Folklore: Untrue sayings

Subject: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 17 Mar 15 - 03:15 PM

My mother often said "Better out than in". I found that untrue when arrested at the age of 18...

More seriously. Things like "Your face will stick like that if the wind changes" or "A whistling woman and a crowing hen will bring the devil out of his den" are obviously untrue but someone once believed them.

Going on a step, will people in years to come think we were stupid for believing half the things we do? Or did? Thinking of the latest change about eggs and butter not being bad for you after all. Or rats spreading plague. Will things like that becore the folklore of the next century?

Worth a chat?

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: GUEST,Tunesmith
Date: 17 Mar 15 - 04:03 PM

I've heard the following saying used, when somebody is learning a new skill ( to play a musical instrument, for example):

"It's just as easy to do it right as wrong".

Well, that is not true!!!

It takes a lot more concentration and patience to do it right!

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: Thompson
Date: 17 Mar 15 - 05:45 PM

The first step is half the journey… NOT!

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: Marje
Date: 17 Mar 15 - 06:22 PM

"There's nothing either right or wrong but thinking makes it so" was one of my mother's many gnomic utterances. Some of them were advice that I could have done without, too: "Be good, sweet maid, and let who will be clever," and "Neither a borrower nor a lender be" were two I totally refused to accept.
Marje

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: Joe_F
Date: 17 Mar 15 - 06:48 PM

A dog, a wife, and a walnut tree:
The more you beat them, the better they'll be.

(Hard to imagine anything untruer than that.)

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 17 Mar 15 - 08:05 PM

"It's too cold to snow"

Antarctica is the coldest place on earth and it's covered in the stuff.

DC

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 17 Mar 15 - 08:18 PM

Doug, there is just a tiny element of truth in that. When it's really cold, as under an intense winter anticyclone, the descending air will ensure that no precipitation falls. Another thing is that very cold air can hold little water vapour. There isn't much potential for significant snowfall. Generally, in cold weather when it snows, it's a warm front between cold air ahead and warmer air behind that causes the disturbance that would produce the heaviest snow. In many cases snow falls most heavily when the weather is about to warm up (and the snow then turns to rain). Finally, the reason Antarctica is covered in deep snow (mostly ice, in fact) is that the rate of melting/sublimation is much slower even than the accumulation of the relatively light snowfall.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 17 Mar 15 - 08:23 PM

Eat your crust - it'll put hairs on your chest.


And we all know what'll give you hairy palms...

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 17 Mar 15 - 08:36 PM

If you sit on a cold wall you'll get piles.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 17 Mar 15 - 08:48 PM

... the rate of melting/sublimation is much slower even than the accumulation of the relatively light snowfall.

"...has been much slower, at least until recently..." might have been more accurate, sadly.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: FreddyHeadey
Date: 17 Mar 15 - 09:13 PM

Doug - what Steve Shaw said -

And I love it that Kipling was pointing it out a hundred and something years ago in
Our Fathers Of Old

& sung by Peter Bellamy

"Pat as a sum in division it goes -
(Every herb had a planet bespoke) -
Who but Venus should govern the Rose ?
Who but Jupiter own the Oak ?
....Half their remedies cured you dead -
Most of their teaching was quite untrue -
"Look at the stars when a patient is ill
(Dirt has nothing to do with disease),
Bleed and blister as much as you will,
Blister and bleed him as oft as you please."
Whence enormous and manifold
Errors were made by our fathers of old.

...If it be certain, as Galen says -
And sage Hippocrates holds as much -
"That those afflicted by doubts and dismays
Are mightily helped by a dead man's touch,"
Then be good to us, stars above !
Then be good to us, herbs below !
We are afflicted by what we can prove,
We are distracted by what we know.
So - ah, so!
Down from your heaven or up from your mould,
... Send us the hearts of our fathers of old !

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Mar 15 - 09:29 PM

A bird in the hand might actually be worth two in the bush, but what the hell's a bird worth anyway? If it's an edible bird like a chicken, it's probably going to be in a chicken coop, not a bush. And, anyway, a bird in the hand is apt to shit on your coat sleeve, so leave the damned thing in the bush where it belongs.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 17 Mar 15 - 09:33 PM

One of my mother-in-law's many quaint beliefs - "Never look over a baby's head or his/her eyes will get stuck" - this presumes said baby is lying flat and you have come into view from above its head, so are effectively looking at him/her upside down.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: Musket
Date: 18 Mar 15 - 04:19 AM

My Gran would insist on only seeing a new moon from outside. She thought it would be bad luck to see it through a window.

I suppose most of the sayings here are encapsulating superstition. A bit like coveting your neighbours missus and adultery. You won't burn in hell really, although your shirts might get shredded with bacon scissors and scattered on the front lawn.

"Sitting on cold surfaces gives you piles." It doesn't. Although it does make men more fertile if your love spuds are in contact too.

There is a "saying" among guitarists that ground nut oil is better than lemon oil for cleaning and preserving fret boards. Really? All I found was I caught a certain alleged greyhound licking my bloody guitar.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: Vic Smith
Date: 18 Mar 15 - 09:37 AM

Here's an old saying that it is very difficult to dispute:-

When Oak and Ash be out in May,
It don't mean nothing either way.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 18 Mar 15 - 10:37 AM

The saying in the physical fitness industry, "No pain; no gain." That's wrong.

I took a course of aerobic dance with an orthopedic nurse for a while, and she used to bounce around the studio shouting, "If it hurts, quit!" I think she had the more intelligent approach.

Now the physical fitness industry seems to prefer to tell victims to "work through the pain." I guess it sounds like Zen and sells better.

(I don't mean that EVERYBODY that goes to the gym is a victim. But if you are getting injured and they still push you, then you are.)

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 18 Mar 15 - 11:11 AM

Leeneia, I find it good to go with this version
of that saying:

   "No pain----no pain."

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: Joe_F
Date: 18 Mar 15 - 06:18 PM

"If it hurts, quit" is the kind of advice that might be called dangerously sensible.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Mar 15 - 07:54 PM

Sitting on cold surfaces doesn't give you hemorrhoids, it gives you polaroids.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: LadyJean
Date: 18 Mar 15 - 08:57 PM

You can do anything you set your mind to. Well, I suppose you can, but probably not very well.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: JennieG
Date: 18 Mar 15 - 11:17 PM

I grew up being told that eating my crusts would give me curly hair......

.....still waiting.......

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: GUEST,Janet
Date: 18 Mar 15 - 11:34 PM

When I was a teenager and had my period my mother used to say,
"When you are unwell (referring to having my period) do not eat anything or drink anything cold." "It will make you feel worse and upset your stomach if you do." She always referred to having your period as being "Unwell."

Ladies: Did any of your mother's said anything similar?

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: GUEST,Dave Hunt
Date: 19 Mar 15 - 01:21 AM

A bird in the hand makes it difficult to blow the nose.
People who live in glasshouses should undress in the dark.
Too many brothels spoil the cook.
A rolling stone gathers momentum.
'A stitch in time saves nine' said the mother of eight as she sewed her husbands pyjamas up.
Too many cooks indicates a union.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Mar 15 - 03:18 AM

"All being well and tuppence in the kitty", as my Mum used to say.

Not true!!!!

Age 7, and all was not well when next door's cat scratched the hell out of my arms and face while I was trying to shove pennies up it's bum.

You live and learn...

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: Mr Red
Date: 19 Mar 15 - 04:35 AM

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be" Well! We borrowed from Bill Shakespear and we borrowed, and we borrowed, and we............. still do.
And when I was courting we held a family baby and playfully showed it itself in a mirror. The grandmother went spare "Don't show a baby its reflection until it is a year old". GF (daughter of GM) & I never heard that one!
years later a SO came up with one about "back luck passing on the stairs", now I can see the logic in that, especially on badly lit stairs &/or carrying stuff. Especially in days of yore when carrying a candle wearing a flammable nightdress etc.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 19 Mar 15 - 04:57 AM

Janet's story reminds me of one my Mum used to tell, when, as a fairly new teacher, one of her pupils complained of a "headache". My Mum assumed she meant she was "unwell" and gave her a sanitary pad.
She later saw the girl wearing the pad across her forehead!
Lesson: don't assume that euphemisms are being used!

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: GUEST,silver
Date: 19 Mar 15 - 06:19 AM

Here's a harsh one from my grandparents:

"A good man will fend for himself, and a bad one there's no point in helping."

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Mar 15 - 07:51 AM

Jennie "I grew up being told that eating my crusts would give me curly hair......

.....still waiting....... "

Are you sure you're looking in the right place?

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: GUEST,DTM
Date: 19 Mar 15 - 07:54 AM

Carrots are good for your eyes because you never see rabbits wearing specs.

A swan can break your arm.
Does anybody actually know of someone who has had their arm broken by a swan?

Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy wealthy & wise.
Em, not if your missus is slipping out at midnight and whooping it up with her fancy man on your credit card.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: GUEST,Midchuck
Date: 19 Mar 15 - 08:04 AM

"Early to rise and early to bed
Makes a man healthy and wealthy and dead."

- James Thurber

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Mar 15 - 08:07 AM

"Your cheque is in the post" - rarely true.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Mar 15 - 08:52 AM

"He's in a meeting"

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: Joe_F
Date: 19 Mar 15 - 06:28 PM

Lightning never strikes twice in the same place.

If you don't move, the bees won't sting you.

Be good, sweet maid, and let who will be clever.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 19 Mar 15 - 06:33 PM

He'll not get there any faster!

Yes he will, Mother, he is doing 80 and I am doing 50...

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: Musket
Date: 20 Mar 15 - 04:24 AM

It tastes a bit like chocolate.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: GUEST,Derrick
Date: 20 Mar 15 - 06:56 AM

Doctors and nurses who say "this will not hurt"
Leave out one word "Me"

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Mar 15 - 08:14 AM

"I Can't Believe It's Not Butter".
Yeh, right!

Should have been called "WTF Is This S**t?"

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: GUEST,M
Date: 20 Mar 15 - 10:10 AM

The British comedian Jeremy Hardy refers to a product he terms "B*gger Me! It's Lard"...

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: meself
Date: 20 Mar 15 - 10:58 AM

"If you don't move, the bees won't sting you."

I have always found this to be true, and have had many occasions to test it. Have others experienced the contrary?

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Mar 15 - 12:43 PM

"Have others experienced the contrary?"

Oh sure! I was mowing the lawn and upset a bunch of bees that had burrowed near a tree. Maybe they objected to the noise. I stopped as they swarmed out, and I guess they liked an easy target.....THEN I ran like hell. Got 7-8 good stings.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: The Sandman
Date: 20 Mar 15 - 01:14 PM

walnut trees do fruit bettrer when the ends of the branches are whipped, or have sticks thrown at them.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: Joe_F
Date: 20 Mar 15 - 01:26 PM

There are also sayings that are not false, but "vacuously true" (as logicians say): true only because they include an impossible condition:

If you put salt on a bird's tail, it cannot fly away.
If you kiss the very tip of your elbow, you will change sex.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 20 Mar 15 - 02:58 PM

I put salt on a chickens tail only yesterday and it didn't fly away. Mind you, it had been roasting in the oven for 90 minutes...

You can also kiss the tip if your elbow if you are either double jointed or cut your arm off. Not sure how that helps to change sex though...

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 20 Mar 15 - 05:35 PM

As brown as a berry?

To tell you the truth?

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: GUEST,Guest of Guest
Date: 20 Mar 15 - 06:54 PM

You mean like:

You can lead GNU to wisdom......

But you can't make him think?

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Mar 15 - 07:51 PM

Not so much sayings as things people use to qualify what they are about to say; these particularly make me cringe:


I don't mean to nag, but.....

Not being one to criticise, but....

I'm not a racist, but.....

I'm not homophobic, but.....

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: LadyJean
Date: 20 Mar 15 - 09:58 PM

Anger and scolding are a mark of affection. I used to work for a woman who gave me merry Hell every spring because her daughters didn't come home for Passover, which was not my fault. I think she was fonder of her daughters than me. But I was a safer target.

Subject: RE: Folklore: Untrue sayings
From: Mr Red
Date: 21 Mar 15 - 05:27 AM

quoter 1 - "sarcasm is the lowest form of wit"
quoter 2 "but the highest form of quoter 1"

not so much untrue as destined to be countered, so unusable. Sorry Oscar.