy and me

Wendy
xxxxxxxxx

( and take care of you Linn xx)

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST,DFF
Date: 15 Oct 13 - 07:11 AM

Sending positive thoughts your way. What an ordeal.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST,kendall
Date: 15 Oct 13 - 07:18 AM

This makes me so sad.It's what took my friend, Utah, and I don't like it a damn bit.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Oct 13 - 07:20 AM

+++(((Linn & Tom)))+++

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 15 Oct 13 - 09:32 AM

Sending light and love and hope for wisdom and strength. I'm going thru similar with my mum, but she's 87 and has lived a grand old life.
Big, big hugs, my dear.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Oct 13 - 10:41 AM

DEAR TOM AND LINN THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LETTING ME KNOW ABOUT TOM'S HOSPITALIZATION PLEASE KNOW YOU ARE BOTH IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS AS AN OLD R.N. I AM A BIT CONFUSED WHY CAN'T TOM HAVE HIS OWN TRUSTED DOCTORS??? I WILL TRY TO VISIT TOM BUT DO NOT WANT TO TIRE HIM OUT PLEASE KEEP ME IN THE LOOP MY LOVE TO TOM AND MY SUPPORT TO YOU PLEASE CALL IF YOU SHOULD NEED ANYTHING CINDY

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Oct 13 - 11:08 AM

That last one was just like an old-fashioned telegram, wasn't it?

Linn, the struggle to gain more time sometimes results in a death by inches. I just watched two friends go through health crises - choosing the quality of remaining life is (in hindsight and in my opinion) the much better choice. I'm adding this to confirm what you've already said - there are real choices out there. Good luck to both of you in wading through the morass of medical opinion.

Maggie

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Janie
Date: 15 Oct 13 - 11:11 AM

Y'all are a good team, Linn. Continued good thoughts for both of you.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: catspaw49
Date: 15 Oct 13 - 12:56 PM

For medically challenged folks with multiple problems, everything is a balancing act. At some point it is driven home to them that they will never have a day as good as what they used to have and that today is as good as it gets. The challenge then becomes to enjoy as best one can what every day offers and not to be chagrined over the fact that time is now quite finite.....as it always has been though we never want to face it.

Address the day and not the diseases which have come with it. Do what you can to make things better but don't let that cloud the ability to make the most of each day and each other.

Best Thought from Ohio.........


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: jacqui.c
Date: 15 Oct 13 - 03:29 PM

Wise words Spaw.

Love to Tom.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: fat B****rd
Date: 15 Oct 13 - 04:35 PM

I have recently been the beneficiary of much love and kindness here. Now I'm sending mine.
Charlie.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: gnu
Date: 15 Oct 13 - 07:07 PM

I got nothin to add to such wise councel. Only good thoughts and prayers from the bog country of Kent County, New Brunswick (which is now not fly infested thanks to Old Man Winter reminding us what is to come with fly killing frosts).

Take care of you... both.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Genie
Date: 15 Oct 13 - 10:16 PM

Sincerely echoing much of what's been said here already, Linn and Tom.
I wish you strength and calm in "wading through the morass of medical opinion" and navigating the health care bureaucracies.   Quality of life is very important, and I wish you didn't have to choose between quality and quantity. But I've appreciated Tom's and your contributions here at Mudcat, and you are both in my thoughts and prayers. Sending prayers, light and as much positive energy as I can.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Tom and Linn}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Genie

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Megan L
Date: 16 Oct 13 - 03:19 AM

Thinking of you both

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: georgeward
Date: 16 Oct 13 - 04:06 AM

Love and light,   - G

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: gnu
Date: 16 Oct 13 - 01:05 PM

No news is good news but no updates is... well, no updates. Just hope all is as well as can be. I am with Megan and the rest. Mindful.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: maeve
Date: 16 Oct 13 - 02:05 PM

Checking in, Linn and Tom. You have so many people pulling for you both!

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST,Guest-Dianne
Date: 16 Oct 13 - 03:37 PM

Oh no!
I am so sorry. I too will be sending good thoughts and healing vibes.

Been out of town lots this summer/early fall and feel very out of touch. I will check in again tomorrow to catch the news and if Tom remains in the hospital I'll get over this weekend.

Meantime,I am concerned for you. It is hard physically and emotionally to be where you are. Take care. Use your friends and other support systems as much as possible.

Dianne

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 16 Oct 13 - 04:46 PM

Well, it's looking a if it's too late for a nap, but after I post this I AM going upstairs and under-reacting for awhile.

I realized yesterday that the stress is catching up with me. Today, by the time I got to the hospital, I was absolutely exhausted.

I ended up staying only about four hours -- Tom was feeling agitated. I think he just really wants to go home, which he will either tomorrow or Friday. He was "Hyacinthing" -- the phone cord, cord for his BP cuff, nurse call button cord, etc. weren't arranged to his pleasure, there was a wrinkle under his bum, the sky was just the wrong shade of pink (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, in case you didn't catch that last reference). I threatened him with broccoli or a fruit salad of peaches and apricots if he didn't figure out what he wanted that was on the lunch menu. Each time he'd look pained, I'd ask if there was something I could do. He'd adamantly say, "No!" Then I'd inveigle out of him what was wrong...and either attend to it myself or go get his nurse. It was almost as if he was enjoying being grumpy and uncomfortable.

My first disappointment of the morning was when I got to McDonald's this morning, absolutely famished and fantasizing about breakfast burritos, they had just switched to lunch. I swear the breakfast cut off gets earlier and earlier all the time. (It was 10:40.) I, who usually has trouble crying, had to fend off a strong urge to just sob.

That was the first indication of my stress and fatigue level. I finally looked at Tom and explained that I'd just discovered that I have absolutely no reserves of anything, especially not patience, and that it was probably best (since he was planning on going back to bed and taking a nap soon) that I leave and head in search of a nap myself and try to recoup my resources.

Game plan -- he may be moved out of the Critical Care Unit this evening or tomorrow. He will probably be released tomorrow or, possibly, Friday. The case manager is working on getting Tom a new wheelchair through Medicare. (His current one has seen hard usage for the past year and a half and has some safety/maintainance issues. His cardiologist and defib reading is being re-scheduled until next week when his cardiologist will have the records from this hospital stay. We'll also get his advice on the suggestion by the hospital cardiologist that Tom's defib/pacemaker be swapped out for a bi-venticular one. And I'm a little closer to acquiring a small recliner which will make it easier for Tom to sit with his feet elevated.

I would LOVE a roving band of masochists to break in and clean my house (or at least the kitchen...and the litter boxes; I cleaned up the cat barf on the kitchen counter and the cat poop that had been dragged out on the floor and I didn't have to murder any yellow jackets this morning before 7 a.m.) Got some stuff to Goodwill on my way to the hospital -- and found some possible footgear for Tom. Hope they fit his changeable feet...

Suppose I better check my messages...and then retreat upstairs and maybe try to call my sister and see how the on-going crises in Milwaukee are going. And read. Or maybe just read. Maybe a glass of wine (since it's almost 5 p.m.) and read...

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: gnu
Date: 16 Oct 13 - 05:01 PM

Keep the faith, both.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 16 Oct 13 - 06:38 PM

Two glasses of wine (and a book) helped. One dish-ragged cat (Rufus) helped. One stiff-legged, stomping, undecided and totally unrelaxed cat (Sabine) did NOT help.

Came downstairs to cook something uncomplicated, something comforting, and was immediately annoyed by the phone ringing. And it turned out to be a telemarketer wanting to help me with some Windows-related whatever that I'm sure he wanted to sell me something to fix. I yelled at him. I NEVER yell at telemarketers, but I yelled at him. Told him I have NO Windows-based computers here and I NEVER want to hear from him again. (Yes, he or someone else with the same Indian-accent has called multiple times before and been told just that, though a lot more politely.

I'm wrapping up my supper. It's good. What I'm craving is rum cake and a lot of whipped cream but have neither the wherewithal nor the energy to do anything about it. Why can't the Universe just know what I want before I do and just present it to me? Is that really so demanding and unreasonable?

Ach! I'm checking Facebook and going to bed. Maybe call a friend in Seattle. Read a bit more. Drink another glass of wine. Call Tom again. Turn out the light and go to sleep. Tomorrow is another day...

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: billybob
Date: 16 Oct 13 - 07:02 PM

Dear Linn

hang on in there and know we are with you, and Tom.

Hope tomorrow is a better day, and take care of you!

sending love and healing thoughts,
Rainbow crew are out there waiting!! They have helped me through so many bad, bad days

Wendy xxxxx

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 16 Oct 13 - 10:12 PM

Linn, please take care of yourself!

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Oct 13 - 09:45 AM

We are getting the same Windows calls from some Indian guy I can't understand. We've gotten 6 of them so far, and he is not discouraged by ANY remarks. Is it a human or a robot call?

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 17 Oct 13 - 09:46 AM

Didn't do a damned thing after supper last night except read a bit. Turned out the light at 9 and was asleep before I said my prayers. Woke at midnight, read a bit and had a prophylactic glass of red wine. Again, fell right to sleep. (Thanks, red wine) Woke long enough at 5:45 to register the time and back to sleep. Then Tom woke me with a phone call at 7:45 -- which is before I usually call HIM in the morning...sigh.

Took me a bit to become one with the universe.

He's insistent. I ate a couple slices of really nice bread, replied to a couple necessary emails, posted here, posted an appropriate M.F.K. Fisher quote at Facebook, and I think I'm on my way again.

Tom's reaching the point of, I dunno, agitation or something, where I know I need to get him home. When I called him at 9 last night, he'd thought he'd slept the night and it was morning. This morning, despite talking wristwatch, nurses to ask, etc. he thought it was much later in the day and he was concerned I wasn't there. (Count my blessings; at least it wasn't 4 a.m., as he's done in the past.)

Onward. Better go see if there's any sanity to be found someplace.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Charley Noble
Date: 17 Oct 13 - 12:33 PM

Wish we could do more than long distance hugs (((())))).

Charlie and Judy

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 17 Oct 13 - 04:34 PM

Sanity, I think, is still elusive.

Everyone keeps telling me they're glad I'm getting some rest, but I don't know if I AM getting any rest. I seemed to have a fine night's sleep last night and I fell asleep around 9. Tom woke me up this morning and then got insistent on me getting there, so I wasn't able to ease into the day as I prefer to.

When I got to the CCU I was absolutely exhausted -- I'd noticed yesterday it was all catching up with me -- and, after getting an update from his nurse, I crawled into his bed (this was around 11 a.m.) -- he was in the chair -- and fell asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow. I slept through his physical therapy (Kathy had him walking out in the hall) and lord knows what else. I woke up at around 2:30 when the hospitalist was in explaining that he was staying in the CCU because there was no room in telemetry, but that he would be released tomorrow probably early afternoon. So I'll have time to get him home and settled and get to Portsmouth for the session.

All I gotta say are the cream horns at the Waterfall Café in the lobby (they're from Harvey's in Dover) are OUT OF THIS WORLD.

Got a nice card from some local friends. Ya know, email and Mudcat and Facebook greetings are nice, but I really enjoy and feel heartened by snail mail greetings and wishes.

I'd like to say I've gotten a second wind after my nap, but, no, I'm still barely functional. It's like all the stress and exertion and fatigue has slammed into me at once. Made sure I took my vitamins this morning...if this is some kind of bug trying to trip me up while my resistance is low, I want to head it off at the pass.

That being said, all I am REALLY REALLY looking forward to is a day where I don't have to go anywhere or do anything.

The case manager is moving right along on the new wheelchair project and has gotten the prescription, which is half the battle. I'm still trying to score a small recliner which will make Tom being able to keep his feet up a lot easier than the current arrangement.

After I got him squared away again, I decided to head home while I was still more or less awake. It's going to be another early night, probably not much after I call Tom to say goodnight. I haven't been this physically tired since driving straight through to Milwaukee with only three hours' nap at a loud rest area on the New York Thru-way.

Speaking of Milwaukee, I just got an email that my sister is in the hospital so I'd better go call her.

Later,
Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: mg
Date: 17 Oct 13 - 04:49 PM

If would be good to discuss this with TOm's doctors and nurses. If you are exhausted you can not help him in an emergency. He needs to be told when he can call, when he can wake you up, what hours you need to sleep unless he has an emergency. They need to discuss this with him. If you are entitled to any medical help at home, please get it. The caregiver's needs must be taken into account and often the patient does not realize how burdensome and exhausting their care can be.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 17 Oct 13 - 09:51 PM

On top of everything you have a sister in the hospital? Yikes!

Sending more virtual hugs until I can give you real ones.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 18 Oct 13 - 08:01 AM

Well, I got a nap yesterday in Tom's bed while he was off doing physical therapy and sitting in a chair. Got to bed at a decent season last night (after a very pleasant conversation with a friend in Seattle), but woke at 4:30 to a nasty cramp in my calf. Brain too jangled to read so I've been puttering. Just showered and washed my hair. Ate a grapefruit and now I'm dizzy and desperately needing a nap, I think, before going over to see and, if things go as planned, pick up Tom and bring him home.

They moved Tom last night out of Critical Care to a telemetry room. I'm hoping the hospitalist whose care he's now under is not the same one from last February. If so, I'll have to go to the patient advocates office and raise a ruckus and I'm not sure how much ruckus-making energy I have today. According to the news yesterday, he should be released around 1 p.m. today. That should give me well enough time to get Tom home and settled before I turn around and head to the weekly Press Room session. Have to stop at Seaport Fish and get some frozen finnan haddie now that they have some again.

I doubt Tom will come to tomorrow's singaround, so I'll be in "being Tom" mode (as well as tonight's session). Hope we have a fine crew of singers for rafter raising. Charlie and Pete Hale have come up with some ridiculous excuses about San Diego and Liverpool being too far to commute for a session. Whatever happened to worm holes and teleportation and fax machines?!?

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 18 Oct 13 - 08:07 AM

And, yes, my sister is in the hospital in Milwaukee trying to shake a persistant infection in her leg. She's just recovered from a recurring infection (not MRSA) on her stomach. Started out with a pic and intravenous antibiotics a couple days ago but her doctor wasn't happy with the progress. And my 84-year-old mother is currently in rehab after leaving the hospital a couple weeks ago. All of this is 1500 miles away and I can't do a damned thing about it except give my sister moral support.

I am truly looking forward to a day when maybe all I have to do is curl up in bed with a couple cats, a mug of Earl Grey, and "A Lion In Winter" in the DVD player and on the screen.

Then again, maybe with my Earl Grey infused vodka instead...

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 18 Oct 13 - 08:09 AM

Right now I'm dizzy and tired and maybe I can snag a nap before I head to the hospital.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 18 Oct 13 - 10:30 AM

best wishes for a restful nap

will the dizziness affect the potential nap & more importantly, will it affect your driving?

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: gnu
Date: 18 Oct 13 - 11:01 AM

I hope not, Sandra. I hope that is left for the vodka. Take care, Linn. I'll bet Tom will be glad to get sprung!

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Oct 13 - 06:45 PM

As tired as you are, the vodka should wait. Alcohol interferes with sleep. Linn, you need help around the house or running errands. Even if the system doesn't pay for you to be Tom's caregiver, does it pay for SOMEONE to come in and help, giving you a well-deserved break?

I agree with Mary - explain to Tom that he should wait until 10 to call. You're overdoing it with all of the running around and you need a little space. Take care of yourself.

Chin up, once Tom is home hopefully you can relax into a more normal schedule. But do see about getting help.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 18 Oct 13 - 10:43 PM

Vodka was mentioned facetiously (but I DO make a great Earl Grey infused vodka). Through this whole thing haven't wanted anything other than wine, sherry or vermouth and only a glass or so at that.

This morning I took a clonazapam and then had a grapefruit. I think the combo of grapefruit and clonazapam made me dizzy. I'm also exhausted. Was then, still am now at 10:35 p.m. Just put Tom to bed and, after checking one thing here, I intend to head to bed. Hope I can sleep late...not a trick I've learned.

Oh, Tom's home. He was supposed to be sprung at 1, but didn't finally escape until 4. Had no trouble getting him into the house and into his wheelchair. Made him something to eat, then I went to Portsmouth to "be Tom" at the session. Got there late, of course, and had to practically park in Kittery.

ChanteyLass was visiting, also a Press Room alumna currently living in NYC whom I haven't seen for DECADES. Somewhat of a quiet as the NH Film Festival kicks off today.

I'm fried. No reserves left. Especially not patience. I hope I put it in a safe place. My sock drawer, perhaps.

G'night.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 19 Oct 13 - 12:08 AM

My heart goes out to you both. I don't have anything helpful to say, except I know I'm only one of many rooting for you, and I hope things do improve for you SOON!

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: gnu
Date: 19 Oct 13 - 05:41 AM

Glad to hear Tom is home. Hope you get to sleep in a bit.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 19 Oct 13 - 10:54 AM

I'm hoping tomorrow will be more or less a down day. But today is the shanty sing and I'll be there in "being Tom" mode.

Tomorrow a friend is bringing over a recliner (and taking away the old chair) so that Tom can more easily keep his feet up as ordered by the doctors. Perfect -- doesn't take up much space, is designed to be close to the wall, etcet etcet.

Tom had me awake an hour or two before I wanted to be this morning. He was up, in his wheelchair, knocking stuff over, trying to get dressed. It was dark. It was early. I haven't had enough REST in almost two weeks. Got him semi-settled; turned on lights and radio. Went back to bed. Cats didn't want me asleep either. So...made him coffee. Put the phone back to recharge. (Got to get back into the routine.) Took a cup of tea upstairs and try, TRY, to become one with the universe. Imbibed the tea, indexed a few more of Tom's freelance articles from 1995, slaughtered two wasps, petted cats (but not enough as far as they're concerned), reread two pages in a light mystery about 4 times still with zero comprehension, got some junk mail culled from the huge stack on the table and thrown out so I had a place to eat breakfast.

Arghhh! Better put some clothes on. Shanty sing this afternoon.

I want a nap!!!! (And I ain't a gonna get one.)

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: jacqui.c
Date: 19 Oct 13 - 02:16 PM

Welcome home Tom.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 20 Oct 13 - 05:46 AM

For the second morning in a row Tom has gotten me up a LOT earlier than I really wanted to be up. It's 5:30 a.m. now.

He whistled "quietly" (I bought him 4 referee's whistles so he'd have them available to call me, loud for an emergency, more quietly if he just wanted me) and I came downstairs. His quilt was at the foot of the stairs -- a LONG way from his bed. He was "up", dressed and in his wheelchair. And said he needed help. So I turned on the lights, which alone was a lot of help. (For me, too.)

He said there was a lot more stuff in the room than when he'd gone to bed. Well, no... Everything was just as it has been for the past two years. But...well, he's been in the hospital for a week and a half.

His bedside basket was on his bed, the pill case on the floor, one of his flashlights on the other side of the room, his heavy shirt on top of his glass of water (but the water not spilled), his battered box of kleenex was on the bed instead of on the floor next to it. He didn't think he had been in the kitchen (he needed help getting his wheelchair to the table which is closer than the kitchen in our open floorplan), but there were several things scattered on the floor.

Last night after our late supper (after I got home from the shanty sing) he pulled the slipcover off the folding chair at table because he thought it was something he was looking for. (I was in the next room -- he COULD have asked me, but he hadn't wanted to "bother" me).

He's okay. I just brought him the coffee I just made and turned on the radio.

I'm STILL exhausted. I'm taking a large cup of jasmine tea upstairs and going to read my way into the day and try to pretend life is more or less normal.

I'm going to try -- desperately -- to try to recoup my resources of energy...patience...sanity...today. I really need some down time and today looks like the only available time in the near future.

Would I be a horrible wife if I put Tom in Depends and duct taped him to the wheelchair in front of NHPR?

The jasmine tea is calling...

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 20 Oct 13 - 11:31 AM

I did go back to sleep around 6:30 for about an hour. Woke momentarily (and didn't hear anything untoward coming from downstairs), so went back to sleep for another 45 minutes or so with a cat snuggled next to me and dreams of three cavorting men (cartwheels and such) in light green robes playing shawms outside the Episcopal church just behind our back door (in the dream -- our house, of course, wasn't our house and it was an alien neighborhood as well). Oh, and there was a puffy tailed black cat who ran across the yard (and then sat there) as soon as I looked at it.

Well, there was a large brown bird that was neither a turkey nor a turkey vulture sitting in the northern edge of the grassy interior of the Portsmouth Traffic Circle yesterday (couldn't get a closer look as I circled from the Spaulding to the Rte 1 Bypass) -- I think that translated into the black cat in the dream.

And I'd been listening to Maddy Pryor and the Carnival Band ("Carols & Capers") in the car which may explain the shawms (and the capers).

Now I've got Maddy Pryor and the Carnival Band songs going through my head...

Trying to make breakfast sandwiches (egg and bacon and cheese) for brunch and get the place somewhat picked up before the recliner is delivered.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 20 Oct 13 - 12:07 PM

Why can't he just leave things where they are?!?

Tom is constantly rearranging everything on his side of the table, taking things (meds) off my side of the table, taking things out of the trays at his side where they are organized and putting them on the table or taking them off the table and putting them there.

And then he can't figure out why he can't find something he needs...and since I'm female and evidently have a built-in homing device or something in my uterus, I have to find it. When he COULD have just left it alone and it would have been where it belonged.

No. He's not putting things in a "better" place -- because it's never the same place twice.

I do NOT have the patience for this right now. I used to have patience, but I used it and my reserves up this past week and a half. I don't know if I put any away for safe keeping.

Can I duct tape his hands together, too?

This is why caregivers kill themselves... (no, don't worry about that).

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST,SINS
Date: 20 Oct 13 - 12:26 PM

Tom is trying to control some of the few things he still has control over.
I can't imagine how frustrating it must be for him to be almost totally helpless.

I wonder - is he able to pay his concertina? It might help him feel a bit more himself. Just leave it by his chair, let him know it's there IF he wants it. No discussion or argument, just there for him.

Hang in there, Tom. And break whatever you please - that would be how I would handle it. In fact, it's what I do now when I get too frustrated. Nothing eases the tension like shattering pottery.

Love,
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 20 Oct 13 - 12:34 PM

That's one of the problems, Sinsull -- he hasn't really been able to play the concertina.

He got out of practice after he broke his ankle and was in a wheelchair (with arms, of course) and couldn't play for over 6 months. Then his hospitalization last February set him back majorly, both in the playing part and in the eyesight part.

He doesn't NEED to see the keys to find where he starts (never did when he was sighted), but he thinks he does.

Plus he's back in a wheelchair most of the time at home or else in another armchair. I've got sturdy armless chairs he could use, but he never seems to want to play the concertina. So I've not only lost my singing partner, I've lost my accompanist.

Bad subject right now.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST,mg
Date: 20 Oct 13 - 01:44 PM

It is not clear from this end if he has had some mental impairment as well as physical. If he does, it is from 100 times more difficult. If he does not, you and his medical team need to tell him how exhausted you are and see that he understands. If he can get himself to the bathroom safely, there is no reason not to let you sleep until 9 or later. A man who wakes up at 5:30 and has no job to go to does not need coffee...you could leave a non-scalding thermos out for him, or a coffee cup with a straw that would get cold...a person who feels the need for coffee can drink it cold until you are up. Food can be left out for an early breakfast.

I would remove all my stuff from the table and just let it all be his.

A visit from an occupational therapist would be good if medicare allows it...perhaps the room could be set up better.

any HELP through medicare etc..a caregiver they would pay..would be good....if necessary, you could take care of a frail old lady and come out ahead from being his paid caregiver...too much heavy work.

If not paid caregiver..if akithere is any spare room in the house i would look at exchanging rent for helping him out in the morning and tKINF to early morning appointments.

i would sell every antique or whatever to see about getting a regular bathroom put in downstairs...just roughted in..perhaps a shanty benefit if necessary...

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bettynh
Date: 20 Oct 13 - 02:45 PM

Have you tried distraction? "Forget" a pile of baskets or berry containers on your side of the table, perhaps, to give him something to try to figure out (for example). At least if he loses that sort of thing, the things you think are important won't be messed with. Could his whistle be a pennywhistle or recorder, so he might have something to fool around with (if you think that's a good idea, I have a plastic recorder you could have by the end of the week)?

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 20 Oct 13 - 08:20 PM

Tom has no voice (thanks to vocal cord cancer). The whistle is to call me if he needs help -- softly for most things, loud if it's an emergency.

He hasn't figured out how to cope with his blindness yet. And it IS still changing. But it would seem to me that if he had things in a regular place he could then find them when he needs them. It would make things easier for him. But...even when he could see he never put things away so, well, why should he start now? (Other than to make life easier for himself; sigh.) There is NO reason for him to go into the basket with night time meds that are on my side of the table. The only thing that does is make me have to go searching for them when we need them before going to bed.

I've suggested highly to him that, if he wakes up and it's dark, STAY THE HECK IN BED!!! I'll be downstairs around 8 a.m. There is absolutely no reason for him to get up before then. There is no reason to flounder around in the dark and get MY day off on entirely the wrong foot. Especially right now when I really need to rally my resources and build my reserves after a week and a half of extreme stress and juggling too many things.

It'll work out. I just need to vent a little.

Our friends Bruce and Mike (and Mike's son) brought over the recliner this afternoon. It's WONDERFUL and will really help Tom elevate his legs a lot more easily. And he can sleep in it as a change from the couch where he's been sleeping for the past year and a half.

Tomorrow we jump into all the post hospital stay doctors' appointments, visiting nurses, phone calls, new wheelchair delivery, etcet etcet.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 21 Oct 13 - 08:02 PM

And today I got doctors' appointments sorted, the visiting nurse came and stayed for almost 2 hours, filling out forms, taking vitals, and finally drawing blood for some bloodwork requested by the hospital (and Tom's PCP). Just after she left and I thought I could head out to pick up Tom's new meds, Tom's new wheelchair was delivered. Since I got out so late and the pharmacy would be closed between 2 and 2:30, I dropped off stuff at the post office and did some grocery shopping first before going to the pharmacy.

I tried to call Tom twice and got no answer. I was concerned, but not worried -- figured he just didn't have the cordless phone with him wherever he was.

Got home to a bit of a crisis. Tom was okay, but he had lost the phone (which is our landline). I looked where he thought it fell and a few other places, but couldn't find it. (Gee, can't I even get the groceries put away before there's a crisis that has to be attended to immediately?!?) So, since my cell doesn't work at home, I tried to call a friend to call us back so I could HEAR where the phone was. Simple, huh? Well...called SIX people and no one was home. Then a few minutes later as I was telling Tom about it, one of them called. And the phone sounded like it was in the wheelchair with Tom -- not where he thought it had fallen. Anyway, it turned out it was still in the pocket of his wooly shirt, which he had slipped off and was still around him in the wheelchair. Mystery solved; phone found.

I finally was able to go upstairs for an hour and a half and become at one with the universe and finish a book.

I really need more down time than an hour or two a day (if that). What do I have to do to get a day off -- no one coming here, no place we HAVE to be, nothing demanding that has to be done? I just need one day of no demands on my time. That's all.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 22 Oct 13 - 08:30 AM

What next? It was about 7 a.m. and I was reading peacefully in bed, petting Rufus who was dish-ragged across my thigh, when I felt something crawling on my leg under the quilt. Before I could gently shoo the cat off my lap and lift the covers, the miserable wasp had stung me just below my right knee.

As if the day hadn't started off so wonderfully already by being awakened by a leg cramp...

If the sting didn't hurt so much, all this, having sort of reached the point of ridiculousness, would be funny...

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 22 Oct 13 - 09:18 AM

i haven't read your thread for a few days, Linn - what a list of 'interesting & challenging' times you are going thru!

I've never been a carer, but I know carers need rest & time to themselves so they can keep going.

All I can do is wish you peaceful times & less stress

love

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 Oct 13 - 12:26 PM

Ouch! ouchouchouchouch!

Great news about the recliner. And the wheelchair. And the phone. Get your rest now that you have a chance.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST,sciencegeek51
Date: 22 Oct 13 - 01:05 PM

Can't help with your caregiving.... but I can help you find relief for those nasty wasp stings... not folkflore because I use it all the time to treat stings. I get it from my local farm supply store because it's been years since I've seen it carried at a regular drugstore. There are 3 Tractor Supply stores in NH, but I suspect that the gas & time would be more hassle than ordering online.

It's a petroleum by product & smells like it... but apply to the sting ASAP to reduce the spread of the venom & cover loosely with gauze or tissue to keep it from staining fabric. If done within minutes of the sting, all you will have to deal with is a red spot that may itch a little. It is something I try to keep on hand in the house & barn.


Ichthammol 20% Drawing Salve, 14 oz.
500251099
Ingredients : Ichthammol, Anhydrous Lanolin, Amber Petroatum

Rating: 5.0 (2)
Enter zip code for local pricing

Online / In Select Stores
http://www.tractorsupply.com/StoreLocator

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Hollowfox
Date: 22 Oct 13 - 04:44 PM

Gaaa...I've got to check in at the 'Cat more often, Well, when I get home from work, I'm firing up the $@#!-reduction candles for both you and Tom (the start of a series, coming soon to your local theater). I hope things settle down soon. Mary

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 22 Oct 13 - 05:53 PM

First...Tom is okay. He's not hurt. But he spent the afternoon on the floor next to a collapsed wheelchair.

Let's start at the beginning. Jeri "kidnapped" me this afternoon for lunch and a beach walk. Tom was situated and fine when I left and I'd made his lunch and left it in a convenient place. My cell was on if he needed to reach me. (He's the only one who knows the number and I only have it on when I'm out and he's at home.)

Not long after we left, he needed to use his chamber pot (which he felt more secure using in this case than his commode) which was on the floor next to his bed. He did so successfully. Then he went to sit back down in the wheelchair and it collapsed. He went down, too, of course.

So when I came in about 4 hours later, I found him lying on his side on the floor between his bed and the recliner with the wheelchair collapsed and on its side on the floor, and his bedside things scattered. He said he had thought about taking the cordless phone with him, but had left it on the table on the other side of the room.

He was fine, but couldn't get up and I couldn't safely get him up, so I called 911 for a lift assist. I also couldn't properly expand the wheelchair. It's the one that was delivered yesterday and the delivery sheet said we should have been instructed in maintenance, etc. but all the guy did was set it up, get Tom into it and let him try it out, and then he left.

So that's another phone call that has to be made tomorrow morning.

Poor Tom never got his lunch either, of course.

We hadn't thought he needed one of those emergency buttons to wear around his neck, but after this, I think he does and will let the appropriate person know about that right away tomorrow morning as well.

The wasp sting still hurts, combination of burning and being stabbed with a needle, but I'm sure it will be okay. But meanwhile, I'm a bit too shaken to make the smoked scallop chowder I was going to make for dinner, so we'll have leftover meatloaf with mushroom gravy and nice little potatoes.

And I think I need a large glass of wine...right now!

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST,SINS
Date: 22 Oct 13 - 06:38 PM

Tom isn't safe alone, Linn. It is time to sort out alternative care that leaves you free to come and go. The emergency button is a good step but what happens if he tries to get some coffee and burns himself or starts a fire?
Falls in the night; falls during the day. He wanders and can't see. He is an accident waiting to happen.
Sorry to be so blunt.
It is time to speak with his doctors about the next step.
If you or anyone else wants to ream me out for this, I understand.
I am genuinely worried about Tom.
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: mg
Date: 22 Oct 13 - 06:52 PM

Sounds like some damages should be expected from the wheelchair company. For one thing, in compensation, you could ask for a hospital bed that raises and lowers. I don't think it is safe for him to sleep on a couch with all the problems he has. Likewise, the toilet has to be very secure and not moveable. A chamber pot and also a commode move around. Also, have you checked out the incenolet or whatever they are called burning toilets? No emptying of chamber pots etc. Do you have someone who can draft a legal letter to the wheelchair place?

It would be good if you described the layout of the house again, because someone who has experience in these issues could make suggestions. It sounds like he does not have all the assistive devices that he could get through Medicare or wherever..

Has every expert been called on in this case? Occupational therapist? Blindness combined with 20% heart function combined with ongoing infection and wheelchair use combined with unstable furniture is not good for him or for you. It sounds like you were eligible for a caretaker for at least some hours...but it could not be you. Take advantage of it, especially in the morning when you could sleep and he could be given a nice breakfast, his coffee, perhaps be taken for a walk, taken to an early appointment. Does pharmacy deliver? Take prescriptions by fax? Can't the doctor phone in prescriptions? It is all too much for you to take care of but others would be willing and eager perhaps to check things out like eligibility for medicare assistance (and is he a veteran? THere are many helps there). There are lots of librarians here...they can operate from Saudi Arabia to help you deal with all this...and also check on respite care opportunities with him either going into a place for a week or so for you to get some rest or an in-house caregiver with you going somewhere else for a rest.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: catspaw49
Date: 22 Oct 13 - 07:05 PM

Yeah Linn..........Not trying to run your life but I'm with Mary here. You need to have someone with Tom 24-7 pretty much so you can take care of things that need done and take care of yourself too. Right now though Tom is not safe to be alone. This will take some adjustments on his part and yours but until things improve one helluva' lot you have no options. If I were in Tom's position I would have been been frightened as hell although I would not want to say so. I got over that after an episode in the hospital and now I am open to my far too many frailties.

You need help......He needs help. Get some help. I too apologize for the bluntness.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 22 Oct 13 - 07:47 PM

Tom IS safe alone for short periods. He doesn't attempt things he knows will be unsafe like using the stove or the toaster oven. He can no longer make coffee or pour it for himself, so he can't injure himself attempting it. I make the coffee for him, pour it, put the cream in and stir it. If I'll be gone over mealtime, I leave him a meal that doesn't have to be heated or anything and where there are no obstacles to getting it.

His falls (except for the one where he broke his ankle) were ALL the result of Ambien, which he no longer takes. He hasn't fallen in the night since he stopped taking Ambien.

He has no infection -- we keep very close tabs on that because he has replacement heart parts.

I'm trying to clear out the other room on the ground floor for a single bed (he doesn't need a hospital bed) and his commode -- so he has a real bed and has more privacy than in the living room.

I'm the person who needs to take him to medical appointments -- NOT A STRANGER. He doesn't want Meals On Wheels (even if they were available -- I think most of the funding has been cut) and wouldn't eat them. He also doesn't want someone else bathing him (although I certainly wouldn't mind). What I do need (and his case manager from CFI/Medicaid is meeting with us soon) is someone to come in once a week or so and vacuum and dust and maybe clean the bathroom and kitchen. I change his dressings most of the time as the visiting nurses only come twice a week. (And I do a better job of it than they do.)

No, he's not a veteran. Yes, he's got good Medicare coverage (and Supplemental) as well as CFI/Medicaid (which so far hasn't done a damned thing).

Tom has had so much taken away from him -- his voice, his mobility, and his eyesight. By the way, how much he see varies not only from day-to-day, but at different times of the day. He's still learning how to be blind -- because it changes. One thing he NEEDS, really really NEEDS, is to be able to do as much as he can by himself. But he knows when to call me to help. And he's got all of his marbles. Thank God! No impairment of his brain. And he has learned to anticipate potentially dangerous situations and avoid them. (And I'm with him through all his medical stuff to keep doctors who don't know him from accidently killing him. We both trust his PCP and his cardiologist.)

The wheelchair company is getting a phone call first thing tomorrow morning. I don't know what the problem actually was today, but the chair collapsed and I can't get it opened up so Tom can sit in it. Their delivery person did NOT do the "training" or relay the information that he should have. Tom is in his old wheelchair for the time being -- but it has its own set of problems.

Right now I just need a day of nobody coming over and not having to go anywhere. And not having anything that needs immediate attention. Just a day -- to recover from the past two weeks of stress and spending as much time in the car between the house and hospital as I spent at the hospital with Tom. And, of course, nothing getting done around the house that needed to be done (which adds to the stress).

Believe it or not, HE needs some time to himself, too. And the EMTs are just down at the end of the road, so I think that emergency button would be a good idea just to be on the safe side.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Charley Noble
Date: 22 Oct 13 - 07:51 PM

Yes, I'm with Mary and Pat as well. This is far too much.

I only say that because Tom is no longer the invulnerable person he was ten years ago. He probably knows that but it's so hard to accept it.

I had to take my father's car keys away at the age of 92 but, shit, he was almost blind and almost completely deft. He wasn't pleased but there really wasn't any other good moral choice.

I hope when I'm similarly incapacitated my younger friends and family will have the strength to make such decisions for me. I doubt if I'll be very appreciative but that would be the right decision.

Love,
Charlie

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 Oct 13 - 08:23 PM

It probably feels like people are piling on, but they're not - we all want you both to be well-cared for in a way that works for both of you. Unless you can grow another pair of arms, renting good help is the answer.

I'm glad Jeri was able to get you out for a few hours. Don't let the unexpected wheelchair failure stop future excursions for yourself. I hate those commercials for the button, but it does sound like this is a good time for it. If the thing that will make all of the difference is the empty room for the bed and the commode, what needs to happen to empty that room now? Can someone rent one of those PODS for you and a group of people come over and fill the pod with room contents? Whether it stays there or moves off-site for a while, space is the thing you need, so I hope you'll let people help you make it so. And I wish I didn't live 2000 miles away.

SRS (this time thinking inside the box)

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 22 Oct 13 - 10:20 PM

I am glad you were able to get out but sorry you came home to a crisis. The crises seem to be coming far too often. (Well, I suppose one crisis qualifies as "far too often.") I want Tom to be safe. I want you to be able to get the down-time you want and need. I want to be able to give you more real hugs but also to do something useful. You've got a lot to sort out to make both your lives calmer. Sending love.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST,mg
Date: 23 Oct 13 - 02:12 AM

I suspect you have a liability claim against the wheelchair manufacturer and/or its reps both for failing to train and for having a defective product. that is what their insurance is for...i hope someone with a legal or insurance background can advise you...it could be enough to rough in a handicapped bathroom in the small private room...a man just days out of the hospital iwth reduced heart function lying next to a chamber pot for several hours does not make for good publicity.

you and SRS are right about getting that room ready...if stuff can not be sold, recycled, stored elsewhere it still would be better to put some in the living stacked up..safely and out of the way of course..in order to give tom a private room. i keep focusing on the toilet situation but it is the probably most important consideration in keeping independence, pride etc...and using a private room vs. a living room is better for both the patient and other family members who might not want to have guests etc. in a room with toilet facilities if there is another option..

I I hop e \\ that people will step forward to do the physical moving of stuff...some can probably go right out the door and some can have delayed decisions...and you will have your living room back for guests, reading etc....

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 23 Oct 13 - 06:02 AM

Good grief. How harrowing for you. Not that what I think means anything, but I do hope you get the emergency button for Tom.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: billybob
Date: 23 Oct 13 - 08:53 AM

Dear Linn,

mother has an emergency button ( care line in the UK) even though she is never left on her own, I am aware that if I,or Billy, fell down or were taken ill while we were looking after her then that would be our only way to get help! It also has a smoke alarm and carbon monoxide alarm connected to it. Do hope you get one really soon?

Just sending you love and hope you get a few days stress free so you can both recover.

Wendy xxxx

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 23 Oct 13 - 09:22 AM

Ya know, thank you all for your concern, but I'm not really looking for advice.

We KNOW the options, we KNOW things that can be done to make life simpler (and, hey, anybody notice? I got a free recliner for Tom in less than two days and a new wheelchair in three), we KNOW what services are available either under Medicare, his supplemental insurance, VNA, CFI/Medicaid, Community Action, etcet etcet.

All I need is TIME. We have friends close by who can help when I need help (and when it fits into both our schedules). And I can really use ONE LOUSY DAY of down time so I can recover from the past two weeks. Just ONE DAY of nobody coming to the house, no appointments to go to, and nothing critical that HAS to be done on a deadline.

I am an experienced caregiver, I've taken courses in caregiving and read books on the subject, but most of all I have PRACTICAL EXPERIENCE and resources. And I know when to call on those resources.

Mudcat is a major resource for me as a PLACE TO VENT. You are my support group -- moral support. I can't complain to Tom and talking to the cats is mostly useless. (But don't tell them that.)

Tom is intelligent, alert, learning to cope with his blindness and other disabilities. He's not shy about asking for help when he needs it. He has no problems being alone for awhile and is very aware of the fact -- especially when he's alone -- he needs to think things through and avoid potentially dangerous maneuvers.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bill D
Date: 23 Oct 13 - 10:26 AM

Well...all that's clear enuf! ;>)

Because of Mudcat, you have more people 'concerned' than you actually know personally. Brainstorming ideas is a popular hobby, but just being aware and being that moral support is all most of us can actually do... and so be it.

We are already meditating and concentrating and sending messages to the Weather Gods for a mild Winter.

Take care... ♥♥♥

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: catspaw49
Date: 23 Oct 13 - 11:08 AM

Yeah.....I think you're right Bill......pretty clear. So Linn, you will always have best thoughts , both of you, for things to smooth out a bit and give you the time and you need. And I'll be happy to listen and provide an ear.

I will also take a piece of my own advice which I often give to other floundering jadrools around here: I'll grab a seat in the corner, have a Coke and a smile, and shut the fuck up.

Much Love

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 23 Oct 13 - 12:56 PM

The people from the wheelchair company are coming tomorrow, but Tom's physical therapist was just here and showed us some of the fine points of this new chair -- and it IS a really nice one, heavier duty and safer than his old one.

I think the seat hadn't been properly locked down (it snaps into curved receptacles on the base) when it was delivered. And we were unaware that it even HAD this safety feature.

The therapist gave us the short course of all the adjustments -- and Tom can decide tomorrow when the tech is here if he wants it the same height as his old one (a bit lower than the new one is right now) because that adjustment needs to be done by a tech with the right tools.

The arms also swing out of the way or come off so Tom will be able to practice the concertina in the wheelchair which he couldn't before.

Basically when the chair was dropped off on Monday, the delivery guy didn't do ANYTHING he was supposed to other than drop the chair off and see that Tom could sit in it and move across the living room. I asked one question about brake adjustment (since that's the problem with his old chair) and he said his company takes care of all that so just call. And then he was gone. I read on the delivery slip he was supposed to walk us through all the features and adjustments and maintenance requirements, etc.

As I said earlier, it's probably working out for the best because it shows that the emergency button COULD be helpful in an emergency when I'm not in the immediate vicinity, so we'll get that.

Everything is being taken care of in due time...and right now I have to get the bread pudding I've been trying to make since Sunday made and in the oven and the smoked scallop chowder for dinner tonight made before we leave for Tom's PCP appointment this afternoon.

By the way, the wasp sting doesn't hurt today, but it itches and is a little red and hard. Hydrocortisone cream...it'll go away in due time as well.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 23 Oct 13 - 08:59 PM

We're "listening"... and crossing our fingers you get your "day of rest" SOON!

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 26 Oct 13 - 01:30 PM

I'm glad you now know how to use the wheelchair safely. I wish that had happened when it was delivered. I hope the sting no longer bothers you, and I hope you are finally getting some downtime. I don't know about you, but sometimes I think I need to write in ink in my calendar, "Hermit Day." Then if anyone calls to ask if I want to do something, I can honestly say, "Oh, let me check my calendar. Uh-oh! I'm sorry but I already have plans for that day."

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 26 Oct 13 - 02:53 PM

Today is probably the closest I'm going to come to a "pajama day" in the foreseeable future. No appointments today and no one is coming over. I don't have to go out at all for any reason.

Does this mean I have the day off? Well, noooo...

Today I'm getting caught up on the stuff around the house that I haven't been able to get done for about three weeks. I indexed ALL of Tom's freelance articles from 1995-1999 (I'd already done 1994) and I'm partway to getting the information into a Word file.

I also got some laundry done (including hand washing), dried some laundry, and ran the dishes through. Made a nice late breakfast, so I'm just now (2:45) heating up some leftovers for a light "lunch". Hope to get my bed changed, the kitchen compost taken out, a bunch of stuff schlepped to the cellar, the rollator out of the car and Tom's old wheelchair put into the car. I have to check my list as to what else I'm trying to get done today. Some emailing, too. Don't think I'll have time to vacuum, but I should probably sweep...out of respect for my seldom-used vacuum cleaner. (Why overload it?)

And I went over the agenda for tomorrow's PMFF board meeting with Tom and made notes for use at the meeting.

Tomorrow is the PMFF board meeting and it will probably be a long one -- Tom will be there in a wheelchair. But it will be capped by dinner at The Press Room (where I'll have some needed help getting Tom in and out -- I won't need help at the library which is handicapped accessible).

Monday it starts in again -- Emergency Response people coming at 10:30 to set up Tom's emergency button, Tom's physical therapist at noon, and Tom's CFI caseworker around 3-ish. I'll have to check my calendar for Tuesday (but I'm pretty sure the visiting nurse will be here), and Wednesday Tom has an appointment at the wound clinic.

ChanteyLass, I use the declutter thread as my "support group" in between Tom's medical adventures threads.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: fat B****rd
Date: 26 Oct 13 - 03:00 PM

I'm late coming to this but I'm sending best regards and thoughts,
Charlie.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST,Guest-Dianne
Date: 28 Oct 13 - 11:21 AM

Good grief! You two can't seem to catch a break, much less a breath!
I haven't been able to access mudcat, so in my feeble mind I thought (hoped) you two were getting some downtime and resting comfortably.

I have never used a nebulizer, but am mechanically inclined and would be willing to take a crack at it if you don't get it up and running soon. You are probably just too overtired to make sense of it.

Dianne

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 28 Oct 13 - 04:15 PM

I just need time to watch the DVD and figure out exactly (the diagrams in the manual are pretty unclear) how the ampule of med is put into the where on the nebulizer.

The last person just left and, for the first time today, I have some breathing space. I'm going upstairs to under-react before I have to make dinner. (And NOT watch the DVD; sorry, I really need some just plain down time!)

So...Tom now has an emergency button to wear (and we've worked out a signal for accidental pushing -- they're pretty sensitive -- so that if Tom is home alone and the button is accidently depressed if he blows the whistle when they start asking questions -- they can't hear his quiet voice -- they'll know it was an accident; if they hear nothing, it's an emergency) and got everything all plugged in right and all the paperwork done. She was still here and hour and a half later when Tom's physical therapist came. After that I had time enough to make lunch and go out to pick up a prescription and gas up the car before his case manager came out to see what CFI might actually do to help us. And that would be to have an agency come out once a week and run a vacuum over the place, dust, and spiffify the kitchen and bathroom. You. Have. No. Idea. How much that would help me!!!

But there WEREN'T any free spaces in between to schlep some stuff to the cellar or get anything else accomplished today. (Well, I did get some of the books for the library sale into boxes to take to the library tomorrow...and I swept the room where the computer is and the kitchen.)

And now I have a date with a novel and reclining pose (and a cat) for a couple hours before I have to make supper.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 29 Oct 13 - 08:23 AM

I'm not sure what happened here -- this thread was (I think accidentally) closed for a bit and guest: Dianne and my post of early yesterday has disappeared.

Dianne (and others), I use the declutter thread as my "support group" when we're in between threads on Tom's medical adventures.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Jeri
Date: 29 Oct 13 - 08:58 AM

Her post might be on the other thread--I'll look.

Please don't post duplicate messages in different threads.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 29 Oct 13 - 12:11 PM

Well, it wasn't actually a duplicate message because some things had changed between posts.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST,Guest-Dianne
Date: 29 Oct 13 - 12:48 PM

So I'm not the only one experiencing mudcat problems, eh?

Linn,
How are you today? Are you able to grab some downtime? Is the nebulizer working? Has Tom used one before?

How is Tom doing?

I do hope you are both comfortable and more rested.

Dianne

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 29 Oct 13 - 02:51 PM

My "duties" for the day are almost done -- one more phone call to make on Tom's behalf. The visiting nurse this morning clarified the workings of the nebulizer, so Tom'll give it a shot.

The real point there is that NO medical person -- at the hospital, where it was prescribed, or at his PCP, where his new meds were reviewed -- has ever explained to either Tom or me why he needs it or what, exactly, it's supposed to do. (I mean, besides the obvious, that it should help in some way with his breathing.) It was just one of those unexplained things -- given at a time when the prescriber wasn't even around to ask.

Just got home from errands and I'm now going to grab a partial afternoon "off" -- I'll make a batch of popcorn and finally get to watch "A Lion In Winter" which I scored at Goodwill about a month and a half ago and haven't seen for way too many years.

I have NO idea when I'll start to feel more rested because my daily to-do list just keeps getting bigger it seems. But Tom's doing fine.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 29 Oct 13 - 06:30 PM

enjoy your movie & popcorn

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 29 Oct 13 - 09:09 PM

Ditto what Sandra said. And I'm glad Tom is doing well.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST,Guest-Dianne
Date: 30 Oct 13 - 10:33 AM

One of my favorite movies! I hope you enjoyed the afternoon. I too am glad to hear that Tom is feeling well.
Are there any items on the "to do" list that can be scratched off or delegated to others?

Your job is 24/7 and a hard one too.

Dianne

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 30 Oct 13 - 01:11 PM

Wound clinic today (definitely needed as there are a few new developments) and Tom's long-awaited appointment with his cardiologist next week. Got a list of questions that trails down to the floor...

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST,Manuel
Date: 30 Oct 13 - 06:16 PM

Linn, although you are incredibly strong, I reach out to give you all the moral support I can muster. I have one arm wrapped around you and the other around Tom. Stay strong, good woman!

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: bubblyrat
Date: 31 Oct 13 - 05:30 AM

Dear Bat Goddess,
                following my recent unplanned , painful and life-threatening sojourn in Reading Hospital ,all I can say is that you have my deepest sympathy ,and I do hope that Curmudgeon makes a speedy recovery ; my thoughts are with you both .

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 07 Nov 13 - 06:06 PM

Well, I guess the thread name could be changed to "Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013"...

Tom is on his way with the EMTs back to Wentworth-Douglass Hospital.

We found out this morning that his emergency button does, indeed, work -- while I was at a doctor's appointment, Tom fell trying to get from his wheelchair into what he thought was the recliner...and ended on the floor. He got a lift assist from the Nottingham EMTs.

I was upstairs trying to decompress from the adventures of the day when I heard an unusual noise and went downstairs to investigate. Tom was on the floor close to his side of the table and his wheelchair was in the kitchen. I asked him what had happened and he said he had trouble getting out of bed. I explained that he hadn't been in bed...but he had evidently fallen asleep in the wheelchair. He was confused, but KNEW he was confused. And, even before I called 911, he came to the conclusion he needed to go back to the hospital.

So,,,he's on his way to the hospital. I've notified the emergency button people and the VNA (since he was to have both a visiting nurse and physical therapy tomorrow), posting here and and Facebook, and sending a few emails to let people know what's happening.

As soon as I finish here, I'm off to the emergency room...

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: maeve
Date: 07 Nov 13 - 07:48 PM

Light and love heading to you both, Linn and Tom.

Maeve

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST,laptopgnu
Date: 07 Nov 13 - 10:29 PM

Oh dear. My heart goes out.......

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 07 Nov 13 - 10:40 PM

Oh, I'm so sorry that he has had to go back to the hospital.

I guess I'm back to sending you virtual hugs.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Jeri
Date: 07 Nov 13 - 11:12 PM

Well, this completely sucks.
But he's in a place where he can get appropriate care, and maybe you can not have to worry about immediate emergencies. Still sucks.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 12:26 AM

That fall when he missed the wheelchair may have consequences now. I hope it is resolved quickly and easily.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 01:19 AM

Left the ER just after midnight after a talk with the hospitalist. She was in the process of admitting him to the CCU.

Not really much to report -- pretty much the same as last time. They had some problems putting a central line in, but succeeded.

It's 1:14 a.m. -- I still have to wind down a bit before I can fall asleep.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 02:20 AM

best wishes to you both

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 09:52 AM

I think I just lost the stub of a post -- I was looking for the CCU phone number.

Tom can have phone calls and visitors. The CCU phone number at Wentworth-Douglass is 603-740-2294.

I talked to Tom this morning and he sounds good. I'll call again before I head over.

I've just wrapped up a few necessary phone calls, etc. and had a nice talk with Tom's cardiologist's nurse. I should be heading to the hospital soon.

I'll go right from Dover to the Press Room session this afternoon and then probably return to the hospital to say goodnight to Tom.

But I won't be away from a computer until I get home tonight.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: JudyB
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 10:00 AM

Sending hugs to you both.

~JudyB

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: gnu
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 10:28 AM

Hugs here, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 10:33 AM

And from across the pond...

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: maeve
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 01:19 PM

I just tried to call Tom, but the nurse was in with him...you as well, probably. I'll try again later, Linn.

I don't make long distance calls to just anyone, you know! :)

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: billybob
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 01:33 PM

Just sending love xxxx to you both.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 06:22 PM

wishing the best possible for both of you. Do give yourself some R&R while Tom is bein cared for by the pro's. Thinking of you.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 10:19 PM

But I won't be away from a computer until I get home tonight.

Sigh. What I meant to say was either "I won't be AT a computer until I get home tonight" or "I'll be away from the computer until I get home tonight."

Anywho, I'm home...and I'm here at the computer.

Try him again, Maeve. I think actually he may have been sleeping when you called. He didn't get any sleep at all last night and was persuaded to get into bed (he was in a chair when I got there -- he wouldn't order lunch until I got there) and try to catch up on some sleep. So I read quietly at his side until I left for the Press Room session.

When I got back tonight at around 8:00 to say goodnight to him, he was asleep. He woke up long enough when I kissed him to know I was there. Asked if he wanted me to stay or if he wanted to sleep. He wanted to sleep, so I told him I'd call him in the morning. I'm pretty tired, too.

Had a, well, productive talk with his intensivist (who had been part of the team last month). Realistic talk. No, he still won't say, "Tom's got 6 months...a year...whatever..." Because, quite honestly, they DON'T know. But he basically confirmed why I've inferred from his other doctors' comments. And again, no surprises. Tom is going to die. But, then again, so am I. It's just that Tom will in all likelihood die a lot sooner than I will. Maybe not in the next week, next month... But he COULD. It's a pretty good bet he won't challenge his cousin's longevity. (She's 93.) Tom is 71. 80 is a long shot. 75, actually, is probably not likely. He could live comfortably for a year...or maybe not. He's tough. And he's stubborn.

But the fact of the matter is that Tom and I have a finite -- and limited -- amount of time left together...so every day has to count. It's not a big surprise...but it IS something that I would prefer not to be thinking about. But mostly I'm thinking about what will make him happy and comfortable. I love him.

And I have to go to bed.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Nov 13 - 03:50 AM

I know you knew but you just turned a huge corner which Karen and I had to turn as well. There is nothing more important or precious than our time together. Great value lies in each somewhat fleeting moment........

Much Love to Both of You from Both of Us


Pat and Karen

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: gnu
Date: 09 Nov 13 - 06:55 AM

"But mostly I'm thinking about what will make him happy and comfortable. I love him."

Says it all.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Megan L
Date: 09 Nov 13 - 09:05 AM

Thinking of you both Days don't matter, minutes are precious

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 Nov 13 - 09:58 AM

Can you take some of this time while Curmudgeon is in the hospital to empty that room and build a ramp and have the house set up properly to receive someone who needs to be rolled from the car to the bed in a room set so he can't easily fall out of bed or fall out of the chair? I know this was your plan, but you had daily comings and goings tying up your time to make those preparations.

I hope they're able to send home a comfortable Tom, and perhaps offer a salve that, when applied, softens the obstinance of the patient about doing things in a way so it doesn't result in a fall or an extra trip up and down stairs for you. :)

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 Nov 13 - 10:12 AM

One day at a time, Linn. In a way you have been given a gift, a chance to spend as much quality time together as possible.
Thinking of you both,
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 09 Nov 13 - 06:18 PM

I thought I'd get home from the hospital this afternoon and get all sorts of things done. Uh uh. Gravity is turned way up. 5:30 is a lousy time for a nap...so that's out. Will call Tom in a little while. HE was taking a nap when I left the hospital...

But I actually got some stuff accomplished during the visit. (Besides the fact that Tom said he felt more alive, alert and energetic after I got there.) Got him to order lunch, first off. And was able to sign some of the innumerable papers that seem to materialize (and, even with a template -- which he didn't have with him -- is very difficult for him).

I've been trying to put together a list of the songs Tom sang along with who he learned them from, and we made major inroads today. We also learned a lot from a cardiologist/ICD specialist who remembered Tom from when he was in the CCU after breaking his ankle a year and a half ago. (And, more importantly, I feel very confident of her analysis and input.) And got all of Jan Marx's photos from 2007 PMFF mounted and in page protectors to put in the archives. Oh, and read a bit more of "Gastronomical Me" by M.F.K. Fisher to Tom.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: maeve
Date: 09 Nov 13 - 06:57 PM

I chatted briefly with Tom this morning, Linn. Not a satisfying conversation due to background music, I think, but it was so good to as least hear his soft voice.

Love to you both,

Maeve

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 01:34 AM

I am sure you will continue to do your best to help Tom as much as you possibly can. I wish he could be safe and at home with you.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 08:16 AM

I don't know whether I need to be concerned or not...

Tom was napping when I left the hospital yesterday at 3:30. I called him around 6:00 and found he was still asleep. His nurse ordered him a tuna salad sandwich and some mac & cheese for when he woke in case the kitchen was closed. When I called again at 9:30, he was back asleep. He had been awake for a little while, but all he'd wanted to eat was ice cream, which he was given.

I just called this morning (8:00-ish)...he's still asleep. I didn't talk to his nurse, but I will as soon as I get there a little later this morning. (If not sooner when I call again.)

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: maeve
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 02:59 PM

Thinking of you, Linn. There's a (((hug))) for each of you flapping in the air just to your right.

Maeve

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: gnu
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 04:16 PM

I'll take the left.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Mrrzy
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 04:22 PM

If you take it it's not left.

A little levity to help things along.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 05:56 PM

I hope Tom is having pleasant dreams! You might want to take a nap too and have your own pleasant dreams. Sending Light, Love, and Hugs!

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 05:57 PM

If we didn't keep laughing, we'd slit our wrists...and there's no future in that.

Today was a pretty intense day -- on both ends of the spectrum. It ranged from the kind of discussion with several of Tom's doctors, his nurse, Tom and I, the kind of discussion you don't look forward to, but which is a necessity and a reality...regarding issues that really can't be postponed any further.

And a surprise gift left in the waiting room and brought in by the receptionist. The card on the top reads, "Tom and Linn, Sending love and good healing energy!" It was signed, "The World." While I suspect its origins were a little more local, it included a bottle of wine, a plum tart, a wonderful chorizo, kale and potato soup (heavily garlicked) which I'm eating right now along with a slice from the included boule. And a autumnally colored and beautifully scented bouquet.

And three waves of visiting friends, with a long visit from two of Tom's grade and high school classmates sandwiched in the middle.

Tom's energy level stayed really good throughout the visits and the conversations -- all of them -- were lively. And, even after being married to Tom for 31-1/2 years, I learned more about him.

We're both "carpe-ing the snot out of" every "diem"...

I'll know more about the immediate game plan tomorrow. Tom had moved back into bed just before I left. I'll call him in a little while and then again later to say goodnight.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Noreen
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 06:34 PM

Sounds like a wonderful day, Linn. May you and Tom have many more.

Well done, the World ��

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: GUEST,MaineDog
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 06:51 PM

I'm remembering the time when Gail was suffering in and out of the hospital, its not an easy job to see a spouse in difficulty.
He needs you now to be an advocate and guardian, from this fact you can call up strength that you didn't know you have.

I recently went thru a major combination of illnesses that I muddled through without realizing how serious the were. Now that I am better, I can see that I should have had more faith in the quality of the medical providers who helped me thru it all. I wasted a lot of energy worrying about insurance details that I didn't understand properly, and also medical details, because I did not have an advocate.

So, do your best in the areas of your abilities, get help from trusted friends, but understand that you are not in control of the situation, and call upon your personal higher power for wisdom and solace. (also use plenty of wine and music!)
Best of wishes for you both,
Jim

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: gnu
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 07:15 PM

I am here.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Charley Noble
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 08:55 PM

Lots more hugs from Judy and I.

Charlie and Judy

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 10:11 PM

Thank you all for being here when we both need you. I just talked to Tom -- he wasn't awake when I called around 7pm. We said goodnight and I'll call him again in the morning. I just had a wonderful two hour conversation with a friend of ours in Ontario, Canada. There just doesn't seem to be enough time to talk to friends...there are so many more I need to connect with by phone.

Maine Dog, I've been Tom's advocate and guardian through an awful lot especially over the past 10 years. No way I'm quitting now. This is all a part of the cycle of life. I wouldn't miss it even if I could, hard as it is. When he comes home, we'll have even more support (from local services) than we've had, and I know we'll need it. And we have an incredible bunch of friends, local and (thanks to Mudcat) around the world.

If we make it to December 15th, we'll have been together for 33 years.

Oh...I've got to go to bed, I think. Good night. Tomorrow is another day...

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: ranger1
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 10:23 PM

Hugs.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Jeri
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 11:27 PM

Hugs from me, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 12:20 AM

What a wonderful gift someone sent. Thanks, whoever you are - for that thoughtful gesture.

Linn, a huge hug. Get enough sleep so you can make it through the day, whatever it throws at you.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Megan L
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 03:19 AM

thinking of you both

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: GUEST,open mike
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 04:16 AM

Linn, take a deep breath. A caregiver's life can be a stressful one. Hugs to both you and Tom during this trying time. Enjoy each moment!

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 04:58 AM

adding to the hugs winging your way.

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Janie
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 06:04 AM

I haven't chimed in much, Linn, but do read daily. Continuing to keep both of you in my thoughts and meditations.

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: jacqui.c
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 06:50 AM

What Janie said.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: gnu
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 07:41 AM

Hope ya got some sleep.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: mouldy
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 08:37 AM

Your strength and resilience never ceases to amaze me. And that goes for you both. It IS part of the circle of life, as you say...but that don't make it any easier to bear!

Love, strength and healing (in all ways) to you both!

Andrea

xxx

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 10:24 AM

Tom was asleep when I called him around 8 a.m. He HAD been awake, but was back asleep according to his nurse. So I got showered and my hair washed and now I'm eating some more of that wonderful soup and bread left for us yesterday.

I just posted this Saturday's Press Room shanty sing -- life does, indeed, go on. I don't know if Tom will still be at the hospital on Saturday or at home in hospice/palliative care. Either way, I need both to sing and to be with friends.

Just talked to him -- he's awake, alert, sounding good...and impatient for me to get there. So I'll wrap up a few things (like my breakfast) and head out soon.

I'm taking a small child's guitar with me (it's just easier than carrying his Guild -- and will be easier in his lap as well) and a handful of thumb picks so that Tom can demonstrate for me his "Anglo-Saxon crash thud" method of guitar playing -- then I can start to relearn how to play guitar, but with his style. Bringing some archival work, too, to occupy myself if he needs to rest. I'll be there again for most of the day.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: catspaw49
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 03:29 PM

Much Love.......big hugs!


Spaw

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 03:49 PM

Lots of us reading daily and sending all the positive thoughts we can muster.
Just "keep on keeping on"... as if you needed that advice ☺ ♥♥♥ ☺

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: Nancy King
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 04:25 PM

Thinking of you and Tom, and sending good wishes your way!

Nancy

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: GUEST,Joan
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 05:24 PM

Sorry to hear this, We have been away. Since I got my I-phone I spend little time on the computer. We had to be on Airplane Mode while out of the country. Not keeping up with a lot of things. Much going on in our lives too, with the two new great-grand kids life is, "get ready GO"!!! :))
We got home last night from our 60th wedding anniversary present. Had a wonderful time in George Town, Exhumas. That's where we would take the boat in the old days, I would play Tom's disk every Friday night.. We missed our Fri. nights at PR.
(Still do )I will try to keep looking at mudcat and what is happening. Our prayers are out there with the three rainbows we saw over the ocean... Can rainbow light count??

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: gnu
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 05:59 PM

Jus checkin.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 06:39 PM

Good day. Good meeting with Dr. Al-Alwan basically going over what we went over with Dr. Wheeler and Dr. Joventino yesterday. Then, early this afternoon, we met with the hospice/palliative care team.

Whew! Good meetings. Necessary. Productive. But draining. Plus Tom and I had some more time to talk about Life, the Universe, and Everything...and the Infinite and what's on the other side and all that metaphysical stuff.

Then came the rounds of visitors -- another classmate of Tom's and her husband. And I finally got to meet her, though we've spoken on the phone and emailed any number of times. And as they were leaving, another good friend showed up.

And Tom had a chance to demonstrate the "Anglo-Saxon crash thud" so maybe I can start practicing. And I showed off (to nurses and such) some photographs from 1986 and 1987, even though I didn't have time to start prepping them for the archives.

Tom is looking and sounding good. Right now I think he's more awake than I am. Somehow gravity got way turned up at sometime this afternoon.

Oh, the coup of the morning was two of Harvey's cream horns from the Waterfall Café in the lobby. And, despite the orders for only clear liquids while he was on one of the IV meds, Tom DID get a decent sized bite of a cream horn to satisfy his curiosity.

Linn

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: GUEST,celtaddict (cookieless?)
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 07:30 PM

You are both in my thoughts. I admire you hugely for the will you have brought to the tasks of this chapter. Hugs.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: JudyB
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 09:11 PM

Thank you for taking the time to post the updates, Linn - I'm another one who checks regularly - and who keeps you both in my thoughts and prayers.

Sending light and love....

Judy

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 09:33 PM

Hugs from me, too, Linn!

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: Dave'sWife
Date: 12 Nov 13 - 03:07 AM

Thanks, Linn. I try to check regularly too. I just don't know what to say anymore other than I love you and I think about you both every day. I am happy to hear that things are progressing as they should right now towards the kind of care that will be necessary and I'm also happy to hear that you have had the chance to actually talk about "Life, The Universe and Everything" because so few people do get that chance when the health crises start multiplying.
Love to you both.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: Dorothy Parshall
Date: 12 Nov 13 - 07:55 AM

You are on my mind as you travel this important journey together.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: billybob
Date: 12 Nov 13 - 02:14 PM

Sending love to you both
from billy and me

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 12 Nov 13 - 07:23 PM

It is, truly, one day at a time.

On my way over to the hospital this morning, I swung past Hyder Family Hospice Home in Dover...and then met with the liaison today. She's a wonderful person who is so very much in the best possible job for her. Tom and I had a grand time talking to her while we worked out a game plan, signed papers (ach! bureaucracies!) and stuff. And, it turns out, she used to work with our nurse-practitioner friend Rita Pomerleau in another life. (Before she met with us, Sue had read the article on Tom from last September - Ode to Tom Hall and forwarded it to others at the hospice -- and Rita was quoted in the article.)

So...tomorrow morning, Tom will be moved to Hyder House where he will stay for as long as necessary. The game plan is for Tom to come home at some point...so he can die at home in the familiar surroundings of the house that he built, with me and the cats and friends and music...

I keep feeling as if there are people I'm forgetting to tell...believe it or not, there are friends who seldom check Mudcat...or even seldom check Facebook. Some people I actually have to CALL rather than email...;-)

Well, that's today -- I've pretty much got stuff updated here and I've eaten supper and will go upstairs and call another friend in another time zone. And pet the cats. And have another glass of wine, elderberry this time, made by a friend which makes it even better than the fine wine it is.

Tom and I are very very rich in friends. Thank you all so much for being here with us.

Linn

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: Bill D
Date: 12 Nov 13 - 07:37 PM

Sounds like a reasonable decision.

It eases MY concern about having to deal with Winter & snow & ice in uncertain medical circumstances.

Having a 'safe' place with decent care should ease much of the stress.

Best of luck with this new chapter in an amazing journey.. (I enjoyed the article a lot... Tom has given so much, and I sincerely hope he gets to the Press Room now & then...)

(are there any videos of Tom singing/playing?)

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: mg
Date: 12 Nov 13 - 07:47 PM

You have done all that you could and now others can assume the logistics and you can do all the loving stuff..that ice situation had me very worried too.mg

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: ranger1
Date: 12 Nov 13 - 08:00 PM

Bill, here are a couple that I know of:

Battle of Bull Run
Bound Away For Australia

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: Bill D
Date: 12 Nov 13 - 08:39 PM

Thanks, Tami! I guess I could have looked them up. I was fortunate to hear Tom a couple times on their one trip to the Getaway... nice to remember.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 07:09 AM

It's so early yet...I woke sometime between 5 an 5:30. No panic attack (I've been awakening to some of those lately), but couldn't concentrate on the mindless mystery, fidgety, and very very teary for no real reason.

I don't often cry. Never did as a kid, and I've made it to 64 with most of my few tears being tears of frustration (well, except for some of those raging hormonal unbalance tears during perimenopause when a picture of a puppy, or a something about a stranger on the radio would bring tears to my eyes; but not real crying).

Before six I decided to call Tom because I really needed to hear his voice. He'd been asleep both times I'd called last night -- glad I'd told him "goodnight" just in case before I left the hospital. Reached Cindi, the nurse who saw us through so much last year after his broken ankle. Told her I didn't usually call this early, but if he was awake, I'd like to talk to him. He was awake. Not only awake, but alert an in good spirits, so we talked for awhile. I still kept tearing up and having trouble talking -- for no real reason. Talked about the conversations I had last night with friends, the people I still needed to call.

Just finished a cup of the chorizo/kale soup -- it's hearty, healthy, filling and makes a good meal no matter what time it is. Too early to start making phone calls, but I can get another bag or so ready for Goodwill. And I just thought of something my neighbor CAN do for me since she keeps offering and seems to be frustrated that she can't contribute something.

Bill, as far as I know, there are only those two videos at YouTube of Tom singing. Joe Stead of Kimber's Men took them at a house concert at Sinsull's about 6 months before Tom's cancer diagnosis. We have one professionally (Chris Biggi/Sunset Ridge) recorded was cassette from 1988/now digitized to CD. I've been hoping (time...time...and learning how to do it) to put some of these songs on YouTube illustrated with some of my photographs. I don't want Tom's voice to be forgotten.

Trying to make up my mind if I need to go back to sleep for an hour or so...

Later,
Linn

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: maeve
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 07:27 AM

You have cause for tears, Linn, and cause for rejoicing as well. Love to you and Tom, and my thanks to those who are helping you both.

Maeve

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 08:25 AM

Oh, sweet Linn, I spend so little time here nowadays that I've missed this. You have been a tower of strength, so it's no wonder that sometimes cracks form and the tears leak out. Let them- they'll wash away at least some of the stress, for a time.

Two hours away seems like two thousand, but truly, if there's anything I can do...

Light and love flowing to you and Tom.

Allison

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: SINSULL
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 08:41 AM

I never kept a diary of our house concerts and song circles - a mistake. But I do remember the recordings of both Tom and Barry. Sometimes I visit them on Utube for a "fix". I am very glad those exist. There may be more because Jacqui occasionally recorded stuff with her cell phone. Sadly, Old Shep, comes to mind.

One precious day at a time.
SINS

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: gnu
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 09:05 AM

Linn... "Thank you all so much for being here with us."

Thank you, and Tom, for being here with us. My thoughts and prayers, my heart, go out to you both.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: Megan L
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 09:22 AM

Why am I walking on this road?
I walk because it's there oh
Its not the road I'd choose to walk
But it will go somewhere oh

        Oh this road is hard
And this road is long
But the ending is in sight now
We will carry on until it ends
With the precious rest of night now.

I won't walk of and leave you now
We've walked so far together
We'll make it now this last long mile
And never mind the weather.

MHTBL nov 13 2013 14:22

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: Dorothy Parshall
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 09:23 AM

I do believe that tears are a healthy form of expression, whether happiness, sadness, fear, frustration, the whole spectrum of feelings. Let it rain, let it pour, let the tears wash over you as the journey continues. Do not deny anyone the privilege of lending assistance. You have many, many companions lending their support.

And a very sensible self who is getting you through this.

You are so much on my mind, all day.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 10:08 AM

Linn, we're helping you with shedding tears (and I haven't even met Tom!) so don't worry about that. Crying will keep you healthy.

If your folkies are anything like the folkies my Dad congregated with, quite often someone in the room had a recorder (of some sort) going. I suspect if you put out a call for audio recordings you will find many, and then if you put them on YouTube with a slide show, there you go. And I have been intending to do something like that with some of my father's songs, so if you do it, I'll learn from you.

I'm glad you had a good talk this morning.

Maggie

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 04:59 PM

For whatever reason (they'd tried to wean him off a med; ended up putting him back on, given him some extra pain meds, etc.) anyway, by the time I got to the hospital he was in bed, very sleepy (they'd been afraid he'd fall out of the chair), his color wasn't good despite the oxygen...

He was moved to Hyder Family Hospice House in Dover, NH (phone [phone]) this afternoon.

But things seem to be moving a lot faster than we had expected (well, that I had expected!). His nurse in the CCU, the nurse liaison with Hyder House, and the doctor at Hyder House have said the end could be any time...tonight, tomorrow morning...

Tom asked me to spend the night and there's a bed in the room with him.

I ducked back home to wrap up a few things, phone calls, feed the cats, cancel the electrician tomorrow...

Post here, of course.

I'll link to Mudcat from Facebook, throw some necessities in a bag and head back.

Thank you all for all the warm thoughts, prayers, white light...I'm grateful that Tom will have a "good death" without pain and with all his faculties intact and with me with him. It would have been nice for it to be at home with the cats (I COULD bring the cats, but I think that would be too complicated), but it doesn't look like that's a possibility.

Linn

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: catspaw49
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 05:10 PM

it always comes too quickly but you and Tom have all our love.


Pat and Karen

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: Bill D
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 05:14 PM

♥♥♥♥♥ ∞

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: ClaireBear
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 05:38 PM

Ah, sweet woman. You are doing so well, giving yourself to this time. Bright blessings to you both, and much love to you both, too.

Give Tom a kiss -- you don't have to tell him it's from me unless you want to.

Hugs,
Claire

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: GUEST,Rominy
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 06:01 PM

Holding you, and sending love.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: GUEST,Doryman
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 06:01 PM

Words just don't work......our hearts are with you and dear Tom.
Love both of you.
Peter and Audi

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: Charley Noble
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 06:02 PM

Linn-

Thanks for sharing this sad news with us. Sad that we're losing someone we all care for deeply, as a mentor and as a long-time friend.

At least some of us have had some time to express that to Tom directly over this past year.

Give him our best once again, and our best to you.

Charlie and Judy

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 06:22 PM

Sorry to hear this.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: GUEST,Peadar (formerly) of Portsmouth
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 06:37 PM

I'm still trying to process this news, but my heart breaks upon hearing it. Love to you both, Linn, and eternal gratitude to Tom for his guidance and friendship.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: GUEST,E.V.
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 06:45 PM

So sorry to hear this Linn. Sending lots of love your way! Tom and you make the world a better place. Peace and Love...

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: gnu
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 06:50 PM

Spaw... "all our love" No more need be said.

All my love.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: Maryrrf
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 06:56 PM

Linn, I don't post much and I have not met you and Tom personally, but I have been following your brave journey via your postings. There is no easy way for things to end, but you have surely made things as gentle as possible for Tom. Blessings to both of you.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: GUEST,celtaddict
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 06:58 PM

Peace and love to you both, Linn, as you and Tom go further into this next leg of the journey.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: maeve
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 07:05 PM

My dear Linn,

My husband and I are on vigil with you tonight. I'm glad you will be together, and that you could make these loving plans together. None of us knows what the next hour will bring, never mind the next night or day or week. You've done well by one another, you and Tom.

Love be on you as you travel together as far as you can.

Maeve

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 07:16 PM

My God, how did I miss this????????

Linn, what everyone else has said -- and may you both have peace and yes, joy.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: Phil Edwards
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 07:20 PM

I don't know you or Tom, Linn, but this thread has moved me deeply.

How frantic the last month has been - how hard you've worked and how little respite there's been. (Very familiar from when my mother died - it's brought it all back.) There are no words for where you are at the moment, but remember that there will be rest at the end of it - for you as well as for Tom. Take care of yourself.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: jacqui.c
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 07:25 PM

Here and thinking of you both.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: Janie
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 07:28 PM

May the two of you rest well tonight, wrapped in the love and comfort of being together.

Hugs.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: RTim
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 07:49 PM

Thinking of you both at this time.

Tim Radford

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: Amergin
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 07:49 PM

I haven't posted on this thread...but I have been following it. I am sorry to hear this news, Linn....my thoughts are with you and Tom.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: GUEST,Claire
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 08:09 PM

Love and hugs to you both. Holding you in the Light, now and ever.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: Noreen
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 08:27 PM

Much love, calm and strength to you both. Xxx

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: ranger1
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 08:43 PM

Love and white light.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: DebC
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 09:01 PM

Linn and Tom,

John Roberts and I are here in California and we want you both to know that you are in our thoughts.

Love and peace,
Deb Cowan

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: GUEST,Mary Ackerman
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 09:39 PM

Dear sweet loving Linn,
So sorry to read your post tonight, but the angels in heaven are by yours and Tom's side. How wonderful that you are together at this time. Please know that you are both in my thoughts and prayers. Much love to you, Mary

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: KathWestra
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 09:41 PM

Dear Linn and Dear Tom,
Sending much love to you both on this longest night. May you both feel nurtured and sustained by the deep love and commitment you have shared for so long. So glad that hospice affords this time for you to be together for whatever time you have. Holding you both in my heart.
Kathy

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: GUEST,Dani
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 09:50 PM

Dear Linn, I am thinking of you and Tom tonight, sending a prayer from North Carolina for contentment, peace and light for the both of you, alone and together.

It's a cold, cold moonlit night here, getting late. I imagine it is even colder there, but then I imagine a circle of love and warmth surrounding you both.

And I am so very glad you have each other for comfort.

Dani

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: GUEST,Julia L
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 10:11 PM

A blessing for Tom from the ancient ones...

You're going home tonight to the house of Winter
To the house of Autumn and Spring and Summer
You're going home tonight on the music of poets
Fair companions await you on the shores of Tír na n-Óg               
Guardian Angels with you in sleep                        
Brighid the Healer with you in sleep
All Holy Ones surround you in sleep ..                                                                   Deep peace of the running wave to you.
Deep peace of the flowing air to you,
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you.
Deep peace of the blazing hearth to you,
Deep peace of the King of Peace to you.

Fare Well, friend
Julia & Fred

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 10:21 PM

I have sat back and followed this journey as a friend from afar. Knowing the two of you, it comes as no surprise to me that you are giving us a tutorial on how soul mates make this trek together. I spent some time on my hill this week, and sang a song of thanksgiving for two good people teaching us how to walk with grace. Tom, you old grump, you are a blessed man to have this partner, and so many people who are happy you have been in their lives. Linn, words fail me. You two are as one, you have always drawn on each other. To watch you as you go through the highs and the lows of this journey leaves me hoping that I have that kind of love and support.

I sing your song.

Mick

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: Padre
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 10:29 PM

Linn and Tom,

I've never met you all, but your journey in this post has truly touched me. I will be praying for you both in the Mass this week.

Padre

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: JennyO
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 10:45 PM

Sending you both love from over here in the UK. Together till the end as soulmates should be, and carried on your journey by all our loving thoughts.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: Jeri
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 11:19 PM

Home, and knackered. Otherwise, I would have come by. Tom was the major reason I moved here. Finding Tom, you, and the Press Room, I knew: here was my home.
Big hug.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 11:39 PM

Anyone got a tissue? Wait, we may need a whole case sooner than hoped for.

Things seem to be moving fast.

Wishing peace to both of you, Linn and Tom.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: KT
Date: 13 Nov 13 - 11:51 PM

Linn, and Tom, though we only met once, at the Getaway, I feel that I've learned much from and about you, from your generosity of spirit in sharing your brave and profound journey with all of us. Holding you both in heart and mind, and offering a prayer for comfort and peace. with love,
KT

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 01:54 AM

as ChanteyLass said - Wishing peace to both of you, Linn and Tom.

sandra

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: GUEST,From ,Chris Vaughan.
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 02:51 AM

Sadness is not a word that i can use to describe how i feel. i who am usually so good with words am at a loss to enunciate how i feel.Grief,disbelief,flows over me like an unwelcome tide. Tom Hall taught me so much,guided me,helped me,by kindness,and critic, "Chris, yer a lovely man,and ye write some great songs,but ye need tae get some voice lessons!" He was right ,as always.and i took that to heart.With his advice i think my voice has slightly improved! Love you,Tom and Linn.xxx. If you want to learn more about Tom and Linn.there is a great article in the Spotlight Magazine. 09/26/2013 at www.seacoastonline.com.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: GUEST,LTS on an android
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 03:14 AM

A candle burns here, may it light the way to peace and tranquility, warm the weary traveller and bring comfort to those who wait til they meet again.

Thinking of you all.

LTS

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: My guru always said
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 03:27 AM

So very sorry to read this news and I echo all the thoughts of others near and far. Candle lit here at Old Keepers for Tom for a peaceful passing, and sending love and hugs to you both. Hil xx

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: Megan L
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 03:33 AM

I have no words today to many memories but I am thinking of you and praying for peace and rest for you.

Meg

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: GUEST,Partridge
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 04:41 AM

So sorry to hear this Linn, thinking of you with love.

Pat

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: GUEST,Giok
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 04:46 AM

Linn, I don't "do" Mudcat now, but when I read Tami's post on FB, I had to come here, to express me sadness.
You are both good friends, and I cherish my visits to the Press Room, so I have those memories to sustain me.
You are blessed with many good friends, and Jeri is close by, she'll be a rock for you to lean on, I'm sure. So I know you'll have close as well as distant support.
Blessings on you both.

John

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: maeve
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 05:34 AM

Morning here, dark and cold, yet light and warmth will return. Love you.

Maeve and Truelove

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 06:06 AM

Having 'been there myself', I have some understanding of what you are enduring.
Along with all your Mudcat Friends, I send Love & Compassion.
                              Holding You both in my thoughts,
                                                                                 Nigel.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 06:26 AM

Lighting a candle in my heart,

with love to you both

Wendy xxxxxx

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: mouldy
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 06:33 AM

Trying to send as much love and strength as I can to you both, and hoping that my efforts are good enough. Even if I only add one little thread to the blanket of love, light and good thoughts that is wrapping itself surely around you, I will be content.

A good death is all that any of us can wish for, as we step out onto the next part of our journey, and it seems that Tom's passing is possibly going to be such a one.

Deep peace to you both

Andrea xxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: JennieG
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 06:47 AM

Linn, sending you both blessings and love....we've never met in person, but I'm another who has been following your thread about Tom.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 06:55 AM

Sad news.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: LilyFestre
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 07:28 AM

Good Morning Linn,

Sending my love and many prayers for a deep peace, love and a sense of calm in your hearts.

XOXOXOXOX

Michelle

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: GUEST, Bat Goddess
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 07:48 AM

It's morning. Tom is still asleep. I asked the nurses whether it was sleep or pain meds, and they said he really hasn't needed much pain medication. They said his breathing has slowed, which is normal. I'm sure I'll be able to talk to the doctor in charge within the hour or so.

I slept bettter than I had expected. I think the oxygen machine's susura reminded my body of the ocean.

A phone call from Ranger1 reached me just as I was being shown where these computers are. Right now I need to call someone Tom taught with at Whittier for many years -- he moved to New Hampshire and set up his garage on Tom's recommendation. He talked to Tom last night, but REALLY wants to see him one last time and I promised I'd call this morning.

I'll be back here. We are so blessed with friends. I couldn't do this alone. Well, I could, but it would be an entirely different experience.

Speaking of experience, Tom said the other day this he's looking forward to this...this new experience.

Linn

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: ranger1
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 07:48 AM

I'm headed down to the hospice in a few minutes. Will liberally dispense hugs from all.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: SINSULL
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 07:50 AM

Just checking in. Hope you both spent a peaceful night.
M

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 07:56 AM

So glad you got some rest, Linn. I thought of the two of you every time I woke in the night. Will be thinking of you all day.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: Brian Peters
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 08:08 AM

I've been deeply moved by this account. My very best to you, Linn, and to Tom, and may the bravery, love and humanity that burst shining from your bulletins continue to support you.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 08:17 AM

I've been of Facebook, but this computer is sooooooooo painfully slow there.

Peter, if you want to come, please do -- others are on the way.

As far as I know, Tom is still asleep...and may stay mostly asleep today.

But he'll "know" you're here...and I definitely will.

Linn

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: gnu
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 08:33 AM

Peace and love. r1 is now on her way out the door as posted on Facebook a minute ago.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 08:55 AM

Dear Tom and Linn,

We walk this journey with you through your notes and the messages of all who love and care for you so deeply. They reflect the lives you have lived together and the joy you have brought to so many through your music and your presence. May Tom's journey continue to be peaceful and may your joy in each other carry you through the next hours and days.

With love and healing thoughts,

Raelene and Dale

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 09:05 AM

To Linn and Tom

I don't know what to add that hasn't already been wished for you both. As much joy and peace as can be had in this stage of a very special journey.

With love, Tam

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 09:46 AM

Remember -- when a ship sails it might disappear from sight, but the ship continues to exist. You are part of each other -- always.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: JudyB
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 09:53 AM

Tom, sending light and love, to wrap you close and guide you on your way.

Linn, sending light and love, to give you strength as your journey changes.

Hugs to you both,
Judy

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: GUEST,Meg
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 10:30 AM

I have been following from Virginia. Grace and peace to both of you. Please tell Tom I said, "Thank you both for being my friends."   I have no more words, just sending forth thoughts of peace as Tom moves toward the dawning of a new day.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: RoyH (Burl)
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 11:13 AM

Elaine and I send our loving thoughts from the UK to both of you. .We haven't met but feel that wwe know you from Mudcat conversations, mainly about Nottingham, NH. Don't worry about tears, let them flow, they can bring you ease. It's good that you are together at this time, hold hands, and feel blessed by the long time you have had together. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Roy Harris

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: fat B****rd
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 11:16 AM

Linn, I can only send love and my very best thoughts to you and yours. Many of you know that, with my own recent loss, I understand completely what life is like for you just now and my heart goes out to you.
Charlie(fB) X

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: frogprince
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 11:34 AM

May you find strength, comfort and peace to carry you through this time.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: GUEST,GUEST Pam Biggi
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 12:47 PM

OH Linn! My heart is breaking for you and Tom! Hope the Hospice is wrong and Tom can make it another month for your anniversary. It's really hard but a better death when the loved one is there. Chris was totally *out of it* when he died, but I know I was there with him. I believe he did too, somewhere deep inside. Hugs and kisses to both of you. Will try to get up there tomorrow if he's still with us….
Love,
Pam

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Nov 13 - 04:44 PM

Tom Hall obituary thread.

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospice - [update 13 November]
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Nov 13 - 10:19 PM

Tom's obit thread is at

http://mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=152832&messages=65