BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees

Subject: BS: SecretSanta 2015-tormenting of Santees
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 17 Nov 14 - 06:55 PM

in the nicest possible way, of course!

I'll start by saying my poor Santee has not been in my thoughts - so far - but I promise to ponder more deeply upon your list & start gathering interesting & relevant stuff - sometime soon!

sandra (a very remiss Santa)

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2015-tormenting of Santees
From: GUEST,Secret Hollowfox Santa-Elf
Date: 17 Nov 14 - 08:25 PM

I know all about ye and yer gonna get it but good!

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: GUEST,Stilly's stealthy santa
Date: 18 Nov 14 - 06:50 AM

Oh yes Stilly - despite your late posting of your wish list this expert sleuth tracked down your earlier wish list and the parcel will soon be on it's way. Look to the skies!!!

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: GUEST,The Elf of The Secret Santa of Greg Stephens
Date: 18 Nov 14 - 07:13 AM

Greg, you have flummoxed my poor boss Santa because he knows nothing about you! Have you been slipping under Santa's radar all your life?

Regards
TEoTSSoGS

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: GUEST,Bat Goddess - Be Good!!
Date: 18 Nov 14 - 03:59 PM

I am instructed by the Boss Man to let you know that seeking your presents has now begun.

The cats have unfurled their wings to assist in the hunt - it's much easier from the air. They have also been issued with GPS and translation devices. Sadly, all they have used this complicated equipment for is tormenting the dog.

I will provide further updates as and when I get them.

Remember, the Boss Man is always watching - and so are the cats!

Your Best Elf.

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: GUEST,Bat Goddess - Be Good!
Date: 23 Nov 14 - 11:33 AM

I am aware that this is a double post, and I apologise.

The Boss Man has received reports from the cats - after they finished using their GPS to chase migrating birds - that they need clarification on your chocolate preferences. We are aware of your allergy to blue mussels, so have told the bodybuilders to put some clothes on. :-)

To prevent us having to send surveillance bats to check any further dietary likes and dislikes, please let us know.

Your Best Elf.

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: GUEST,Raparee's rascally, raffish, rapid & radiant
Date: 23 Nov 14 - 10:00 PM

Bullion! Bullion! Have you any idea of how much it costs to post solid gold nowadays?

On the other hand...

Hmmmm!

OK! I have an idea and will set the elves to work.

Bullion indeed, shakes head and wanders off to find a stiff drink.

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Nov 14 - 11:35 AM

Yeah, bullion. Pure gold bricks, solid Au clear through, each weighting 27.5 pounds avoirdupois.

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: GUEST,Sandra's santa
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 07:32 AM

My Elves have gone on a mission, but the zoo wont give them any penguins, so they are searching in far off lands, just hope they get back here in time for Christmas?

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: GUEST,billybob's santa
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 04:05 AM

elves are busy everywhere

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 09:17 AM

wahoo!! I have a Santa - thankyou, santa & elves

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 09:51 AM

Oh, my, Santa...chocolate. While I like chocolate a lot, my favorite sweet is actually caramel or butterscotch. (How I miss Callard & Bowser!!!) But a combination of chocolate and caramel...oh, my. And the combination of chocolate and licorice! Or chocolate and coffee... My favorite desert is probably espresso Romano (with dark rum).

Please don't wear the cats out. You know they need their nap time, holidays or not.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 11:30 AM

Dessert! That should have read "dessert"!

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: GUEST,Bat Goddess - Be Good!
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 11:36 AM

Apologies for the blank post above. Training up a new secretarial elf, and they haven't got used to the system yet. I guess I know who will be mucking out the reindeer stables after the Boss Man's big night. Still, if you want something doing, do it yourself. :-)

Thank you for that. I shall inform the cats of your preferences.

As to wearing the cats out, the supreme technological array here at Boss Man Base ensures that they get plenty of naps (usually around 16 hours sleep to 8 hours work).

Well, I say 8 hours work... Analysing the GPS data tells me that most of the "work" periods are spent in strangely warm situations, while the "nap" periods... are also spent in warm situations.

*looks at other elves* Do these cats actually DO any work?! No? Hmmm...

Might need further monitoring. I'll keep you posted.

Your Best Elf.

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: GUEST, Severn's Secretish Claus
Date: 01 Dec 14 - 08:36 AM

Figured I'd best reassure you that you do, indeed, have a Secret Santa, albeit a distracted and perhaps indolent Santa.

I've mentally "gathered" some, I think, perfect giftage, but have been positively ignoring some practical matters, such as clever postings here and finding an appropriate mailing container. Life keeps getting in the way. How, exactly, did it suddenly and without any warning at all, become December?!? Who'd a thunk it? -- October turning into November which morphed into December, I suppose...

I'm constantly amazed...

But at least you can be assured that I exist and gifts are at least being thought about and organized. But I'm going it alone...the elves and reindeer took an extended sabbatical and haven't returned. I keep getting postcards from tropical places...

Santa

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: GUEST,Secret Hollowfox Boss Santa-Elf
Date: 01 Dec 14 - 09:48 AM

I fired yer original elf fer redeing too much on the job. Santa don't 'low no redein' round here. We'll trie to git you anoder one in time fer yer gift. Don't hold yer breath tho, cause you'll turn blue and pass out! HAR HAR HAR HAR!!!

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: JennieG
Date: 01 Dec 14 - 03:10 PM

Yoo hoo Santa, are you there? I've been good......

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: Sarah the flute
Date: 01 Dec 14 - 04:47 PM

Sniff sniff - I appear to be Santaless
StF wallowing in despair

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: GUEST,Bat Goddess - Be Good!
Date: 03 Dec 14 - 08:29 PM

The cats have actually done some work! After many days of being directed towards warm corners, sun puddles, rugs in front of fires and assorted hiding boxes, they have finally given an indication of potential gift locations.

I now just hope you like catnip and bits of paper tied to long strings!

We shall be investigating these pointers within the next 24 hours.

Your Best Elf.

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: GUEST,SS of Flute, Sarah The, at your service
Date: 04 Dec 14 - 12:36 AM

Sorry about the radio silence, but reindeer games require supervision and ran a bit long this year. The Hinterland has no Internet.

Your parcel should be in the hands of Herbie the Elf in the next few days and he promises to drop it off in plenty of time (he has an in with Rudolph).

Santa

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 14 - 09:26 AM

Santa, BAY-BEEE!!

How are ya? Whatcha been up to? Still got that North Pole gig goin', huh? And how's your reindeer sausage venture doin'? Pretty good, I hope! You get that little issue with Food and Drug worked out? I thought that commercial with the elf-babe saying, "I just LOVE my Santa Sausage" was great! Listen, gotta run -- stuff in the works, ya know! Lissen, keep in touch -- I might have another of those ventures to work on with you and this time it's a sure thing! Later, man!

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: GUEST,Bat Goddess - Be Good!
Date: 04 Dec 14 - 03:38 PM

Further to the previous message, we have followed up the pointers from the cats. This resulted in much growling and hissing when we returned home, as they were stroke deprived while doing so.

However, the indications seemed to be sound, and the majority of your parcel is now collected. The cats have received extra strokes, treats and catnip as rewards. We are still trying to work out how to fit the saddlebags to our delivery cat (a calico). Every attempt so far has resulted in at least one worker reporting to sickbay for elf care and a Band-Aid.

Our next communication will be when the parcel is on its' way.

Your Best Elf.

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: GUEST,Raparee's rascally, raffish, rapid & radiant
Date: 04 Dec 14 - 09:42 PM

Hi There big guy,

Just loaded the elves with your main bag of bullion and there will be a smaller one to come later. The main problem with bullion, as you know, is the postage for the weight so I had to send you a virtual bar in the parcel. Hope that's OK by you buddy.
Start watching for the arrival late next week.

Keep on being a good boy or I will have them bring it right on back here do you hear me?

Santa

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: Firecat
Date: 05 Dec 14 - 08:53 AM

Santa? Are you there?

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: GUEST,The Hallowed Harridan of Hollowfox
Date: 05 Dec 14 - 09:27 AM

Okay, it's Thecla Claus, better known to you as "Mrs. Claus." Both of those foolish elves are in a real stew now. Gotta keep the reindeer's strength up, you know.

They made a true has of it. Strawberry Jellyfish is not a condiment you need. And that beige and brown ottoman haunts my dreams!

I have personally chosen other things for you, my dear. So be patient a little longer.

You can call me 'Thecla'.

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: Anne Lister
Date: 05 Dec 14 - 02:57 PM

Not a peep from my Santa, either....

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: GUEST,Firecat's Frenzied Frosted Friend
Date: 05 Dec 14 - 03:04 PM

Lookie here, my deario, it's only December 5th. No need to get your knickers in a twist just yet - I've only just clocked on for the season and it's taking a while to get the boilers running, the hot water urn on for the necessary cup that cheers and the reindeers in some sort of training. You wouldn't believe how much weight they've put on in the past eleven months! At this rate we'll never get off the ground, let alone round to all the good children.
However there IS a package with your name on it, which I've seen to myself, and once everything is ticking over sweetly I'll get one of the elves to pop it over to you. That's if I can get one of them away from the fireside and the mugs of hot toddy.
So do not fret, young Firecat. All will be well.

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: Firecat
Date: 06 Dec 14 - 01:50 PM

Yay! Thanks for letting me know, Santa!

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: JennieG
Date: 06 Dec 14 - 03:49 PM

Sob.....

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: Sarah the flute
Date: 07 Dec 14 - 06:37 AM

WoooooHooooo! I have a Santa
Jumps up and down excitedly!

Thankyou Santa

I'm being very good

StF

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: JennieG
Date: 09 Dec 14 - 08:27 PM

Sniff.......

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: GUEST,Thecla Claus
Date: 09 Dec 14 - 09:30 PM

Dear Ms. Hollowfox,

Your gifts -- which were as expensive as journal subscriptions and as expansive as Charles Aimee Cutter's classification scheme -- were burned when the outhouse caught fire and it spread to Warehouse Number 3, where your gifts were stored.

Everything was a complete loss, but we will start over as soon as we catch those elves that left the fire suppression system be used as a giant distillery.

Do not fret, dearie. Thecla will come through for you.

Sincerely yours,
/s/
Thecla (Mrs. Santa) Claus

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: GUEST,Stilly's stealthy santa
Date: 10 Dec 14 - 07:11 AM

A little delay in hitching up the sleigh. Rudolph left his Sat Nav back at the North Pole so we had to return home. But now we are airborne again and your parcel took to the skies yesterday and hopefully with a little push from the elves will arrive in time.
Ho Ho Ho!

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: GUEST,Mary Barr's Secret Santa
Date: 10 Dec 14 - 11:35 AM

Hey! No Fair! This thread is supposed to be for tormenting Santees, not Santas! C'mon, Mary, you haven't given me any wishes or preferences to work with. Throw me a bone, would ya?

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: Anne Lister
Date: 10 Dec 14 - 03:27 PM

Joining JennieG in sniffing ...

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: JennieG
Date: 10 Dec 14 - 03:50 PM

I'll pass you my hanky, Anne......

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: Hollowfox
Date: 10 Dec 14 - 04:20 PM

Dearest Thecla, don't be too awful hard on the elves for my sake. After all, hidden stills are something of a folk art. (You can give 'em hell for the fire, though.) Don't break the bank on my pressies, please. Used cd's and books are just fine with me. (Used eatables, not so much.) Thank you for your patience with my tardiness, and I really enjoy your notes on this thread.

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: vectis
Date: 10 Dec 14 - 09:38 PM

1. What is your age range? over 60

2. Gender? F

3. Do you have a favorite color? Like strong colours esp red, blue, green, brown HATE pastel shades

4. Favorite authors/type of book? Art stuff always welcome

5. What books have you really been wanting? Songs of sailors and lumbermen (not sure of the exact title)

6. What type of music do you like? Folk

7. What CDs have you really been wanting? John Warner or Phil Garland, anything local to you or your own stuff.

8. What movies have you been wanting? (specify VHS if you don't have a DVD player) None

9. What is your t-shirt size? Oh! Dear! Large or XL I like them roomy

10. Do you collect anything? if so, what? Nothing anymore as I have nowhere to put stuff.

11. What are some of your other hobbies? Outdoor stuff, surfing, boats, fishing, geocaching and tramping.

12. Do you prefer gold-tone or silver-tone jewelry? Got too much already and rarely wear it nowadays.

13. Please include anything else you feel is important that would help your Secret Santa know what you would like. You can't send food to New Zealand unless it is manufactured and sealed. Bio security is strict here so no home made edible goodies I'm afraid.

Stuff about where you come from is always interesting and welcomed as is stuff you have made.

14. Remember that "negative hints" such as allergies might also be helpful. None that I know of but wool can make me itch a bit.

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: GUEST,Mary Barr
Date: 10 Dec 14 - 09:40 PM

Hi Santa. I am being really, very good. Check me out under my mudcat name...
I did put in some hints, honest.

YAY! I gotta Santa!

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: GUEST,Bat Goddess - Be Good!
Date: 11 Dec 14 - 01:18 PM

I can now confirm that the delivery calico has been bribed to put her saddlebags on with assorted tasty nibbles. The elves managed to load them up today. We can report that only 20 elves were badly scratched (down from 50 last year!), and a mere two hours ago, she enjoyed a whole salmon, unfurled her wings (which she had been refusing to reveal) and took off from Boss Man Base into the inky black of the sky. On her return to Boss Man Base, she will receive another salmon and free rein of the treat cupboard until January.

Keep an eye out for her!

Your Best Elf.

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: GUEST,Billybob's santa
Date: 11 Dec 14 - 04:28 PM

pressie heading off today

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: GUEST, Severn's Secretish Claus
Date: 12 Dec 14 - 12:40 PM

Okay. I've got a box... So far, so good.

Still getting collect phone calls from the so-called help... Tinkling of ice cubes in the background, but I don't think they're sitting on an iceberg. Useless elves getting schnockered with the reindeer.

Santa

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: JennieG
Date: 12 Dec 14 - 03:52 PM

Waahhhhh.......

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: Donuel
Date: 12 Dec 14 - 07:11 PM

Maybe its because I am half Jewish but I have never participated in a secret Santa ceremony/game/gift exchanges ever. If I really needed to know I would have googled it by now however if its not too late to begin I would like to join in. After ALL GIVING IS MORE SATISFYING THAN GETTING.

What would I have to do?

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: GUEST,The Elf of The Secret Santa of Greg Stephens
Date: 15 Dec 14 - 06:30 AM

Well Greg, my fellow elfses have been on the job collecting some goodies and when last seen were practising throwing stuff on Santa's sleigh......some of the throwing was not very accurate, wrapping paper and ribbon were flying everywhere, many presents lost their tags and wrappings so we have no idea what you may actually receive. A small elf told me that the tag for a doll for a six year old girl has been found but no doll has surfaced, so don't be surprised what you may find when your package finally gets to you.

I will not be answerable for the consequences.

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: GUEST,Sandra in sydney's santa
Date: 15 Dec 14 - 02:22 PM

Oh my days, those elves have been such pickles, first they drank the sherry , then they went disco dancing , hang overs and twisted ankles, but at last they have got organised and the parcel is ready, just hope that it gets to Sandra in time for Christmas, if not ,it is on its way xx

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 15 Dec 14 - 03:42 PM

thankyou santa!

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: JennieG
Date: 15 Dec 14 - 05:49 PM

Sandra, you are luckier than I am, it seems! Still no word from my Santa, and I have been very very good......

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 14 - 08:52 PM

Today I received a package from tomorrow. Being of a patient disposition I shall wait until Christmas to open it, no matter where my wife hides it from me.

Subject: RE: BS: SecretSanta 2014-tormenting of Santees
From: GUEST,Sarah the Flute's inSanity Claus
Date: 15 Dec 14 - 09:36 PM

I lied. I didn't get it handed over as early as I planned, but it is in the mail now. Herbie says he'll see what he can do - there are a few breadcrumbs that will glow in the right light, so I'll keep an eye on the track from here.

Santa