BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk

Subject: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: gnu
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 08:19 PM

Here in Canada, we drive on the right hand side of the road and we walk on the right hand side of sidewalks (go ahead and discuss what a sidewalk is). Soooo... our dogs should heel to the right and not to the left. I feel that the strict rules at dog shows regarding heeling to the left are antiquated and an affront to all colonies that drive cars and walk dogs on the right side of public travelways.

Unless you own a beagle, of course. Then, all bets are off. I suppose Corgis could be exempted as well, but for different reasons.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Ed T
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 08:34 PM

Pitbull dogs walk on whatever side of the sidewalk they want.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Ed T
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 08:39 PM

""If you are right handed..when you wipe your ass do you use your right hand or your left?""

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Ed T
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 08:45 PM

The right and wrong way in India 

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Ed T
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 08:47 PM

The wong way 

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Ed T
Date: 25 Nov 14 - 08:49 PM

There is no wrong side in China 

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 02:21 AM

There is no 'wrong side'.

I always walk placing myself between my dog and the road - if I'm walking the footpath on the left side of the road, the dog is on my left, if im walking the right-hand footpath, he's on my right.

It's common-sense Road Safety.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Musket
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 02:48 AM

The first part of the Turbary (you have sidewalks I have a Turbary, live with it) the drain is on my left, and the final part is on my right. The alleged greyhound needs to shit in the waste weeds at the drain edge. Otherwise, I get a poop bag out rather than a "good boy" gravy bone.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 03:24 AM

When two dog walkers meet and wish to shake hands it must be more convenient to have the dog on the left.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 03:29 AM

Wow! A Turbary! That's a new one on me (but then I'm a council-estate lad born and bred, my mum almost died of apoplexy when I told her I was buying my first house!). :-)

My dad always called the footpath (or that daft 'sidewalk' that the colonials call it) the 'Coursey', which I've always assumed was a corruption of 'causeway'.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 03:40 AM

Turbary? There's a song about that! How dobyou cut the sriff?

Regards

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 05:27 AM

Never shake the right hand of a right handed dog walker, especially if he/she has a small plastic bag in it. ( big bag if the dog is a Great Dane, or a Newfoundland).

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 05:55 AM

Why not? You pick the shit up with your hand in the bag, then turn the bag inside-out and tie it. No shit ever touches the hand (unless you're a clumsy a Person!). 👍

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Musket
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 05:55 AM

Aye, we had a coursey when I was knee high to a whippet too. The turbary is a road along a ditch, dyke or drain. Here on The Isle of Axholme, we have millions of the buggers and they are officially called as such. For the record, the alleged greyhound is exercised mostly around The Stockholes Turbary.

Here, we seeing you tonight?

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 06:00 AM

A person? WTF?
APE!

Sorry matey, won't get there tonight - my jet-setting international executive wife is in Brussels, so I'm on dog-duty (appropriately enough! 😄). Next time though (complete with iPad! 😃😃😃😃😃😃).

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 06:41 AM

I say! Letting the side down! That's what the butler's for!

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Musket
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 07:42 AM

Butler?

Peasant. We have a dog walker for walking the dog. The butler answers the door, puts toothpaste on my brush and irons my Times.

(Bloody true sadly, that first bit. Mrs Musket is out up to 14 hours a day and I am either sat on my arse at home (today) or in London all day, returning home at 10.00pm (yesterday for example.)

I do get to pretend to be part of the proletariat first thing in the morning though, and if he has been a good boy, last thing at night rather than being kicked up the garden. We take him for long walks at weekends too.

All told, he is a lucky little boy. Far luckier than when he was a racer, judging by the damning BBC documentary recently about cruelty in the greyhound racing world.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 07:56 AM

Regardless of whether we are accompanied by a dog, does the side of the pavement on which we walk vary according to the side we drive on? I've never noticed.

If there's no pavement of course you are supposed to walk facing oncoming traffic. I believe deal cyclists should be seen as pedestrians are do the same, but of course they don't.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 08:31 AM

""I believe... cyclists should be seen as pedestrians...do the same, but of course they don't.""

Where I live bicycles are required to, generally, to follow the rules of the road for motor vehicles-and are not considered pedestrians. So, yes cyclists do drive on the same side of the road as motor vehicles, and nit on sidewalks.

I believe most recommended safety practices for pedestrians walking on streets (where no sidewalks exists), is to walk facing traffic. I see no firm rules for pedestrians on sidewalks, beyond courtesy and common sense.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 08:43 AM

Try walking along an unlit road at night where there are no pavements, and then tell me it is safer to face oncoming traffic. That way you are blinded by the traffic coming towards you, and if you try to gat out of the way you don't know if you will be climbing onto a bank or falling into a ditch.
Walking on the same side as the traffic you know when a vehicle is coming because of the lights, which also light up the side of the road so that you can see where to get out of the way until it passes you.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 08:51 AM

On a lighter note, there was an account on Radio 4 a while ago by someone who had moved to Paris, and was surprised to find, when he went jogging in the park, that everyone else seemed to be running in the opposite direction. He was running round the park clockwise, while the French joggers were going anti-clockwise, as if going round a French one-way system or traffic roundabout driving on the right.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 09:10 AM

Walk as you wish, as you see fit, but most walking safety advice I have seen does not support your approach, Topsie.


walking 


Again, safe walking 

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 11:29 AM

Topside, athletes all over the world run anti-clockwise. It's a proven fact that better times are achieved anti-clockwise than clockwise - thought to be something to do with the position and alignment of the human heart (according to a TV programme I watched a few years ago).

I think your friend is out of step! 😄

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 11:31 AM

Topside? Grrrrrrr! F***ing predictive text! TOPSIE!!

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: GUEST, topsi[d]e
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 12:35 PM

Don't worry, I wasn't going to 'beef' about it.

I wondered whether people who are right-handed AND right-legged, probably the majority, might find it easier to veer slightly to the left as they run round.

Incidentally, do motor racing circuits vary in different countries in accordance with the roads? And then there are horse races. Do they all go round the same way?

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 01:04 PM

LOL Topsie!

Dunno about motor-racing, me being the antithesis of a Petro-Head but,nihilist most horse-racing tracks are anti-clockwise, I believe there are a few in the UK which are clockwise (but don't ask me to name them - I'm not a follower of the Gee-Gees either!).

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 01:06 PM

Fuckin' predictive text again!

Petro........Petrol

Nihilist....(WTF.).......Whilst

Effin' Apple crap!

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 01:09 PM

I have read that people who are lost in the forest tend to walk in circles-but whether the circles are more clockwise or counter, (and if it was determined by where you were from or other factors) was never mentioned.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 01:30 PM

When I was an active glider-pilot, I always found,mas a right-handed person, that left-hand turns were easier to fly than right-hand ones. Often wondered if a left-handed person would feel the opposite way?

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 01:36 PM

Most of those little plastic bags, containing once-lukewarm dogshite, are to be seen suspended from tree branches round here, like forlorn little scrota, abandoned by disgruntled castrati who have just discovered that the operation can't after all be reversed. Of course, the average dogwalker looks round, left, right, back, front, up, down (a drone could be watching, you know...) to determine whether his dog was spotted shitting by anybody. If it wasn't, he's in luck, and can reserve his potential spare scrotum for another day and just sidle off. Well, let's put it this way: if I ever owned a dog (and I'd rather hack off my own privates with a rusty machete), you'd never catch me handling a vile little warm bag o' turd. And I certainly wouldn't even think of going within a yard of the lid of one of those nasty little doggipoo bins, at least not without a pint of Dettol in my back pocket. Dog owners? You don't know where they've been...

Tell me, dogwalkers: when you are disposing of your little shitbags, do you choose tree branches on the right of the road or the left?

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 01:51 PM

dog poop in a tree 

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 01:53 PM

I choose the red bin with the picture of a dog on it. If there isn't a red bin around I take my dog's shit home in its little bag, and dispose of it in the bin which we keep in the back yard specifically for that purpose.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 02:05 PM

Nice one, Ed, though I'm not sure yet that you're on my side on this one. ;-) Might I just ask what happens if your dog's doodah is, er, ever so slightly runny? When you pick it up you leave a nasty little smear that is far less visible to the unsuspecting than the original upstanding turd. Strikes me that it would be safer all round to leave the bloody thing where it is, since at least we could see it then. If we're looking, of course. "What did you see on your country ramble, Dad?" "Why, nothing, sweetheart - I was far too occupied making sure I didn't step in any turds..."

I recall the good old days when I worked on the parks department up north. In those days dogs ate a lot more bones and, after a week's drying out, their turds turned dry and white and went off with a big powdery PUFF when you accidentally ran the mower over them. Jaysus, I must have inhaled a ton of that stuff...

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 02:13 PM

And you'd also find, if you took the time to enquire, that the decent, responsible majority of dog owners who dispose of their dog's shit properly also deplore the 'tree-hangers' just as much as you do - probably more so, because those POS A-holes get the decent dog-owners a bad name (lumped together, as they are by idiots).

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: IamNoMan
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 03:43 PM

Does all this traveling widdershins stuff apply below the Equator?

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Musket
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 03:46 PM

Back home or the red dog egg bin at the end of Green Lane.

Yeah, the tree decorations piss me off too. Where I used to live, a tree in a front garden of a neighbour often had bags, and from one lady with her mutt. He collected them in a bin till there were quite a few and spread them on her lawn. She called the police, they listened to both sides, told him not to take the law into his own hands but said he was legally returning her property, albeit provocatively and gave her an official caution for criminal damage and littering.

Best bit? She sits on the local magistrates bench...

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 03:50 PM

The biter bit! (See what I did there? 😃)

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 03:51 PM

Errrmm, shouldn't you be at the Mowbray? 😜

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 05:38 PM

"It goes from pudding to poop real quick."

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 08:49 PM

The most misleading phrase in the English language: "the majority of responsible dog-owners..."

If I meet one in twenty dog-owners who could be described as a "responsible dog owner" I'd be doing unrealistically well. Let's face it. The vast majority of dog-owners let their dogs shit wherever they like. What's more, they have absolutely no control over their cur whatsoever. The number of times I've been pawed on the chest or saturated with infected canine saliva by some lunatic dog who is "just being friendly" is beyond recall. Dog owners have this daft mindset whereby everyone in the world who doesn't love their personal shitting noise-machine to bits is a bit of a tit. Well, to me, it's the other way round. If you really need the "company" of a smelly, slavering hound, well it's you who's, er, barking bloody mad, not me!

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Nov 14 - 09:09 PM

Agree that most dog owners I have met seem to be under the distorted illusion that everyone likes their, and possibly all, dogs.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 02:57 AM

Thank Dog I don't live in your miserable, po-faced world, Shaw.
The more I have to do with people, the more I appreciate dogs.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Musket
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 03:10 AM

I should have been and up till 7.30 would have been.

We have a joiner and decorator in making new wardrobes etc. I pulled my back shifting the old bed, (war wound from "darhn 'pit, back held together with pins) so not *%#!ing capable of driving, let alone sitting on a pub seat.

A wee bit annoyed 'cos I am considering some work that if I accept will mean being in London most Wednesday nights for the foreseeable, so don't want to miss too many local nights in the meantime.

Sorry, where were we? Dogs. Not capable of walking him today so grovelled to the dog walker to cram in an extra early start today.

(Hopefully a bit better tomorrow. If I miss my driver awareness course in Grimsby, I will get three points and a fine, plus not get course few back. I am a grade A criminal for doing 35 in a 30 zone, ten yards from the 40 zone leaving Haxey. Humberside pigs rule supreme. Grr)

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 03:26 AM

Get well soon!

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: GUEST,Steve Shaw sans po
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 09:50 AM

Po- faced, moi? It's a shame all you mutt-lovers aren't forced to carry a po round with you for your pooches to shit into instead of all over the grass. One bloke recently couldn't understand that yes, there is something wrong with his allowing his animal to piss all over my car wheel right under my nose. Owning a dog is a privilege, and with privilege comes responsibility. Most dog-owners round here can't control their dogs at all when they're off their leads and some of them not even when they're on leads. The dog of a mate of mine is so exuberant that you can hardly tell whether my mate's walking a dog or flying a kite. And most dog-owners round here do pick up the shite, but only when someone's looking.


There should be a bloody law, I tell you...

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 10:01 AM

There is. And I obey it. My dog stays under control when we're out and I pick up after him every time, wherever I am, and whether I'm being observed or not.

I'm happy to accept the relevance and validity of specific criticisms of offending individuals, however the kind of broad-brush-daubing and generalisations against an entire group says far more about you and your 'debating' methods than it does about them.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Charmion
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 10:19 AM

I always admire dogs when they're out into the neighbourhood with their humans, stroke their ears (if permitted [by the dog]) and otherwise make much of them.

Then I go home gratefully to my litter-trained (by their mother) cats.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 10:26 AM

Ah, would they be the cats that come uninvited into my garden, shit in my borders, then bury it for me to find when I put my hands in the soil while I'm planting out?

Now there's something our Stevie-boy ought to be getting all het-up and shouting the odds about.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: GUEST,Stevie-boy Shaw
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 10:41 AM

That's called " free fertiliser".

"Dogs must be kept on leads" reads the sign at the entrance to our local nature reserve. Last time I was there, I counted ten dogs. Two were on leads. A couple more were walking nicely. The rest were charging around in the reed beds where there are ground-nesting birds and rare plants. One path to the side is known locally as Dogshit Alley. The dog-owner mentality is that those silly rules don't apply to me. "Let down by an irresponsible minority" my arse!

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Ed T
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 11:34 AM

""Ah, would they be the cats that come uninvited into my garden, shit in my borders, then bury it for me to find when I put my hands in the soil while I'm planting out?""

""I'm happy to accept the relevance and validity of specific criticisms of offending individuals, however the kind of broad-brush-daubing and generalisations against an entire group says far more about you and your 'debating' methods than it does about them.""
Just wondering: Is it more noble to make a broad-brush generalization about a less favoured species than a favoued one?

Clearly inconsiderate "pet" owners is the issue. In the case of cats, they are either feral, or, pets of irresponsible and uncaring owners (for the animals welfare, and for neighbours) are allowing cats to be "at large". In the case of irresponsible dog owners, they are close to the problem, and can easily be more considerate to neighbours by cleaning up after the animal at the end of the leash.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Musket
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 11:45 AM

As the owner of a greyhound with a rather large garden with lots of shrubberies etc where you don't see what is there sometimes, I often get a worried feeling when I see a poster locally for a missing cat...

Cats (one in particular) love sitting in from of the french windows, close to his bean bag, cleaning themselves. Why should I have a distressed dog? Why should I check, as I do, before letting him out? I don't want to see someone's cat dead, but rescue greyhounds have been trained from birth to catch and kill anything small and furry. he is the most placid creature I have ever known but the trained red mist can come down...

I can't let him off in public because of it. (Sorry about your Yorkie Missus, don't cry. I'll buy you another one though if we can't put this one back together.)

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Charmion
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 11:48 AM

Why, no, Backwoodsman, my cats would not be the ones who shit in your borders. My cats -- city creatures that they are -- have never been out of doors in their lives.

Their pampered existence is spent entirely within the walls of our downtown row house, located as it is on three bus routes and some 500 metres from the banks of the Rideau River, which are rife with raccoons and skunks and other animals likely to harbour ill-will toward house cats. Not to speak of the high school across the street, or the traffic charging toward (and away from) the bridge over the Ottawa River.

This neighbourhood is risky enough for humans, let alone heedless young cats.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 27 Nov 14 - 12:10 PM

Thanks Charmion, glad to hear it's not them! 😄

I pity anyone so devoid of a soul that they are unable to respond positively to animals. My dog could teach Little Stevie a lot about making friends and influencing people.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: gnu
Date: 28 Nov 14 - 06:10 AM

Well, this thread went to shit quickly.

Turds in trees? Never heard of it. Couldn't even have dreamt it up... how odd.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Charmion
Date: 28 Nov 14 - 06:29 AM

Your life is charmed, gnu. We have turd-hangers in Ottawa, too, and if I ever catch one in the act there will be Trouble.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: GUEST,Steve Shaw nature-lover
Date: 28 Nov 14 - 06:35 AM

Typical defensive dog-owner response from Backwoodsman there. "If you don't love my dog you're a git who hates all animals." Well dogs are not all animals. As a matter of fact I have an organic garden with diverse habitats and lots of cover deliberately designed to attract bird life, and very successful it is too. I have grass snakes every year nesting in my compost heaps, frogs and toads breed in abundance in my pond and my butterflies, dragonflies and damselflies are a joy to behold. The problem I have with dogs is their owners. Most dogs are not living in appropriate surroundings for a start. Gardens not big enough, owners with not enough time to walk 'em enough, owners clueless about dog control, owners assuming that we all have to love their smelly, disease-ridden mutts to bits otherwise we're soulless or po-faced, owners who'll get their dogs to shit anywhere except on their own patch... I do love a nice dog, really I do. And people who take their dogs to pubs where food is being served should be bloody shot on sight.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 28 Nov 14 - 07:09 AM

Typical childish petulance, aggression and blabber-mouthing from our very own Little Ray of Sunshine, Stevie-Boy there. I hope the earth moved for you.

When you learn to actually read and take notice of what other people write, instead of stereotyping and simply repeating your own illogical dogmas over and over, it'll be worth engaging with you. But I don't hold out much hope that you'll ever conquer your OCD.

I repeat - my dog could teach you a lot about how to make friends and influence people. My friend's autistic daughter has better social skills than you.

You're on your own, Sunny. Have fun.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Ed T
Date: 28 Nov 14 - 07:50 AM

"If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished?"  Rumi

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: GUEST,Steve Shaw unoffendable
Date: 28 Nov 14 - 07:58 AM

Well that's very nice is that, I don't think, Backwoodsman. As I say, typical defensive response from a dog-sycophant. You diminish yourself, sir. For the last ten minutes I've been watching a red admiral fluttering in the November sunshine outside my front window. Remarkable sighting at this time of year, especially after a run of cold nights. Balm to the soul.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: gnu
Date: 28 Nov 14 - 08:50 AM

Mad Dogs and Englishmen?

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Ed T
Date: 28 Nov 14 - 09:08 AM

""If dogs could talk, perhaps we'd find it just as hard to get along with them as we do with people"". - Diana Black

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Musket
Date: 28 Nov 14 - 10:49 AM

If dogs could talk???????

Why the bloody hell do you think they are called man's best friend? They are the only members of the family with which we can get a bloody word in edgeways or indeed have the last word...

Although after an argument he tends to go out and shit on the middle of the lawn which is kind of the last word, watching me pick it up.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: GUEST,Steve Shaw, dogged
Date: 28 Nov 14 - 08:24 PM

I do that sometimes as well. The only trouble is, nobody picks it up. :-(

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Musket
Date: 29 Nov 14 - 03:03 AM

I thought it couldnt all be his. Just ask for a backdoor key will you? The toilet is the right hand door to your right, the one with the pullcord light outside the door.

Alternatively, poo bags are in the "dog" cupboard in the utility room further along. If you pick your own up, feel free to take a gravy bone as reward.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: GUEST,Steve Shaw
Date: 29 Nov 14 - 06:57 AM

I'll be round in a minute. But I warn you now: it's Andrex Quilts or nothing. I do a very good dog's sliding arse imitation, you know.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Musket
Date: 29 Nov 14 - 07:47 AM

I used to have a dog that could, but it was no impression unless you count the impression on the carpet...

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 29 Nov 14 - 08:00 PM

If aliens came to Earth and saw dogs walking around, followed by humans retrieving their shit, which would they think was the dominant species?

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Musket
Date: 30 Nov 14 - 03:20 AM

Retrieving would make them think. Watching us carry it around in bags would make them know. Seeing the less civilised ignorant chavs tie the bags to trees would convince them that we have religion.

You can learn a lot from a crapping dog. Just ask the designers of the Chrysler Crossfire.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Nov 14 - 08:26 AM

Luckly few people got sucked in to buying the Chrysler Crossfire (aka, "old-style" Mercedes-Benz SLK in ass-mongrul clothing).

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Musket
Date: 30 Nov 14 - 11:29 AM

The (soon to be) Lord Clarkson of Doncaster said on Top Gear that in profile, it was modelled on a crapping greyhound.

I did notice our greyhound having a crap on the lawn and in the background was Mrs Musket's SLK. Luckily it is the new one so I didn't get confused.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 01 Dec 14 - 07:39 AM

BBC Radio 4 Gardeners' Question Time included an interview with Dr Ian Bedford of the John Innes Centre, discussing the invasion of giant Spanish slugs. He said: "... they will eat dead animals - they'd eat, unfortunately dogs' mess ...".
Why is that unfortunate? If there is one good thing about giant Spanish slugs, it has to be that. Let's introduce them to our streets and parks and let the clean-up begin.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Musket
Date: 01 Dec 14 - 07:57 AM

21st century dung beetles, if you ask me..

There is a drain (ditch type waterway) that we walk along and every so often, it is dredged and reeds dumped on the side. I have no problem with leaving my dog's eggs there, in the long grass between path and water as curiously, they have disappeared a few hours later.

I wonder if these are chorizo looking worms then?

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: olddude
Date: 01 Dec 14 - 04:08 PM

Spaw and I always walked dogs on the side easiest to shit in the neighbors yard

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Ed T
Date: 01 Dec 14 - 04:22 PM

""Coprophagia"" could be perpetual bowel motions?

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 01 Dec 14 - 04:37 PM

Stepped onto some grass tonight to pick my dog's shit up, and straight into a load of someone else's dog's shit that those dirty bastards hadn't.

That has to be the ultimate insult.

(And no, I didn't hang my dog's shit in a tree, it went in the dog-shit bin which our council provide all over the town).

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: olddude
Date: 01 Dec 14 - 09:26 PM

I got a pair of dog shit magnetic boots every time I wear the things the same thing happens some how I step in a doggie land mine from someone else's dog

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: olddude
Date: 01 Dec 14 - 09:28 PM

What side of the road does that poo throwing monkey chongo walk on

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 01 Dec 14 - 10:21 PM

I walk on whichever damn side I feel like walkin' on, see? And if I see you, you better cross over to the other one!

Anyways, there ain't no wrong side to a sidewalk unless ya mean the underside of it, and you can't walk a dog there. The only thing you might do on the underside of the sidewalk is dig up Jimmy Hoffa, providin' you dug in exactly the right place.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: olddude
Date: 01 Dec 14 - 10:32 PM

So that's what I am stepping in.. Filthy chimp

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 02 Dec 14 - 01:19 AM

Eat my bongos, human trash.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: gnu
Date: 02 Dec 14 - 12:59 PM

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." Miles Cleverley.

Subject: RE: BS: Walking a dog on wrong side of sidewalk
From: olddude
Date: 02 Dec 14 - 03:37 PM

You are dead chongo just admit it